astra ☆

“Saeyoung, what-” you shake your head at him fondly, unable to suppress the wide grin on your face upon seeing the flowers in his hands. “You didn’t have to-”

“When has that stopped me?” He laughs, pulling you close with an arm and kissing the top of your head as he hands you the bouquet. “Besides, our tax return came. So I-”

“Bought me flowers?” you can’t help but chuckle. Your words melding into his. “On your birthday, no less?”

The look on his face is a rather lovestruck variation of the expression he makes when he says “duh.”

“And?” Saeyoung shoots back.

“You know it’s been a little tough this year,” you sigh, fingers gently skimming over the petals, your head downturned as you admire the bouquet. With an exhale, you half-lie. “I haven’t even been able to get you a gift yet but you…”

“Baby, I know I joke around a lot, but-” he chuckles, gently taking your chin and raising it so he can meet your eyes. “I meant everything in our vows. Every single thing.”

You’re quiet. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. Saeyoung takes a moment to savor the sight of you in the kitchen just like this: eyes wide and looking up into his, all draped in his jacket as you bake, last night’s marks littered all over your skin, hair still a little bit unruly and yet- he looks at you with the biggest cartoon hearts in his eyes, anyway.

“My birthday or not,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear delicately and a fond smile grows on his face. “You deserve to receive flowers. Every single day.”

“Saeyoung…” you’re a little speechless, a little teary, your chest suddenly swarming with emotions, but then-

“Besides,” he grins, and you know he’s snapped back into his usual playfulness. “You’re, what?”

The redhead steals a swipe of what you’re mixing, humming at the taste as you smack his wrist lightly in scolding.

“This is frosting?” Saeyoung identifies. “You’re making me a cake after we stayed up waiting for my birthday last night. After all the rounds I put you through-”

“Okay, okay, enough!” You laugh, relenting. Feeling the way your cheeks burn and not-so-secretly relishing in his teasing. “Babe, I know you never had the tradition of celebrating before but cake is an absolute necessity. This isn’t a favor. You don’t have to repay me for it.”

“I’m going to thank you anyways,” his voice softens once more, arms loosely wrapping themselves around your waist like second nature- right where they belong. “You’re so happy when it’s my birthday, it’s almost as if it were your own.”

“I’m happier, actually,” you correct with a giggle as you begin to divide portions of the mixture. Saeyoung watches intently from over your shoulder.

“It kinda…” you murmur, tilting your head slightly while focusing on your task. Bottom lip catching between your teeth. “It may as well be my birthday too, really. What would my life be without you?”

He absolutely melts as you turn in his arms and look up at him with that shy smile of yours. After all these years of being married and getting married again (and again), these little things you do never fail to knock the wind right out his lungs.

“You’d be just fine, pretty,” Saeyoung says like you have no choice but to believe him. “It’s me who’d have a drastically different life. Although, I do think that I’d still be funnier than whoever you would’ve ended up with.”

Both your laughs fill the kitchen as you fold colors into the icing, glancing up and nodding at him in agreement.

“That’s true. No one is funnier than you,” You smile, then after a beat, a thought pops into your mind and pulls a laugh from your chest.

“Except maybe, your coworker-”

“HEY!” Saeyoung interjects immediately with a childish sounding whine at this very big age of his. He lifts a finger and starts to say “Just because they’re as good at teasing me as you are-”

“I’m kidding,” you let go of the bowl and spatula in favor of grabbing his face in both hands and planting an obnoxious smack to his lips. “How was work, anyways? Did they have anything for you?”

Your husband is still a little lovestruck and dumbfounded from the kiss you gave him, the look on his face practically cartoonish. At the question, he blinks a little and physically shakes his head out of it. He hopes you don’t notice, but of course you do.

You always do.

“Hah,” Saeyoung chuckles, crossing his arms proudly as he watches you begin your crumb coat. “You know how Madame is, they pretend I’m an absolute pain in the ass-”

“Which you are,” you state matter-of-factly in between his sentence.

“Which I am!” He grins, hands now at his hips. With every word Saeyoung says, his voice gradually softens. “But I know I’m Vanderwood’s favorite. They got me a little gift and greeted me. Covered for me a bit too so I could leave early, that’s why I had time to get flowers for my beloved.”

“That was so sweet of them,” you smile fondly as you work the icing. Silently wondering how he’d react to your own gift. “Maybe you could bring leftover cake for them tomorrow, if…”

“Between you, me, and my brother-” Saeyoung laughs and raises a brow, one hand on the counter when he leans his face a bit closer to yours.

“Sorry,” you look up at him sheepishly. “It’s not my fault that Saeran also has a sweet tooth! And you, your mouth is kinda like a vacuum-”

“Or your cooking is simply the best, baby,” he shrugs without missing a beat, smiling all smug in that way he always does. Rolling your eyes and snickering, your fingers deliver a flick to the bridge of his glasses. Saeyoung’s laughter sounds like the stars themselves.

“He’s not working late tonight, is he?” You ask him, carefully cleaning up the first layer of frosting on the cake with a scraper. Slow and steady. Buying yourself a little more time.

“Naaah, I made sure he’d be here in time for dinner,” Saeyoung answers, none the wiser. So blissfully unaware of what you’re about to spring on him- his voice still so playful and full of mirth. “We’re all celebrating together whether he likes it or not!”

“That’s good,” you nod, and your nerves look like you’re simply focused on your task. Really, you were a genius for planning this the way you did. Saeyoung could read you like the back of his hand at this point. It was hard enough hiding something from him.

“Anything I can help you with?” He asks, noticing the look on your face. “You know, it’s fine if it isn’t really super perfect. It’s still gonna taste good, so you don’t have to-”

“Hush,” you lift the cake by the board as he reassures you, moving it to cool the crumb coat in the fridge so it can set. This is it, you say to yourself in your head. It’s time to tell him. With a deep breath, you calm yourself before giving Saeyoung your gift.

“It’s okay, just help me clean these up,” you say, turning to face him once more and walking back to the table, reaching for the used measuring cups and bowls. He nods and easily follows your instructions, bringing this and that to the sink.

You give yourself three seconds of stalling, before finally–

“Actually,” you tell him. “Can you check the oven for me? I’m pretty sure I didn’t leave anything in there, but I might’ve…” you trail off, watching as Saeyoung doesn’t even question your words. He reaches for the oven door and pulls it open.

Saeyoung’s brows furrow at what he sees, because this is strange. He knows how you bake bread. There’s usually a tray for the dough, but this- right on the iron rack of the oven? When you weren’t even baking bread in the first place?

“Why is there just one, singular bun in the-” he says as he cautiously taps it twice to check its temperature before pulling the bread out, his eyes widening at the sight of the white stick poked into the back of it. This…

Could it really be…?

Saeyoung’s hands tremble as he takes the stick out, seeing the two distinct lines that could only mean one thing.

“This isn’t a prank, is it?” he says in disbelief, setting down the bun in favor of running a hand up his forehead to clutch at his ginger strands as he stares at the positive pregnancy test. “You’re- This is-”

“There’s a bun in the oven, yes,” you supply for him with a soft giggle, walking up to where he stands and closing the oven door. Pressing a tender kiss to his cheek, you say ever so softly-

“Happy birthday, dad.”

All of a sudden, Saeyoung drops to his knees, hugging you around your waist and pulling you close. He’s quiet for a moment, and you take this time to run your fingers through his hair, a soft sigh escaping your lips. At the feeling, Saeyoung leans into your touch, his gaze lifting to meet your own.

The way he looks up at you, almost like you’re a deity, honey-amber eyes shining in the sunlight as he kneels down before you…

Yeah. This is the man you married.

Your Saeyoung.

What could you ever be so worried about?

“God…” Saeyoung murmurs, and you feel his fingertips against your skin, pushing up your shirt just enough to expose your stomach. You’re not showing yet, nowhere near it, but he starts kissing all over your tummy anyways.

“Hi baby,” he talks to the life you created together in the hopes that his words reach it, pressing his lips to your skin again and again.

“I can’t believe your mommy gave me the best gift…” Saeyoung trails off, his grip on your shirt growing tighter. His words have a way of trespassing every single barrier and going straight to your heart.

“... the best gift that I could ever ask for,” he rasps, and your eyes meet. Both glistening with so much emotion. Your mirror, always, every single time.

“Yeah?” You find yourself murmuring softly, fingers tenderly brushing against his face as you cup his cheek.

“Yeah,” he echoes, just as soft, and you’re taking off his glasses, bending down to press your lips to his forehead.

You think you hear a sniffle. But then Saeyoung is tickling you, and you erupt into laughter. The both of you. You’re in his arms on the kitchen floor and he’s leaning down, kissing you all over your face.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he proclaims with every little kiss. “Did I tell you that yet? Honey, I love you.”

And then he’s blowing a raspberry on your stomach.

“Saeyou- babe! Hey-!” You struggle between fits of laughter.

“Do you think the baby gets tickled like thi-” and just like that, Saeyoung is blowing another raspberry before you can even process his question.

“I don’t think that’s how it w- ah!”

“I think it’s worth a shot! Just let me try again-”

Saeyoung only stops when you’ve run out of breath from laughing. In his arms, he’s looking down at you like you hung the very stars in the sky. Like you’re the one who set all the planets in motion.

And just like gravity, he’s falling into you. Kissing you deeply.

Your eyes flutter shut just as your heart does in your chest. He makes the stupid thing grow wings and flap against your ribcage.

He doesn’t pull away just yet, his forehead resting on yours. He chuckles softly, eyes still closed.

“Every single time,” he whispers, lashes parting to reveal those eyes you love so much. “Fizzy. So fizzy.”

“Fizzy,” a soft laugh escapes your lips.

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “Like when the soda bubbles are all in your chest if you drink too fast-”

You shake your head fondly at him, feeling the heat grow in your cheeks, the color rising to match his hair. Will you ever tire of the way Saeyoung says these things?

“I can’t believe this man is going to be the father of my children,” you sigh rather dramatically.

“Oh, believe it, baby!” Saeyoung grins all goofy, lips pulled wide across his cheeks, exposing his teeth. “Because we’re having one.”

His voice softens, and his hand gently rests above the beating life in your womb.

“We’re having a baby.”

And so tonight, you have dinner with your husband and his brother. Together, you break the news to Saeran, who is ecstatic about being an uncle. Sure enough, the three of you get really close to finishing the cake you baked- the top having half cherries and half strawberries. While the twins are distracted and discussing anything and everything about having a baby, the doorbell rings.

You have to stifle a giggle.

“I’ll get it,” you say as you pass the two, gently touching their shoulders on the way to the door.

“You really thought you could celebrate without me?” Saeyoung hears it and laughs, knowing that voice and that soft click clack of their boots anywhere.

“You invited Madame?” Your husband asks as you return to the table.

“Of course they did,” Vanderwood snickers, but immediately smiles softly and nods at Saeran when the last slice of cake is passed to them. “Happy birthday, both of you.”

You take out the soju and as the night goes on, bottle after bottle is emptied by your little but growing family. Mostly by the tallest member of it. As the celebrations begin to ebb, so do your guests, bidding you and your husband good night.

“I’m really happy for you, you know?” Saeran says to his brother softly as they stand in the driveway, the twins clutching each others hands.

“I know,” Saeyoung murmurs, pulling Saeran into a hug and whispering into his ear. “Thank you. Happy birthday to us, Sae.”

“Happy birthday to us,” Saeran echoes, squeezing Saeyoung gently before letting go. “I’m gonna be the best uncle ever!” He declares into the universe before getting into his car and driving away, leaving Saeyoung chuckling to himself.

After cleaning up in the kitchen, you wonder what’s taking him so long to come back inside. You find him leaning against the doorframe, staring up at the sky, the cool night air kissing his cheek.

“Hey,” you say softly, gently squeezing Saeyoung’s arm to get his attention. “You okay?”

“Yeah?” Saeyoung is pulled from his thoughts, attention shifting from the stars to his star.

“Yeah,” he says again softly, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side and pressing a kiss into your hair. “More than okay.”

“Tell me what’s in that brain of yours,” you murmur, looking up at your husband, chin on his shoulder. “What are you thinking?”

“So,” he grins, and it’s so distracting that you ignore how you know he’s hiding his real thoughts. “You think since Saeran and I are twins, that maybe-”

“Choi Saeyoung! You’re going to make me carry two-”

He laughs and throws you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing at all, delivering a swift smack to your butt. You’re squealing and clinging onto him for dear life as he closes the front door before carrying you upstairs.

“Now that’s a thought. Maybe you’ve only got one in your little belly. I ought to give you one more, our baby might get lonely-”

“Yah! I don’t think that’s how it works-” you try to reason with him, but it falls on deaf ears. Saeyoung is already laying you down in bed. Already hovering on top of you. In the moonlight just like this, your shadows look like one.

“Let me try anyways,” Saeyoung whispers, lips a breadth away from yours. “Let me love you all over again.”

And in closing the gap between your lips, you give him the same answer you’ve always given him: yes.

In this lifetime and the next. A million times over.

Yes.

a/n: hi! admittedly, i’m a little rusty. haven’t written mysmes since the last work i posted here, but it’s saeyoung’s birthday 🥹 and it’s about time i wrote him a little fic, something more than my little poems every year (it’s the 4th year i am celebrating). so, apologies if it’s 1- not very canon (?) and 2- self-indulgent. i honestly just sat here and then this happened. well, actually i sat here, this happened, i got busy, and then this happened again. i really meant to post this last year but the letter had to do because i got busy with my thesis and graduation!! plus i tried to make it gender neutral as much as possible but i didn’t know how not to use ‘mommy.’ ㅠ ㅠ

…Hey, don’t sleep there. At least go to the bed to sleep.

…Aa, geez. It can’t be helped. …Let’s…go… You’re really light. Go to the bed, okay?

Here… done. Hm? Aa, okay okay. It would be ok if we sleep together, right? I understand, okay? You can’t sleep alone, right…

…Hey, come here. You want me to hug you? Okay. Hey, don’t be shy now. And also, don’t move stealthily, it tickles me.

…Sleep. Here. Yes, you are a kind girl. *kisses* … No. Don’t move again. Next is… the lips. *kisses*

Aa, that’s right. I like to kiss you. Though I also like… doing other things too.

Eh? “Toma, you idiot”? That’s not good~ What did you imagine to get so red like this?

What I meant was… things like shopping together, watching TV together, things like these~

Haha~ I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Aha, stop. Don’t beat my chest.

…Yes. What I meant was exactly what you imagined. In a more… adult meaning.

*kisses* … Kissing you is not enough. It’s not it. Wrong? There’s no problem in being wrong. More…

*kisses* …I wonder why. No matter how much I hug you, no matter how much I kiss you, it’s not even slightly enough. It only makes me want more and more.

…Hey, don’t sleep there. At least go to the bed to sleep.

…Aa, geez. It can’t be helped. …Let’s…go… You’re really light. Go to the bed, okay?

Here… done. Hm? Aa, okay okay. It would be ok if we sleep together, right? I understand, okay? You can’t sleep alone, right…

…Hey, come here. You want me to hug you? Okay. Hey, don’t be shy now. And also, don’t move stealthily, it tickles me.

…Sleep. Here. Yes, you are a kind girl. *kisses* … No. Don’t move again. Next is… the lips. *kisses*

Aa, that’s right. I like to kiss you. Though I also like… doing other things too.

Eh? “Toma, you idiot”? That’s not good~ What did you imagine to get so red like this?

What I meant was… things like shopping together, watching TV together, things like these~

Haha~ I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Aha, stop. Don’t beat my chest.

…Yes. What I meant was exactly what you imagined. In a more… adult meaning.

*kisses* … Kissing you is not enough. It’s not it. Wrong? There’s no problem in being wrong. More…

*kisses* …I wonder why. No matter how much I hug you, no matter how much I kiss you, it’s not even slightly enough. It only makes me want more and more.