The Time I Pushed a Jerkface off a 35ft Cliff(With Good Reason)
Before we start off let me be clear. I did not murder a man by randomly shoving him off a cliff. Technically, I actually had permission, but still not murder. Chill.
Here we go.
So this is back in Mexico, at the same park as the Sting Ray Incident, just an hour later. Id already recovered from my near death experience and moved on from my friend nearly drowning me. I faced it, i survived, im good and not concerned.
One of the many attractions at this park was the Cliff of Courage. Itâs a 35ft cliff that plunges into the water. Now, by my standards, 35ft is low for a cliff jump. Ive done way higher (adrenaline junkie) but obviously i was gonna jump just to say that I did. My parents, grandparents, and Jamie didnt want to jump. No surprise, so they went ahead to meet me on the other side of the river.
So sixteen year old me wanders over and thereâs this big group of burly looking men.
Like huge
Theyâre all standing at the edge jostling each other around. And just by looking at them you can see theyâre american. I dont even need to hear their texan accents to know.
So theyâre pulling the whole macho act of âyou jump i jumpâ âohhh but then you wont jumpâ bs and just generally being chickens and not willing to show it.
And because of this they wont let anyone else jump. Like ten people came and left because these jerks wouldnt let anyone else go.
Eventually i get annoyed and snap âeither jump or get out of my way!â
And the dude who is obviously the leader just turns and grins at me.
He assumed what i call the âdouchebag alpha male poseâ hands on hips, crotch foreward, you know the one, and you know the body language that goes with it.
He thinks heâs superior. Now this guy is the biggest of them all.
Massive biceps, raging six pack, the works. The Hulk would probaby do a double take at this dudes size.
And little me is not intimidated in the least.
I learned to fight at a very young age, especially men larger than me. I know if things turns south i can take him no problem. A few hits here and there and heâs out for the count.
He starts walking towards me, and i step forward too. He may be alpha male, but he just crossed an Alpha Female who doesnt back down from a challenge.
Strike one.
He looks over at his pals and says,
âOhhhh, the little ladyâs going to jump, is she?â And he just sneers down at me, all arrogance and misplaced confidence.
Strike two.
âTell you what, sweetheart.â Ohhh he did not just say that. âYou jump, weâll let you push us.â
Three strikes heâs out he just made the biggest mistake of his life.
I just grin and go âokâ and turn and immediately dive over the edge. Im soaring through the air, enjoying the fall. I turn just in time to see his face go from đ to đ§
I smack down into the water grinning. Originally the plan was the swim across the river and meet up with my family, but i am cashing in this bet. Except thereâs only one way to get back up to that cliff from here
I scale the side of the cliff with the rope and I can hear them chatting nervously up top
I pop up over the edge and prop myself up on the ledge with the sweetest, most steel-lined smile I can manage and say, âwhoâs next?â
So Alpha laughs and stands at the edge as I haul myself up. Heâs laughing and assuring his buddies heâll be back in a second cause I wont really do it andâ
I straight arm him and he goes flying
He flails and plunges over the edge, shrieking in the most high pitched, terrified shriek Ive ever heard a dude bro make. He sputters to the surface and gapes up at me as I grin like a hellion down at him. I turn to the rest of his jerk buddies and smile.
Oddly enough they all jumped of their own accord
I couldnât find him falling off a cliff, but hereâs everyoneâs reactions after he fell, which I imagine are like the guys after you pushed their leader.
I KNEW THE INDIANA JONES GIFS WERE COMING IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME
