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Happy Pride Month!! 🏳️‍🌈

I wanted to do a master study of Frank Dicksee's "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" and I thought Merlin and Arthur would be the perfect characters for it. The original depicts a knight enchanted with a beautiful magical lady, so I chose to show Arthur enchanted with his sorcerer.

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Merlin stood in the front row, his hands clenched at his sides as the sunlight caught the cold gold of the newly exchanged rings.

His mind drifted back months to a quiet night in Arthur's chambers, the air thick with the scent of candle wax.

Arthur had cornered him then, pacing the stone floor as he spoke of Guinevere and debated whether to bring their courtship into the scrutiny of the public eye. The King’s brow had been knitted with a conflict he couldn't quite resolve as he sat down; he knew Gwen still looked for Lancelot in the shadows of the courtyard. Merlin had swallowed his own heart to tell Arthur she loved him most, a lie and a truth tangled together in his throat.

Then Arthur had looked Merlin directly in the eye and, with raw vulnerability, asked, "Do you think I'm making a mistake?" He didn't wait for an answer before looking back at the flames. “I’m terrified that I’m discarding other options… choices I haven't quite dared to name. What if I’m missing the one life I actually wanted because I’m too cowardly to say it out loud?”

Merlin had almost said it then. Everything about the magic and the love that was his soul's bedrock. But he was a creature built for sacrifice. He knew Gwen was destined for the crown, and so he had buried his agony and promised Arthur she would be a magnificent Queen.

Now, the cheers in the hall were deafening as the ceremony concluded, yet Merlin’s heart felt like a sinking stone. Arthur’s gaze sought him out across the distance, a look of silent questioning still flickering behind the royal mask. Merlin looked to the new Queen, then, only to find her staring at another point in the crowd, her attention fixed elsewhere.

A visceral, hollow regret enveloped him, a shadow that would never leave his body for as long as he remained to serve, longer still.

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