Take a little love where you can

OK ANON, I totally forgot about this because when I first read it I was out of town with only mobile, but I am not gonna let this go unanswered, no siree, because I have feelings and ideas.

So basically in my dreamworld, the Twilight of the Gods dealio ALSO never happens, so they aren’t on the run with her. I see Amarice becoming their live-in babysitter; she’s already got the bratty teen vibe going on, making her be the babysitter works juuuust fiiine. Joxer WANTS to be Eve’s babysitter but Gabrielle and Xena never leave her with just him because they are worrywarts and want someone who can fight and protect Eve there at all times. Joxer and Amarice basically become squabbling siblings. Xena gives them a stern lecture on proper infant care and Gabrielle reminds her that they’ve both literally thrown babies so maybe they don’t have a lot of room to judge.

Imagine Eve saying her first word, “mama,” and it occurring to Gabrielle that she wants to have a special name too but they can’t both be mama, that would be confusing, maybe she could be mom instead? And meanwhile imagine that people keep friggin’ asking who Eve’s dad is and Gabrielle and Xena both always saying it’s Gabrielle. So when they leave Eve with Joxer for a bit to go do their fighting, Xena says Gabrielle can be “dad” and keeps being a SUPER LITTLE SHIT ABOUT IT - Gabrielle says no way at first because she thinks its dumb to pretend that they’re anything but two moms - so they start coming up with more and more heinous “names Eve could call you” for each other while they’re kicking ass. When they get back, Gabrielle fusses over Eve and an always oblivious Joxer says “Awww you’re such a good dad!” and then Eve calls Gabrielle “dada.” Xena’s all OH CRAP and a little panicky - all like I’m sure we can teach her to stop saying that, aw man, I was just kidding - but Gabrielle just kind of laughs and says it’s grown on her. Then Joxer calls them Xemom and Dadrielle and they groan and Gabrielle punches his shoulder entirely too hard.

Or Ares starting off watching Eve with sinister, potential-new-Chosen intent, but Dite catches him at it and says nu-uh, with parents as in love as that she’s totally going to be MY Chosen, so they start both trying to be the favorite Aunt/Uncle when Xena and Gabrielle are away or asleep and Ares’ entire plot is derailed by this competition. At some point they come upon Ares and Dite totally hamming it up trying to get Eve to laugh and bribing her with gifts and Xena and Gabrielle are VERY PERPLEXED.

Or because I’m a garbage sucker for tropes, Amarice is supposed to be looking after Eve while Xena and Gabrielle are off seeing a play for Gabrielle’s birthday, but she wants to meet up with Arman instead, so she ditched Eve with Joxer. Amarice figures since Xena and Gabrielle aren’t even involved in anything dangerous at the moment it will be fine, but some bandit or another attacks and Joxer has to save the day alone and HE DOES! He’s so proud! But he doesn’t tell Xena and Gabrielle about it because he doesn’t want to get Amarice in trouble and it’s a pseudo-sibling bonding moment for them (Xena totally figures it out anyway).

Or Xena and Gabrielle taking Eve to meet Gabrielle’s family and having to explain just how Eve was conceived. Xena being really miffed that they don’t believe them, but refusing to admit it, so she starts bringing up more and more ridiculous stuff from their pasts that she assumes they already believe and finding out they think it’s all hogwash, even after Hope and the Destroyer. Xena and Gabrielle then being comically obsessed with something happening while they are there to PROVE that they aren’t full of it but for once in their life NOTHING HAPPENS NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING THEY FORGET TO ENJOY THE PEACE AND QUIET.

Why Writers Are the Worst Procrastinators - Megan McArdle - The Atlantic

The Why Writing Is So Hard field of psychology is very interesting to me.

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