secrets

There wasn’t a subject in the entire world that could have taken Mallory off of the young male’s mind. It was as if she’d dug into his head herself and made a permanent spot to stay. She was mysterious and definitely posed as one of the biggest challenges he’d ever had to face, yet he didn’t view her as one at all. There were no goals when it came to achieving a solid friendship with the fiery brunette – he didn’t want anything out of it, yet he wanted everything. She was different from every other girl that walked the halls of the high school he knew all too well and different felt better than anything he’d ever known. The corners of his lips tugged outward the moment the bell sounded loudly around him. He was more than excited to have someone new over for dinner, but even more excited to spend time with her that wasn’t rushed or in the middle of a crowd – privacy could work wonders.

Phone out as he walked, Jaxon shot Mallory a quick text, though he instantly slid his phone into his pocket the moment he spotted the small framed female by his trust. His long-legged strides slowed as he neared her, brows rising. “One ride in my truck and you’re already waiting for me after school,” he teased, reaching for his keys in order to unlock the door before pulling it open for her. “And you never told me whether or not you wanted ice cream before dinner.” His mother’s cooking along side his father’s grilling was some of the best food he’d ever had, but there was nothing wrong with making a routine out of things – Dairy Queen being the start of it all. 

As complicated and secretive as she was, Jaxon didn’t seem to mind. He saw it as a good thing, her being extremely confusing compared to the other girls in their school. Though Mallory didn’t understand his logic, she found it comforting in a way. People always told her she was too blunt or too quiet, too this or too that, and she wasn’t going to change who she was for anyone. The appearance and attitude she had was something she’d built up over the years to purposely push people away and make it seem as if she wanted nothing to do with them. While it wasn’t what she wanted at all, it was what she needed. Jax seemed to slip through the cracks of her wall, and she didn’t know how she ultimately felt about that. She was no longer trying to push him away and she accepted the fact he wasn’t going anywhere, but she was in some form, terrified. His safety was now important to her and she still held a guilt over Katie’s death... she couldn’t imagine being the cause for another friend to die. Besides the obvious danger to it all, Mal didn’t know if he’d stick around. Sure, he said he would, but he could change his mind or her father would drop the news they needed to relocate again. There would never be a calm thought that they’d be okay, and she knew Jax didn’t deserve that.

As soon as the bell rung after the last class of the day, she hurried out of the double doors in front of the school and straight to Jaxon’s truck. She felt awkward -- out of place, as if she was in a position she wasn’t supposed to be in and in some form, that was accurate. Her father had been against the idea of her going over to his house, and at first, wouldn’t allow it. The last thing Mallory wanted in the world was for her father to be angry with her, and potentially be the last thing they ever spoke to each other if one of them happened to die. Eventually, though, he eased up and let her go but wanted her back early. He wanted to meet Jaxon and his parents, but Mallory had pushed for that to happen another day -- a day far down the road.

Jaxon: And what's the reason?

Jaxon: Really, or are you just saying that cause it seems like the right thing to say?

Mallory: If you're so set on spending time with me, then we're not gonna do your typical things.

Jaxon: Haven't had a reason not to.

Jaxon: She's a nice lady and I think she's happy to have another female in the house.

Mallory: Well, now you do.

   the danger is

Jaxon: Care to explain, or is that asking too much?

Jaxon: It was more of my moms idea than mine, but if you want to decline, I'll tell her.

Mallory: You're always doing the same things, doing what's expected of you.

Jaxon: I would like to think I'm always loose.

Jaxon: Yeah, you okay with BBQ chicken? My dad is a big griller.

Mallory: You and your cookie cutter life is definitely not as "loose" as you think it is.

Jaxon: Clever, not. Seriously, let loose a little.

Jaxon: Round two in the truck. Ice cream before dinner?

Mallory: You're one to speak.

Jaxon: Chance it, good things happen sometimes.

Jaxon: Want to catch a ride or should I pick you up at your place?

Mallory: I don't agree with that. See what I did there?

Jaxon: Agreeing with me won't kill you, I promise.

Mallory: It might -- probably shouldn't chance it.

Jaxon: I'm not half as bad as I seem.

Jaxon: I can handle that. Nothing wrong with confidence.

Mallory: Uh huh.

Jaxon: Guess you don't hate me as much as you originally thought, right?

Jaxon: Damn, confident much?

Mallory: I guess not.

Jaxon: Honestly? Sounds exactly like something you would do.

Jaxon: That's fine. You can stay over as long as you need to, it'll be an A. ;P

Mallory: Yeah, I'm surprised I actually wrote my number down at all.

Jaxon: Mallory?

Jaxon: Just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.. And to know if you've started on that paper yet?

Mallory: What, think I'd give you the wrong number?

              No warning could have pushed him away as the pair rode side by side in his blacked out Ford. Nothing beat seeing her smile, yet that was a bit of information he’d found safer to keep to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was backtrack on the gain he’d made, but he figured the task would be easier said than done. She was a difficult girl with confusing reasonings as to why they couldn’t be friends, but it was as if she’d given up on trying to scare him away and had finally accepted the fact that he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t going to run just because she told him to, especially since she hadn’t ever seemed so sure of herself. From the moment they’d first met, he’d saw the look in her eyes – the look of regret, but maybe he’d been seeing things. He’d never been good at reading people and Mallory was no different. 

              For once, her voice wasn’t harsh, but instead, light. “Maybe I’m a little busy checking out the scenery,” he shrugged, “you should keep your eyes on the road too.” If she’d caught him staring, that had to mean she was looking at him too, right? Whether she was staring or not, he’d never know, but it was probably better that way. If he knew or even thought she was genuinely interested, he’d spend the entire night thinking about their time together and that was the last thing he needed to wrap his head around. Disappointment filled his stomach as she pointed to a house on their left, his truck coming to a slow and steady stop before he put the truck into park. He already knew he wouldn’t be meeting her father and he assumed she wouldn’t stick around long at all. Nervous and almost worried it was the last time they’d actually be close without pissing the other off, Jaxon sighed, finally able to stare at the girl head on. “If you ever need a ride, I could give you a lift? It’s on the way for me,” he shrugged, truly meaning the offer. Besides, driving alone got boring more often than not and the company would be nice. 

                 As she looked at him, Mal wondered if he really would only settle for being friends. Most people didn’t push that hard to stop at a simple friendship. He had clearly stated how different she was from everyone, and how he was uninterested in any of them -- maybe that was another thing that made her different. Would it be inappropriate to warn him not to fall in love with her? Probably, as neither of them would be dying at the end of everything like in A Walk to Remember... as beautiful as that movie was. He needed to keep a distance at all times, as hard as that would be for her to keep up with. She refused to fall victim to getting her hopes up to have them crushed by someone who didn’t deserve to have that small power over her. There was too much thinking going into it, and she figured he would want to settle for a friendship -- her being complicated. Mallory was not a prize to be won, and she refused to make it seem like that... even if she thought having a boyfriend sounded like a glorious thing. Dangerous and totally not logical, in general, she hated feeling alone. Maybe she didn’t need a significant other to feel that way, but she’d never had one and she didn’t want to look back to be the virgin all through out her life. She wanted to live, and maybe Jaxon did too... especially with all the expectations on his shoulders.