Let's go lesbians

This scene is the greatest thing.  Sure, he’s snarking about poisoning Potter, but he doesn’t.  This is the Potions Master of Hogwarts, a man so brilliant he was re-writing his textbook at 16 years of age.  He wouldn’t just run out of Veritaserum.  So here he is, lying through his teeth to the woman who at this point runs the school, has the backing of the Ministry, and could probably get him fired (or far worse) in a heartbeat, all to protect Lily’s son, and he comes up with a clever, witty line to deflect suspicion while he does it.  He then believably denies understanding Harry’s cryptic message, yet understands it perfectly and goes to warn Dumbledore as soon as he’s free of Umbridge.

My favorite part about this scene is that it also contrasts Snape with Umbridge and provides the reader with some further insight into how Snape operates (i.e the incongruity between what he says and what he often does and how he can be more bark than actual bite). In book four, Veritaserum is first mentioned when Snape threatens to slip some into Harry’s pumpkin juice when he suspicions him as being the one stealing from his potions storeroom. Importantly, while Snape may threaten it, he never actually does it. 

Imagine that you have purchased your first chocolate frog and you are very excited about the wizard card. And lucky- you got Severus Snape… and he’s like:

Someone: you can't hear pictures

Me: The next person that says something mean about Snape is going to have to fight me.

McGonagall: What is wrong with you?

for the last time,