𑣲 Mal’

The courtyard was noiser than usual for your adequate sized castle. Your dad, the king, had to deal with rumors making their way, even reaching to other kingdoms. To be frank, your father was impoverished.

Resources were cutting short. The people tried their best but crops were growing harder and harder to maintain. The soil was drying out, land rotten. In distress, your father lowered the taxes for the peasants and serfs, resulting in his circumstances turning beggarly. He couldn't pay your workers what he used to, having to shorten his expenses. And even if he paid them with land, they wanted nothing to do with it as it was slowly dying, overfilling with bugs and other pests. You could not get behind what was causing all this atrocity and had nothing left to do other than watch the once so promising knights leave the kingdom behind. The crown they fought for was long forgotten, as higher offers from enemies’ kingdoms clouded their senses. It was odd, the sudden change you mean. Knights were supposedly bound to their kingdom, known for their loyalty. The shortage in staff was making the kingdom appear weaker in front of your enemy's eyes, thus an inaguration for knights, aspiring as well as expertise, was held.

Your dad was among the kind kings, which, to no surprise, was a short percentage of kings. He could tell the kingdom was dealing with struggles beyond his control and wanted to help his people out by showing mercy. But he soon would be known as the father of the poverty-stricken kingdom.

He deserved the best of protection by knights that are willing to give it, no matter the circumstances.

Not everyone could be a knight. Knights were enduring, brave and mighty. If it weren’t for them, a kingdom would be fragile and constantly teared down by the enemy.

It was hard to see anything from your balcony as the armor of the knights reflected a white light from the sun. You glared down, squinting your eyes and tried looking at all the new knights coming through the gate, varying from smaller frames to bigger ones. Also differing from the way they walked and held themselves.

You were getting bored by hearing all the noble officers and menial servants talk about today as if it were the Second Coming, saving the kingdom in times of war, sin, and far beyond. You could roll your eyes just thinking about it. How would some new knights be of help when it comes to plague, pestering animals and somehow ever sickening land?

It was concerning you a lot more than you let yourself know. You bit at the dead skin on your lower lip, nibbling it. It was a habit you should say your farewells to but simply couldn’t.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a new knight entering through the gate. You were immediately surprised by the way he held himself. He wasn’t of a promising height but still managed to appear of great strength. His armor was different than the other ones. It looked more worn and as if a person with a decade of experience wore it. A dark red symbol plastered on the slightly rusted steel.

You always found knights to be boring and quite simply…simple. It was the mass that made knights feared. A single knight couldn’t have that much power, could he?

He moved with a certainty and in such a gentlemanly manner it made you stand upright. Not lounging over your balcony anymore but wanting to appear lady like, in return.

And just as he should’ve followed the script like the other knights before him, disappearing into the castle underneath you, he caught you by surprise.

His visor was carelessly up, showing a glimmer of his face. He looked up at you. Not stopping in his tracks, not once blinking or even faltering.

You on the other hand behaved the complete opposite. Your breath caught in your throat at his sudden move. Your eyes widened and chest heaved slightly.

How did he notice you when the other knights blatantly ignored your presence and…how did he have such breathtaking eyes. Pretty beyond the prettiest poems you heard. Those eyes alone were the poem. Poetic in a sense that you know you would get lost writing about them. You would probably rush to fit every word into it and would end up writing a mess.

Even from afar, you were sure of the fact that his eyes were pretty are the prettiest you have ever seen in your yet short life line.

As his eyes parted away from yours you caught yourself wanting him to notice you more. He must! After all you’re the princess he ought to protect.

You hurriedly made your way down. You should’ve been greeting the newly recruited knights a long time ago but didn’t feel like dealing with it..that was until now.

You picked up parts of your gown so you could be fast without the fear of tripping on the long fabric of the skirt.

Down the narrow round staircase and into the main hall. You flattened your skirt down and switched to walking more decently.

Scanning the room, it didn’t take you long to find him. To your surprise his visor was down again. What a tragedy.

Breathing in once more you made your way over to him. And once you stood in front of your target, his demeanor changed. He bowed down to you and for some odd reason you couldn’t stop your cheeks from stinging. He was acting very formal

“Pleasure making aquaintance. I hope your way was a short one?” you could slap yourself for rushing into this.

He moved his body a bit as he lifted his head from where it previously rested between your thighs.

His bloodshot eyes pleadingly looked up at you. You really loved his eyes, the colour of them and the way they couldn’t hide any emotion from you.

He looked down from your face to the blunt in your hand before looking at you again.

And of course you didn't hesitate to hand him the blunt, a soft smile on your lips.

The stress that had built up while he was touring desperately needed to be built off. And how‘s that better done than with Jay's favourite way of relaxing: Smoking weed and letting the effects take a toll on his body while being with his favourite person, and not to mention with his head between said person's thighs. He could drown in the comfort of it.

"Ye're so pretty" he breathed out after he took another hit of the blunt, exhaling the smoke. It tingled your face, which made you scrunch up your nose in a teasing manner. He then slowly let his face plop down, pressing it back between your thighs.

Reaching his arm out towards you, he offered you the blunt and smirked drowsily, drunk in the feeling of love... and weed. You smiled at that but couldn't stop this onee weird feeling from emerging.

You, just like many other girls, always have been dealing with self doubt in your teens and the weed didn't help with that, not only making you sentimental but also extremely aware in a way that was amplifying your insecurity that somehow still lingered from that time even nowadays. It wasn’t gone, it was only less noticeable than back then.

Your hand found his and you took the blunt from him.

"Ah, you're just saying that", your other hand went down and into his thick black hair, absentmindedly playing with it as you tried to push your thoughts away. Finally, you took a hit.

"What?” he looked seriously confused by that and slightly raised his head. "’Ey now, wait a second. I'm not just saying that, love. I mean have ya looked in the fuckin' mirror? You're a stunna." You didn’t answer, only snorted. Right..

You have looked in the mirror. In fact, you have spent your whole life looking in the mirror, noticing every blemish, the way your acne would always flare up from time to time, picking at your skin and the excess skin you didn’t like. Your face annoyed you in every way possible.

Jay tried to abruptly sit up, but had to take his time due to the state he was in. His head was spinning but his focus on you didn't falter. He pushed himself up with the help of his arms and hovered over your legs.

"What's gotten you so quiet?", he lightly nudged your leg with his hand, brows scrunching up in disbelief.

"You can't just drop stuff like that and expect me to react all normal," you retorted, suddenly irritated as to why he turned it into a big deal when it's really not and you just wanted to spend some quality time with your boyfriend after he was gone for so long.

At that his confusion only grew stronger, he tilted his head and blinked at you. You sighed, feeling how your face grew hotter. Even after being together for so long, his eye contact never fails to make you fluster. You took a deep breath, just to make sure you do not forget to breathe. You huffed out a laugh, overwhelmed by his intense eyes that so desperately tried to figure you out, even in this state of distortion.

"Jay, stop looking at me like that... makes me all embarrassed... Don't want you to see me this up close.." you quickly slurred your words out. "Stop talking shit, Prinny. Seriously, what are you talking about?” As you didn’t answer once again he continued,

“Come on now what's up?"

Now you felt proper embarrassed, "It's nothing,, forget it, im just being dramatic as usual." A nervous laugh left your lips but you could see that you didn’t quite convince him with that.

Jay squinted his eyes and sat up beside your legs, voice suddenly defensive, "Nah, stop that, it's not just nutt'n," he leaned down, making sure you're really hearing him. "Gimme that, love" he took hold of your hand and took the blunt out of your fingers, that lazily held it. He stumped it out on the ashtray on the table in front of the couch and turned his attention back to you,

"What's keeping your head busy like that, eh? I don't want you worrying about yer looks or me seeing something I might not like. That won't happen, alright? I fuckin adore everything about you. I know nutt’n's perfect but you get pretty damn close to me idea of perfect."

You looked down, feeling embarrassed about having to still get approval from your boyfriend about your looks. You usually feel good about yourself but some days it’s hard to hold onto this belief, as past events fill your head, reminding you of how people used to treat you before, because of the way you looked. 

"I love it when you text me n ask silly questions, shite, I always look forward to seeing you after every show.

You occupy my mind more than anytin' else, Ye're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Breathtaking, otherworldly even. "

"When I see you smile I want to do everything in me power to make you smile like that again. I bet you would be the reason the God of War calls for armistice. And you talking yerself down like that?

Even just thinking negative thoughts about you? I ain't allowing it. Simple as that."

You could tell he really meant every word he said, how his pace picked up when he talked, how his eyes lit up, the passion he talks with... he must really be in love with you.

You teasingly tucked at his hair: "Now you're putting it on thick". He chuckled.

"Well, I mean it.”

You looked down, his statement made you even more flustered, mind slowly processing what he meant. In the corner of your eyes you saw him shuffle towards you.

"You're so...fucking perfect and if you can't see it, let me help you see it." He noticed how shy you've become and decided to take advantage of that. 

"Please look at me when I'm talking to you."

His pointer finger and thumb reached for your jaw, making you look up at him.

You pouted slightly, brows furrowing and cheeks reddening. It wasn't fair. He knew exactly the effect he had on you and could clearly see in what state you were in.

"And how would you do that?", you retorted, tone snazzy and eyes fierce. It was annoying, how he could still make you blush like that after all this time together. You were gonna blame it on the weed anyway. The corner of his lips lifted into his infamous smirk.

“You’ll see” 

He cupped your face into his hands and closed the distance as he placed a sweet kiss on your temple. “I love your cute forehead” “You’re joking, it’s so big.” “Just means I can plant more kisses,” followed by him kissing all over your forehead, covering it with quick pecks. “‘n your nose.” You scrunched your nose in response. “I don’t like it and you know that.” “I like it a lot.” He let go of one side of your face and traced the curve of your nose with his pointer finger. “I wish ye could see yerself like how I see ya.” He placed another quick kiss on the tip of your nose before returning his hand back to the side of your face., squeezing your cheeks with a gentle force. “ey don’t even get me started on your cheeks.” He pinched your cheeks and let out a breathy laugh. “So fuckin’ cute” He carresed your cheeks with his hand. Looking down and now focusing on your neck he couldn’t stifle his smile.  “Might be my fav part of yours.”

You wanted to snort but were interrupted by the warm feeling of Jay's lips on your neck. You sighed at the contact, not really expecting this even though his pattern was obvious.

He took his sweet time on your neck, hands reaching for yours and intertwining his fingers with yours. He found your sweet spot, attacking it with kisses and nibbles.

The reaction it elicited was almost immediate and very noticeable, making him smile into the kiss. You felt your breath speed up. You could swear you almost forgot how to breathe for a minute there.

The oxygen was thinning in your body, your back involuntary arching, knees drawing up slightly and brushing against his. Your hand went up into his beautiful hair, lightly pulling at it as he didn’t stop. You slightly scratched the back of his head with your nails.

He so was enjoying the effect he was having on you. Intentionally torturing the most sensitive spot of your neck with kisses, switching up from kissing to sucking. 

You knew it would turn into a nasty purple hickey. Hell, you’d be lucky if you only end up with one. With a force not intended to harm you he bit down on your neck, teeth slightly sinking in before he leaned away and licked over it, as if to soothe the spot. Every little part of your neck had the attention of his lips at least once. His eyes wandered over you like you were some kind of art piece, his left hand didn’t hold your hand anymore but moved over to your neck and traced over the most prominent bite mark, eyes darkening with lust (or weed). He was about to lean in again, completely lost in pampering your neck with kisses before your now small voice interrupted, “Jay” you exhaled “Wait…I..” Still having difficulty breathing, let alone letting oxygen flow into your cells you could only manage short words. At this he slightly pulled away and chuckled “Fuckin’ hell…you need to breathe, love.” You took some deep breaths in and saw his expression change. “Shite..i didn’t hurt ya, right?” Quickly shaking your head, you answered: “No, no, not at all. I actually…uhm.. quite enjoyed it.” In fact so much that you almost passed out from the lack of oxygen. You raised your arm and covered your face, cheeks growing hotter every second. “ugh..I’m so embarrassed I ruined it.” “Prinny, calm down. Nothing wrong with having a breathtaking boyfriend.” You closed your eyes and used the arm that previously covered your face to slap his chest to which he responded in a sarcastic “owh” going off about how he doesn’t deserve this treatment. Only as you exhaled and looked up into his beautiful eyes he paused, his eyes not glinting with mischief anymore. “But seriously it’s not yer fault, it’s your body infused with THC n processing things different than usual thus reacting like this.” You pouted, seeing right through his shenanigans. “You’re making fun of me..” “Oh, no, I’d be too frightened to tease you.” Rolling your eyes at the silly Star Wars reference he made, you huffed out a small laugh,

“I can’t believe you just made that reference.”

He moved down as you talked, looking up at your face as he retorted a small “why not?” to which you quickly found an answer “it was unexpected.” You pretended that seeing him like that didn’t do anything to you. His hand followed the curve of your body down to your thighs, returning to his original position as he caressed them. “Star Wars is boss. I mean, the story line, the love story, the message, the political aspects and how I got to watch it with you in the cinema.” He ranted as he still looked at your thighs, not stopping to caress them. “And another thing I love about you.” “Everything I need’s between those thighs,” he continued. Jay always talked highly about your thighs, actually about every little part of yours, but sometimes you still don’t feel enough, not pretty enough, not good enough for him and are scared of him finding another girl that wasn’t as complaining and as self-condemned as you. You remembered how self conscious you have been about your thighs, feeling as though they look weird in short skirts, yet also remembering Jay’s fondness towards skirts on you.

So hearing Jay’s admiration really warmed your heart.

He was probably over exaggerating for the most of it but you loved his reassuring words nonetheless. 

He knew when you needed them most and always took every opportunity to say them to you. 

As he drowsily drew trivial patterns on your thighs, he was making you shiver slightly. 

Leaning in he lifted your (his) shirt a bit and softly kissed your thighs, working his way from the base down to your knees. 

“So pretty,” he breathed out. Kissing his way up to the top again and starting to kiss inwards.

You let out a shaky breath and sat up, using your arms to support your weight. 

He continued with his teasing kisses, resulting in you letting your head fall backwards, eyes closing. 

You felt his breath warming up your thighs. And just like your thighs, your stomach was warming up, too.

Just as he was getting closer he stopped himself and looked up at you, quickly finding validation in the way you crumbled under his touch. 

Confused as to why he stopped, your eyes opened and head leaned forward to meet his gaze. 

He smiled at your puzzled expression.

“Why’d you stop?”  

“Don’t wanna overwhelm you, with the weed and all…Wanna roll up another one?” he sneakily changed  the topic.

You nodded,  “Please.” His hand brushed one last time over your thigh before leaning towards the small table, picking up the components. 

You huffed and fell back into the couch, turning to the side to be able to look at him. 

You couldn’t lie, you were a bit disappointed but knew in the end he was right. Going any further in the state you were in could really overwhelm you sometimes. 

Watching his hands move as they rolled up another blunt you thought about how grateful you are for all of this. 

Having someone dealing with your insecurities, looking past your blemishes and seeing you as something angelic, like he does, wasn’t natural and definitely not something you saw in past relationships.

All the happier you were that he did it so effortlessly, somehow even managing a clear head with the weed intoxication. 

You also knew that you probably shouldn’t take more as you both spend your whole evening smoking blunts. 

But one more wouldn’t make a difference now anyway, right? You could swear you already felt the effects wearing off. 

He lit the blunt and the fire sparked up his still red eyes. Then turning towards you, he took a hit and french inhaled the smoke. He took another hit, this time exhaling some rings. 

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Alright, show off.. will you also share or hog it all for yourself?”

Instead of replying he moved closer to you, his eyes not leaving yours. 

He was hovering over you and inhaled once more. Jay moved his hand that didn’t hold the blunt to hold your chin between his pointer and thumb. 

He tapped his thumb against your chin, signaling you to open your mouth. You complied, lightly opening it to which he exhaled the smoke into your mouth, before then lowering his lips down and developing the shotgun into a kiss.. 

You returned the kiss and could taste the smoke on your tastebuds.

He pulled away after the transfer of smoke was successful and no one was coughing. You exhaled and smiled at how sweet he was. 

“I really like you..even if you’re teasing me for most of the time.” 

He giggled “I really like you too,” he imitated your wording. 

“After all, yer me girl.” 

“And yer me boy” you replicated his accent.

“Hah, funny, that.” 

You giggled and leaned forward, taking a hit from the blunt that was still in his hand. 

You let go and exhaled the smoke into his face, like he, at first, did to you. He shook his head in disbelief and chuckled. 

Jay proceeded to take one last hit. He leaned his head back and pulled off some last tricks before flicking off the excess ashes and putting the blunt down on the ashtray.

“You know, I meant everything I said today. Every lil word. I couldn’t be any more made up. You’re very dear to me. Always have been.” 

A part of you wanted to disagree, say something negative about yourself disguised as a joke like you normally would do, but as you wanted to open your mouth you saw Jay moving in closer. 

He didn't let you utter even one negative word as he showered your face in kisses before then suddenly collapsed on top of you. “

“What..Get off me!” 

“Nahh..” he muffled into your neck, “need you close right now”. 

You awoke with a gasp. Breathing heavily before managing to calm down. You noticed your blanket scrunched up at the end of the bed. Did you kick in your sleep again? Your eyes landed on your door and you saw how the moon's reflection mixed with the shadow of the trees created a mysterious pattern on the door. You tried to ignore the beaming light that was almost too bright for it to be only the moon, you wanted to go back to your dream and let sleep take you again, but to no avail.

As much as you adored the moon the light was slowly annoying you. You didn't know why you woke up but you surely can't go to sleep again. Might as well stay up and read a book or watch your fav tv show. You rubbed your eyes. The whole town was probably sleeping right now, with only yourself awake. You decided to sit up and walk towards your window. In front of your window you opened your curtains all the way. Why let darkness corrupt your room when the beauty of the moon can highlight it instead?

Your heartbeat stopped and quickened shortly after, you not only saw the big hollow moon but…something lurking in the shadows. It couldn't be, could it? Your hand hooked onto the curtain. Sharp eyes piercing right through yours. You tried to scream but it got caught in your throat. You blinked and what you thought you had seen disappeared. It’s not unusual for you to imagine things that aren’t there in this state of just waking up. You sometimes imagined spiders on your bed or something standing near your door only to be assured that it was just your brain playing tricks on you.

But this time it felt more real. You tried to control your breathing as you let the curtains fall back into place. Another surprise awaited you as you turned around. What awaited you was a person that eerily resembled your boyfriend Jay? But he was on tour right now, it couldn’t be.. “Jay?”, your voice was still rough, not being exactly awake right now, confusion just fully crowded your mind. Something about him seemed off.

His eyes were glinting with something that seemed almost inhuman. “You should go back to sleep.” Your eyebrows furrowed. What was happening right now? “Jay, what the fuck..? You’re on tour. In another country”, he took a step closer, hand reaching for your cheek. Caressing it with a gentle touch you just oh so well know, like he always used to do when assuring you everything will be okay.

His hand was colder than usual, almost ghostly. “‘Missed you..”, he dodged your question which was unusual for him. However, you couldn’t help but let yourself be drawn to him. “Yeah, I mean I missed you too but what are you…”, as you gazed into his eyes you completely forgot what you wanted to ask,..why you even were confused.

The noxious smell of metal, his typical tobacco smell and something musky and earthly that reminded you of the smell of dirt after it rained was filling your nostrils. His eyes were so beautiful. You could get lost in the depth of them for hours.

He took another step closer and engulfed you in a hug. The smell now completely taking over your senses, your head was spinning, you felt like you were reaching a high, like taking ecstasy. Feelings like deep emotional warmth and overall comfort for your boyfriend surged through you. In this moment you couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone more than your him.

Your questions about his whereabouts disappeared. His breath could be heard more intensely than before. His grip felt different but still offered you comfort nonetheless. You inhaled deeply and held onto him with a force you didn’t know you had in you. He leaned back to search for your eyes and opened his mouth. “You would want to help me no matter what..right?”

It was embarrassing how frantically you nodded. Of course, what kind of question was that? He pleadingly looked down to you, eyes switching from your eyes to your lips. He smiled apologetically and just now you noticed his sharp teeth. “I really want to bite you.”

He said this with such serious desperation it kind of freaked you out. The room was filled with the sound of your heartbeat, that felt unbearingly loud in your head, igniting a smirk from the person opposite to you. He chuckled. “What’s wrong?”

“I…uhm what do you mean?” “I’m gonna be gentle”, he promised. He cautiously pushed your hair to the side. His hand that was previously on your cheek dropped to your jaw. He extended his thumb to caress your neck. Eyes glinting with something you interpreted as adoration and he leaned down, slowly but steadily opening his mouth and placed a bittersweet kiss on your neck, followed by one, two and three more, that trailed down your neckbones. His hands travelled down to your waist and he softly held onto you.

His kisses turned more passionate. Jay opened his mouth wider and grazed your sensitive skin with his oddly sharp teeth. He took his sweet time but eventually bit down. You gasped and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The sensation was completely new to you, as you were normally the one biting Jay all over his body and not the other way around.

You couldn't understand why but the pain drew pleasure out of you. You felt yourself get a bit dizzy and your breathing speeding up once again. He opened his mouth again and properly bit down. It was turning painful to a point you let out a yelp “Ouch..”.

He took a last suck before he turned back to his senses and pulled away. “Oh, so sorry love..It just tasted so fuckin' delightful." You felt a warm liquid on your neck. He drew blood. Said blood was slowly dripping down your neck, dangerously close to your nightwear.

Before the beautiful fabric could get stained, he moved his head and, from the bottom to the source, collected your blood. Both his hands returned to the side of your face. Jay brought his face closer to yours and kissed you oh so tenderly. You could taste your own blood on his ice cold lips.

As he whispered sweet nothings you couldn't comprehend anything his lips left as you were hard of hearing, your left ear suddenly ringing annoyingly. You turned your head slightly to look at your mirror but were greeted with your reflection only. Strange.

The effects from earlier were slowly wearing off and terror was a predominant emotion. It doesn't make any sense. None of what was happening made any sense. You turned your head back to look at Jay's familiar face, but something was off. The whole night something had been off.

Your eyes drifted to the moon's reflection at the door behind him. Again you could only see your shadow depicted at the door. Your dizziness didn't wear off but only worsened. As your vision turned blurry you could only remember one thing. His beautiful eyes.

The sunshine was tickling your face as you woke up. You slowly opened your eyes and noticed a fresh wind coming through your open window., your curtains dancing around. You hated how much you enjoyed those weird dreams even if they are creeping you out every time.

Good thing it was only a dream, if your boyfriend really was a vampire he couldn't be fed with your blood only since you have an iron deficiency and need the small amount of blood you have all for yourself. You giggled at the thought.