Ok, this is SUCH a deep cut of a joke
It feels like it was ripped right out of the depths of my memories and shoved into my conscious mind.
See this line right here?
“Attention, please: A six-year-old boy is floating away in a balloon”
THAT REALLY FUCKING HAPPENED. AND IT GOT ON TO NATIONAL NEWS IN 2009.
Proof:
In October of 2009, a couple released a big helium balloon from their backyard and claimed their six year old son was stuck inside it. What ensued was a media frenzy to follow the path of this balloon and ensure the kid got safely rescued. In the end it was a huge hoax, the kid was fine in their attic and the officials found nothing in the balloon.
But this is too goddamn specific to not have been a reference to this obscure, stupid hoax out of my hometown. Props to whoever on the RadioTVSolutions team remembered that event (or came up with that off the dome) because it was complete mental whiplash for me.

















