(malfoy voice)

one time, i forgot my sweater at home and i tried to hint at my crush if he would give me his sweater because i was too shy to ask him. so i said to him, “man i’m so cold. i wish i had a sweater” and then he laughed at me and said, “sucks to be you.”

what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like “oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post-necromancy, it’s some pretty heavy stuff”

“what do you mean you’ve never learned FIREBALL, it’s a CLASSIC” “idk I’m not really into evocations.” “how can you not be into ANY evocations?” “well, it’s kind of dad magic, isn’t it?”

@captainswank

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW DRACO MALFOY IS JUST A HUGE FUCKING MEME YOU CANT TELL ME HOGWARTS STUDENTS DIDNT SAY “my father will hear about this” OR “potter” ON A DAILY BASIS WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENED I JUST WONT ALLOW IT

I’m picturing instead of “thanks Obama” everyone just mutters “POTTER” every time something small goes wrong. Everyone loses their shit when Harry one day spills ink of himself and mutters “POTTER”

#do I think about this?!? only every day of my LIFE!!!!#after the Buckbeak Incident the whole of hogwarts walks around dramatically yelling ‘I’M DYING!!!’ at every minor inconvenience#harry and ron in the common room gesturing to their unfinished assignments: 'I’M DYING!!! LOOK AT ME!!! IT’S KILLED ME’ (via candlewinds)