i know i had a poem to write
replayed it in my head on the drive home but found nothing when the car powered down.
i know i had a love for you
felt it in myself with every passing moment but found nothing when the going got tough.


@theartofmadeline
Acquired Stardust

oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Not today Justin

blake kathryn

JVL

titsay
taylor price
Claire Keane

★

izzy's playlists!
sheepfilms

⁂

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

roma★
Show & Tell
AnasAbdin

seen from Australia
seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia
seen from Argentina

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia

seen from Indonesia

seen from Taiwan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Georgia
seen from Canada

seen from United Kingdom

seen from India
seen from United States
@maladaptv
i know i had a poem to write
replayed it in my head on the drive home but found nothing when the car powered down.
i know i had a love for you
felt it in myself with every passing moment but found nothing when the going got tough.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the urge to fix every collar of every boys shirt, and the fear of knowing it could mean anything more to them
you can substitute certainty with fleeting passion. you can substitute connection with reused phrases. you can substitute vulnerability with movie scenes.
i could go to starbucks, and call myself babe in the driveway. tomato and mozzarella on focaccia bread. strawberry acai lemonade refresher.
a lemonade at the friendly fox. a burger in a culver’s parking lot.
complete disorientation.
i could hit up that mediterranean place and eat less than half of the bowl.
an argument about intention. it lasts three days.
fried sushi that burns my tongue.
accusation. the way it felt to meet her.
thai food i keep in the fridge and eat the next day. taro tea and strawberry popping boba.
rising every morning into tears.
the pit in my stomach when i don’t say it back.
mcdonald’s, and wine.
rebirth.
lucky strikes.
i don’t know where you’ve gone. don’t know how you could hate yourself into the position you’re in. let’s be three, holding hands in the creek. find bugs, and snakes, and scrape our knees. you’re afraid. i’m right here. unmoving.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
in youth cowboy boots, i think there’s a life i could live. she wouldn’t look like you, because she isn’t. maybe we babysit, and i find someone to read my favorite bedtime stories to. maybe we leave hand in hand, and we wonder, but we know it’s enough for us. we’ll go home and pretend to try for one anyway.
he wasn’t anything to fit into. it was walking into a house. it was sitting down in the low lamp light. chet baker, or maybe frank ocean on a record player. it was 70°. rug under my feet, shoes off at the door. there was no key needed. no puzzle to solve, no riddles. it was coming home.
it’s the warmest, softest embrace. it was the easiest thing i’ve ever done, loving him.
i think it’s him. i wonder how long i could pretend it’s you. wonder if i could ever rebrand the poetry, slip the letters into another envelope. i wonder if i could beat myself blue until i fit your shape, but it’s him. it’s always going to be him.
i make pasta, open the window and light a candle. i take another hit. stare into Greek & Roman Myths and wonder how long it /should/ take me to turn a page. i wish you’d take me out.
i wish a lot of things.
i love you cowboy, i love you sailor.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i couldn’t pay her off. i don’t try to talk. decades teach me it’s too late. how does she apologize? could i mirror it? i’d have to disappear.
i cannot live with her. too loud, too incessant. i cannot make the floorboards creak. i cannot paint the walls. i’m immobile like i haven’t been in years and i remember the stagnant life i used to live. the silent existence i was allowed. i cannot eat, cannot drink. i cannot come down from the tower. she dictates the land untouched. i cannot breathe too loud. i don’t breathe at all.
teeth. i’ve never had that dream. i live it now, the loss of control. watching as it all falls apart, helpless. the taste of blood.
“spirituality twelve”
aren’t we all? aren’t we every age? a conglomerate. you only know how to be a toddler when you are a toddler, but we know every stage. we fall back onto so many years, into so many versions of ourselves. i catch childhood in the way i paste letters onto posterboards. garage sale. sloppy, and uneven, but finished. beautiful, and fit for the fridge! i catch myself at thirteen often lately. my attitude with my mother - the only person who can earn it with a look, or a sigh. i see her, twenty something, when Brown Eyed Girl plays in my car. she’s only 10 holding her ballet slippers.
“spiritually twelve.” spiritually ourselves. a mosiac of experience. a quilt of time passed.
“spiritually twelve.” no… grown. grown and annoying <3
not butterflies. a fire. contained, and warm, and bright. you give life.
you’re the key, a gift given by the gods to me. something i am disallowed. something i’ve grown to need. i love you, darling.
my everything, and my only dream. my end goal, and the home for my soul. my bearing. my bright, and endless sky. i love you, superbloom. i love you.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i watch movies that don’t fill the screen and i can feel the air in your caravan. i can hear the vcr whir.
i wonder if i could be new again.
am i rotted? am i withered? as you turn to fresh fruits. unbruised they are, i’m battered. could i be reborn? could i be that shaky-legged fawn? am i an old dog? your lame mare? is my innocence gone? i’m afraid. i’m afraid. i am sorry for my age.