Something about The Living Furnace fucks me up sooo bad literally its like. "Yeahh we just supply random people from the streets and pressure them into furthering our society and grasp on magic !! If we didnt word this in such a strange way, we wouldnt be able to do this. If we didnt keep it all vague, nobody would be hurt (maybe they would? Who would care about a few people going missing? Necessary evils!!! Be happy its not your daughter or sister! Its just a stranger! If youre The Stranger, youre not the target audience?) Think of the Possibilities and Benefits ! That you wouldnt ever have access too. These resources are being shoved to those who fight for us. Though not the dirty ones. Or those ones. Goodness not those ones!"
Doctor's genuine obliviousness toward the Living Furnace, likely assumed it was a plague method that'd only need to be in use once. In their mind it was a furnace that Consumed with the sacrifice of a mouth. Only fueled by coal and wood and such. Regular things!
Could never imagine it a blistering body strung by famine and dirty blood dripping from tubes. The blood would be mixed with plague, as it both has Actual Disease in it and the method its made is a plague method!!! The end product being a potion / medicine. Magical !
Doctor cannot see the furnaces as people who are suffering, or even former people. At first. Sees it as a corpse. They've seen plenty of corpses. This one shouldnt phase them. But when it moves, they Realize !! Oh that Thing - Being ? Is alive. The sudden realization that Oh we're doing this to People -- having dehumanized all who weren't like them in the past !! They have a ton of survivors guilt after this.
The biggest realization is . How the body is splayed. The head limp. You can only see their body. It is neutered, like them. But in no way is it like them, for Doctor would never be placed in a position like - Like that !! Doctor didn't deserve such a thing.
Why did Doctor not deserve such a thing, but this stranger did?
They thought their line of work was guiltless. That they needn't worry about any suffering as a doctor. For, they took a hypocritical oath!!! Hoo hoo. But really, they thought they were Good. Better than others who shared their views, at the very least. They're not an extremist !! Theyre just. Silent. While others suffer. While charred arms reach out to them, they step on the fingers, because they believe these are just corpses. There wasnt a reason to feel bad at the time. It was just another body to count.
Back then, they did not need to think so much. They almost want to go back to that time. Where they could just be ignorant. Assume their inherent goodness, because They were a Field Medic ! A doctor, too ! Healing the sick and wounded.
They thought those who Were like them. Were just a little off-course. Yes, these people were Dirty, but they couldn't help it ! Doctor Pitied them ! Treated them far kinder than they should've! Honestly those people should be grateful ! And sure. Doctor hated the soldiers from East Virim, but they didn't reject them as patients. Even allowed them to make small talk. While others soldiers could just speak freely - Those from East Virim. They must wait their turn, lest they think themselves better than they really are. That genuine belief in the back of Doctor's mind is what Really sets them off about Shameika.
Because Shameika naturally leads . And he is kind. And he is Good. And he's all these things Doctor didnt want to believe an East Virim soldier could be. And God, is he Loud. And commanding. But so sensitive, and Sweet. And Doctor . Doesnt like that. They dont know why. This should be a good thing. But it breaks the idea of what theyve always thought This People should be.
And so they get to know Shameika. Not as a group, but as a person. And they have a very bitter relationship still. They will never be on good terms. I have more to say about this but I rambled long enough. Doctor gets to apologize to Shameika for being bigoted eventually, but it takes a. Very long time. And Shameika does not forgive them. And Doctor is Constantly unlearning their mental biases.
Also back to the furnace. Fuuuck. Ive been sketching up designs for it. I think the furnace will be a significant part in doctors book, but the furnace gets its own story. I wanna be crazy about this forever...
