ย ย ย she remembers some of their switches so vividly. she had served her, & served her well, becoming not just her most trusted handmaiden but also an organic extension of Padmรฉ herself. she had learn to rely on not just her Queenโs judgment, but her own as her observations had often been just as valuable if perhaps a bit more bluntedย than her much more diplomatic counterpart. they had become a pair to be reckoned with, even if that process had occasionally been painful for the both of them.ย
ย ย ย she hadโฆ lost outย on opportunities to explore her individual identity, & she knew too much of her was probably wrapped up in the other to the point that she didnโt know where Padmรฉ ended & Sabรฉย began. Tsabin was a ghost who barely existed in more than a memory anymore. Sabรฉ would have to admit she preferred it this way; now that the two of them are back in proximity, it was only natural theyโd have fallen back into similar routines & patterns without having to speak of it & she had grieved the loss of this on Tatooine like a limb.ย
ย ย ย ย โ Iโm alone, โ Sabรฉ says, barely restraining the smallest of smirks as she sinks down to sit by the other, absently continuing to check her over until sheโs sure everything is in place & in order. Padmรฉ looksโฆ frazzledย in a way she hasnโt seen her in a long, long time. at least, not since the heavy brocades of the Queenโs wardrobe had hung from her shoulders. it made sense, given the tragedy with Cordรฉ, butโฆ something told her there was more.ย
ย ย ย ย โ I donโt, โ Sabรฉ says after a momentโs deliberation, finding it to be mostly true; she HADNโTย thought of the young boy much in the years since the Trade Federationโs blockade & subsequent invasion, though she hadย often thought of the Jedi Qui-Gon. his sacrifice had enabled them to overcome the barricade, & topple a Sith, though it had cost the Jedi his life. Naboo had honored him accordingly & Sabรฉ felt her thoughts turn to his strength in sacrifice nearly as often as they did to her Queenโs for the same qualities. two sides of the same coin, perhaps.ย
ย ย ย she could not say that the young boy had left any more of an impression, thought she knew that Padmรฉโs time in his home on Tatooine with him & his mother had left quite an impact, & had influenced her desire to free the slaves there.ย โ in truth, I suppose I had quite forgotten him until you mentioned him. why? โ
it was so easy to be in the presence of her most beloved handmaiden - the dearest friend she had ever and would everย have. it was also easy to forget the issue that had drawn the once-queen to the apartment in the first place, but she pinched herself in the leg to stop herself from being too distracted by the comfort and warmth that Sabรฉ offered. with her fingers wound together over her thighs, sitting tall and proper even now that she was not the head of state, Padmรฉ thought long and hard about the reason for her visit.ย
for a long moment she wanted to close the distance, to tuck herself into the comfort of the otherโs arms on the bed and forget her woes, but no. they had decisions to make and responsibilities to answer.ย โ iโm glad itโs just you. i admit, this is a matter for my closest companion alone. โ there was a hint of playfulness in the senatorโs tone as she settled into their dynamic.ย โ his mother was part of the inspiration for my work against slavery on Tatooine and the Outer Rim, because when he was taken as a padawan she was forced to remain a slave on the planet. most thoughts iโve had of him have been in passing when i think of her to be truthful, but after the attempts on my life, the Senate and the Jedi Council recommended i have protection. he was the assigned Jedi. โย
allowing time for the other to absorb the information, padmรฉ sighed out a breath of air and cast her eyes over at her double, before she decided just to be blunt.ย โ now you have the backstory, you get to know the strange part. he-he told me heโs been in love with me since he was a boy, Sabรฉ, and that he wants to disobey the Jedi Council and marry me. it was so out of the blue iโm still feeling some whiplash from it. iโve never seen him as anything but the little boy who liked to fix things and race pods on Tatooine. brotherly, perhaps, but no more. certainly not as a potential match. โ
in truth Padmรฉ had never seen herself marrying at all, too dedicated to her work. she and Sabรฉ, arm in arm over the many years together.ย
โ to be truthful, i canโt say i can shake the image of him as a child out of my mind. but he-he wasnโt exactly pleasedย when i said no. said that i was letting the Council influence my decision. i donโt want to hurt him, but he seems quite intent on the idea that we are soulbound. destined in some way, as is his role in life. that iโm supposed to play the role of his other half. that he plans to protect me from all harm. i donโt quite know what to do, and i donโt particularly want to keep being shot at in a Senate that has become so corrupt it is impossible to understand any longer. so i suppose iโm coming to you for advice, for your perspective. for the words of my most cherished to help me choose my next steps more wisely. โ