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@mahsamarauder
James: *Walks in and sees everything is dark*
Sirius: *Turns on the lights*
Remus, Lily and Peter: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
James: *starts crying*
Remus: Mate, we really didn’t do much…
James: No No! It’s just… it was so dark! I couldn’t see and … I stubbed my little toe *cries harder*
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My dearest Lily!
You know… as I grew up I saw different stages of different relationships. I was so blind when it came to you though, I made a fool of myself. I hurt you unintentionally… or maybe it was intentional. Honestly, now that it’s been a year since then, I can admit to you that I don’t know if I actually wanted to hurt your for rejecting me, or hurt him for being who he was. I didn’t know he would say that but… anyway, the point is I hurt you. I’ve left you alone this year, as you may have noticed. And I wanted to tell you that I will never bother you again, that’s my birthday gift to you. And I think it’s better than all the other ones I’ve gotten you over the years.
Love you always, James.
Sirius: The first person to throw up was definitely traumatized
Marlene:…
Marlene: Sirius I’m really worried about you…
Lily: guys does anyone know why koalas are not considered beard?
Remus: *states matter of factly* because they’re marsupials.
Sirius: that is soooooo wrong
James: yeah! It’s because they don’t have the right koala-fications.
James: I don’t hate you.
James: I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Severus:…
Severus: *annoyed* Why are you talking to me Potter?
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Sirius: Wow! You look pretty strong.
Remus:
Sirius: I bet you can pick me up easily.
Remus: Of course I-
Remus: Are you flirting with me…?
James: I hope so…
In honor of her birthday:
*Mcgonagall hears a loud crash and wakes up*
Mcgonagall: Lumos
James and Remus: Happy birthday Minnie!
Peter: *gives her a wrapped box* we got you something!
Mcgonagall: *opens it and sees a quil* a quil?
Sirius: whenever you say detention, the quil will write the detention slip for you. Since half that is our fault we thought we’d make you this.
*All boys smiling idiots*
Mcgonagall:…thank you *smiles and tears up because no student has ever given her a birthday gift before*
If James and Lily got divorced and had a schedule for sharing Sirius:
Lily: James my week isn’t finished yet!
James: Lily you had him for a whole week!
Lily: I have two days left!
James: NO YOU DONT
Lily: YES I DO
Sirius sitting in the middle: I WANNA GO HOME!! *cries*
Remus in the corner: what have you two done to him?
James: *on the phone with Lily* I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack
James: And I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my internet history
James: I’m not building a bomb!
James: I’m just curious
Lily:…
Lily: I’m worried about your curiosity…
Sirius: *setting down a card* Seven of hearts
Remus: *setting down an uno card* +5
James: *setting down another card excitedly* Jolteon I choose you!
Peter:…
Peter: What the fuck are you idiots playing?!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sirius: I hate you!
Remus: yeah I hate me too!
*uncomfortable silence*
Sirius: Rem, love, we’ve talked about this…
*Sirius gets stabbed*
James: Just try to keep all of your blood INSIDE your body.
Sirius: Bitch, what the hell do you think I’m doing?
*if James and Lily had twins, at the doctor’s office*
James: Lily healers are good too.
Lily: I wanna see my baby! *glare*
Doctor: congratulations, both babies are doing well.
James: both? As in two? Back up! We inly discussed having one!
Lily: James honey calm down.
James: Calm down? There is two of them in there!!!
I only eat food so that my coffee has something to land on during the day
—Remus Lupin at some point in his life
Remus: so this morning, when I woke up my eyes wouldn’t stop watering. So I went to the healer to make sure that it’s just allergies, but fun plot twist, It was depression.
James: Rem no—
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Remus: Hey Sirius, what’s under the sink in the bathroom?
Sirius:…nothing?
Remus: just like my control over the wolf haha
Sirius: Are you ok?
Remus: nope and neither is my sleep schedule. *snickers and walks away*
James: I have 6 legs, 8 hands and 10 heads. What am I?
Sirius: I don’t know. What?
James: A liar! *starts laughting*
Sirius: *laugh along*
Remus and Lily: *faceplam*
Peter: *rolls his eyes*