Your Security Sucks

Rex gently laid their sleeping sister into bed at House Fortemps, pulling the covers over her to trap her warmth against her. That’s how they left her as they went to the court house.

When asked for a champion to fight for Tataru, Rex opened their mouth but Mahri’s voice beat them. “Wouldn’t call myself a champion, but hells take me if I didn’t fight for my boss.”

They looked to the open doorway to the outside, where Mahri stood. She wasn’t in the clothing they’d last seen her in, the jacket and the pants. She wore red boots with dark blue jeans, with a silvery shirt. The shirt was unbuttoned, exposing bra and stomach to everyone around. Rex would only realize she was wearing fingerless gloves again after, when they could see her hands out of her pockets.

She strode up to the defendant’s pit, putting an overly familiar and casual hand on Tataru’s hat. Mahri drawled, “Besides, the Warrior of Light should save their strength.” She winked at Rex, a smirking. “Let your sellsword do it, ser.”

Before they could give any kind of response, the Ishgardian court officials approved and everything moved too quickly, with Alphinaud and Mahri in the pit below. Rex could see Mahri subtly move in front of Alphinaud, presenting herself as the first line of defense (which wasn’t surprising, considering Alphinaud was more of a healer).

What was surprising was when Mahri began to sing as she moved with her rapier. She charged the axe-wielding warrior, singing loudly, “I’m the-” She swiped at him with her blade before sidestepping his swing. “Sh- be quiet. I’ve been on a low hater diet.” Mahri ducked down to a near squat, dodging a horizontal swing. “‘Cause I just woke up and I feel some type of way-” She put her focus along the hilt of her rapier, using her free hand to catch the arm of the warrior and swing up into the air.

Rex felt their breath catch in their chest, watching Mahri stand on the warrior’s shoulders. “Watch me do, watch me! Wha-da-do, watch me!” She nimbly, impossibly moved her feet to avoid the warrior’s hands, keeping her perch with the ease of a dancer. She spread her arms out to the audience, grinning, “Lemme hear you sing, hey, hey, heeeeeey!” Nobody returned her call and she shrugged, kicking the warrior in the side of his head as she backflipped off of him and behind him. It was like watching a dragoon fight a dragon, Rex realized with a start. The same agile nature and usage of the enemy’s body as a platform to strike from. 

Mahri landed on her feet, singing still, “I ain't saying I'm the besteses-” She got a good hit, hitting him with a fiery slash. She gestured to herself with her free hand, “But I got nice curves, nice breasteses.” She sidestepped the lightning spell the mage threw at her and Rex realized her plan when their eyes flicked to look at Alphinaud. 

He was mumbling quietly, magic glowing around him as his Carbuncle traced the lines of magic around him to form some kind of arcanima rune. The two of them could not have planned this prior, this had to be improvised.

Rex looked back to Mahri as she continued to rhymically dodge attacks from both the warrior and the mage. “And I ain’t a teacher, but the lesson is-” She held up her hand at an oncoming fireball, the fire swirling into a heavily condensed orb into her hand. “If you wonder how I make it look effortless-” She tossed the ball of condensed fire into the air and hit it with her rapier, throwing it back at the mage while spinning out of the way of the warrior’s axe. “The answer to your question is that I just woke up and I feel some kind of way.”

“Mahri, move!” Alphinaud shouted and she leapt out of the corner she had coaxed the warrior and the mage into. White stars began to fall onto the warrior and the mage, lighting them up in the dark courtroom. Rex watched as Mahri stood beside him and held a hand out to him, fiery aether swirling from her into the invisible vortex around Alphinaud. The white stars began to glow with white fire as well as their natural starlight, bringing warrior and mage to their knees.