You Are You S. H. A.

FEB 9, 2018, SATURDAY

She suddenly stopped reading, looked up at me and asked, “What is astronomer?” She was ever so curious about the universe and it’s birth. Sometimes I feel pride in her thoughts. Her interstellar magnitude of thinking. She isn’t aware of the neighboring countries, but she sure wants to know about space. Maybe it’s the visual driven curiosity that leads her to ask me about stars. Maybe she just wants to learn about things that she can physically see. She once told me that she can see the stars clearly in her hometown, and here, she isn’t allowed to go outside at night to even see if it exists.

So this whole thing started when I brought Kubra one of my old fact books from my shelf, because she told me that she was interested in stars, planets and the universe. We did a bit of reading, where she reads out to me, and asks me for the meaning of words she didn’t know. We also noted down those ‘big’ words on a sheet of paper. When finished one chapter, she gave me a look that said, “This is boring”.

After putting the book away, we did a sentence building activity. We played Guess Who. It’s a board game where you try to figure out who the person is by describing their facial features. She was pretty good at word knowledge, but was weak in sentence formation. She learnt new words like ‘moustache’, ‘bald’ and ‘beard’. We played three successful rounds and one rather funny round full of rule-breaking.

After the game, we did some word play. I explained to her the difference between there and their, hear and here, write and right, etc. We wrote them down in sentences again, just to make sure that she understood.

We had lots of other fun stuff to do, but the time was up for the day. Our 2 hours were done. I gave her a little homework, to write down 5 jokes for me in English. I knew that she’d do that, as she mentioned once that she loves her best friend’s jokes. She went back with a smile and was waving at me constantly till she reached her hostel entrance.

FEB 3, 2018, SUNDAY

She was nervous, and so was I. She looked at me like I was a teacher. Strict, scary, and probably one that has a ruler in her bag. I wonder why are they called rulers? Is it because it reminds you of the rules that have to be followed? I had too many thoughts running in my mind. What should I ask her? What should I tell her? I was nervous.

Before I move further with what happened, let me give you a little background on what’s happening here. I’ve been selected as one of the few ‘big sisters’ for the Big Sister Program, a Non-Profit Organization which is a mentorship initiative for underprivileged young girls run by 2 powerful girl-trepreneurs, Anannya and Disha.

I was meeting my little sister that day. I started with the basics. I asked her name. Kubra asked mine. We then shared birthdays and favourite colours. I found out that she loves arts and crafts, and her favourite subject is English. She was very reserved and was answering only in single words. I wanted to try an ice-breaking exercise. I asked her if she wanted to do some drawing. 

We then started a Draw my Life to get to know each other better. We asked each other questions, and answered them in drawing and writing form. This way, I’d have an idea about her English speaking and writing skills. We spoke about family, friends, hometowns, and food. We then learned that both of us like dancing in the rain. She then started talking about the mischief at the hostel and the fun things the girls do together. The awkward silences and the distance at which we were sitting, both reduced. 

Kubra started telling me things without me asking. She told me that one day, she wants to travel to Singapore. I drew her a Merlion and explained to her what it was. She was being very inquisitive about my work and office once she found out that I have an office of my own. Throughout the session, we also made a list of things we wanted to do together through the mentorship. I also found out that she loves taking selfies.

I was there.

I could smell the lemongrass incense burn into ashes; they knew I loved that smell. I remember the day we asked a hotel janitor for the name of the disinfectant he used to mop the floor, it smelled of lemongrass. I can also smell my Calvin Klein perfume. My sister is nearby. We always fought for this perfume.

I could hear small sniffles, people crying, sobbing. At a distance, I could hear ladies chant in Sanskrit, Hindi; it was faint.

I could hear men. Men with deep voices trying to be as quiet as possible, whispering, “I’m sorry for your loss..”, and then talking about legalities.

I could feel someone touching my face every now and then, adjusting my hair, fidgeting with my clothes. My mother always told me to stay dressed, no matter what the occasion. She made sure I looked pretty even for this one.

I heard a bunch of people whispering about me. I recognized most of their voices. I could hear them sharing about my school days and college days. I always wanted my school and college friends to meet one day; I didn’t know that day would be today.

Slowly, but suddenly, I can start to see blurs. Blurred people in the form of blurred silhouettes clad in white clothes. I could see, but my eyes weren’t open. My vision started to get a little clear. I was beginning to feel a rush of energy through my body. Something persuaded me to get up, to stand up.  I tried sitting up. It was difficult, but I did.

I sat there on the cold floor, the Air Conditioning was on 21 degrees, just the way my sister liked it. Our father always joked that we should get a new house just so that all 4 of us get separate rooms with different temperature settings.

No one noticed me sitting. How could I have woken up in the first place? I looked back down to where I was lying down, and there I was. My eyes were closed. My mother was sitting beside me, giving fake smiles to people who gave her condolences. My father was along with the other men, talking to them in baritone. And my sister is probably in the kitchen, baking cupcakes. She always had a thing for baking whenever she was stressed or upset. I could smell wisps of warm cinnamon and vanilla now and then.

I felt very cold, so I stood up, and started walking towards the balcony. It was warm and well shaded by the peepal tree that grew from the bungalow next door. There was no one at the balcony, or so I thought. There was an unusual light, an aura; which converted itself into a blurred human figure. As she slowly became more and more visible, I recognized her.

She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen! Her short hair was in soft brown curls. Her eyes were warm and inviting. And her smile was as beautiful as hug. Her persona was radiating warmth and elegance. I knew this woman.

“Hi, sunshine!”, she said. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

I didn’t know what to say. I haven’t met her since I was 6, when she passed away. But ever since then, she was always in my memory, I never stopped thinking about her. She was my aunt. Tears streamed down from my eyes.

“Why are you crying? You haven’t lost the game!”, she exclaimed. When I was 4, my aunt and I used to play a game. If I was close to losing, I’d cry and create a havoc, only to make her let me win. She still knew how to make me smile.

She gave me a tight hug which made me feel warm and fuzzy. She saw me look at her with a perplexed expression. She asked me “What happened, sunshine?”

I looked into her deep brown eyes. I’ve always wanted to ask her something.. Would this be the right time? I asked her, “Were you there when…”

“When you got your 10th and 12th exam results?

When you got into college?

When you were stressed out about your reviews and thesis?

When you had your first pop-up?

I was with you all along! I was watching every footstep, every fall, every little mistake and every success! I’m so proud of you sunshine!”

Her eyes glistened with pride, and mine with tears. She held my hand and brought me back into the room. The number of people in the room has reduced. Only the close family members have stayed back.

“It’s getting a bit late, it’s time to go now; we have plenty of time to chat later. You can go say your goodbyes now.”, my aunt said.

I walk up to my mother, sit down beside her and give her a kiss on the cheek. She is still pink from the crying. Father used to pull her leg by telling her that she doesn’t need makeup. All she needed was to stand under the sun for 2 minutes, and she goes red.

I go to my father. He’s currently sitting all by himself browsing through pictures of me on my Instagram account, double tapping all of them. He smiles while doing so. I remember the day he asked me to teach him how to use Instagram. It was a two hour session full of laughs and re-explanations multiplied by hundred. He never got it in the first try, but he never stopped trying to understand. I give him a kiss on the cheek as well.

I walk into the kitchen to my sister. She’s the strong one in the family, I believe. She’s baking cinnamon cupcakes and lemon cupcakes; both of which I love. One thing I find weird about her, is that she never used to let me hug her. She thought it was weird to hug. She always used to run away making weird noises whenever I came to hug her. Then I started doing the same just to irritate her. I just smiled at her from a distance and wished to have hugged her properly one last time.

I came back to the hall, where my aunt was waiting for me. She held my hand and asked me, “Shall we?”.

I looked around the house, took it all in. The sofa with the ink stain, the floor with the broken tile, the mix-matched furniture, the brass swing, everything. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to. With final glances at my family, I nodded.

She took me to the balcony, and pointed to the sun. The light became bigger and brighter. It turned into a blinding white light, and it engulfed me.

          Every Indian traveler would've had at least one personal ‘experience’ in an annoying Indian flight. Well, mine was not so long ago..

          I was to go on a certain flight from Delhi to Chennai. As soon as I got into the terminal, everything was in light-speed. There was a cool gadget that was used to print the boarding passes, and the luggage was checked in in no time. One thing I did not expect was the super quick security check. Before I knew it, I located my gate number and was looking for ways to pass an hour and a half alone in an airport. 

          I grabbed a sandwich and an ice slush for lunch, and was entertained by the girl at the next table, giving loud relationship advice to her friend. I then walked around the terminal, sipping my slush, admiring the Swarovski showroom, and taking a couple of whiffs at the perfume stores.Time flies when you're alone and day dreaming every fifteen minutes. 

          When I heard my boarding announcement, I headed towards gate number 10. There was already a long line till the other end of the hall. Once I got in the back of the never ending queue, a large (in both size and number)  family stood behind me. The man is minding both the cabin luggage and his mother in a wheelchair; and the lady is holding on to her overly hyper-active girl, while adjusting her pungent jasmine flowers on her hair. The second child, a quiet, bald boy, just stands there reading the latest edition of Spiderman comics. 

          After a good fifteen minutes of my nose blocked with the smell of jasmine, I finally got into the shuttle bus that takes us to the aircraft. I got in safely and found my seat. A businessman type person had a seat next to mine. I thought he wouldn't be much trouble because he was sleeping already. Then I realized that my seat was in the perfect place for my new “experience”, just behind the overly hyper-active girl, and in front of the quiet boy. 

          This is a situation you cannot make up. 

         Once the flight took off, it’s normal for children to act excited, looking out of the window and observing everything becoming ant-sized. Its not normal when fully grown adults squeal in delight and wriggle their hands in excitement (I figured that out listening to the clinking of the glass bangles). The man sitting next to me was still fast asleep.

          After a few minutes of the flight, the air hostesses started selling snacks and drinks and other knickknacks. I bought myself a box of cashews and got a glass of water with it. Since I was getting a little bored, I whipped out my sketchbook and started drawing this pen doodle of this view i saw three days ago. 

          I spent the summer with my friends on an architecture tour. We visited Delhi, Ahmadabad, Jaipur, Chandigarh, Shimla and Manali; Manali being the last place we visited before coming back to Delhi. I fell asleep in the bus one afternoon... When i woke up, the view was priceless.. It was a large dried up tree trunk, with a few splinters and branches coming out of it, with a lovely background of mountains rolling with greenery and pine trees. That was one sight that I knew, was going to stay in my mind for a long time.

          So there I was, in a flight to a hot city, thinking of the cool breeze and mountains of where I was three days ago. I took out my pen, and started recreating my view on paper. The lovely trees, the beautiful sky, oh how I wish I could draw the cold wind in my sketchbook!

          When I was in my happy place, there was a sudden full stop on my imagery. It was like someone just whacked me back into reality. The quiet kid was not so quiet after all. He started kicking the back of my seat. I turned back and asked him politely to stop, and with a “Ok aunty, Sorry.” , he stopped, but not for long. Just after ten minutes, he starts his business again. Just when i started getting used to his nuisance, the overly-active girl decides to wake up and stand on her seat. She turns back and stares at my face, and obviously makes me feel uncomfortable. She asks her father (who’s sitting next to the son behind me), 

“Appa, what are you doing?”; 

“Appa, what is aunty drawing?”; 

“Appa, what are we going to eat for dinner?” ; 

“Appa! Appa! Appa!!!” 

..........And her mother sitting next to her, is least bothered. She herself is munching on some noisy plastic bag full of crunchy chips. The poor air-hostesses are trying to keep them quiet because this was an evening flight and many people were trying to catch some shut-eye. Isn't it just so funny how loud the smallest things get just when you want some peace and quiet? 

          In all this commotion, the businessman wakes up, notices my doodle, and calmly looks at it while I try to continue, looking out of the window every now and then. 

I finally finished it, and looked at it one last time to breathe in the imaginary freshness of the mountain air. 

I wanted to relive the moment as i closed my eyes,

I wanted to feel the mountains and the skies.

I took a deep breath in, and switched on my mind’s light,

And on the mountains, sprouted jasmines white!

They're growing in size, they're no more little flowers, 

The mountains started spinning, with their pungent smell’s powers!

In ten seconds time, the jasmines grew, oh my!

They are covering the mountains, they are covering the sky!

          I immediately called one of the air-hostesses for a glass of water and an aspirin, and I tried to sleep for a while. The air-hostesses are trying real hard to cope up with the hundred people pressing the calling button and asking for water, or just because. Just when i thought I could take a small nap, the bald kid at the back feels uneasy and his ears start hurting. He screams loud and his father is trying his best to shut him up. He starts vomiting into the barf bag and that could make anybody feel sick. An air-hostess immediately comes up to help the kid and gives him medicines and water. 

          The pilot finally announces our arrival to Chennai after a long flight that never seemed to end. That announcement made me smile for two reasons: one, I was going back home; and two, the flight was ending.

          I still had half an hour to kill... I took out my sketchbook again and tore a page off it. I decided to write a letter to the in-flight air-hostesses. I wrote:

To, The Crew,

          This is not a complaint letter, nor a note to crib about the food; this is just a note from a person to say thank you. I, being a frequent flyer in your airline, have noticed one quality which I greatly appreciate in your crew: Patience and Integrity. Your staff does not give fake plastic smiles. They help the customers without any “cosmetic over-concern”, which makes it more comfortable for us to listen to them. I love the air-hostesses’ hospitality, very straightforward and respectful. 

          Working in an airline which is frequently used by noisy and unruly customers calls for staff who are extremely patient and understanding. I sincerely apologize on behalf of all the children screaming and running around, and the uncles who small-talk in 100 decibels. 

          Thank you for bearing with us, and I wish for lesser troubling customers in your future flights. I had a great flight.

Thank you for your service.

From a well wishing customer.

Social changes have meant that urban life has altered from being one of necessity, to being focused mainly on recreation. In many new urban areas, there is no longer any reason to venture out of the preset boundaries of comfort.

In the past, in village settlements, dwelling locations were based on the availability of water, land, work, and other fundamentals. Specific places and timings for social activities were developed and naturally allotted. Men used to sit under large banyan trees in the evenings and discuss their crop health and trade situations. The women used to meet early in the morning by the public well.The social life depended wholly on necessities at that time.

Although there are so many places that still live in the past, most of them have advanced a whole lot of steps ahead. Urbanization has made everything a stone's throw away. The facilities provided by the  upcoming and the latest builders have made it very convenient for the people to get whatever they want, whenever they want.

Lately, uber apartment developments have come up with so many facilities that could benefit the users. Gyms, parks, swimming pools and community halls are just the beginning. Larger versions of apartment societies that appear like mini townships, also provide schools and child care facilities, along with markets and banks.

To add on to these lifestyles, are the extensive use of gadgets. From the simple hand iron to the ever-essential air conditioner, these items have been introduced to enhance the quality of life, and it clearly omitted the fact that this lifestyle tends to make the user lazy.

These gadgets have also played a major role in the social life of this generation. The digital age has redefined the culture of togetherness. Considering the fact that people live on the internet, through social media, they really don't bother much about about their actual social life as long as it gets them more likes.

So basically, the boundaries of social life has drastically changed. It has become virtually expanded, yet physically contracted. It's like in a community, people are put together, yet they are so far apart.

               This world is full of options. There are hundreds and thousands of brands selling one particular product; and maintaining a healthy competition between such brands requires proper work ethics. In this commercial rat race, everybody wants to be on the top of the economical pyramid. But to achieve such a status, the company has to have an instant connection to their product's users. For that to happen, there exists an entirely separate subdivision that is solely responsible for reaching out to the public, and they call themselves the advertising department. 

     It is their job to make sure that the product reaches the houses of every consumer possible. They have their own researches and methods of surveys to find out whatever the public is in demand of.They make it look extremely attractive and appealing through various  advertisements with the help of posters, videos, and audios.

     When it comes to the user's point of view, it gets really confusing to choose between multiple brands of the same product. Initially, as users, we might try out a few products and eventually figure out what suits us best. But to narrow down to that shortlist, we also require some thinking. To make that easier, the popular brands come up with creative advertisements that link our minds directly to the product. Over the years, there has been a sudden increase in one particular genre of advertisement used by these companies.

       Almost every advertisement has sexuality involved in it in one way or the other, from its subtlest form to its most erotic and controversial form. Every person always has an urge or a need to impress. To impress colleagues, friends, or lets just say - "their special someones". So when it comes to purchasing products for personal use, we would end up ordering for the deodorant that attracts skinny semi-nude models without even knowing what it smells like!

       Sex is involved, directly or indirectly, to lure the users to get them to buy the product, with the most appealing brand ambassador. When Parineeti and Imran talk about alphonsos not having a season anymore, on the other side, we have Katrina, seductively licking a drop of mango juice from her lips! If you compare the advertisements of these two popular juice brands, the first one seems more sensible and understandable than the second, but in the long run the second brand's sales tend to be better. Why? That is something we don't technically need to answer. This is just one example out of the many of those advertisement wars.

      It is a hard fact to digest, but sex sells. It is an extremely creative job for the advertising companies to sell their products, using sex in its most subtle forms (like attractive skin, hair and body structure), to avoid issues with the public, because there are still a lot of people who get deeply offended with the use of sex in advertising. They feel that "It is extremely unethical and immoral to advertise in this fashion. It is okay to have pretty ladies advertise for clothes and shoe brands, but what is the reason for a semi-nude woman to advertise for a car?" Well, the reason is very clear, it may sound immoral, but it is the truth.

     The mere word "SEX" causes people to think about it, let alone talk about it. The hype and overrated nature of sex is just being heavily exploited by almost every industry, and without a doubt, it sells! 

         Everyone has these moments in their lives when they want to have absolutely nothing on their minds and there is a sudden crave to escape from the reality of their lives. Escapism from this dreaded chaos can be achieved through many ways. One can escape into the fantasies and adventures of a well written novel, whereas one can also lay back on the couch and watch a movie. One of the most common modes of escapism that majority of the people follow, knowingly or unknowingly, is music.

         In college, we had an unexpected exercise that helped us eventually unwind all those caught up nerves. A substitute professor walked into our classroom and said "I want you to take out your phones and iPods". After hesitating for a while (as we weren't allowed to use mobiles in college, we thought it was a raid), we all took out our respective gadgets. She asked us to play our favorite song or the song that has been going on in our minds, and listen to it with our eyes closed. What was this woman doing? We were supposed to have an architectural design class; we had our sheets pinned to our drawing boards and pencils sharpened, but this lady wanted us to listen to music! So we had no choice but to listen to the cool new "substitution ma'm" and pull out our earphones.

         After a minute or so, when we students were really getting into the rhythm of our respective songs, she wrote on the board "Draw what you feel in the music."

         Confused at first, we didn't know what to draw! Someone tried drawing a rose, while listening to some romantic love song, some drawings had sketches of guitars, some had drawings of girls dancing, some had hearts all over it, and some had even skeletons drawn on their sheets! Then suddenly, the professor asked us all to drop our drawing instruments. She writes on the board "Non Figurative", and tells us not to use any existing object's figure, she told us to "Draw what you feel in the music, NOT what you listen in the song"

          Again we started with a whole new empty sheet of A2 sized paper. We closed our eyes again and felt the music, its beats, its harmony, its emotion. We started picking up our pencils, chalk pastels, paints and inks, and danced with the music. After the ten minute session, we had to discuss with the ones sitting next to us, the reason for the colours, the strokes and the patterns in our drawings. Even though we assumed that with non figurative drawing, we could have nothing in common, but we realized that almost everyone had the same style of drawing to various emotions of music.

        The strokes on our sheets followed a pattern because we were dancing to the beat of the music. The colours used in every student's sheet were different. Those listening to heavy metal had browns, dark greens and blacks, whereas those listening to happy peppy songs used a lot of yellows, blues, pinks and other bright and light colours.  The emotion of the music was found by the shapes and lines we used. Sharp pointy angles showed fast beats and loud colours depicted the loudness of the music. Soft curves meant calm and slow songs. Eventually we put it all together and found that the music we listen to has a major role in the style of our drawing.

        At the end of the activity, I had a whole new approach to concept derivation. I realized that the composition of shapes and colours actually was in harmony and was in sync. I never knew that we could derive a concept of a design without even thinking about it overnight! Music can do wonders! Just ten minutes of a single song on replay took me a long way!

          There is a great difference between seeing and watching. There are many things in this enormous planet that we just take for granted. We see them everyday. We might even use them everyday! But do we watch them? We hardly do! I bet you don't even know what order are the colours are on the official Google logo! Just noticing a thing's presence is seeing and valuing it is watching it. Every action we do, every thing we use, has some value and reason behind it's existence. My blog will feature a lot of such instances where u would go "I did NOT notice that!", or it'd just make you realize that you are just seeing, but not watching.

           Everyone would have had unexpected unforgettable experiences that happen on the most random ordinary days of their lives. I will be talking about some of my experiences and what I learnt from them, well, not spiritually, but with a quirky edge. Trying to look at the world with a quirky perspective is what makes everything original from person to person. A boring old table might be a priceless antique for one, and the carvings can inspire another for their next fall fashion line! My articles will feature the most un-thought of topics covering various fields of life, be it music, art, dance, news, research, history or even industries! The simple things in life, their deep stories and the purpose of its existence!