HEI DU.

Next time. Next time.

Those two words had an ability to be so insignificant or hold so much meaning, and though Noora wanted them to be completely insignificant—she knew they were the latter of the two. If William had his way, and if she allowed herself be pulled back into him, there would certainly be plenty of next times. But she was adamant on having things be on her terms, however, she wasn’t entirely sure if that was the smartest idea in the world. Even she knew she could be a bit too stubborn at times when she should let things happen naturally.

But this wasn’t like any of the other times.

William may not have been the most greatest of guys or chosen the right things in the past, but he’d never hurt her like this. He’d never let such a long amount of time draw out between them before attempting to make things right again. No matter how right they felt together, no matter what had happened between them in the past and what they’d been able to overcome and work through, letting him back in more or less scot-free just wasn’t something she could allow herself to do.

No matter how many memories standing here with him brought back of the time they’d spent together at a party much like this one. The time she’d first slept in his bed. The time she hadn’t denied that she didn’t like him. She couldn’t allow him to get away with hurting her because of a kiss and a few comforting words.

No matter how much her heart was wanting to do the complete opposite.

As he approached her, she forced her stature to straighten and her arms to cross over her chest. A short breath leaving her lips as her chin angled upwards ever so slightly. “There’s a lot of talk of next times there. What makes you so certain there’s going to be a next time? Especially one where it could come even close to being something that involves candles and dinner.” She asked, an eyebrow rising in question at him. “I wouldn’t be holding out for anything else, Willhelm, you’ve still got a long way to go and a lot of explaining to do before whatever happened last time, can ever happen again.”

A long moment passed before William responded with a gentle nod. Alright, he thought to himself, she obviously isn't satisfied with the explanation I’ve given her. How else could he explain himself? He hadn't held anything back from her, but she declared that he still had a lot of explaining to do. With a deep exhale, he turned to pour himself another glass of chocolate milk and downed the entirety of it in only one long swallow.

"Fine. I'll talk." He kept his arms at his sides and stared intently into Noora's eyes, amused at the visible effect he still had on her. "My dad and I had a fight. He started acting like an asshole, and when I called him out on it, he flipped his shit. He told me that nothing about me had changed. He said I was the same immature, selfish person I'd always been, and that if I wanted to keep my job with him, I'd have to live by his rules and do whatever he told me to." As he paused to catch his breath, he fidgeted a little, feeling uncomfortable to be talking about the incident for the first time since it had happened.

"So I said no, packed up my things, and left. And when I went to say goodbye to him, he was too busy in a business call to even notice that I was leaving." It shouldn't have been surprising, but it still shattered him. William had spent months impressing the man he'd never thought he'd actually have a relationship with, but when it came down to it, Mr. Magnusson simply wouldn't give him the time of day. "I bought a ticket to Oslo and didn't look back. And now I'm here." The last few words came out sounding more defeated than he'd intended them to, but then again, he did feel defeated.

"I know I wasn't good to you when we were in London, but never, not even for a second, did I stop loving or caring for you. It's fine if you don't believe me, or if that isn't good enough, but you should know the truth." She deserved the truth. "I still want to be together with you, and I understand if you need time. I'll wait however long it takes."

Usually crowds and parties didn’t affect Noora in the slightest but as the door closed and blocked out the majority of the noise from outside. She couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. The nerves of being around William were enough, but they’d be heightened with the thought of people watching them. It wasn’t a secret what had happened between them, when something vaguely gossip worthy happened it seemed to spread around Nissen like wildfire, and even though there were multiple rumours about what happened and why Noora was back, everyone knew they’d more or less broken up. But now that William was back? Noora couldn’t help but think about what might be going through people’s minds now. She hated it.

So being tucked away from people’s view, it was a welcome comfort and helped her nerves settle. Even if it was only slightly.

Her brows furrowed together as she tried to decipher William’s movements, her neck craning slightly to catch even a glimpse of what he was up to. But no matter how hard she tried, without moving closer or around him, it was impossible. Whatever he was doing there, he was intent on keeping it a secret to the very last minute.

It was frustrating not knowing what was going on.

But as he finally turned around and held out a glass full of chocolate milk, it was impossible for Noora to keep the smile from breaking across her lips. He was incredible. Here she was thinking of all these extravagant and over the top things he could of possibly done for her, but it turned out to only be a simple glass of chocolate milk. Something she couldn’t help but think was far better than any extravagant display he could of done, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit relived that it was something so simple. Simple things were all she cared about, they were easier to accept without feeling like there was some sort of catch to it.

Taking a step towards him, she took the glass from his outreached hand and shook her head. “Chocolate milk.” The smile was still evident upon her lips as her eyes glanced down to the milk before focusing back upon him. “This is what you wanted to show me—what you got me?” With another shake of her head, she took a sip before moving away from him and letting herself lean back against the bench. “Here I was thinking that I’d walk in and be faced with the place decked out in candles and food.” Her words matched the teasing his voice held as she took another sip before setting it down. “Chocolate milk was a lot better idea—but better than hot cocoa?” Her head tilted to the side as she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know about that, Willhelm.”

Jesus, he'd missed her smile. He'd missed being the cause of her smile. It took all self control to not close the space between them and kiss her senseless again, but he'd sworn to himself earlier that day that he wouldn't be the one to make a move again. It was up to Noora where they went from there, but he wouldn't stop trying to win back her heart. When she smiled at the stupid chocolate milk, he could physically feel himself fall in love with her all over again.

He thought about the first time she'd come to his apartment. It was another stupid party, and she looked so stunning in that blue shirt that he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her. And then she opened her mouth and surprised him by singing. If he had to pick a point where he'd fallen for her, it had to be then. Sitting across from her on the couch, he'd only been able to stare at her, struggling to take in all of the wonderful things that made up Noora Saetre. It was ironic that he was re-experiencing those feelings in a situation so similar.

"I'll get candles and food next time." William smirked, eyeing her as he took a sip of the chocolate milk. He knew that she appreciated the little things, but it wasn't a horrible idea. The majority of the population of girls at Nissen would go crazy for the opportunity to have a candlelit dinner with William Magnusson, but there was only one girl he was interested in. It amused him endlessly that she was also perhaps the only girl at Nissen that wouldn't care for a candlelit dinner.

He resisted the urge to correct her when she called him Willhelm, but he knew that would just be giving in. She knew that it pressed his buttons a little bit, and that was probably part of why she kept calling him by that silly nickname. "Yeah, but this chocolate milk is special. I had to mix the chocolate into the milk. Nobody else can say they had chocolate milk mixed by William Magnusson." He stepped closer to her, his eyes never leaving hers as he approached. "We can have hot cocoa next time. Promise."

As William’s focus turned away from her, Noora’s line of sight followed his. Focusing upon Eva’s figure as she downed what Noora could imagine would be the first of many drinks downed tonight, and by the looks of things she wasn’t going to be the one to make sure Eva didn’t over do it. Though it wasn’t exactly like that was the real reason behind her coming, even if making sure Eva was okay was usually a normal part of going out for Noora. Vilde or Sana would have to take over that role for tonight. A sigh left her lips as her fingers ran through her blonde locks, her head shaking slightly. “I could be doing a better job if you didn’t distract me.”

However as his attention turned back towards her, a single brow rose upwards. Both in regards to his words and because she could feel and see him going over every inch of her, even after being with him, his complete attention still made her feel moderately self-conscious. “Something—for me?” She inquired finally gathering herself up and pushing aside the itch to shift her weight once more under the weight of his eyes. “You didn’t even know I was coming for sure, how could there be something to show me.” A million possibilities ran through her mind, what could he possibly want to show her during what was meant to be welcome home party for him and what would he have done if she hadn’t shown up.

She didn’t exactly want to think about that, only tear inducing thoughts could come from that.

Though any further pressing was halted as his hand slipped into hers and he lead her through the mess of bodies, that only jostled her every so often, to the other side of the room. Focusing her eyes on the door, Noora didn’t even process that she hadn’t let her hand drop from his. Their hands interlocked were almost second nature when she was with him, nothing about it felt odd. It wasn’t until he gestured in that she finally clicked as she pulled her hand from his as she glanced in. “I’m not going to regret this am I?” Though she couldn’t help but answer her own question with a yes.

One way or another she knew she was going to regret stepping through the door. It would be just them, no one to interrupt them, no distractions other than the music and voices that would just break through the room’s walls. It caused the nerves in her to ignite. Stepping in more than likely could mean a repeat of the other night, him easily breaking through her strong and independent visage and her letting him in because everything about him felt completely right and because she missed everything about him.

Being in his arms the other night, feeling his touch, had been the first time in a long time that she had really felt alright. The first time she’d felt normal.

With one finally look back at him, she let her head shake before she stepped into the much quieter area. 

Would she regret it? He almost laughed out loud at the question. Knowing Noora, she’d go back to her apartment later that night and regret showing up at all. Watching her at a constant inner war with herself was as amusing as it was difficult. He hated watching her fight herself, but it wasn’t often that she gave in to what her heart desired and stopped listening to her brain. And sometimes, she looked so cute rejecting him that he couldn’t help but admire her for it.

He was a little surprised that she agreed to follow him, but he didn’t question it. Perhaps it was another lapse in judgement from her end, because they both knew that she was still being particularly nice to him after all that he’d done. Hopefully she’d begin to see soon just how much he was trying to prove to her that he was back for good and deserved another chance. Whether or not he did, in fact, deserve another chance was unlikely, but she had always seen the best parts of him --- parts that even he couldn’t see.

As they stepped into the kitchen area and the door behind them shut, the music blaring from the other room was muffled to a calm hum. He could still feel the vibrations from the speakers, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything, the vibrations and the beer he’d downed early were doing a pretty good job at calming his nerves. Looking over to observe the other, William let out a shaky breath before walking over to the refrigerator. “I didn’t know if you’d come. I got it just in case.”

He reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a jug of chocolate milk, making sure to stand in the way so as to obscure her view. He wanted it to be a surprise. His next step was retrieving two glasses from a drawer, and once he had done so, he poured them both a decent glass full before turning around and handing her one.

“Better than hot cocoa,” he teased, taking a sip from his glass.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when Noora caught William’s figure moving through the crowd towards her only moments after she’d stepped through the front door. The smirk on his lips the other night told her that even the possible idea of her coming, even if it was a minute percentage, was enough for him to hold out hope that she would actually show up. Not to mention he was just as stubborn as her, giving up was something she knew he didn’t do lightly and she’d stupidly given him no reason at all to give up on her.

But watching him move towards her made her rethink that maybe it wasn’t too late. She could still turn around and walk out the door, she’d left him standing there watching her leave once before. Though her moment of hesitation allowed him closer and before she knew it he was stood in front of her once more. Only leaving the girls around her as her line of defence, and even though she’d asked Eva not to leave her side, it wasn’t long before her friend wriggled effortlessly out from the light grip Noora held on her coat.

And it wasn’t long before the others split off, leaving Noora standing alone with William once again, she couldn’t help stop a feeling of nervousness spread through her. The girls were her last line of defence, a way to keep William at bay and stop her from letting what happened last time they’d met happen all over again, she was on her own. But she was Noora Amelie Saetre after all, she knew how to handle herself. At least—she usually could.

Breaking her eyes away from her friends figures that had been swallowed up by the packed room, Noora finally turned to William. A flicker of butterflies sparking through her anxious nerves as her eyes fell onto his, the kiss from a couple of nights ago flashing across her mind. Shifting her weight between her feet, she let out a small sigh as she shrugged her coat off before passing it over, mostly in hopes of trying to ignore the compliment he gave her with keeping herself busy. “Willhelm.” She started as her head tilted to the side ever so slightly, “I came for the girls. They wanted to come and it wouldn’t have been fair to stop them because of how I feel about you—and someone has to look out for Eva.”

Noora couldn’t look any less enthused to be at his party, and it left William with a heavy feeling in his chest. It really did feel like they’d gone back to square one; William was trying to inch his way into her heart, and she was doing her best to resist him. She’d definitely done some work on her acting skills, but he could still see through her tough exterior. She was just as nervous and excited as he was, which was probably the main reason she even came. If Noora really hadn’t wanted to go to his party, she wouldn’t have.

She was still throwing the reasons for her decisions onto other people, which was both endearing and frustrating. He understood if she needed to hide behind it for comfort, but every time she did it, it was like another punch to the gut.

If it weren’t for her reaction to his kiss earlier that week, he’d be willing to consider that maybe she really had only shown up to look after Eva.

When she finally surrendered her coat, he hung it up and straightened it out for her. It disappointed him that she wasn’t wearing the scarf he’d given her, but it also excited his imagination. Had she just hung it up in her closet, or was she keeping it close to her? Either way, he took it as a good sign that she hadn’t immediately thrust it back at him and rejected his gift. Though it had mostly been intended to keep her warm, it also served to be a reminder of his new presence in her life. He fully intended to earn her trust back, and that was just the first step.

His jaw involuntarily clenched at the familiar nickname. It had been surprising the first time, cute the second, and challenging thereafter. She was teasing him, and while it partially was amusing, it only made him more determined. By the time he’d have her where he wanted her, there would be no mistake — she’d know that his name wasn’t Willhelm, and if he had his way, she’d never stop calling out his real one.

Pulling himself from his thoughts for the sake of the party surrounding him, William glanced over his shoulder to see where the rest of the girls had headed off to. All he could make out was the general grinding and bounding of bodies, which was all thanks to Chris. If his best friend was good for anything besides having his back, it was throwing a good party, and making sure that the participants were having a good time. “You do a good job at that,” he remarked, his gaze landing on Eva right as she tilted her head back and downed two shots at once. The imagine caused him to chuckle, though it didn’t last for long, because he turned his sight back to the blonde before him. “It’s still nice to see you.” He took in the sight of her for a moment, not making any effort to hide from her that he was checking her out. “I have something to show you.”

Without another word, he reached out to take her hand and began leading her through the crowd until they reached the other side of the room. There was a door against the back wall, and he gently knocked on it to make sure that they wouldn’t be intruding on anybody else. When there was no response, he pulled the door open and motioned for Noora to enter. “It’s just a kitchen area. I made you something.”

Noora should have known the moment she told Eva about her chance encounter with William, and everything that had happened that day, that there would be no way that she could get out of going to his welcome home party. She knew all the girls wanted to go, and she couldn’t—wouldn’t stop them from going just because of her. No matter how much the mere thought of turning up there made her anxious, though she wasn’t entirely sure if it was because she simply didn’t want to go or because deep down she was worried about what could happen if she did go.

Ever since their reunion the other night, Noora hadn’t been able to get William out of her head. It was both a blessing and a curse. There was one positive that she could take away from that night, he still loved her and she knew that, that wouldn’t change any time soon. But since that night she’d also cleared her mind from his influence that night and it left her feeling completely idiotic.

She’d promised herself she wouldn’t let him back in so easily and that kiss—the multiple kisses—that had happened that night wasn’t something she could let happen again. At least not until he explained himself completely. It would only make the thoughts in her head messier and that was the last thing she wanted to have happened.

And maybe that’s why she found herself walking up behind Eva and the others as they entered the party, because she wanted to give him a chance to explain himself. Though a part of her was doubting coming, it was William after all, he had a way of getting under her skin. But as she stepped into the crowded room, it was too late to turn back now, she couldn’t avoid him forever and  against her better judgement, her first instinct was to let her eyes survey the sea of heads and faces, searching for his familiar one.

Because after all, he was the only reason she had come.

At first, it felt strange to be surrounded by so many people that he'd nearly gotten existed, but after a while, he got used to it and tried his best to enjoy himself. William participated in conversations and even shared a couple drinks with the Penetrators, but it was only Noora that he was excited for. He wasn't even certain that she'd show, but that didn't stop him from constantly checking the door and searching for her blonde hair in the crowd of party goers. It was a typical Nissen party, even if a large percentage of the attendees were graduates. Couples were hooking up in various areas and drinks were still being poured at an increasing rate, but after an hour of waiting, he was beginning to lose hope that Noora would show up with her friends. She'd made it very clear that even if she did it wouldn't be for him, but that didn't stop him from anticipating her arrival. She was still the girl he loved, and it was so them to create tension at a party. Grabbing another beer bottle from the cooler, he popped the top off and took a long swig. The liquid was bitter and cold, which helped calm his nerves. He wasn't a huge fan of having the attention all on him, but it was a nice gesture from Chris, so he wouldn't make a big deal out of it. He held onto the bottle, occasionally taking sips to keep himself looking occupied. People continued to form around him and welcome him back to Oslo, which he was grateful for, but at the same time, he couldn't have been any less interested in the small talk. Someone in particular was occupying his brain, and it wasn't until he saw her walk through the front door that he set the bottle down and excused himself. He crossed the room in a few strides, immediately greeting her and her friends. Eva headed towards the alcohol, which wasn't a surprise to anyone. Vilde immediately straightened her composure when she saw him, which almost elicited an eye roll from William. She'd have to stop trying to impress him eventually, and he couldn't wait for that day. He didn't speak to Noora until it was only them standing in the front of the rented party room, and he couldn't help but smirk at the sight of her. "You look beautiful," he greeted, offering to take her coat with a simple gesture. "I'm glad you came."

One would think that the possible on lookers from people passing them on the streets would help Noora keep her from acting on the want William’s small kiss left behind. But it wasn’t the first time they’d created a possible spectacle in public, far from it. When she was with him, he was all she saw. All she cared about and focused on. The possible people watching what was unfolding before them was far from being cared about. She only cared about the way William’s arms wrapped around her and how perfectly they fitted together. It was so easy, but possibly the worst thing she could of let herself do.

But as her fingers intertwined through the hair at the nape of his neck and her lips locked with his, she didn’t care. She only cared about him. About the two of them in this exact moment. That’s all that mattered.

It wasn’t until the pressure of William’s lips left hers that she allowed herself to drag in a shaking breath. Trying to regain some control over the jagged breathing the kiss left behind. However his actions made it harder for her to regain her composure. He always left her breathless, and it felt strange to admit that she’d missed the feeling. Missed how much he could actually affect her in such a way.

Though as his quiet words reached her ears, she did what she thought would be impossible only moments ago, she let her fingertips trace his jawline before resting a single palm against his chest as she created only a few inches of space between them. But enough to allow herself space to breathe. Space to gather her thoughts.

Letting the tip of her nose nudge against his gently, she let out a much smoother breath as her eyes finally opened to focus upon his for a moment before she finally spoke. “I shouldn’t—” Pausing for a moment, her head shook gently as her fingertips rose once more to brush against his jawline as her eyes closed tightly. “This shouldn’t have even happened. It’s only gone and made things more complicated than they already are. But—maybe. If Eva and the girls want to go, I won’t say no to them and it won’t mean anything. You can’t kiss me and expect everything to fall back into place.”

Ah, there it was. The reminder that his kiss hadn't solved any of the issues between them. He was well aware of that, though, in all honesty, it had solved a few for him. It had given the already arrogant boy even more confidence, and he was pleased to know that the electricity between him and the girl he loved was still present. If it was even possible, it had actually intensified. William didn't believe in soul mates, but he knew that if he did, Noora would be his. They were two sides of the same coin: the bad boy and the smart girl. Even though he was still on thin ice with her, he was glad to be on any ice at all.

She still was, after all, the girl that he intended on spending his life with - if she'd have him. Though, he didn't think that would  be too much of an issue.

He reacted instinctively to her, his nose gently bumping back against hers. Their lips were mere centimeters apart, and the only sound beside the rush of traffic on the street was their ragged breathing. It was a wonder that none of the people out on the streets had tapped one of them on the shoulder and asked them to take their dramatic reunion elsewhere. However, even if that did happen, there was a high possibility that William would simply flip the person off and wrap his arms back around Noora.

He'd almost forgotten how perfectly their bodies fit together.

The smirk on his lips was undeniable. "It won't mean anything," he promised her, though he knew - and hoped she knew - that it would. "And I know that a kiss doesn't fix everything." He tilted her chin up once more, his dark orbs peering into her much lighter ones. Leaning forward carefully, he pressed another soft kiss to her lips, only letting it linger for a few moments.

And suddenly, without so much as a warning, he pulled away from the embrace and retrieved his bags of clothes from the ground. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time, a look of concern crossing his features upon inspecting. "I have to go." He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his scarf around her neck. "Chris is waiting for me. I'll see you at my party." He considered leaning in for another kiss, but ultimately decided against it. He'd wait until his party to make another move, unless they ran into each other at some point beforehand. "Text me if you need me." Though he doubted she would.

Everything within Noora wanted to forget what had happened over the past couple of months. She wanted to forget the constant heartache that filled her chest every moment she was left to remember that her and William were more or less broken up. She wanted to forget the sleepless nights where her mind didn’t stop constantly thinking of every worst possible outcomes. She wanted to forget everything. It would be so easy for her to open herself back up to him and let things fall back into place. But no matter how much her heart wanted him, her mind had other ideas.

Every single thing about him was intoxicating. Falling for him was never supposed to happen. He was everything she swore against.

If he wanted, he could so easily turn around and leave Oslo at a drop of a hat. Leaving her behind this time. Maybe that was part of the reason why she was so hesitant on letting him back in, from wrapping her arms around him and pressing her lips against his the moment she’d seen him, because she was scared terrified of losing him yet again. Of having him break her heart yet again. She had no clue what in the world was going on his head. No clue why he was back. There were so many ways this could end, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle another ending like before.

But as his finger glided softly against her skin, and her eyes met his, she felt the tension she held in her whole being fade. He was always so easily able to make her release a bit of the control she was so use to holding onto tightly. He was good and bad for her all at the same time and it was tiring trying to figure out which he was more to her.

Especially in this moment, right now. Noora didn’t move a muscle.

She kept her eyes focused upon him as he leaned closer, only once allowing them to flicker downwards towards his lips. She should of expected it. Should of stopped him before he even got the idea firmly cemented in his mind. But his touch was all she wanted, all she craved for so long, and feeling his simple touches only heightened the need.

It felt so right, no matter if the moment his lips gently pressed against hers a breath of surprise left her, his lips against hers felt so right. It was short and sweet, but it sent a shiver down her spine. Brought her dulled senses back to life. How could he possibly be able to do so much damage but be able to make her want to forget it all.  

It felt like she was battling to draw in breath as her eyes flickered open, a few moments after the feeling of his lips against hers had faded, and her soft focused eyes scanned over his features. “William—” She started, softly whispered under breath. But any rejection she had in mind had completely slipped away. She’d lost all rational thinking and without a second longer to spare, her hands slid themselves up around his shoulders to link around his neck. Pulling herself flush against his body, her lips found his for the second time in months. Desperately seeking everything they once were before everything got so screwed up.

It didn’t fix anything. But the feeling of his lips made everything easier to forget. 

The moment their lips met for the first time, William felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He felt every ounce of worry and guilt wash away, at least for the few moments that the kiss lasted. And when it ended, he fully intended to pull back and just observe her until she was calm enough to berate him for taking advantage of her like that. He'd bite back a smile the whole time, but he'd nod along and let her tell him off because she was usually right about everything, and he deserved it. It was just a fact, and he'd come to accept it a long time ago.

That was how he'd expected things to go, but not everything goes as expected.

The next time they kiss, it's by her insistence, and he couldn't be more willing. It's more intense and less surprised, which gives William the confidence to drop his shopping bags on the ground and wrap his arms around her. It looks like a scene right out of a movie, and in all honesty, William wished that it was. Couples in movies were assured a happy ending, and that was a lot more than he was assured with Noora. A kiss didn't mean that they were together or that she had accepted his apology. It wasn't even a ceasefire. It was simply an act of impulse between two people with a nonstop sexual tension between them.

It was a good sign. He'd leave it at that.

He only pulled away when his lungs demanded air, and even then, he kept his arms around her. His fingers tangled in her hair as he pulled her to his chest, a soft kiss pressing against her head to comfort her. Being this close to her was intoxicating, and just like old times, he was having a difficult time stopping after having a taste. He wanted her. No, craved her. All of her.

"Come to my party," he whispered to her, his grip tightening on her as a gust of wind whipped at them. He realized then that he would always, for as long as he was alive, do whatever he could to protect Noora Saetre - even if it was from simple things, like wind. "You don't have to be my date, and it doesn't have to mean anything. I just want to see you there."

The simple action he made, had far greater effect on her than it had ever had before. It was strange how after not that much time, in the large scheme of things, had passed just how much one simple act that had once been relatively small and insignificant could turn into something else. Something that held far more meaning than just a simple sign of affection. His warm, familiar touch caused Noora’s breath to hitch softly as her eyes fluttered closed and subconsciously allowed her head to tilt slightly towards it. Even when she wanted to let things come to an end between them, before anything else could go wrong and she’d be right back where she was only a few weeks ago, her subconscious seeked him. Wanted him.

She wanted him. Even after everything. Even after what he’d put her through over the past couple of months.

But it couldn’t be that easy. She loved him more than anything, but he couldn’t just walk back into her life after months of not seeing or even talking to each other and offer a simple sorry. There was no explanation. No explanation behind why he just let her go. No explanation behind why he hadn’t  come after her. No explanation on why he was back. No nothing. Only more unanswered questions.

She loved him, but love could only handle so much. She could only handle so much.

Taking in a deep breath, her eyes fluttered open before focusing back upon his. Any hardness that had settled on her usual soft features had vanished, only the hidden layer of sadness was left upon them. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears that would eventually end up being just like the rest she’d lost over him. “But you did—more than I ever thought you would.” Her words hitched ever so softly as she took in another shaky breath, her eyes closing for a mere moment before opening once more.

The only one piece of comfort she could take from all of this was that he still loved her. She was still his, and he was still hers. Even if they weren’t exactly together. “I just—I don’t know. I don’t know anything, William. I love you, but, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do with this—with you.”

Should he do it? Should he give in and close what little space remains between them?

The temptation is overwhelming. The way she’s looking up at him renders him speechless again, and all he craves in that moment is the taste of her lips. His arms wrapped around her waist. Her arms wrapped around his neck. It was a pattern they’d fallen into, back when everything was good between them. Back before he’d fucked everything up. He still wanted to kick his own ass for screwing things up between them, but a part of him had been relieved when he’d done it. William Magnusson had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he had honestly felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Ever since their relationship began, people always expected him to mess up somehow. It was only a matter of time before he met their expectations. And boy did he.

He needed to deal with the consequences --- he knew that. But it would be so much easier to just kiss Noora than to continue with forced and painful small talk. He didn’t want to kiss her if it wasn’t wanted, but by the look on her face, he had a hard time believing that she wouldn’t want it. For a long moment, he debated with himself whether or not to do it. She was there, inches away from him, and he knew she wouldn’t reject it.

Well, he hoped.

“You don’t need to know anything, Noora.” He ran his finger along her jaw, tilting her chin up towards his face. When their eyes met, he ran his thumb across her lower lip. “Do what you want.”

Without any further words, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. It was short and sweet, meant to remind her of what they had once been. What they could be again. It didn’t make up for the months of kissing they’d missed out on, but it was a start. He only hoped that she would reciprocate.

She should of stepped away the moment he took his first step towards her. Taken back the control she had over situation and of herself immediately. But after months without him, as much as she hated to admit it to herself, having him close enough to reach out and touch brought back a small comfort. He was here and he was real. However, she couldn’t bring herself to allow her eyes to focus upon his own. Instead, she kept them focused upon his chest, because maybe then she would be able to keep from cracking.

They’d been here so many times before, how did they always find themselves here.

History could so easily repeated itself. She could falsely confess that she didn’t love him, just like she had when he’d first given her the option that night at the party. But this time, maybe even make him truly believe she didn’t want to be with him. After she took in a long deep breath, she finally forced her eyes upward. Locking them onto his finally. His familiar orbs that use to settle her, bring her comfort. But now, looking up into the, only brought back the pain of the last few months. “Do you?” She questioned, pausing for a moment to swallow the lump that had gathered in her throat. “Because right now, it’s a little hard to believe that you still do.”

Pressing her lips together, she broke her eyes from his once more. “I never said I didn’t love you anymore.” She whispered softly, her head shaking as she took in a small shaky breath as she once more forced herself to look up at him. “But I shouldn’t love you.” That was the truth. No matter how good it could be between them, he’d hurt her and toyed with her more times that she should of let him. “Especially now, because—I did everything for you. I moved for you, I left my entire life and friends behind for you, I stayed for as long as I could possibly stand for you, and you couldn’t even let me know that you were coming back. You couldn’t even come and find me. I had to find out through Eva.”

Pausing for a moment, she tried to gather herself up. Forcing the storm of heartbreak that bubbled below the surface from breaking through.  

“I love you—but you broke my heart, William. .”

"I know that I messed up.” It was like the time that he’d made a fact out of telling his brother that Noora meant nothing to him, when she clearly did. He knew than that it would hurt her feelings and that he’d have to explain himself, but he did it at the time because he thought it was for the better good. He had only been trying to protect her, and in a way, despite how much he’d failed at it, he'd never stopped trying to protect her. He let her leave London alone because he knew that he’d put her in an uncompromising position. He also knew that he couldn’t just leave his father after finally having his attention --- something he’d wanted his entire life. And when he returned to Oslo, he decided not to say anything because he didn’t want to hurt her any more. It was perhaps the most hypocritical and contradicting thing he’d ever done, but despite her heartbreak, he had done it thinking it was the best for her.

She deserved a happy life with someone who wouldn’t hurt her.

All he seemed to do was hurt her.

When she didn’t pull away from him, he took that as a good sign. The feelings were still mutual, and that wasn’t surprising. Somehow Noora never stopped loving him, despite the damage he’s done to her and everyone around him. Mistakes are all William seems to make anymore, but knowing that he still has Noora’s love fills him with a new hope that he hadn’t had before the conversation.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.” It’s the truth, though he doesn’t think she’ll believe it. She has every right not to. “But I do love you. I’ll always love you. Even if we can’t be together, I hope you know that.” He hesitantly reached out with his free hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. The action is so simple yet reminiscent of what they once were that it took Wililam most of his strength not to just close the distance between them and kiss her.

But he doesn’t. Especially since it it’ll take Noora by surprise, and he only wants to kiss her when she’s consenting. Instead, he pushes the thought aside and runs his thumb across her cheek, his next words coming out softer than usual. “I’m sorry.”

Everything felt like a dream. A dream where everything was exactly the same, but there was just one thing wrong. One small minute detail that changed the whole feeling completely. He spoke the same, he looked the same—maybe a little more on the unkept side of things, but he was William— and he said the one thing she had wanted to hear. That he was sorry. But she didn’t want him to be sorry for not telling her he was coming back, she wanted him to be sorry for letting her go in the first place. For letting her live in Olso for so long afterwards without him. To make some momentous apology that she couldn’t even think about not being able to forgive him. But the only thing he seemed to be able to offer her was, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you I was coming back.

Was he even sorry? Did he even care about her anymore? Everything he did made it hard to believe he cared, because if he did care about her. If he did love her as much as he said he did, and how much she always believed he did, he would of come to her the moment he stepped off the plane at the airport. There would be no hesitation or excuse for not coming to find her. For so long, she’d been adamant that they were simply on a break. But now, she couldn’t help but feel completely idiotic for holding onto the hope of him coming back for her as long as she had.

They had been over the moment she’d left their apartment that day in London.

Starring at him, her eyes filled with disbelief as she physically took a step back from him, even if she was far from being anything remotely considered close. “Your sorry.” She repeated finally, the corner of her lips twisting into a false smile as she shook her head. “It’s a little late for sorry’s, William. A couple of weeks, if not months, late actually. Save your breath because—” The words caught in her throat, as she turned her attention away from him for a split second. Her fingers raking through her hair before she let out a sharp breath. “Because I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say. I spent weeks—months—waiting for you because I was too caught up in love with you to realise the truth. You weren’t coming back. You weren’t coming back for me, and I was right. So just—leave it.”

It was official. She was ending things. Good. He deserved it. His mouth tasted bitter, and he couldn’t explain why. It was a wonder that they hadn’t attracted the attention of anybody else out shopping. The tension between them was undeniable. As time passed and their conversation continued, the wall between them was only increasing in size. William had never denied that Noora deserved better than him. He was, after all, new to the concept of being in love. But that didn’t excuse his behavior. He knew that he should’ve done everything differently, but he couldn’t change that anymore. The past was the past, and Noora was finally ending things between them. A clean cut off was what he deserved. He’d toyed with her emotions enough throughout the duration of their relationship.

( If she was heaven, he was hell. The young, abrasive boy was being put back in his place by the girl who had claimed his heart. )

He should’ve left it alone. He should’ve agreed with what she said and let her walk away from him. He knows all of those things, but even so, he can’t. He simply loves her too much.

And so, he pulls out the only weapon he still has. An apology won’t fix the hole he’s wedged between them. The only thing he can think of is to tell her that he’s still in love with her, and even then, he doubts it’ll work. She’s taken a physical step away from him, and that spoke more than her words did. She was letting go of him. And it hurt.

“Noora Amalie Saetre,” he began, closing the space between them. He didn’t dare touch her, but he hoped that she wouldn’t immediately pull away from him. They were only inches apart, and he caught the familiar scent of her shampoo. It caused the muscles in his stomach to clench. “You’re a smart girl. You have to understand that after everything I’ve put you through, I still love you. So if you want to get rid of me, just look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore.” There. That was fair. He’d left it completely up to her. Back when he made her falsely confess to not having feelings for him, he knew that she was lying. He read her like a book. He knew by the furrow of her brow whether or not she was lying or telling the truth. 

The only difference this time was that he wasn’t certain of her answer.

I’m back. For good.

The two words weren’t any news to her ears. But just hearing them spoken by him was more than enough evidence for her to allow herself to believe that he’d come back with no intention of reaching out to her. That he was here for himself and no other reason. It was the last blow to her heart that she needed to feel her stomach sink. She felt sick. For months the only thing Noora had wanted was William. To feel his eyes on her when she wasn’t paying attention, to simply know he was only in the other room and would be there in a second if she called. But now, simply feeling his gaze focus directly upon her, scanning her, caused an unfamiliar feeling to erupt throughout her.

Discomfort.

Never once before had she felt uncomfortable around William. Not even at the start when she had refused to accept his efforts, when she’d desperately tried to fight the feelings that had steadily grew within for him. He had always made her feel comfortable. Safe. He may be the complete opposite of steady the majority of the time, but he helped make her feel steady. Like her mind wasn’t completely out of control when things sometimes got a little bit too much to handle. He was an anchor for her to hold. For all his faults, she knew he would always be there for her. At least, she’d thought he would always be there for her. Now she couldn’t help but feel like she never knew him at all.

A nod of her head was Noora’s first response. There was so much she wanted to say to him. So much she had thought over and over again in her head ever since she finally settled on the fact that he wasn’t coming to find her and make things how they once where. But it wasn’t the place to make a scene because that’s exactly what she knew she could create if she allowed every feeling she felt towards him out into the open.

“Nice of him to do that for you, though shouldn’t exactly expect anything else from him. I know he’s missed you—a lot of people have missed you.” Myself included, though she didn’t dare admit that out loud to him. Instead, she allowed herself to fall into a small silence for a moment, her jaw tightening ever so slightly. “Thought you would of had enough clothes suitable from London, from what I remember at least, or are you leaving everything from London behind.”

He absolutely hated the look on her face. He knew she wouldn’t be over the moon to see him, especially since he hadn’t even bothered to let her know that he was back in the first place, but it still stung him. She way she looked at him made him feel like she was looking at him like an ex boyfriend that she was trying to move on from. It would make sense, of course, if that was the case, but he still hated it. He hated not being with Noora. He hated that he’d treated her so shitty. He hated that he’d let her leave him. He hated that he was too afraid to tell her that he was coming back. It didn’t change anything, but he still hated it.

There was a lengthy pause on his end. Noora’s voice still had the same effect on him; it both calmed and scared him. It frightened him to admit just how in love with this girl he was, when in reality, he’d never expected to fall in love in the first place. Love didn’t exist in the Magnusson household. There was only love for money. William knew that he would follow in his father’s footsteps, with or without his father’s help, but he’d always expected to do it alone. One night stands and flings were fine, but he didn’t expect to have any serious commitments. That was all until he met Noora. She was the first girl who had ever put him in his place and showed him just how damaged yet beautiful the world was.

He debated with himself for a while, unsure of what exactly to say. He had hurt her --- that much was obvious. His biggest concern was how he was going to fix it. “I needed winter clothes." He observed her carefully, noticing the tension in her jaw. He wasn’t one for a scene and never had been, but he knew it was good for Noora to get her feelings out. She deserved that. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you I was coming back.”

It was almost inevitable that Noora and William’s path would eventually cross after his return because after all, they knew the same people after all—mostly. But Noora had hoped that she would be a little more prepared for it, wether it be on her own terms or at least knew that he was going to be there. This was the last thing she wanted. Being caught off guard and having to face him, it spelled disaster waiting to happen. There was a reason why she hadn’t sought him out the moment she’d hear he was back in town, because she had been a complete and utter mess.

For weeks she’d been dreaming about this moment. The moment where she’d be standing in front of him once more. But the dream and the reality were polar opposites. In her dreams, she was over the moon to see him, her whole being filled with love and joy and she was desperate to feel his touch. But the reality? Now that she was standing in front of him, she felt none of that. She wanted to turn around and walk away, leave him standing behind her like she had when she left London.

Of course she still loved him, she always would love him, and maybe that’s why she always felt a burning hatred firing up inside of her. Because no matter what he did. No matter what he put her through, she would always be in love with him.

No one could possibly compare to him. She knew she deserved better than him, but she didn’t want better. She wanted him, imperfections and all.

As William finally slowly turned to face her, Noora swallowed the lump that had gathered in her throat. God, she’d missed him. More than she thought was ever possible. But she made no move towards him. There was no dream reunion. No running into each others arms like once before. Instead her jaw set slightly as her eyes focused intently onto him. “Hi—” Surprise. He might be right, it was a surprise. But it wasn’t the surprise she wanted from him. “So it’s true then.” She started, trying to keep her voice level. “Eva didn’t misunderstand Chris when he told her, you’re back.” Her eyes flickered down towards the shopping bags he held in hands for a moment before focusing back upon him. “Been busy I see, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.”

Their reunion was inevitable, but he didn’t expect it to be outside of the shopping mall on a windy day. He didn’t look his best --- his hair was back to its usual state of unkemptness, and he wasn’t wearing one of the expensive suits that Noora used to iron for him. He looked like standard William, a boy who constantly seeked approval from two people who were uncapable of giving it to him. He was wearing his usual long-sleeved, plain shirt with a pair of sweatpants. Nothing special, but enough to catch someone’s eye if he passed by them. If he’d known that he was going to see Noora, he would’ve put in a little more effort in his appearance. But then again, nothing about their relationship had exactly been planned. He sought out the impulsive side of her that she kept hidden, and in return, she tried to keep him sensible. It just worked between them.

But now, seeing her standing in front of him, he felt anything but sensible. One part of him wanted to just turn and walk away. Let her be better off without him. She’d have a long and successful life, and it appeared that all he’d ever done was add drama to it. But another part of him wanted to say with movements what he couldn’t with words. He wanted to kiss her senseless, like he had so many times before she’d fully given herself to him. He missed her lips and how it felt to have her body against his. However, the last and smallest part of him knew what he had to do. What he should do. It’d take a while --- months, weeks, even, but he’d be willing to do it. He’d gain her trust back and let her invade all of his senses again. He’d be glad once everything was worked out again, but William was anything but a patient man. The most patience he’d ever shown anyone was Noora, during his mission of charming her over.

How ironic.

“No, she didn’t.” He’d never been a man of many words, but looking over at Noora, he was almost at a loss for them. She was breathtaking and heartbreaking. Everything he needed and wanted, but didn’t deserve. “M’not busy. Just shopping. Chris is throwing me a party this weekend.” He involuntarily looked her up and down, though his eyes stopped at her lips. “I’m back. For good.”

She’d lost count of the amount of times she’d opened up the kitchen cupboard to find empty shelves, or boxes of pasta just not quite full enough to pass as a decent meal. No matter how many times Noora had told Eskild, even if he always denied it—she knew he was behind the vanishing pasta and other food from her shelf, it always happened. Not to mention it seemed to always happen at the complete wrong time. The last thing she felt like doing was going out to get something to eat. But even after searching through the other three’s supplies, she came up empty handed. Going out seemed inevitable. So with a short breath and shouts to the others that she was going out, Noora threw on a heavy jacket, grabbed her wallet and keys before venturing out into the chilly night.

Even though the idea of walking hadn’t been her favourite idea, now that she was outside, the cold air against her skin made her feel lighter. Far better than she had before after cooping herself up in her room for last couple of days. Her mind never seeming to be able to quieten enough for her to get some peace and not to mention, sleep. Noora had thought those days were behind her. That she wouldn’t ever once be kept up thinking about William. She’d done plenty of that after she’d first arrived back in Olso a couple of months ago, day dreaming that he’d show up at her apartment door. But he never did; and no matter how hard it was to admit to herself that they were officially finished, she had to.

He wasn’t coming back. He wasn’t going to show up.

At least that’s what she had thought up until a couple of days ago. She’d had to drag it out of Eva and Noora still wasn’t exactly sure if she was glad Eva had finally given up that William was back. Back and crashing at Chris’s. Because ever since that day, her heart had been heavier than ever before. Why hadn’t he come and seen her? Why hadn’t he told her? Why, why, why. There was so many whys that ran through her mind and she hated it. Hated how he so easily infected her thoughts and twisted them. If it hadn’t been for Eva and the rest of the girls, she wouldn’t know what she would of done.

A soft sigh left Noora’s lips, her fingers running through her blonde locks, as she turned the final corner to the store closest to her apartment. But as her eyes focused upon a figure just a bit ahead of her, her steps slowed. His stance and the way he held himself, she could of picked him out of a crowded room in an instant. A part of her hoped that it wasn’t him. A part of her still hoped Eva had misunderstood Chris and William hadn’t come back. But now, seeing him standing a few paces ahead of her, she had to believe it. Had to believe he’d come back and hadn’t come to find her.

It took a couple of tries to get the single word out, but finally as she took in another deep breath, Noora spoke his name.

“William?”

It’s one thing to be continually let down by your father through childhood. It’s another to grow up, finally develop a real bond with your father through work, and allow that bond to jeopardize your relationships with people, only to be let down by him --- once again. It was devastating, and not only to his ego, but to his feelings as well. He’d let his relationship with Noora deteriorate to point of her returning back to Oslo, and that was one of the hardest ( and most selfish ) things he’d ever done. He’d let his need for approval from Mr. Magnusson take away the best part of his life.

Noora deserved better. He knew that. She was every beautiful and pure thing that he wasn’t.

So when William’s relationship with his father became unbearable again, his only two options were toughing it out or flying back to Norway. He hated admitting his failures, but toughing it out was becoming more and more impossible. William had inherited his father’s incessant stubbornness, and for weeks, all they did was butt heads and storm out on each other. Living without Noora was painful, but living without Noora and at constant war with his father was impossible.

So he boarded a plane to Oslo and wished for the best. The old Penetrators would be happy to see him, but if he was honest with himself, he was dreading returning. Too many things reminded him of Noora nowadays, and being in the town where they’d fallen in love would only add to his dread. It had been months since her departure --- what if she’d met someone else at Nissen and begun dating again? The thought alone made his fists clench in jealousy. She deserved happiness, of course, but he wanted that happiness to be with him.

Sleeping on Chris’s couch wasn’t ideal, but it was the best offer on the table. His old apartment was being occupied by an older couple he’d never met, and even if he did still have access to it, he wouldn’t be able to stay there. It reminded him too much of her. That day, he’d roped Chris into driving him into town, needing to both get out of the house and do some clothes shopping. The Penetrators were throwing William a “welcome back” party, but he was really only looking forward to getting drunk out of his mind. It was embarrassing enough to be fired by your own father, and William wasn’t in the mood to babysit any of the guys.

He already had two bags of clothes clutched in his fists, and he had been debating what type of cologne to buy himself when he heard her voice saying his name. William? He froze, not willing himself to turn and look at her. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to control himself around her. He owed her a million apologies, he knew that --- he shouldn’t have let their relationship crack enough for her to even want to go back to Oslo, but he had. He never claimed to be the perfect boyfriend, but even so, he had failed pretty miserably at it.

“Hi,” he said quietly, finally turning to look at her. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. Jesus, she was so beautiful. “Surprise?”