now you're in the ground we call you memory

also i like to make stuff. feel free to drop me a request if you want a mood/stimboard, a playlist, whatever. its really theraputic for me making stuff like that so dont feel like its a hassle or whatever im very very happy to do it 👍

Sick of feeling so neglected and fucking ignored by my own family. Even my dad, the one who didn’t outright abuse me, doesn’t seem to give a fuck. I’m visiting him right now and he’s just ignoring me. Literally falling asleep mid conversation. He never answers any of my texts. You made me cross countries with my partner to just be fucking ignored. Do you even want me here or do you just feel obligated to act like you give a fuck?? If you want to relive MY childhood with your new family then fucking SAY THAT don’t be a coward about it. Stop fucking letting me down. When did you become so goddamn quiet. We used to talk all the time. You used to write songs about me. We were best friends. I love you. I’m still your baby. Why won’t you look at me. Did I do something wrong

Oh I’m sorry you didn’t realise that you got molested until years later. I’m sorry you didn’t have to bleed through your panties in primary school. I’m sorry you weren’t actively hiding a secret for almost a decade. That must make your moral shield so much weaker. The fact that all you do with your victimhood is use it as an excuse to fetishise the shit that ruined my life right in front of me with your disgusting pedophile friends makes me sick. If you want victim olympics then here you fucking go. You never went through that shit. You never got fucked until you bled by a boy you barely knew. You weren’t getting facefucked for beer when you were barely a teenager. You don’t have to block out the memories of EVERY SINGLE SUMMER up until the age of FOURTEEN because you spent them with a fucking serial rapist. You don’t have scar tissue on the inside of your fucking cunt and anus because of how hard you were raped. You can go into a public bathroom without panicking. You didn’t have to wake up to your pedophile rapist calling you in the middle of the night having no idea how the fuck he got your number and have him threaten suicide if he can’t “have you back.” No, you just want to get your rocks off to the shit I went through and then pull the “wehh you’re bullying a victim” card whenever someone calls you out for being a sick piece of shit. You aren’t fucking coping you are perpetrating every single time you type up another excuse and put more of that shit out into the world. How dare you fucking call me an abuser for warning CHILDREN what you’re like. I hope you fucking die screaming all you fucking pedophiles

My long distance friend is threatening to kill herself again. I’ve already told you that’s not fucking happening, you’re not doing that to me. You are not doing something THAT fucking selfish and leaving ME behind to live with the survivors guilt. You’re going to live if I have to fly over there and wrangle the gun out of your hands. I don’t care if you end up in inpatient care as long as they keep you alive. You’re not leaving me alone.