SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THE GOOD PLACE / 4.08 –– 4.09
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“Well, that’s just uncomfortable.”
“Oh, sorry, that’s not enough information.”
“Wake him up, so I can, like, be reunited with the man I love.”
“Snappy, snappy, memory fixy.”
“Here’s a bottle of tequila.”
“Let us know how it goes.”
“She might just snap her fingers and send us flying into different dimensions.”
“Did that cheer everyone up?”
“Aw, man, are we gonna die again?”
“We’ve died so many times.”
“We’ve probably had, like, fifteen funerals by now.”
“Grafittiing a Red Lobster is the first stage of grief.”
“Let’s throw ourselves the funeral to end all funerals.”
“You know what they say: if you don’t like this funeral, just wait a minute.”
“Say something mean to me, really cruel, something that just guts me.”
“You are going to fail again because that is what you do.”
“You did an incredible job, maybe the best job that anyone’s ever done at any task.”
“She was super nice, and she deserved for people to be nicer to her than they were.”
“She taught me lots of stuff, like bras shouldn’t be painful, and you don’t buy bras at Home Depot, and they don’t sell bras at Home Depot.”
“She was the best friend I ever had and I loved her.”
“When he was younger, someone told him that exercise alleviated anxiety, and he started doing pushups and basically never stopped.”
“The closest he’d never gotten to a piñata on his birthday was when a seagull ate too many condoms on the beach and exploded.”
“Despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’d ever met.”
“He was the first person to ask me about my feelings.”
“I gotta say it was nice to have a true dirtbag buddy so I could talk about what really mattered in life.”
“Why are we even still discussing this?”
“The point is, people improve when they get external love and support.”
“It’s nice that you want to honor me, but you’ve already given me so much.”
“She taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one.”
“He taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people.”
“There was a moment when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.”
“Just thinking about that makes me want to barf up a beautiful quasar.”
“I stand here before you, in sweatpants for the first time ever.”
“I never knew if she was going to ruthlessly make fun of me, or totally objectify me in a way that was flattering but also vaguely problematic.”
“I have come tot he conclusion that you’re right.”
“Humans are not fixed at one level of morality.”
“The universe owes you a debt of gratitude for bringing this to my attention.”
“The simplest solution is to erase everyone that ever lived and restart with a bunch of amoebas or whatever.”
“Human life will evolve again, or maybe even something better.”
“Maybe this time humans won’t have baby teeth. That whole thing is so weird, like, they fall out and then the bigger teeth just grow out of that same hole? Gross.”
“If you are ever gonna do something, you gotta do it now.”
“I’m composing some very sternly worded letters.”
“Are we sure stern is the right tone? We don’t want to seem strident.”
“Humans suck but this isn’t their fault.”
“You read what I wrote and it got through to you?”
“I used the pages to wipe my butt, so don’t pop a stiffy just yet.”
“I’m here for a certain reason, and no other reasons.”
“There is literally only one person here who is smart enough and thoughtful enough to save humanity.”
“Designing a better afterlife is the ultimate ethical question.”
“All he cares about is how best to treat other people, and he is willing to sacrifice his own happiness to do it.”
“He is our only chance and it is now or literally never.”
“His psyche is like a giant bowl of M&M Peep chili.”
“Can I please have a drink with a lot of alcohol in it?”
“Everything always has to be your way.”
“I thought this was what you wanted.”
“How dare you bring that up again?”
“How about you show some interest in someone who didn’t die 200 years ago.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”
“That was clear and persuasive.”
“They’re even talking about getting me a puppy.”
“I proved once and for all that you can always find the answer.”
“Every problem has an answer.”
“If you just read enough books and think hard enough, you can figure out the answer to any question.”
“I know you’re really smart, but that sounds wrong.”
“Is this enough cheese? I hope this is enough cheese.”
“If there’s a problem with our relationship, there is an answer that will solve it.”
“Until I had to read this, I had a will to live.”
“This work is an insane, tangled web of inscrutability.”
“There is a great mind at work in here, but where is the heart?”
“Some things in life don’t have an answer.”
“If you won’t listen to other people, do you at least hear what you’re saying?”
“Sometimes it is literally impossible to be your friend.”
“Is there a relationship equivalent to oatmeal?”
“I thought saying that out loud would make it less insane, but it did not.”
“You can look at a problem from every angle and drive yourself crazy, but sometimes you just gotta chuck a Molotov cocktail at a drone and see what happens.”
“If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity.”
“I can’t just open a door and walk through without knowing what’s on the other side.”
“You don’t bring knives to a friendly game night.”
“These trivialities demean me.”
“Tonight could have been a real disaster.”
“How do you have the confidence to just swoop in and so elegantly take charge of a whole group of strangers?”
“Honestly, the confidence comes from failure.”
“I’ve thrown my fair share of disastrous gatherings.”
“You live through the failure and you learn from it.”
“There is no way you’re supposed to spend eternity with a woman who sleeps in a giant nest.”
“I don’t think that story is as cute as you think it is.”
“I kinda wish cute little you just got to be a kid rather than trying to solve all the world’s problems.”
“I finally make up my mind about one damn thing, and you try to talk me out of it?”
“Honestly, I don’t know, but I don’t think so.”
“If soul mates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.”
“People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship.”
“If kids knew half the stuff their folks were up to, they’d lost their minds.”
“Turns out life isn’t a puzzle that can just be solved one time and it’s done.”
“Hey, so, for the past 300 years, have I been super annoying?”
“I think it might be some of the best writing I’ve ever done.”
