Lockhart

It wasn’t funny, but then again he wasn’t laughing, just stating a morbid fact that had appeared in his brain, itching to get out. It was one muggle fact he wished he hadn’t learned right about now. Gilderoy was angry with him now, but the halo of light remained his face still beautifully shining within it. “I-I wasn’t thinking…I forgot for a moment,” he breathed a sigh but winced at the movement. “I just…but you’re here,” he didn’t know how to explain, didn’t know why he’d come. “I can’t go to St. Mungo’s, I thought you weren’t stupid,” he attempted humor, a half hearted smile but he feared it just looked pained. It was true, he could have found someone good at healing, but the moment the adreneline wore off and he realized he was indeed injured it didn’t really occur to him, he just wanted somewhere, someone safe. Gilderoy’s fingers pushed into his skin but it didn’t really hurt and he wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing. He felt strange, tired, lightheaded and almost a little drunk, things were just altogether a little hazy like he was only half awake. 

He tasted of gin, the martini he had spilled on him at the door, but also a flavor that was completely unique to him, one he’d missed. When he had kissed Gilderoy at school it had always been with a bit of restraint, always holding back a little of his desire, but the reason for that no longer applied and allowed him to let go of that restraint, to take what he wanted and what had been offered back then. His eyes opened to the sound of Gilderoy’s voice, noticing the way his hands still shook. Did he have a death wish? He didn’t think so, but his actions were a bit foolish. “Hmm, no, I don’t…I can’t kiss you again if I’m dead,” he noted. It had made him feel good for a moment drowning out the dull thrum of pain.

Gilderoy’s eyes were at least open now as he seemed to regain some confidence as he aimed his wand. Something wasn’t right though, instead of relief he felt another slash of pain and he groaned the sickening rush of blood gushing out the wound once more. Maybe he was going to die. His eyes fluttered closed hearing Gilderoy’s apologies, the panic in his voice at the blood that slipped past his hand, unable to contain it. But it was only for a moment, the next the pain stopped the blood subsiding but the lethargy remained. He felt Gilderoy’s head press to his chest, wet warmth spilling onto him which for a moment he was confused by. Tears. It made his chest ache at what he had caused, all the distress, the pressure he had put on him. 

Kieran wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his golden head. He held him close, pressing him against his body, comforting the beautiful boy who had now saved him. A boy still, they both were as he himself only had a couple years on him, neither of them should have been in this mess. The war waged outside feeling all the more close to home now. “Thank you,” he murmured against his hair. His thoughts were still sluggish knowing he would need something to help replenish the blood he lost, but for the moment he was okay. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” his voice was soft as he stroked Gilderoy’s back. His impulsiveness was one of his often problematic traits, unable to think past the fact most order members were scattered in the mission and where else he could go.

His eyes closed as he felt Kieran's hand run down his back, shuddering breaths beginning to soften. It was nice, that gentle, light handed touch. Most people who touched Gilderoy were rough and ready- he was unused to it. It felt particular, almost sacred. He melted into Kieran's embrace, holding him back as gently as he could. Gilderoy wondered abstractly how unflattering this must look, for an injured man to be comforting him- but he couldn't admonish himself, no one should have to deal with this. He didn't know what he was doing.

"Don't thank me-" Gilderoy exclaimed under his breath. He shook his head, eyes burning with hot tears. He wanted to ask why Kieran couldn't go to St. Mungos, why he would be stupid for not knowing that, but another, larger part of himself silenced the curiosity. It was probably much better to not know.

Pulling away carefully, Gilderoy hoisted Kieran up again, praying that he'd be able to help himself a little more now that he wasn't bleeding out, and pulled him towards the sink, leaning him against the counter. With a shudder, Gilderoy waved his wand at the streaks and pools of blood on the floor, as well as in the direction of the front door, as he turned on the faucet with an irritated flick of his wrist.

Whenever he was crying as a boy, Gilderoy's dear mother would wet a washcloth with hot water. She would insist, regardless of what phase of tantrum he was in, that he needed to hold it against his face and breathe through the warm cloth. Not knowing what else to do, Gilderoy relied on this ritual, understanding for the first time in his life that maybe it didn't actually help the tears stop, but it was at least a gesture of caring, of wanting to tend to someone in pain- and that was never nothing.

Not meeting his eyes, Gilderoy ran a clean towel through the hot water, wringing it in both hands before offering it to Kieran. "Here..." he said, his voice different- not as low, or as sonorous, a softer, higher pitch meant for very few ears.

And then- realizing his hands were still covered in blood and now staining the towel, he quickly withdrew it, frowning. "Silly me- sorry-" he murmured, beginning to scrub his hands fiercely.

Having set the proverbial board, the auror pushed herself up, sitting on the edge of her seat as she finally shifted her sharp gaze away from him, having deemed him just rattled enough to put him in just the right place. "Your statement is noted. Though you are not a suspect...yet," her voice was soft as she spoke, letting her sentence trail off as she plucked up a quill and made a note of his final statement. It wouldn't do to overlook something potentially troubling, after all.

Then she was leaping off in the direction she really wanted to go, and not one that she had primed him into thinking she was going to go. "How do you know Adar Grunnion?"

He held up a hand to Amelia as she, herself, said it. Leaning back in his chair with more self assurance, Gilderoy nodded. "Yes. See? Thank y- yet?" he frowned, but stopped himself from starting to demand answers as she moved to write something else down. Gilderoy's hand flexed. He wanted to grab her stupid paper and throw it at the wall.

But all of his irritation, all of his anxiety, numbed over as she said the name Adar Grunnion. Gilderoy's face fell into perfect neutrality, his widened eyes glassing over slightly. "How?" he asked, suddenly the model of polite compliance. "He's my mentor... we met in some academic leaning social circles."

A smile appeared on his lips as he noticed the little jump of surprise, having obviously startled him and he wondered what he’d been thinking about. His face had a hopefulness to it that encouraged him, seeing that boy he had once known. He had been worried that when he came back out that Gilderoy might have left and he would have come back to find him gone. 

He had noticed the way Gilderoy’s hand went to his mouth before he left as if hiding a smile but as his eyes flicked to his hand he noticed a slight indent in it as if he had bitten it. Kieran reached down lightly smoothing the red mark for a moment before his hand hovered on the small of Gilderoy’s back to lead him out of the store. “As you’ll ever be? Just what do you think I have at my flat?” he asked playfully as the emerged onto the cobblestone streets. 

It was almost as if Gilderoy was nervous, but that was impossible, right? He seemed so hard to rattle now, having leaned into his new career and role, letting even less of that softer side of him slip through. It was only a short walk to the little alcove that housed the door to his flat something that was convenient when not in the mood to apparate due to a late night. “Nothing too scary in here…” except maybe Pluto. He opened the outside door before making his way down the hallway stopping at his familiar door and ushering Gilderoy inside.

"Yes..."He smiled to himself, tongue running along his teeth. "Who knows how much personal property may be damaged, or broken even- the very moment your front door shuts behind us? I seem to recall getting in a fair bit of trouble from a broken bed post- though I think you were the one who had to wag a finger at me."

He followed Kieran with a sudden rush of ambitious interest, staying close to his side as Kieran lead him through the streets, the short way it took them to get to his door.

Gilderoy looked wearily at the front door, already hearing the dog behind it. He gave a dry swallow, looking up into Kieran's face with a mix of pleading weariness and a smile. "You're sure about that?"

@magicalmeee​

Sirius’ breath hitched as Gilderoy’s lips crashed into his, the intensity of the kiss catching him off guard. The sensation of teeth grazing his bottom lip sent shivers down his spine, akin to the thrill of spotting a rare constellation in the night sky. Gilderoy’s passion was a beacon, guiding Sirius through the darkness and anchoring him to the present moment.

As they broke apart, their foreheads pressed together, Sirius found himself captivated by the determination and fire in Gilderoy’s eyes. A lopsided smile spread across his face, and he tightened his grip on Gilderoy’s waist. “Then you shall have nothing less,” Sirius murmured, his voice low and thick with desire.

The distance between them seemed to evaporate, and Sirius leaned in to capture Gilderoy’s lips once more, a promise to explore the depths of passion and connection together, bound by the gravity of their shared desires.

.

Gilderoy was unable to help but smile against Sirius’ mouth, humming low as he kissed him back, as if to imply ‘well done’. He had been there- what? All of five minutes? And he was already in a vice grip with the prettiest Gryffindor, the prettiest boy, he’d ever seen.

Was anyone else there anymore? Did it matter? He felt like he’d won something. Surely this was an accomplishment of some kind, indicative of what he was- what he could get, now that he was growing into himself a bit.

The rest of the world faded into something unimportant and ambiguous. They were at a lake? It didn’t matter. Other people having a good time? Sure. As far as Gilderoy was concerned, the universe began with him and ended with-

.

Gilderoy was unable to help but smile against Sirius’ mouth, humming low as he kissed him back, as if to imply ‘well done’. He had been there- what? All of five minutes? And he was already in a vice grip with the prettiest Gryffindor, the prettiest boy, he’d ever seen.

Was anyone else there anymore? Did it matter? He felt like he’d won something. Surely this was an accomplishment of some kind, indicative of what he was- what he could get, now that he was growing into himself a bit.

The rest of the world faded into something unimportant and ambiguous. They were at a lake? It didn’t matter. Other people having a good time? Sure. As far as Gilderoy was concerned, the universe began with him and ended with-

“…who are you?” Gilderoy asked against his lips, unwilling to make the universe any bigger.

@magicalmeee

In the electric bubble of their shared space, Sirius couldn’t help but be charmed by the question. He barely noticed the festivities around them, the world fading into nothing more than an ethereal, muted backdrop to this intimate moment.

His eyes locked onto Gilderoy’s, a playful gleam lighting up his gaze. “Who am I?” He repeated, a breathless echo, a murmur against Gilderoy’s lips. His heart pounded like a drum, matching the rhythm of the distant music, the rhythm of this mesmerising dance they were in.

“Sirius,” he whispered, his hand tightening ever so slightly on Gilderoy’s hip. “Just Sirius.”

His smile was soft, almost tender, as he added in a lower, huskier tone, “And right now, in this slice of eternity… I’m yours.”

With that, he leaned in, closing the space between them. It was a kiss as captivating as a supernova, as intimate as a shared secret whispered under a canopy of stars. In that moment, with Gilderoy, Sirius felt an echo of something vast and beautiful, like two distant stars whose light had travelled across time and space to meet, to illuminate the darkness together. Their world had shrunk to this point of contact, to this raw, thrilling connection. He was Sirius, just Sirius. But with Gilderoy, he felt like he could be something more, something spectacular.

For now, that was all he needed. That was all he wanted to be.

“And you? Who are you?”

.

His. Gilderoy raised his brow at the confident boy before him. He’d never had someone before, not with the implications that Sirius’ tone suggested. But he proved himself right, as Sirius leaned in to kiss him, and Gilderoy could not help himself- melting completely into the experience. He’d never been spoken to like that before, promised such a significant amount of intimacy. Gilderoy had kissed many people in that happy year- but never, in his young life long, had he been kissed like this. Gilderoy’s heart felt like it was going to beat so strongly it would become undone, as if he would loose his grip, his breath, his senses, his damned mind over the soft warmth of this boy’s hold on him, the way he moved.

It was so good, that Gilderoy wondered with a painful, greedy jolt, if this eternity would be enough for him? What if he wanted more than this? And then, for the first time in his life, Gilderoy felt sad that the beginning of something, the beginning of this, was already over. He had already walked down to the lake, made his first flirtations, and been well received. It was gone, something he would have to work to recall, if he’d ever be able to remember it at all.

Memory was something that Gilderoy resented. Legacy, on the other hand, was everything.

It caused him to snarl into the kiss, his softened posture transforming into one of ravenous greed as his hands curled into Sirius’ long hair, tangling themselves with purposeful hunger, unwilling to relent and separate, desiring Sirius to stay where Gilderoy felt he was needed most- before him.

Gilderoy didn’t push for more answers just as he had known, he was right, he didn’t want to know what he was involved in. But it wouldn’t take him long to put together the pieces once the news broke, he could only hope the other would keep this secret especially from Rita… and that he would know what side he was on. 

“I’ve lost quite a lot of blood…theres some out there in the hall. I’ve heard muggles die from gut shots you know,” his voice was distant, absent, he sounded far away even to his own ears. A casual observer looking over the situation. His eyes moved to Gilderoy’s hands which were now shaking, but for some reason he wasn’t as concern about that as he should be. 

“Rita lives here…she can’t see me,” he explained wearily, seeming to have expended all the effort he had which was a bit pathetic. The outrage in Gilderoy’s voice caused a soft smile to appear on his lips, liking that he wasn’t going to let him leave, that despite his fear he was going to do his best to help. It warmed him in a strange way. Gilderoy had him pressed down to the floor but he needn’t have bothered he had deduced he didn’t have the strength to go further, but he was lying on top of him now, close, his face full of panic and worry. 

He used his clean hand to fist in Gilderoy’s robe pulling him slightly closer, dragging his lips down to meet his, softly at first before he deepened it, a sense of urgency in it. Hell, if he was going out he would do it with a bang if Gilderoy ended up not being able to fix him. That was probably the blood loss talking. His hand reached into his hair stroking the silky locks before releasing his lips. “Not to be a backseat healer…but I would feel better if you’re eyes were open,” he breathed against his lips not sure if he should be worried.

"Yes, she does, so why did you come here?" Gilderoy hissed, eyes shining. "Why would you come here when you could have gone anywhere else- St. Mungo's? Or a fucking healers? Are you stupid? I thought you weren't stupid!"

Gilderoy's hands fell against Kieran's shoulders, fingers pushing against his skin more than they ought to, given Kieran's condition. He wanted to shake him, he wanted to help, he wanted to be in France instead of this, just anything except for the moment he was currently in. His heart felt like it was going to punch its way out of his chest. "Damn it- Kieran, damn you." he growled, seeing stars behind his eyelids, soft flashes, and he wished it was enough to distract him from all this.

And then with a sharp inhale, Gilderoy felt the front of his robe pulled into a firm grasp, dragged down with a jerk until his lips fell against Kieran's waiting mouth. Gilderoy felt his breath catch in his throat, his thoughts dim, as Kieran's hand pushed through his hair. He gasped against Kieran's lips, pin pricks rippling through his body as Gilderoy tried not to loose balance and lean too heavily against him. With a strange ache in his chest, the only thought that shot through Gilderoy's mind was that Kieran kissed very differently than he used to at school, so much more assured, so much more fierce.

He felt in a free fall, unable to parse what was going on, what he needed to do, his hands still shaking against Kieran's chest- Gilderoy felt all the more disoriented as Kieran broke this kiss to speak.

"Oooh-" Gilderoy growled, grimacing, he pulled away, straightening over him. Kieran was right, of course. His eyes should probably be open to cast any spell, but if he'd wanted a perfect heal he should have gone to a fucking professional. "Did you want help, or do you have a death wish?"

Maybe Kieran had just kissed him to take him out of his shock, maybe he really was so delirious from pain and blood loss that the dramatics were coming from a genuine place- Gilderoy didn't feel like he had time to form an opinion. With renewed vigor, Gilderoy flicked his wand towards Kieran's abdomen, and muttered "Epishkey!" with a tense flourish of his wand.

Gilderoy's eyes brightened as he watched the wound knit together, a surge of confidence and adrenaline rising in him, before the wound gushed with blood, as if freshly cut, covering Gilderoy's hands opaquely in Kieran's blood. "No-" his voice shook, eyes wide as he glanced to Kieran's face. "I'm sorry- no, no- I'll- I'll make it better- Episkey!" he pushed through the blind panic overtaking him, and saw with frail triumph that the spell had actually worked this time. As Gilderoy watched the wound heal over, it felt like all of his limbs had become leaden, his heart pounding in his ears. "Oh thank fucking Merlin-" Gilderoy cried, bowing over so that he pushed his brow against Kieran's chest. "It worked. I'm sorry that I couldn't- but it worked-" he felt hot tears rise in his eyes, and he held his breath in to disguise how very upset he was, hands grasping at Kieran tightly.

Kieran felt something wet spill on his chest, cold this time instead of the warmth seeping down his side. The smell hit his nose soon after and he decided it was gin, martini…where were the olives? To say Gilderoy looked shocked was an understatement and even in his addled state he found himself amused that the mask of careful composure had slipped and there was genuine unfiltered emotion. He didn’t blame him for staring at him for what seemed like forever, his appearance was probably quite shocking and the fact he had chosen to come here. Even he wasn’t sure why. “You missed my mouth,” he finally said his tone a little dazed as his non bloody hand patted at his chest. 

It was as if he was viewing everything through a bit of a haze the shock on Gilderoy’s face turning to one of panic his movements now frantic as he tried to decide what to do. He watched it all with mild curiosity while thoughts churned in the back of his head. But before any could fully form he felt himself being hoisted into the other’s arms, and pulled across the room. It was no small feat considering he wasn’t being very helpful at the moment, his frame was much larger and not easy to manevour. His back rested against something, a cupboard maybe as he looked up at Gilderoy seeing the splash of red across his stomach now too. 

“You don’t want to know what I did,” his voice was a whisper, afraid to let out a secret, comforted and afraid of where he was. His gaze settled on Gilderoy the lights shimmering behind him to give him a halo, his hair golden in the bright light. “You could kiss me in case I die,” his voice was an echo of his old teasing, his lips quirking in a crooked smile by reflex before wincing. Kieran’s eyes fell to Gilderoy’s lips for a moment, remembering late nights snuggled in his bed, a few stolen kisses… His eyes flicked around the room having never been here before. And some of those thoughts crept back in. Rita lived here too, why did Gilderoy have to live with a reporter. He couldn’t stay here, what if she came back and saw him? The questions, she would draw the lines, she was there… it wouldn’t take much. He tried to use a hand to stabilise himself to get up but it slipped in the blood that had since pooled.

"Oh Merlin-" Gilderoy moaned, that didn't sound good. It wasn't untrue though, Gilderoy didn't really want to know what Kieran had done, he just wanted the consequences to go away. With a haggard sigh, he started thinking through every healing spell he knew, wondering which one would be best for this ambiguous wound, and any others he might have.

At Kieran's suggestion, Gilderoy froze. "In case you die?" he croaked, mouth falling open with horror. He looked down at Kieran's body, hands beginning to shake a little. It didn't seem like his bleeding was getting worse- but what did Gilderoy know? Nothing. At the moment, he knew absolutely nothing. He was considering trying to message Ader, or even Rita, or better yet his mother, when he noticed Kieran trying to get up.

"W- What are you doing?" Gilderoy asked shakily, eyes wide as he leaned forward and held himself over Kieran. "Stop it- stop moving." he frowned. "You're not trying to leave, are you?!" Gilderoy asked, outraged, his voice rising.

It was easier to be angry than it was afraid, for the moment. With a firm hand again Kieran's sternum, he kept Kieran pressed to the floor, grabbing his wand from his robe. What was it? Emipska? E... Ellipses? No-

"Agnetha Fältskog give me strength..." Gilderoy whined, glancing back at his martini across the room with longing before returning his focus back to Kieran. He did not feel like a dancing queen at the moment. "Fuck- fuck fuck fuck okay here we go." Gilderoy said, wincing as he held his wand up to Kieran's wound, eyes squeezed tightly closed.

While still keeping her silence, she finally looked down to carefully flip her folder open and make a show of reading through the compact writing on the page with a tap of her finger on the tabletop in a steady constant rhythm. Gilderoy was definitely intriguing in the manner that his outward appearance was one thing, but there was something Amelia couldn't quite put her finger on that had her on edge. Maybe it was the almost eager assistance he offered, but that was surely just her paranoia rearing its head. Right?

"Of course. Barring the fact that a refusal means that I'd have just taken the avenue of the courts," she said lightly, waving her hand as she sat back in her chair, crossing her legs and giving him a wry smile, "And I don't think either of us would like that headache. Sitting lords, solicitors, legal charters, subpoenas...the press. Dirty business, that."

"And for the record, Mr. Lockhart...its Auror Bones."

But what had that been about the courts? He was definitely complying. He was complying about as hard as anyone could- so why was she acting like she wanted him to feel intimidated? And why was it working? Her eyes were just a bit too sharp.

"I haven't done anything wrong." Gilderoy blurted out, hand still against his chest, he leaned forward in his chair. But for a long moment, he couldn't say anything else, his words caught in his throat as his mind began to race. Why was he panicking? He never panicked in front of anyone, even when Ader got a little impassioned, it was never something he couldn't handle. "Listen." Gilderoy cleared his throat, looking into Amelia's face his blue eyes wide. For a moment, he thought he had collected himself, but as soon as he parted his lips to come up with something that would get him out of this room the fastest, his mind began to race again. "When that guy told me to watch my six- how was I supposed to know what that meant? I- I know I seem worldly, but I am 19 after all, and I didn't know he owned the club! He was dressed down- really down, if I'd been sober he would have been a 4 at best, at best."

There was a strange ringing in his ears as the adrenaline started to wear off, he hadn’t noticed the pain before. If he had he would have been set as Mary used to be a healer and would no doubt be able to fix him up without a problem. The plan had not gone off without a hitch, death eaters showing up and a fight ensuing but they had got what they came for and that was what mattered. He had been handed the parcel before speeding away with Mary dodging spells flying their way as May fired back as he was the better flyer. Apparently, he wasn’t good enough though as one had gotten him, his hand coming away bloody as he touched his side. They had dropped the cup at the safe house before dispersing in case anyone was looking for them, they needed an alibi for where they had been. St. Mungo's was out as they would be looking to question anyone who was injured now. He should have gone home or gone back and found Mary but he did neither of those things instead choosing the worst possible option.

Apparating wasn’t the best plan in his state but he managed it and slumped against a door he had not yet seen but knew who lay behind it. He didn’t so much as knock as fall against the door, sliding down to a sitting position. “Great plan,” he muttered to himself wincing at the movement. The door opened and he fell backwards looking up at a familiar blonde. “Do you think my tattoo’s alright? I think it just missed it,” he commented dryly his hand moving to raise his shirt slightly but lacking the will to sit up and look. His hand moved to the gash trying to approximate where it was, it was well below his ribs so it should be safe. It was then he let out a curse remembering who Gilderoy had said his roommate was, Rita… he had seen her at the bank so she would be there for a little while with questioning, but what happened when she was finished and came back to a bloody splotch on her doorstep? He needed to get out of here before he was exposed this would be just the story she was looking for. “I shouldn’t be here... I need to move,” his breath hitched as he tried to sit up his face twisted in pain sure he felt another injury he had yet to find.

Pizza. Delivery pizza. Even though it was the most muggle thing on earth, there was something so magical about it. He'd never of let himself indulge in the pastime in front of Rita, but since that wasn't a worry, Gilderoy had ran to the nearest payphone and called the local parlor as soon as she'd left.

"Where they play the right music-" Gilderoy sang as he approached the door, tucking his wand into his robes. "Getting in the swing-" he continued, unlocking the front door. "You come to look for a-" with a gasp, Gilderoy stepped back, his martini splashing onto Kieran's chest as he fell through Gilderoy's front door. King... the song continued, as Gilderoy's eyes widened at the sight before him, his eyes darting between Kieran's upside down face and the bloody gouge at his side.

For a long moment, all Gilderoy could do was stare, still holding his martini, as Dancing Queen played on in the background, and Kieran cracked some joke about a tattoo.

"Good g- Kieran what did you-" Gilderoy shifted his weight frantically, before glaring at the martini in his hands as if accusing it for still being there. Hastily, he set it down on the nearest surface, before bending down and pulling Kieran into his arms, not unflinchingly. He groaned under Kieran's weight- he had well surpassed Gilderoy in height and it showed. He tried not to think about the hot, wet feeling against his own stomach and he pulled him inside as far as the kitchen, and gently sitting him down.

"W- What do I do?" he asked, flicking his wand at the door so that it slammed closed and locked. "What did you do?" he asked, panicked.

The statement was quite genuine it seemed but trust Gilderoy to shrug it off as it was nothing. “Looks like you have quite an open mind then,” a crooked smile appeared on his lips. He liked to think it was due to his suggestion but knew that was as close as Gilderoy would come to admitting it.

“Yes, you heard right,” he confirmed seeing the others face brighten slightly. “It’s been a long time, can’t let you wander out of my midst already, who knows when I might see you again. We have a lot to catch up on.” He knew the boy back at school and he wondered if how much he had changed or if there was still some of him left. And he was worried hearing of the new company he was keeping.

“Good to hear, and you can always give me a hard time back at my place,” he assured him with a chuckle. He heard rustling in the back room which meant Lucian had arrived. “A moment,” he said before ducking into the back room. He had a short discussion with his brother and set Sonic down in the cage he had back there knowing Lucian would look in on him and bring him home. He emerged from the back room and from behind the counter to Gilderoy’s side. “Ready?”

But part of Gilderoy also knew that he shouldn't be afraid of how Kieran thought or felt about him. He just couldn't help it, it was how he felt with anyone who'd managed to get close enough. He felt assured as Kieran insisted on spending more time with him, some small, earnest part of himself flattered by the attention and eagerness.

"Ahah." he shook his head at the flirtation, not seeming aware of how his hand rose to his mouth, absentmindedly biting his own knuckles. Gilderoy nodded to him as Kieran asked for a moment and ducked away, taking a few breaths to recenter himself. It wasn't any big thing- to reconnect with him, right? Kieran wouldn't find anything in Gilderoy that he wouldn't like to see?

He jumped a little as Kieran reappeared, a hopeful, enthusiastic smile brightening his face. "As I ever will be."