[insert something not lame here]

god is real

holy fuckin’ shit i lost the ability to process language for two seconds

This man goes beyond dummy thicc wtf

He's so thicc the clap of his thighs keeps toppling the gods off Mount Olympus. I'm in awe.

there’s only one way i want to end this year and that’s drunk 

anyway here’s my gay vampire movie. a 17th century vampire living in a lighthouse for years falls in love with a 90s surfer. plot isn’t important what’s important is the vampire thinking ‘dude’ and ‘radical’ are terms of endearment so it’s like *vampire voice* my dude …… how do i preheat the oven

I may be one horny mother fucker but I’m also one romantic mother fucker

butches don’t dress like men. men dress like butches and they do it wrong. signed god herself

Me after two glasses of wine: WHOM wants to see me NAKED