stay alive.

dicks out or die dude. you either dicks out or you die

bag of wees

weed

do not reblog this

I meant to say bag of weed

[Dad: Cookie… I’m pretty sure I left my jacket on the back of the chair, NOT in your bed. Cookie… can I have my jacket? Hmm? Can I have my jacket? C'mon. Here, let me have my jacket. Here, this is- this is my jacket, okay. Ah… myyy jacket. Cooookie, you’re not asleep. I KNOW you’re not asleep. This is my jacket. Y– *snickers* Here, here, llllet me have it. Pleeease? Can I have my jacket back? Please??? Little loaf– Cookie: *meow of protest* Dad: *laughing* Aw, c'mon, little loaf, give me my jacket!]

Your dad is the sweetest man alive. This genuinely did cheer me up a whole lot!

dragon age 2 was entirely about relationships and the story was focused on hawke building a family (unless u were a jerk) and if bioware causes any more suffering in My household they will hear from my lawyer

Jasper is making the weirdest fucking noise. He sounds like an angry garbage disposal.

(Rebecca Sugar herself said all Gems use female pronouns, just a note, a fun fact)

Jasper is my cat

my dad works for the white house and he just told me that apparently the government banned kissanime on the white house wifi cause officials were watching it like, a noticeable amount

wait, I just mentioned this to him again and he said “no, they didn’t block kissanime from the White House, they banned it from the entire Department of Defense”

James T. Kirk & Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy