imagine no restrictions

so now that tumblr is back to being uncommon like it was when I was 15 (12 years ago...) maybe I should blog my feelings? Looking back on posts when I was younger makes me sad but at the same time I don’t keep a journal and it’s nice to have a tangible memory snapshot.

Ok where to start?

I’m 27 next month, and I also finish my Bachelor’s Degree in Kinesiology. I’m currently waiting to hear back from a university in the UK to see if I got into their masters program in Sport Psychology.

COVID has been active in Canada for a year. This is a super privileged thing to say but it’s been one of the best years of my life in terms of growth. I did a lot of inner healing work.  I’ve changed a lot of times in this life, and so drastically, but this one felt like I was arriving somewhere. Like I’m HERE, you know?

Being isolated and alone has been incredible. I hated it. I’m so extroverted and willing to distract myself with things and others and being forced to deal with my shit was kind of like “hey dude you’ve got a lot of suppressed shit - lets deal with it together xoxo love isolation”

Anyways. What else?

Never felt more like a person. I love myself so much it’s ridiculous. And I don’t even feel the need to justify or explain. There’s just such a peace inside of me. 

It’s such a stark contrast if you scroll all the way to my oldest posts I HATED myself. I wanted to die, I was so depressed.  I self harmed, I restricted calories. And its baffling to me because I don’t even know how I got out of it. I don’t know what happened after turning 22. The year of 2015/2016 kickstarted growth in ways I didn’t even realize it was taking me.