-i am just carbon and bad timing

when a couth mutual sees your uncouth post..

You can give a cat a pill 3 times and then they will have your move set memorized and will animation cancel a swallow

your daughter is a pleasure to have on the dashboard

sorry i came back wrong do you still wanna hit it

how the hell do people work full time AND work out. and also eat. i feel like a dvd player

oh that’s my mutual in law

What a lovely little post you have here! *Drinks up its wordjuice to add it to my lexicon like some form of Vernacula*

*Sinks my teeth into your vocabillaries*

they’re saying the suffering is going to amount to something. any day now

nothing will save you like a moment of shared amusement with strangers on public transport

Turn the sound on, the only thing better than this dog’s joy is that people stopped what they were doing to share his joy, and you can hear them all groan when the water dies down….

I love browsing cover-up tattoo stuff when every once in a while there's someone asking "how do I cover up this unspeakably idiotic thing" and people are like "please do not cover that up, that's fucking amazing." You just have "shrimps is bugs" written on your leg now. That's your legacy.

Have you seen that one weasel tattoo that someone was asking coverup advice for? One of the best tattoos I've seen.

It's so fucking beautiful I'm in tears. Laughing so hard I'm crying but what difference is that really.