bad habits

He hadn’t been back here since that whole...incident. After that, he tried to stay inside. It was too chaotic, too overwhelming. He didn’t like the idea that people expected him to help others. He wanted to live his life the way he wanted – mist or no mist. 

Now, Joseph found himself needing bandages. So he walked to the store because it was less than a mile from the White Stallion. He walked in, forgoing a cart or a basket. His eyes drifted over the shelves. They were in pristine condition, like nothing had ever happened. He could still see the broken glass and the people running wild and the injured boy lying on the ground. He walked with purpose in steps, grabbed a box of bandaids, turning to checkout. He almost ran into someone. 

He looked at the door, a small frown plastered slightly on his face. His hands were grasped behind his back, the shirt clasped tightly in his grip. He didn’t think he’d ever be back here. Once it was safe for him to move back to Underland, he packed up as quickly as humanly possible and fled home. He’d been lounging around ever since, only leaving to go to work. He never thought he’d miss his shitty apartment that much, but it was his and that’s what mattered. It was his own space that was shared with nobody, and he basked in that. 

Joseph hadn’t bothered unpacking when he got home. He mainly cycled through three worn t-shirts, so he’d taken those out, but that was about it. It had been a little over a week, and it was his day off. He finally decided to unpack and get settled back in. He was putting his stuff away, AC/DC blasting over the stereo. He pulled a shirt out and stared at it. He didn’t recognize it. In fact, it looked like nothing he would ever wear. He threw it on his bed while he continued unpacking. When he was done, he turned his attention back to the shirt, trying to rack his brain as to where he got it. With a sigh, he knew exactly where it had come from. Gio. It was definitely his. 

Maggie knew how to handle people panicking or freezing up, and she knew how to handle the public. Even if she wanted to snap at the man it wouldn’t help. So she mustered all her patience and pushed away the irritation at a refusal to help. This kid needed her more than she needed an argument. 

“It’s going to be okay, alright?” She told the crying teenager, “We’re going to help get you stable. I’m a doctor, I’m going to help you.”

Maggie was already pulling her hair back and pulling off her coat to use as a pillow of the boy. It had been two years since she’d practiced medicine like this but it didn’t take long before all of the training kicked in. 

“I need you to get me some supplies, please. I need plastic gloves, a sewing kit, antiseptics– peroxide if you can find some, tweezers, towels if possible, the best pain meds you can find, something I can tie around my face to keep my own germs from his body, and I think– sorry, sweetie what’s your name?” She paused to ask the kid, pushing his hair back from his face as she waited for his reply before parroting his name back, “Mason wouldn’t mind if you could sit by his side and hold his hand.”

It’s not that he couldn’t help, but he didn’t want to help. None of this was his fault. He didn’t hurt the guy, so it didn’t make sense that he would have to help him. He just wanted to leave before the mist got strong. Sure it was sad this guy got hurt, but they could just call an ambulance. It wasn’t Joseph’s job to help.

He didn’t think she was going to let him off the hook. He was worried she would chase him down and force him to help. He could use this as a way to distract her and then make a break for it. It sounded like a pretty solid plan. He looked back at the boy, and he was just happy it wasn’t himself on the ground. 

He stared at her, shocked at her list of demands. That was so much work. Did she really expect him to remember everything she just said? And she wanted him to hold his hand? That was taking things a step too far. He was not in the business of comforting people. “I’ll see what I can find,” Joseph grumbled. 

@maddoxjoseph​

Fear made people stupid. Maggie had always known this. It was one of the fundamental truths she had learned in boot camp. In order to lead in times of crisis, one had to be able to put the fear aside and look at the situation with clear eyes and a level head. Even when it felt impossible. Especially when it felt impossible.

She had been at the CVS to get the sort of essentials you couldn’t find at Beanstalks– tampons, deodorant, cotton swaps– when the raids had begun. Fear made people stupid. People in Grimmbrook had every right to feel afraid. When the displays guarding razors, alcohol, and other controlled substances started breaking and people started grabbing things, Maggie could almost understand it. Until some poor teenager got pushed over, tripping and stumbling backwards into a pile of glass shards. 

The years as a field medic kicked in immediately. While the raiders ignored her and the kid in favor of the shelves, her eyes snagged on someone else crouching behind a shelf with wide panic in their eyes. 

“Hey.” She said, looking the panicked man directly in the eyes and using her best mediator-nurse voice. “I need your help, right now, or this kid’s going to bleed out on the floor. The mist settles back down in ten minutes, and while we’re safe to stay here, there’s no time to call an ambulance. So you need to help me, okay?”

**

Joseph was out shopping just to do something. He hated being stuck. It wasn’t like he had anywhere he needed to go, but he didn’t like the idea of it. He liked knowing he could go out when he wanted and do whatever he wanted. It was comforting to have that freedom, and he hadn’t expected it to be ripped away, not even when the mist moved into Neverland. He did his best to ignore it and continue with his life. He didn’t care for that disruption. So, every time the mist was lighter, he was practically running out to go do something. 

He had been minding his own business when he heard glass shatter. He looked in the direction of the noise before returning to the products in front of him. He’d definitely have to make his rounds to that area after it calmed down. He wasn’t surprised to see the looting, and he was unharmed, so he didn’t really care about it. 

He was walking towards the front of the store when someone shoved him backward. That upset him because he had nothing to do with this. It wasn’t like he was even in the way. He crouched down to pick up the items that had fallen out of his hand.

****

“If you change your mind, just remember to give me notice of it.” Gio was delighted to hear that Joseph wouldn’t be having anyone over, even if there was the alternative side to that. If Joseph didn’t have anyone over, that would mean more of his time would be free to try and take Luke’s time away from him. Without others to really distract him, Gio was going to have an impossible time keeping the two distanced from one another. Seemed there was a bit of a double-edged sword there for him to deal with – not that he was going to be able to right then. No, his best course of action was just to make sure that Luke didn’t have time for the other man without making it obvious. Yeah, he could do that…maybe.

Joseph was…far more considering than he had expected the man to be. Sure, maybe it was his own bias that had been coloring his views for a bit now, but even trying to get those aside, Gio hadn’t expected him to be so welcome to the rules of the house, nor had he expected Joseph to be so proactive on making sure he didn’t do anything to upset anyone. It was stupid, but this bothered him a bit. For quite some time, he had figured that he was the only one of Luke’s friends who was moderately decent, and for the most part that had been confirmed. Never mind that it had been confirmed by the fact that Gio didn’t really know any of Luke’s other friends – it had been confirmed.

Now, here was this new person who seemed reasonable enough and polite enough to be a bit more self-aware of his situation and the expectations of him. “You don’t have to label, exactly, unless you have something in particular that you wish to preserve. I just ask that things in the refrigerator stay organized and items are properly stored. If not, we risk an offensive odor or a mess on hand – neither of which I want to deal with. Alright, if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where your room has been set up.”

***

He didn’t feel like he was experiencing this, but observing it from an objective point on view. This all felt so surreal to him that he didn’t even know how to process it. He saw Gio as nothing more than a competition to Luke’s friendship. Before, he put up with him to hang out with Luke. Now, he was willingly putting himself in a situation where he had to be around Gio fairly frequently. It certainly wasn’t his ideal way to spend his time. He would have rather stayed at home, but it wasn’t worth the risk. So here he was, standing in his enemy’s kitchen, nodding politely and engaging with what he had to say. He could deal with the situation being uncomfortable, but it was just an odd thing to happen.

He reminded himself this would be a good time to take advantage of getting to know the homeowner. Joseph only wanted to get to know him for selfish reasons, not because he actually cared about him. He was still in the process of formulating a plan to get Gio away from Luke. Getting him to go on a date was still his best option, but he needed some backup plans too in case that fell through. He needed to get to know Gio to find out what made him tick and what he was passionate about and use those things to distract him. 

“I mean, I know but this just seems… like I’m asking a lot.” Tyler said, feeling a bit sheepish now that it was in the open. He already had a few modifications. Asking for more felt selfish. Even if he did need them and they’d make things better, he ought to be able to work with what he already had.

“You are good at what you do.” Tyler said earnestly, a slight tinge to the corners of his ears. It was why he hadn’t waited for the dumb bubble and the mist to clear so he could go somewhere else for these. Joseph did good work. He trusted Joseph to do things properly. “I’ve never had any problem with any of your work.”

“I don’t think so. You’re just trying to make your life better.” He couldn’t fault him for that. He just wanted a comfortable life as did Joseph. He didn’t typically chase what he wanted though, so at least Tyler was being bold with his request. It was going to be hard, but he didn’t think it would be impossible. 

Well, she’d never wanted to be a psychologist, if that’s what he was implying. It had never crossed Ariela’s mind. Neither did the need to help people. When she did it was often on impulse; something she did before her mind had time to catch up to her body, to catch up to the offer to do something tumbling out of her mouth. She’d been told it was more trouble than it was worth, sometimes. But she didn’t mind that she got ahead of herself like that. It hadn’t led to anything bad yet. 

“Maybe,” she told him. “I guess I just like to listen. Besides, people tell me amazing stories and that’s always for free.” She smiled at him, light and easy though it dropped a little when she figured she wasn’t going to get one in return. Oh well. She’d tried. 

She tilted her head as he ran his hands along the bar, waiting. It seemed like he wanted to say something else, which piqued her interest. Especially considering he seemed to have a hard time saying it. And when he did a sympathetic look crossed her face. 

“Oh,” she said gently. If she were being honest, she was wading down a river without a paddle. Ariela didn’t make many enemies. At least she didn’t think so. At least she hoped so. If she had she knew they weren’t hanging around the people she liked to call friends, as many as they were. Her frame of reference was a puddle. “Do you think they know how you feel? Both of them.”

***

He stared at her, a bewildered expression on his face. Joseph tried to remind himself that everyone was different, but he couldn’t imagine willingly wanting to hear peoples’ stories all day long. That sounded terrible to him. He hated small talk. He was good at it, but he never enjoyed it. He didn’t understand why she would choose this as a profession, but he supposed someone needed to fill this job.

“Good for you.” His words weren’t even sarcastic. Despite his feelings toward it all, he was a bit impressed that she did enjoy that. As long as he got served drinks, he wouldn’t complain or openly question her. 

He watched her as she watched him. He stopped his hands, and let them rest where they laid on the bar. He could tell she was trying to read him. He had already spilled a lot of his business tonight, and it didn’t concern her. Another part of him was desperate to talk about it. He kept his mouth shut all day long, and he finally got a chance to say something to practically a stranger. It wasn’t like she knew him or the people he was talking about. 

Every time that Danielle felt she could find a way around it all or even persevere through the emotional turmoil that she’d cast on herself, she only found herself back in the thick of it. It felt as if even the logical parts of her were giving up hope and relied heavily on the defenses that had been instilled in her after years of being raised by only her brothers. They were all she had, them and Joseph at one point despite the distance between them now that reminded her that they weren’t family. They hadn’t ever been, which was why a younger version of herself had created this version of him in her head that he would never match up to and shouldn’t, why would he?

It was her fault. She’d done that to herself and tied up the bits of her heart back then on this idea of someone that could see through the worst that they’d all been through and still be there at the end of the day. Someone that wouldn’t leave. But everyone did, eventually. Even her brothers had left her alone for months on end, crying out to no one on the empty nights when she was surrounded by so many strangers that would only make the loneliness stretch until it became unbearable any longer. But there was a tendril of hope, to see them again and find that she wasn’t completely lost to this world and prepared for the next.

But nothing prepared her for seeing him again, instantly back to a few years prior when he could make her smile and forget her worries for a short amount of time but it counted for everything. Again, that was on her. She put too much on their relationship, making it one sided that it was her heart that broke that day and kept breaking when she realized that it wasn’t as easily fixed as forgetting him. “You keep telling yourself that, maybe one day you’ll believe it,” she replied flatly, trying to temper out the heat in her earlier words but failing miserably. She hated that things were easy for the two of them, that they could find a common ground while she couldn’t so much as meet his gaze without feeling everything crack under the pressure of her pain.

         "I haven’t given one. He’s my brother, they both are, and you – “ Danielle glanced away with a heaviness in her tone of voice that she wasn’t sure what it would sound like if she kept speaking about it. "Just don’t fuck him over again. He might have forgiven you but that won’t always be the case if you hurt him.”

He could feel his temper rising. Finally, he had the chance to lash out when attacked. In the past, he had been cowardly. He was ruled by the flight response. He would run as fast and as far as he could because he couldn’t face his problems. Now, he had the chance to stay and fight. Danielle was standing right in front of him, and it seemed like she was trying to provoke him. This was a small battle to choose, one where he felt he could prove himself. 

After all their previous run-ins, he didn’t doubt they would be seeing each other again. They couldn’t get away from each other. Somedays, he was glad about this because it gave him a chance to prove himself. Others, it was the worst thing possible because nothing he said or did seemed to be enough. Deep down, he never felt like he wasn’t enough. He was always falling short of something. He had these romantic notions of life, these daydreams of what a great, strong guy he was. They were just tricks of his imagination. He would never be like that outside of his mind.

This was his chance to try to be someone who didn’t flee, who stood up for what he believed. For once in his life, he could try not to be selfish. He felt like Luke was being attacked too. He didn’t only have to defend himself, but he had to defend his friend too. Now, he could start making better decisions, no matter how hard it was. This could be the way to show Dani he had changed. Joseph tended to act spineless, so standing up for someone, especially someone that wasn’t himself, was a way to show he had changed. People said actions spoke louder than words, and this was his way of demonstrating that. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” His hands were clenched into fists at his side. “You don’t know anything and Luke and I’s relationship because you don’t listen to the things I say – the apologies I give.” As always, he was trying to shift the blame onto someone else. 

“Umm…a few months now,” she said wiping the tears she hadn’t realized were cascading down her face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you Joe.” Isabel had been holding it in for so long as she waited for Mauricio to process his illness and make a proper decision for himself. He’d come to it this past week and now it was time for her to come to terms with it. Her father wanted to be left alone and didn’t care to be a lab rat for nobody. He wanted his humanity to remain intact and didn’t feel like being deteriorated by some medication that may or may not save his life. Taking a deep breath she nodded at his question. “Yup. You have $25,000 coming your way in the future. He loved your grandfather so much and sees you like a son. So he wants you and the business to be okay.” Her father often joked if they weren’t so close to the Maddox family that he would have placed a bid to have his Isabel be married off to Joseph, knowing full well that he was a man of integrity and a hard worker. That much Isabel could agree with undoubtedly. “I mean if you want to blow it all away in Vegas that’s always an option,” she joked trying to lighten the situation a bit. 

***

As Joseph was explaining how the transaction went, he couldn’t help but smirk. What he thought was a bump on the road (which it somehow was still) actually worked on his leverage this time. “That’s genius, man. I knew you could get this done,” he reassured the other, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he laughed at the words. Any tactic was valid on his books. “Let me know when we can meet this guy and seal the deal. Need to get the car out without drawing too much attention.” He needed to move the car to a neutral place, nothing that would tag the Seven nor their buildings into it, and of course, avoiding the police as well. “If you’re free tonight, we can go celebrate now.”