An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Transferring a lot of my work onto ao3 - I’ll still be posting on ff.net though! Check out my stuff (:
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@madamefist
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Transferring a lot of my work onto ao3 - I’ll still be posting on ff.net though! Check out my stuff (:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.
[ID: tumblr tags reading: *has character development* Woah (all caps)!!! not yet pal /end ID]
how do you feel abt the finale?? very concerned for your well-being (and mine💔)
My feelings are complicated. When I first got spoiled for Jax abstracting and Caine returning I was completely disappointed. When I saw it in theaters I liked it more than I thought I would but my feelings were still heavily mixed. After reflecting on it for two weeks I've settled somewhere on "this makes sense narratively and thematically but I cannot help but feel frustrated and dissatisfied and a little depressed".
The whole show is a little messy, yes. There are plot points that kinda go nowhere and arcs that get sidelined. I loved a contained and limited series with a set ending but I think we needed more time. Not 5 more seasons, but definitely more than 9 episodes.
But the main thing I struggle with accepting is Jax's abstraction. He was so fucking close. He was gonna be there later. They weren't letting him wander off. If he had hung on for just a little longer his situation would have improved markedly. Maybe he could have begun to undo years of repression. Maybe he could have made amends. Shit, he would have been able to have sex too. This frustrates me to no fucking end. It could have easily gone a different way.
But I think that's the point. TADC is an absurdist story at heart and because of that it needs to show what happens when instead of accepting things as they are and choosing to live purposefully despite your life's meaninglessness, you choose to repress and betray yourself. You choose to live in fear and allow that fear to make decisions for you. Decisions that hurt other people. Jax is a representation of embracing nihilism. There are people in real life who do the exact same thing every single day. That's why it's so important to continuously find reasons to choose yourself, to choose to seek things to look forward to, even if it's just a nice cup of tea. To choose to try to understand others and let them understand you. It's a powerful message and it's one I don't think I've really seen before in modern media. It's just also a very painful one.
THIS. Someone verbalised my feelings better than I could on the TADC ending. Thank you 🫡
I want to re-watch The Amazing Digital Circus but I don't know if I'm ready to put myself through the heartache again yet. I know I will watch it again anyway. 😭
Now that's a chapter that heals the soul!!!! 😭😭😭 I'm so glad we can finally put Esmé behind us!!
So much happened that I don't even know where to start, so let's start with my favorites: the Reds. So, Brick is a "Pristini" now! Interesting! Where did you get that word from? English isn't my first language, but I don't think it's an English word. I also found what Brick read interesting: "Once a Pristini, the former Demon will lose all but a hint of their demonic abilities." Okay, I think I got my answer about his slight resistance to heat (it was kind of mentioned by Blossom in Choices) and his supposed visions of the future when he sleeps. And we got an answer about his immunity too. He's completely immune, while Blossom has a level of protection against Demons' powers, but not complete immunity. However, Blossom can kill Demons just by touching them. So, there are pros for both Blossom and Brick. I still want to learn more about Angels and "Pristinis" (if there is still more about them to learn). I hope there will be more facts to share about them in the next chapter(s).
What almost made me cry, though, was Blossom. The way she was broken after failing to save Esmé... It made me think of what you said before. Were the Reds the couple you were talking about when you said you had originally planned to break them up too? 🥲💔 If the Reds were indeed the ones you were talking about, then I have one thing to say: LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! 😭
As for the Greens, I'm so happy they finally made up! 😭💚 However, there's still that kiss with Cody! I'm both scared and excited for the next chapter. Ashleigh will definitely post the picture, and Cody will make a fuss over Buttercup "going back to the one who cheated on her." I want both of them to face KARMA! Especially Cody! He completely ruined his chances (if he ever had any) with Holly. I hope Holly decides she can do better and leaves him for good. I'm so pissed at him that I don't think there's any redemption for him anymore...
And let's not forget the Professor. Now, him calling Professor Winter makes sense. But why was he calling his mom? Did he talk to her about him "having a girlfriend" while he was under Esmé's "cerebrokinesis" (that's what it's called, right?), or did something happen off-screen that he needs to apologize for? I can't remember him contacting his mother. Did he simply want to vent to her, for example?
There's still one thing that isn't clear to me, though. How come Esma knows more than Otis about the Angels and "Pristinis"? Is it because she's one of Him's favorites, so he teaches her more than the others, or is there something else? And then there's Christoph. He seems to know more than Otis too. And another thing: what's the deal with both Esmérelda and Christoph? Why are they so loyal to Him? Do they love what they are? Do some Demons actually like being... well, demons? Or is it just Him manipulating/brainwashing them until they submit to him?
Once again, a fantastic chapter. I hope the next one will be uploaded "soonish." You did say you're good through Chapter 12. Again, I don't want to pressure you, but I really want to know what will happen with the drama involving the Greens! xD And I want to read more about the Reds too. Thanks again for sharing this story with us. Take care! 🙏🏻
Ahh thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🥹 So Pristini - it literally just means 'former' in latin. I couldn't find a word for the type of being I was looking for sooo I turned to latin 😅 Yes, it was the Reds that were supposed to split in Prophecy. It was only temporary - but I just can't do it. And it's not even about being "fan service'y" and keeping them together just because I like them together, or I know people who read do. Like I said previously, it felt forced when I came back to my original plans, and like a bit of a slap in the face to all they've been through. I feel like it's more interesting to see a couple go through difficulties but get through it together rather than showing some rough times and having them immediately part ways.. I know it's spoiler-y to say this, but rest assured, they're not going to be going through a break up any time soon! Not to mention it would just be too much after the Greens parting ways briefly. To then split the Reds up not long after, it feels cheap... So yeah, don't worry, I am leaving them alone 😅 So the Professor called his Mum, because at the end of the day, even though she is a nightmare, she is still his mother. And I suppose, for some of us, reaching out to a parent in hard times is a natural act. He called her because he was sad and upset and processing and just wanted to vent. Even though he knows his story will be talk of her neighbourhood, even though he knows she won't be able to resist spreading what had happened far and wide (with some ad libbing, I'm sure), sometimes talking to your Mum is what you need.. For some of us, anyway. I guess at his weakest moments he finds himself reaching out to her, then later regretting it..! Otis knows a lot. Otis picks and chooses what he shares with Brick and his brothers. Otis knows he's being watched. Otis knows he risks a lot when he does anything for Brick. But maybe he's a little sadistic, and has been a Demon for too long, and kinda enjoys the risk. And I guess that answers your question about Esmérelda and Christoph, too. Maybe they've been Demons for too long, too. Maybe they have learnt to love their chains. Maybe I don't wanna give too much away 😬😉 Thanks so much for reading! I will update sometime in July! 🫡

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I literally love your works SO much. You’re amazing. 💚
Ahh thank you! I appreciate that sooo much! You've made my day 🥹
Are you thinking of continuing “Break the Cycle” any time soon? Or are you finishing other works first?
Hi! I will return to Break The Cycle for sure. It's on my to do list. It's all planned out, I just need to find the time to knuckle down and write it 😅
Being a writer is wild because one minute you’re convinced you’re a genius and the next you’re googling ‘synonyms for walk’ like you’ve never used language before.
butch n buttercup
Title: Prophecy Rating: T Chapters: 10/? Summary: In their final year of high school, Team X will face unavoidable highs and lows - the woes of being super powered, and teenage. They'll share firsts, lasts, and will have to navigate their way through deception, manipulation and inevitably heartbreak. Him is still an underlying threat in their lives, as are the mysterious prophecies he lives by..
Chapter 10: ‘Can I have a selfie instead?’ snippet
Within half an hour, Buttercup found herself laid out on an inflatable pool mattress, clad in one of Sara’s bikini sets with a second iced coffee in hand. She’d found a black two-piece that had tie sides that she’d managed to make fit her pretty well, and a pair of her likely-designer sunglasses. A pizza had been ordered (she'd ordered a meat feast, which surely ticked the protein box?), she had music playing on Sara’s outdoor sound system - now all that was left to do was relax.
The raven haired teen planned to block out everything: school and the fact she should have been there cramming for her final few months there. The Professor, and his effective disownment of her. Butch, and his unfaithfulness - that Esmé was maybe behind. Esmé - just Esmé in her entirety.
She wasn’t going to think about any of it. She was going to float on that inflatable, dip her toes in the water, listen to music and chill.
At least, that had been her plan until she’d heard footsteps approaching the front of Sara’s house. The green puff cocked a brow, pushing the sunglasses up onto her head to peer at the backyard gate - could it be her pizza already? She’d only just ordered it, surely it hadn’t gotten there that fast?
She pulled herself poolside, and got out to investigate, placing her iced coffee down and fixing the sunglasses back on her face.
The gate opened and she came face to face with the last person she’d been thinking of, and the last person she wanted to see: Esmé.
She immediately threw her shield up instinctively, just in case all this mind control stuff was legit. Maybe this would give her some sort of protection from it.
Closing the gate behind her, Esmé turned to face the green puff with a kind smile on her face. “Buttercup, sweetie, I think we really need to talk.”
You can read Prophecy here and here 🖤

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🩷🩵💚Powerpuff Girls x Rowdyruff Boys❤💙💚
"WHICH you won't have to wait too long for. I have chapter 10 all ready to go 😊 In fact I am good up to chapter 12. It's just beyond that I need to get to work on! "
WAIT! You have chapter 10 ready to go?! So, we will get an update... like, this month (Jun)????!!! Please say it is so!! 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😂 I really don't want to pressure you, but I'm so DYING to read the next chapter, you have no idea!! 😂😭 But seriously, I don't want to rush you, if the chapter still need proofreading and whatnot then take your time. Otherwise! Hand it over!!! 👈🏻 (joking 😂)
"I may write a post about my internal struggles plot-wise with this fic - maybe it'll help 🤷♀️"
Talking & Sharing your struggles can help sometimes. It lift the weight from your chest, I know that from experience. I will definitely give it a read if you feel comfortable enough sharing it with us.
Alright, I think 3 asks in less than 24 hours are enough. 😅 I don't want to spam you & weird you out with so many asks. I will send one once you upload the next chapter. Until then, take care.
Yess, the update will be in June! So BASICALLY, without being too spoiler-y - although I suppose it's not spoiler-y now, but in a way it could be - there is a certain couple that we waited a longgggg time for them to finally get together, and in Prophecy, from day one, I'd planned for a (brief) break up to occur between them. For years it was happening, the story was structured with this being a key event. And it isn't the couple who are currently split up, either 😬
Before, it felt organic, key to the plot progression - it was happening. Without getting a little TMI on my personal life, my own marriage was going through some turmoil at this time, so I now feel upon reflection I was just projecting a bit. A break down felt inevitable at the time, so I guess it was a little bit of life imitating art... I'm very happy to say my marriage is stronger than ever and all is well (17 years this year, we're not going anywhere 😆), and I went a long period of time without looking at any of my writing. When I came back to it recently I read through the plans and I was just.. Stumped. There was no way I was splitting them up. And not even from a fan-girling/shipper stand point, it just wasn't organic at all. It was in fact a bit of a slap round the face. To the readers, and to myself. It felt like 'hmm, what would make things spicy? I know, another break up'. I just didn't like it. But there were some key events that need to happen that won't make sense for other plot points if I remove those as well as the break up.
SO. I have decided to work with the life imitating art thing, but differently - I feel it's way more interesting to watch two people get through tough times without parting ways than it is to just watch them both instantly bail. And I have life experience of this, as do a lot of people, I'm sure.
Sorry this is so long - and sorry if it is a bit spoiler-y, I don't think that many people frequent my tumblr anyway so... Thanks for reading & sticking around, as always! 🫶
sometimes love is stored in a kind ao3 comment
OMG I just read latest chapter!!!! And I'm freaking out!!! The Greens!!! Oh my God! What have you done to them??!! 😭💔 Everything is broken!!! Cody!!!! FUCK. OFF!!!! "i wAs rIGhT aBoUT bUTcH" NO! YOU ARE NOT! SHUT UP AND PISS OFF!!! God lord!!! I didn't think I will hate him this much! But here I am!!! And Ashleigh too! Damn I hate this HOE!!! Buttercup is broken! Butch is on high weed!!! He fondled Blossom!!! (LMAO 😂😂😂😭😭😭) And now there's a new demon!!! This chalter was too much for me to handle! 🥲 I will go read the chapter where the Reds cuddle in the "ice world" again. 😂😭💔 I need uplifting...
But seriously, what a fantastic chapter! Thank you for sharing it with us. I was hoping we get more on Brick future vision dreaming and the reason Esma can't influence at all, but I do understand that you wanted to focus on the Greens more. I do hope these two things get tackled on the next chapter, though. I really want to know what the hell is up with Brick and why he has all these powers/abilities all of a sudden.
Cody needs to back the fuck off, though... like seriously, I wanted to punch him!!! 😂 He's just screwing things up for Buttercup again! And it piss me off how he thinks he know it all now. Please tell me he will get is fair of ass kicking? 😂 Same thing for Ashleigh! That broken jaw is not enough! 😂
Can't wait to read the next chapter! I don't know when you will update again, but I hope it doesn't take a year again! 😂😂😭😭💔💔 I'm so DYING to know what will happen next! But regardless on how long it will take, I will still be here waiting. 🙂 Thanks again! You take care now. 🙏🏻
Oh yeah! I'm supposed to ask a question! 😂😅 Will we learn more about Brick's new unique "abilites" (him seemingly seeing the future in his dreams, and not being affected by Esma) soon? Like, in the next chapter or so? Will he be sharing to the others about him "seeing the future"? And his immunity to Esma's influence, will it gets discussed? Like, I think Blossom somewhat implied he was not affected when she told him to remove her & Bubbles from the house if she didn't return. But none of them thought about it and went "Say... I don't think you were ever affected by Esma's influence. How come?" Will this be tackled soon like in the next chapter or so? Or will it be much MUCH later? Or the better question: Is it going to be tackled at all?
Greens oh my god I'm so sorry 😭 So yes - we will learn more about Brick's mysterious new ability that he's in deep denial of at the moment - soon. I can't exactly pinpoint when as 1. spoilers! And 2. I'm going through some re-routing right now with this fic. Will explain more. The immunity to Esmé will get explained, in the next chapter.
WHICH you won't have to wait too long for. I have chapter 10 all ready to go 😊 In fact I am good up to chapter 12. It's just beyond that I need to get to work on! I may write a post about my internal struggles plot-wise with this fic - maybe it'll help 🤷♀️ Thanks so much for reading & sticking around!
You have no idea how excited I was when I saw the notification that you answered my ask! 😂😭 Once again, welcome back! Glad to see that you're okay! 🙂
Choices/Prophecy has become my all-time favorite! I don’t think there will ever be a fanfic that tops it for me! I just finished re-reading Choices for the 1000th time, and I just reached the latest chapter of Prophecy! And I’ll be honest with you, I’m DYING to read the next chapter! 😂💔😭 I would be straight-up lying to you if I said I didn’t want you to update ASAP! 😭😂
But I don’t want to put too much pressure on you. Just like you said, you will finish this fanfic even if it takes years (which I’m VERY happy to hear), and I’m not going anywhere either! I’m too obsessed with your Reds to lose interest in your fanfic! 😂😅 So, I hope you don’t mind me sticking around here! 🙏🏻
I’ll be looking forward to the next update, which I hope will be VERY SOON! 🙏🏻 Thank you again for sharing this masterpiece with us. Please take care of yourself too. 🙂🙏🏻
(Note: I reread my latest ask to you and dear lord, I’m cringing at the amount of grammar errors and missing words it has! 🫠 I really need to proofread before I send asks. I’m actually baffled that you understood what I wrote... I hope this ask makes sense to you. 😅)
Thank you so much for your kind words & support - it means a lot - & for sticking around despite the reallyyyyyy long time frames! Happy to say I updated Prophecy a matter of hours ago 🙂

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/43477878/chapters/169783561
Title: Prophecy Rating: T Chapters: 9/? Summary: In their final year of high school, Team X will face unavoidable highs and lows - the woes of being super powered, and teenage. They'll share firsts, lasts, and will have to navigate their way through deception, manipulation and inevitably heartbreak. Him is still an underlying threat in their lives, as are the mysterious prophecies he lives by..
Chapter 9: ‘Meet me at our spot’ snippet
Bing bong.
The door to the Mini Malphs opened and closed, setting off the door chime as someone entered or exited the store.
Bing bong.
Somebody came inside. Or did they leave? Buttercup Utonium couldn’t tell; she wasn’t paying attention. She stood in the middle of the small aisle, her hands fisted into the pockets of her jacket as she stared at the rows of potato chips before her. Suddenly focussing on what she wanted was very difficult - she just knew she was hungry.
An older woman shimmied past her; and the green puff saw her screwing her nose up as she did in the corner of her eye. Buttercup dipped her head down, giving the faded grey denim of her jacket a sniff. It stank of pot.
But that didn’t exactly surprise her. She had not long gotten back from Mitch’s place. It had just been her, Mitch and Harry; she’d told them everything that had happened. They’d of course been shocked - and Mitch had questioned Push The Atom’s future. That was something she didn’t have the energy to even think about right now. He hadn’t pushed it.
After telling them everything that had transpired, he’d offered her a consolatory hit of his joint - and she’d surprised him by accepting it. She hadn’t just accepted it, after the initial coughing, choking fit, she’d gotten the hang of it a little and smoked the entire thing with them. Then had him roll another for them to share, too.
After getting over the initial unpleasantness of the smoke hitting her lungs and making her choke, she’d actually found it quite enjoyable. Mitch had instructed her to take small inhalations to begin with and exhale slowly. Eventually, she could see the appeal. And actually, she felt good.
It had certainly relaxed her. And god did she need relaxing at the moment.
You can read Prophecy here and here 🖤
i feel like people forget that sometimes characters in fic are written like that because it's a reflection of real life.
people have sex without setting boundaries. people have unprotected sex without talking about their sexual histories or producing recent sti tests. people play with kink without discussing it ahead of time or establishing a safeword. they have anal without 'enough' prep or lube—they may even prefer it like that.
and none of this is really a fantasy. it's all pretty normal. you can feel that it's inappropriately normalised, and you'd probably be right! but it is normalised: one study found that 58% of female undergraduate students on the campus studied had been choked during sex. 20% of those students said that they'd never been asked if it was ok; another 30% said they'd only sometimes been asked if they consented. fully half! (non-paywalled journal article on choking during sex here, including these numbers.) despite a rise in stis of all sorts, condom use is declining. (pdf link to the full text of this study about declining condom use in the us; aidsmap article about an australian study with similar results.)
even when people do talk about things—sex or anything else—they communicate imperfectly. 'yeah, but don't go too far' is consenting and setting a boundary, and also relying that the person you're talking to has the same metric for 'too far' that you do. for some people, 'the trash needs to go out' is a neutral, factual observation; for others, it's a request that the person they're speaking to take out the trash.
even when people understand each other perfectly, people react unpredictably to things sometimes! we behave irrationally! people laugh uncontrollably at funerals, or get angry at the straw that broke their back rather than the enormous load they were already carrying. they get scared and lash out at people trying to help them. when hurt, most people do not instinctively reach for therapy-approved grounding exercises and 'i feel' statements.
pretty much any bad choice that characters could conceivably make is a choice that people make in real life, on purpose, all the time. people do things that can have catastrophic, life-changing effects because it felt like a good idea at the time, or they're leaning into the vibe, or they just didn't think about it all that much, or an infinite number of other reasons.
fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible ways to live your life, and fanfic isn't any different. it's not a narrative flaw to let characters do things that are messy or harmful or downright stupid—it's a reflection of what people are actually like, and not something that authors should feel they have to apologise for.
i am obsessed, in the most derogatory way possible, with the people in the notes who are reading this post and then saying, well, those stats you're pointing at are why you have to make it clear in fiction that they've had a conversation about Consent And Safety. if you don't tell people to use condoms, if you don't tell people that it's not ok to choke someone without prior consent, if you don't tell people that they have to do these things Correctly, you're part of the problem.
so i will say it again: fiction is a reflection of life, but it is not real life. fiction does not have to set a good example. fiction does not have to be safe, sane, or consensual.
fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible way to live your life. if you read it looking for that, you are the problem.