Uber Driver Am Here

How much damage does this do if I hit someone with it

they beat Jesus with that

thank u… i learned a lot..

me when i see my ex wifes toyota previa barrelling down my street

People whose entire humour/personality is built off of self-deprecating jokes make me so uncomfortable. I hate listening to people drone on and on about how ugly they are or whatever like just admit you’re fishing for compliments go

hey op just admit you’re a jerk and go

Girl shut the entire fuck up. Not every goddamn thing has to be a social justice moment. People like Amy schumer who base their entire careers on shitting on themselves aren’t funny. They just aren’t. You constantly making fun of yourself won’t make your mental health any better. Grow the fuck up

spongebob my leg guy voice: MY WIG!!!

des

pa

self care is drinking directly from a puddle in the taco bell drive thru

One time when I was like 7 I was eating a baby bottle pop and I inhaled the powder and I was suffocating so my mom made me get out of the car and drink from a puddle in a Walmart parking lot

people who think cis is an acronym crack me up

we can forgive you for not knowing what cishet is but cargo shorts? that is too far

wait… what does trans stand for then?

They stand for each other and for a world without fear

Flavoracle definitely has a third eye and it’s wide open honey