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When a person dies of cancer, people say "they're no longer suffering"; but when someone commits suicide, people say it's selfish.. What the people don't see is that the person that commit suicide was suffering too.
Death would be so much better than this life
So i started taking adderal a week ago because
A D D
And i can actually focus and not let myself get i to a caotic mess
But its making my depression worse
I dont feel myself
It didnt dull my emotions or āchangeā me like some people say it does (i think more for people with ADHD)
I just feel.... off... like im in my own head a lot more
Like im making myself think about things i dont want to think about
But at least i got all my work done and cleaned my entire apartment today
Oh and i literally have NO APPETITE like im never hungry and when i eat i only nibble because im just not feeling it
Lost 5 lbs already
Not saying this is an effective weight loss tool. This shit will fuck with you please dont take it unkess you are prescribed by a doctor ā¤ļø just sharing my experience
Iād take it, if it meant I donāt get to feel shit
but who would ever love someone with scars on their wrists?
or cuts on their legs

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"The thoughts are slowly winning and I'm scared of what I might do once it does."
ā something your suicidal friend would never admit to you
Me
I don't think most people understand the urge to kill yourself every time you do something wrong
The saddest moment is going to self harm and realising you have to look for clean skin to cut...
Iām a background character in everyoneās life. Iām not important to anyone. I donāt even matter.
100%

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facts
What helps with Anxiety?

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Just feel so broken right now š
āHonestly I just fell into it. Ā I started as an engineering major. Ā Then one night I was slaving over my physics homework, while my roommate sipped tea on the couch and read a novel. Ā So I decided to be an English major like her. Ā Ten years later Iām working as a copywriter at an advertising agency. Ā You know that feeling when youāre pulling into the driveway, but you canāt remember anything about your ride home? Ā Thatās a bit how it feels. Ā Like I blinked and Iām eight years down a career path that I just sort of fell into. Ā Thereās plenty to be grateful for. Ā Itās a good enough job. Ā Iām not living paycheck to paycheck. Ā I can afford to have fun and take vacations. Ā But my job is not my passion. Ā And every story you see elevated on social media is: āI loved this thing. Ā It became my passion. Ā And then it became my career.ā Ā Thereās not many people saying: āMy job isnāt my passion, but I love mountain biking on the weekends. Ā And thatās enough for me.ā Ā I think the feeling Iām trying to resolve is a sense of āenoughness.ā Thereās so much I love about my life, but I spend most of my time at work. Ā Is it OK to get my joy outside of work? Ā Or does my passion need to be tied to my livelihood and a sense of responsibility?ā (Toronto, Canada)