Welcome to whatever this is!

Every vampire is all "oh drinking blood is better than any food, drugs, even sex" but I don't even believe them because all of them were literally made before the invention of really good drugs and before we got all the nice foods from the new world, so I don't trust any of their opinions. Lestat has never ate a potato and Armand hasn't ever even tasted tomaotes. The only guy I trust is Daniel Molloy who has probably tried every drug on earth, has definitely ate nice food and would be a valid judge on how good drinking blood really is.

imagine u havent spoken to ur dad in years and then he publishes a book about gay vampires that sells millions of copies and u decide "hey maybe he's gotten his shit together from his recent successes since the last time we spoke" so u meet up with him for lunch and he brings this 27 year old with him that he says he met in dubai. and ur really uncomfortable and trying to warn him that this kid is gonna steal all of his money as subtly as u can without ruining lunch. and at the same time ur trying to figure out why he's wearing colored contact lenses and acrylic nails and he's also like extremely cold and ur like "okay maybe he's just trying to find himself and it's kind of cold in here ... he's old ... old ppl are sensitive" and then u find out he's a fucking vampire and the 27 year old isn't the sugar baby but instead the sugar daddy