Mabel

Thank you for using your platform to help the people of Palestine

Thank you so, so much for your generosity!

The first thing you will need to do is prepare an eyewash. Take a cutting from whatever *non-poisonous plant around your home that the morning light first touches; steep it into a tea. Allow the tea to cool, and wash your eyelids with it (only use this tea on the outside of your eyes). Then, you will have to go to your nearest body of water. This does not have to be the ocean, or even a lake or a river. A canal, a well, a pond in a park, whichever is closest to you. Look into it, at your own reflection, until you see something. Only you will know what this something is. After you've done this you will be able to see things more clearly.

Pay attention to your dreams following this ritual. Keep a journal of your thoughts, instincts, and impulses. All of these will be helpful, too.

*please make sure this plant is skin-safe.

We've been very absent. What can we say? It all pales in the face of an active, violent campaign against children. What Israel is doing is a moral failure and a war crime. It is genocide.

We're fundraising for Medical Aid for Palestinians.

the few times I got a glimpse of the readings they’ve always been intriguing, I’m hesitant since I don’t know if I’m wording it well, but here goes :)

I’m scared about my dog’s health, I’ve kept up with everything that’s been popping up but now I feel I’ve made one specific issue worse through inaction out of fear and money. I know who to take him with once I finally have my car back. Was I too late? Will he make it through?

I know I need to leave my comfort zone if I need more money (mostly for him, his meds, his new diet, the bills I know will be fairly big), but fear has had such an oppressive hold on my whole life, i struggle with knowing how to break out of this pattern?

You need to find a way to get your dog seen. As far as I can see he will be all right, but please don't put all your faith in divination when it comes to serious health concerns. There is always a way, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.

There is no secret for breaking out of a pattern of fear and anxiety. The results come from doing. You just have to make the choice to push yourself, wade through the discomfort, do it again, do it again and again, and keep doing it, until that becomes the new pattern. It's unpleasant. It's relatively thankless. But it has to be done.

I believe, truly, that there is no pattern of behaviour or synaptic channel that we are incapable of changing. We are boundlessly adaptable, no matter the age, no matter the situation; it just requires more work and determination and stubbornness than most people are willing to expend. Everyone in the world contains within them the possibility for change. It's just that most people won't do it. But you can. You are absolutely, entirely capable.

Growth sometimes feels poisonous, corrosive. If it's this hard, if it feels this bad, we tell ourselves, can it actually be good for us? Answer: yes. It can. It is. Work with it. Don't give up.

I am very sorry to hear that you've had a rough go. Artistic work can take a dishearteningly long time to produce any kind of notable results. Trust me, I know.

Is the second half of the year going to get better? Genuinely, that is up to you. Is there a particular goal you want to achieve with your art by a specific point in time? If so, why? Can you view this as a year of growth rather than aiming for a specific kind of achievement? Learning what you can about the systems we have in place to sell and promote art, and most importantly, honing and perfecting your craft (I say perfecting, but all artists know their work will never be perfect. It's an endless journey. That's part of the terrible charm). This is not going to be the year you achieve perfect public success. It's not. But success is measured in many different ways. If what you're doing now is making you more unhappy than fulfilled, consider different routes. You don't have to take them now. You don't have to take them, ever. But you are in control of where and how you allocate your energy. If the grind isn't doing it for you, give yourself space to reimagine.

You may not be in control of when and where you're forced to interact with your abuser. But you can give them as little as they deserve. Grey rocking will deny them negative attention and reserve your energy for yourself. Give yourself support and care. This reading is clear: this level of interaction with them won't be permanent.

Quite honestly it's been a rough almost-three months. A former colleague of mine (I don't dare call them a friend, since we never established that type of relationship) disappeared on me despite very strong intent from them to stick around. I don't take well to being/feeling abandoned like this, but I also love them like the sun loves the horizon, like bones love the heart, and that is a truth in me that I cannot silence. There is truth here and I am not one to turn away from such things, but fuck this is also incredibly difficult

My question is, how do I navigate this? I've been stamping around so much trying to figure this out that the waters are now all muddy for me, and I'd appreciate an outside perspective

Hello, Aster! First of all, thank you so very much for the tip. I hugely appreciate it, and it is more helpful than you know.

As for your reading.

I'm so sorry it's been a rough few months. This is the truth: those who deserve your love don't disappear without warning and without explanation. Before you can work past this, you need to acknowledge the unfair fact that this person may not be worthy of the breadth and depth of your feelings for them. Sometimes there is a tendency to double down in moments like these - I love them deeply, therefore they must have been worthy, therefore there's something wrong with me, I am somehow at fault here, and if I just...understand better, give them more time, give them my patience, perform correctly, say the right things, do the right things, then they will reappear in my life and confirm their worth.

Another truth: feelings can be wrong sometimes. I'd go so far as to venture that feelings are regularly wrong. There is enormous freedom in understanding that emotions are not infallible, that they can absolutely be given attention and weight and never repressed or pushed aside, but they don't have to be our single guiding light. Sometimes we feel personally victimised when what we're really experiencing is the impersonal injustice of the world; sometimes we can be convinced in our hearts that our friends are angry with us when really they're just tired or busy; sometimes the people we love aren't worthy of the purity of that love. There isn't necessarily a deeper meaning to it. You love because you have a vast capacity for love. You heal when that love is abused or misplaced.

And you navigate this the way you navigate any trauma: by giving yourself time, by being honest with yourself, by turning your attention and your focus elsewhere, and by allowing yourself to grow through this. Sometimes people are fickle or thoughtless. Sometimes they make promises they can't keep. Sometimes we misinterpret their intentions, or the sincerity of their intentions. All of this may be painful, but I promise it is not an injury you can't recover from.

I feel like I'm not in the world. Like I'm supposed to be things that aren't possible equations or my life is not stringed as it's supposed to-- out of tune. It's a cacophony of swirling ideas. So really to answer everything is-- Why?

Why am I living like this?

My question is: will it become easier? I'm planning to leave in two years but it feels like this chafing makes attaining that goal much harder, as well.

1. Be polite but honest. Don’t apologise for your opinions or beliefs. Don’t misrepresent yourself.

2. Look to your past experiences. What made you feel at odds with these people? How can you prevent or work through this? Have a game plan, so you don’t fall into a similar pattern.

3. And if you do, be prepared to find community elsewhere.