Helplessness, insecurity, anger, despair, sorrow… fear - Ignis Scientia was no stranger to these emotions, even though he had learned in the line of his duty to hide them better than most humans. He had learned to keep up a facade not allowing others to see how he felt. But hiding away his heart did nothing to undo the pain and now, with nothing but the never ending darkness to focus on, when he was lying awake in sleeping compartment of the train, these feelings rose to the surface like nightmares.
With blind and sightless eyes, Ignis was lying on the small bed, trying to let the soft sound of Noctis’ breathing and the light snores of Gladio lull him to sleep, but he was too wide awake and too many thoughts were running through his head for this trick to work. Too much had happened in the last weeks and in the last hours and his mind just couldn’t stop turning around these events. And that he was still in pain despite the fact that his wounds had healed already, didn’t make it any easier. He had already tried to open his eyes and had succeeded but the headache had been really impressive afterwards and it hadn’t made any difference at all… he only knew now, that his left eye was a lost cause, while his right one was still sensitive to light. But he had also realized that it was easier to open his right eyelid than his left.
But all these musing didn’t help the blind strategist one bit and so he threw his legs over the side of the bed. He felt for the cane on the wall side of his small bunk and carefully stood up, that he wouldn’t wake Noct or Gladio. If he was going to feed that hamster that ran in circles in his head, Ignis could also do that outside of the train on one of the stone benches with the breeze in his hair and some fresh air. Silently Ignis slipped out of the compartment and made his way to the stairs that brought him outside again onto the platform of the train station of Tenebrae. While Noct had spoken to the retainer of the manor, Ignis had asked Gladio to take a walk with him around the platform and the surrounding area, that he could memorize the layout, so he could get around alone as well if needed. Ignis just hadn’t thought that it would be that soon.
Remembering the distances from the train to the individual places, Ignis made a careful step forward, passing by the passengers who were now stranded in this wonderful yet cursed country. Parts of the manor were still on fire and Ignis could smell the smoke in the air, just like he felt it scratching down his wind pipe. Using his cane as a guide he moved along the train towards one of the farther away standing stone benches. He needed a bit space to think and somehow this time he wouldn’t even be able to think in the midst of strangers, where he literally was alone.
Ignis breathed a sigh, when his cane finally found the bench and after placing his cane behind himself, he sat down and buried his face into the soft leather of his gloves for a moment. Since the loss of his sight, Ignis hearing had sharped considerably and it was easy for him, to follow the conversations of the other passengers on the long platform. The advisor knew, that a lot of them wanted to go home, but where should they go? Gralea was no option anymore… just like Insomnia was lost to him and his friends.
When a different set of footsteps drew Scientia’s attention away from the conversations of the other people and he concentrate on the sound that was approaching him slowly. He turned his head a bit to the side, starting to register different sounds as well, like the gliding of fabric over metal and leather, the soft scratching of metal against metal. A weak smile passed over his face. “I can hear you, Aranea,” he remarked and lifted his head, turning it into her direction.
Aranea Highwind stopped for a moment, then she closed the distance between them and sat down onto her heels before the blind strategist. “Biggs was right,” she remarked. “You have the ears of a dog.”
Ignis chuckled a bit, moving his head a bit that his sightless eye were - hopefully - on Aranea’s. “Not quite but close,” he replied. “It’s astonishing how fast the human body tries to adapt when one sense is lost.”
“But it’s still pretty dangerous wandering around alone, when you don’t see where you are going - especially here with these narrow bridges and very steep cliffs. Where are the prince and Gladio?” Aranea asked.
“Still in the train, sleeping,” Ignis replied. “I needed a few moments alone to think.”
“Do you want to me to leave?” Aranea asked carefully and prepared to rise again, but Ignis shook his head.
“Apologies,” Scientia replied softly. “I phrased that wrong.”
Aranea smiled and although Ignis couldn’t see it, he could hear it in her voice. “You just needed to be away from your friends for a while, to sort your thoughts and maybe to test these senses of yours for a bit. Is that about right?” she asked.
Ignis let out a sigh. “That hits the nail pretty much on the head,” the royal advisor replied.
“And your conclusion so far?”
“That I have to learn quick before I become even more a burden to them, that I am already are,” Ignis said and Aranea couldn’t deny the bitter sound she heard in his voice. The commodore hadn’t been present at the covenant but she knew, that literally everything had gone wrong. She wouldn’t ask what had happened but she knew that the past events had cracked the four brothers apart in a way, they had never expected to be separated. “I told them I would stay with them, no matter what, but sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t just a selfish decision for my own sake, because I didn’t want to be separated from them.” Ignis head fell onto his chest and he wrapped his gloved fingers tightly together to still the shaking of his hands.
Aranea shook her head before she carefully laid one hand onto Ignis shaking ones and lifted his head with the other one. “I don’t think you are a burden to them,” the commodore said softly. “Don’t ever think of yourself as one. If they would have wanted to leave you behind, they could have done it in Altissia already, but they didn’t. Ignis, I saw the dynamic in your group more than once - when you fought me, when I walked with you through Steyliff, when I battled the daemons alongside you.” Aranea stopped herself for a moment and her gloved and clawed fingers softly ran over the skin of Ignis’ cheek. For a moment Highwind was surprised, that Ignis allowed such a close contact and that she overstepped her own boundaries to offer it, but in this moment all rules seemed to be out of place and physical touch was the only comfort she could give Ignis next to words. “The four of you are one soul - if one part is missing the whole soul is incomplete, weak and vulnerable. Even if you would have asked them to leave you behind, they wouldn’t have.” Aranea stopped herself for a moment. “And this is the reason why I will search for the missing piece tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” Ignis asked confused.
The former imperial commodore chuckled. “I lead a similar conversation with your prince already and in the end I promised him to look for Prompto. Tomorrow, when you are leaving for the long trek to Gralea, I will go back to the point where you lost sight of your shortcake and will try to find him.”
For one second Ignis was even more confused, surprised and slightly suspicious, but then he swallowed and looked up. “Why are you helping us?”
“Because the prince will need all of you to succeed and the prince has to succeed or this world will be gone in the next months, so in a way it’s in my own interest to help you,” Aranea replied. “Truth is - it’s in all of our interest that the stolen crystal is returning to his rightful owner, because the scourge of the stars will not stop on the borders of a country. It will infect the whole world and if we want to survive we have to stand together.”
Ignis gave the dragoon a weak smile, while her fingers were still caressing his cheek. “I doubt there have ever been words so true.”
“Feeling better now?” Aranea asked softly.
The royal advisor nodded. “Yes, I think so and maybe it would be wise for me, to give the matter of sleep another try.”
With a nod Aranea rose back to her full height. “Then humor this commodore here and let me accompany you back to the train.”
With a chuckle Ignis took his cane and got back to his feet. “Still worried I might meet an untimely end by accidentally stepping over an edge?”
“You could say that,” Aranea replied. But despite her words Aranea left Ignis enough room to find his way back alone and she had to admit, that she was impressed how sure footed the blind strategist was. He found his way back to the train without stumbling and with very less moments, where he had to check the surroundings again to make sure he was still walking right.
When they reached the train car, Ignis turned around for a moment. “You have my thanks, Aranea,” Scientia said softly.
“For what?” Aranea asked surprised.
Ignis smiled. “For listening, for your advice and for your help with Prompto.”
The commodore couldn’t help but to return the smile the royal advisor gave her, even though he couldn’t see it. “You remember that I asked you once when you healed me, if you are always this kind to your enemies and you said no, but that you are like this to your allies,” Aranea recalled and Ignis nodded. “I like to think that we can be more than just allies - that we can be friends.”
“I like the sound of that,” Scientia remarked with a smile and a nod. “Take care, Aranea and sleep well. Who knows when we will get a decent amount of it the next time.”
Story and picture by NightysWolf
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