bitches be like “he’s the love of my life” and he’s fictional

If you wouldn’t fuck a vampire you’re a liar and a bitch

i just think that unhinged female characters with a little blood on their face and wrath in their eyes is pretty neat, that's all

turns out i simply cannot handle things or situations

stoned at the nail salon is just ribs all grown up

bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i’ve fallen in love with you bro. im serious quit it dude

when your cat licks his paw…and then rubs his head with the paw…wow…that’s his shmapoo and conditioner…..

i was so angry at everything when i was 13. and i was right

I think, therefore I am (exhausted)

I think, therefore I am (panicking)

i need a shirt that says “dont ask me what im doing with my life im trying not to kill myself”