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@m0th-2-flame
hi there, you can call me bat/moth. i have polyfragmented did with a high alter count and this is my ramcoa/cult survivor/religious trauma blog. this blog is meant to be a safe space for anybody who has been in a similar situation and to let you know that you are not alone
also heres the most comforting post ever
also i use humor to cope so yeah, feel free to laugh with me about our shared trauma
tags under the cut :)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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DID is having skeletons in the closet that sometimes come out to torment you before going back in the closet and making you forget about them.
coming to terms with the fact that i have isolation trauma makes having no friends a lot worse cuz youll start crying cuz youre so alone and suddenly im 7 and back in the cult being told im not allowed to talk to the other kids because i didnt remember my bible verses
its funny that sometimes when im in a denial spiral ill say shit like "but it was only a minor cult" MOTHERFUCKER THATS STILL A CULT the shit they did would be traumatic for a child so its resonable for me to have did
Hey, I hope this is okay to send here, but I've seen a few asks from systems who aren't sure if what they went through is "really" programming or not.
There's a website that has coined a few terms for systems to use to describe experiences that are adjacent to programming but not the same, while also applying to programming if you want them to. The site is here: https://forcigenic.neocities.org/
I thought this might be of help to some of those who look at this blog.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i hate that we have such a low split tolerance, we end up splitting multiple alters just to deal with the chronic stress we go through and i cant deal with it...we have 200+ alters and most of them dont even front or even do anything
Cult survivors, you don't lack intelligence. You don't lack morality. Your abuse was and never will be your fault.
i remember that when i was really young i was taught about the rapture but they said people who arent awake for the rapture were going to hell and so i stayed up for days on end so i didnt go to hell and i mean days i probably got maybe an hour if that of sleep every night for a few weeks maybe even months. now when theres a new rapture prediction i cant sleep.
anyways im not doing good, people keep denying that the cult i was in was a cult because its for children. no normal bible learning group has their own flag, pledge, song and march that youre forced to learn or youre told youre going to hell btw i was fucking 7
i think being told i would never ever be truly happy if i didn't do exactly what the church said fucked me up as a kid
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You've heard "not all religions are cults."
Now get ready for "not all cults are religious."
i can’t believe this apparently needs to be said but y’all. cult jokes are not funny. things like calling yourself a cult leader, calling a friend group or a fandom a cult, joking about starting a cult, ARE NEVER FUNNY. jokes like these diminish the seriousness of cults and spit in the faces of actual survivors. the only time making cult-related jokes is okay is if you are a cult survivor joking about your own trauma.
sincerely, an exhausted cult survivor
There is nothing you could have done to deserve it. No mistake. No act of compliance. No belief about yourself or your abuser(s) or the world. In no circumstance did you deserve the abuse and exploitation cults perpetrate.
Living in a cult is like if hell was filled with flowers, and everyone is gaslighting you into thinking it's heaven.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Exjw's what are some songs that you love that helps or you relate to?
I will open this question up honestly to literally any excult member or anyone with religious trauma. I'm genuinely curious what kind of songs everyone has found.
I don't think people understand how bad I was ( still am, just not as bad because looking back this sounds stupid as hell ) scared of the rapture. As an ex-jw , I was always being treated like the world would end every day, hour, minute, I never got a break. After a few years of being raised that I started to have severe nightmares about the world ending and I would have panic attacks almost every night about my parents going to hell and it being my fault and it was so horrible. ( I was 9-11 ) and even after realizing, hell no, that was a cult and it fucked me up in so many ways, not just that, I felt really bad for no longer being religious so I would think the rapture would come after I left ( I feared I was the final straw and I would die any second )
୨୧・・・・୨୧・・・・ Little rant, goodbye 🎀 ୨୧・・・・୨୧・・・・
