Beautiful pain

I knew I was getting bad again when every week I was just trying to “get through this week” I don’t know what’s wrong with me

It hurts. Oh God it hurts so much to think that someday you may not be mine anymore.

I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.

My life is falling apart and I see you and suddenly it all seemed okay, just for a little while

I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.

I don’t think I’m meant for love;