it’s been...
it’s been well over a year since you left and i still miss you.
it’s been well over a year since you left & i thought i would have found peace, but instead the demons scream in my ear all night. i find solace and comfort in their arms.
it’s been a year since anyone has held me. it’s been a year since I’ve been kissed in a way that wasn’t me being some fucktoy for some undeserving person. it’s been a year since someone’s even spoken my name lovingly. nothing i do matters.
there’s no passion left in my eyes, people say they worry but i don’t think they do. my job sucks, my life sucks, i can’t get out of this black hole of despair. i feel like i’m drowning.
seems like the only one who lost here was me. the changes ive made in my life didn’t even matter. nothing ever changes. neither will i.
as i lay here and write this for people who won’t ever read this and i find comfort in knowing this still exists. do i yearn for you every single day? no. not at all. but missing you comes in waves, this ones a tsunami. i always thought you’d never find someone who’d make you as happy as i did, but alas.. you did. and that’s on me.
off to find more meaningless relationships to tear my soul apart some more. because that’s all i’m worth.
