Long Live all the magic we made! 🦋

(Cont) a split second could mean death. Then teach you how to profile but "we dont profile" wink nudge. So you show up see a man bent over a woman when someone calls, says they heard screaming. React. Guy is raping her. Nope. She was having a seizure. He was her helper. Friend of mine attacked him. Easy mistake when they teach you that. Friends quits bc of guilt. Me? Always got reamed bc I didnt give out enough fucking tickets. Fuck that. "Find curfew breakers. Find lapse insurance." (Cont)

(Cont) I would sit in parking lots running random license plates while all my coworkers ride on people's asses in the middle of the night to trick them into speeding. Its not about upholding the law and arresting criminal. You're a fucking snitch, trying to fin ANY lawbreaker bc you can't be lazy. Then you see some fucked up shit. Little girl goes missing. Find her in a creek, head cracked up on a rock. Animals picked at her for a few days. You get desensitized or you can't do the job. (Cont)

(Cont) so you get numb to screaming and dead bodies and girls crying about boyfriends raping them or you go nuts. Me I thought well this small town they donr have Real Problems so they make me chase down 15 year olds with a cigarette to hand over tobacco tickets. I won't do that so the other guys relentlessly bully me for being a pussy lazy PoS. I go to city with real problems. Same damn thing. "Search for criminals! If you dont find enough you're lazy!" We aren't sitting around til you (cont)

(Cont) til you break the law we are looking for it even if its dumb shit. And then you go someplace big and tell you to look for suspicious things. Blackddues in nice suits are pimps. Black dudes in nice cars are dealers. Black women are crazy and best their boyfriends. Latina lie about being raped to get revenge. That's just how it is. So you say hell no. They eat you alive. If you need therapy you're a pussy. Hostage situation, black dude with knife holding a woman. I talk him down. (Cont)

(Cont) Guy gets arrested. I get pulled into the office and yelled at for NOT shooting him. Saved his life and hers and I got in trouble. Had to file paperwork. Didnt make any friends because they ront trust me. Cops will do drugs on weekends then arrest people for doing the same so they get their "quota" (which wink nudge dont exist). If a cop does something bad and you do the right thing and "rat him out" they will harass you. Found myself relocated when I testified against another cop. (Cont)

(Cont) Go to a different place. Same fucking shit. Cops get paid shit, taught to react first based on assumption, taught to specifically assume racist shit, taught to go OUT of their way to FIND shit, get thrown into an atmosphere of bullying if you dont comply, then get desensitized to shit. If you're a good cop, You won't make it , bc you can't come out of that shit safe. I quit before I was forty. I'm fifty now and work in a mine. Fuck cops.

Ps - former cop - using my niece's tumblr bc she showed me this, which is why I'm using anonymous. Not trying to harass anybody.

Copying anon’s follow up messages above to have the whole story in one place.

Pretty sure this encapsulates all of us

I don’t know how to word this.

Two years ago, my family spent six months homeless. We searched for ages trying to find someplace to rent to us, but because we are low income and need to rent with housing assistance (through a government program called Section 8) we had a very hard time finding anyone willing to take a chance on us.

We finally got a home in January 2017, and have spent the past two years trying to build a life here. It’s in this house that I was finally stable enough to afford to buy tickets to see Taylor Swift perform for the first time, after being a fan for a decade. It was in this house where I finally signed with a literary agent after years of practice and hard work to build my talent as a writer.

On Saturday, my family was informed that our landlord’s company is selling all their Section 8 houses because they can’t afford to keep up with the requirements anymore. He’s offered to help us buy our home so we aren’t displaced again, but unless I can improve my credit (by paying off the credit card debt I have from expenses from the last time we were homeless) and we can improve our income, I’m not sure if it’ll happen.

I’ve gone into further detail about what led to this point and what can be done at my gofundme page: https://www.gofundme.com/help-lily-avoid-homelessness-again

I’m making this post specifically on my swiftie tumblr because the friends I’ve made here and the group chat that resulted from that has been an invaluable source of emotional support and friendship for me. I’ve been homeless twice before and had to move several times throughout my childhood, so I don’t really have very many local friends.

Taylor’s music has always been a huge source of comfort and power for me, pulling me through my repeated trials of poverty, bullying, friendship loss, rejection, and deep seated fear that I’ll never be successful. My favorite song of hers is Sweeter Than Fiction because it ties into my deep passion for storytelling and my aching ambition to make something of myself and provide myself and my family solid ground and a chance at a real future.

I keep listening to it and start crying at this verse: What a sight, what a sight when the light came on


Proved me right, proved me right when you proved them wrong


And in this perfect weather


It’s like we don’t remember


The rain we thought would last forever and ever

Because I remember the look on my mother’s face when we moved in and closed ourselves inside the home she’d wanted for us for so long and how I waited until last week to finally put up real bookshelves instead of piles spilling from boxes, because that always felt like too permanent a move. 

I just want to feel at home finally and I don’t know if I will get to have that physically, but emotionally I have the permanent friendship of the friends brought to me by our shared passion for Taylor and it means a lot to me that they will follow me even if I can’t stay here.

I was supposed to meet one of them (@messthatuwanted, love you Brit!) in two weeks when I drove to Cali for a book festival, but I’ve cancelled that road trip in light of this new crisis. I can’t justify the expense.

I feel guilty and heartbroken asking for anything, but if you can’t contribute to my gofundme (please do not feel in anyway obligated to!), a simple reblog or retweet of my post on twitter would mean the world to me.

Thank you for making this such a positive place for me.

So basically, unless we can come up with at least 230k in the next 45 days to buy it outright we have to prepare to move. Even though the renting market is unexistent in my area nowadays and even though we’ll have nowhere to go. It’s basically over. I am feeling really empty and exhausted and I’m afraid to even listen to Taylor to try and cheer myself up because I don’t want my brain to subconsciously associate her music with how absolutely horrific and awful I feel right now.

Okay so we did a mashup of Cruel Summer and Getaway Car which are my favourites of the two last albums and FIT TOGETHER SO WELL!!! Taylor never fails to amaze me with her lyrics and how well she can tell a story through a catchy pop song! 

After listening to the album all day I've decided it's her best album yet!

if you think i was having a whole photoshoot with my lover cd you‘re absolutely right

Ladies and Gentlemen will you please stand with every copy of Lover you have?? 💗✨ @taylornation13

“I wanna be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate. Not the things I'm afraid of or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.

I, I just think that... You are what you love” - @taylorswift 💘