Lynn Salisbury

Women everywhere fawned over those three words “You complete me.” when Tom Cruise uttered them in a movie. At that moment thousands, if not millions, started looking for, wanting desperately, pathologically stalking for the “one” that would “complete” them.

Rubbish. Vomit inducing. Crap. Co-dependent forming. Just plain ICK.

No one ever seems to want to hear that you DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO COMPLETE YOU. You are a whole being in and of YOURSELF. You do not and never will NEED anyone to complete you. EVER.

I really wish I could imprint that into the brainpan of every single human being.

In reality, you don’t NEED anyone. And shocker! No one NEEDS you. It’s wonderful and a blessing to have people around who love you and be around people you love. But need? Ego hit… no.

You might wonder where all this frustration is coming from. It has built over time due to a little thing people seem to clinging to like Jack clung to the drift at the end of Titanic. “Never let go………”. I digress. This whole whacked out concept of soul mates. Now sparkled up with fluffy bunnies and rainbows and called Twin Flames.

The concept? That before you incarnated into this physical form you were a soul. And then your soul split (somehow, not sure considering a soul is usually defined as energy and as such just IS, but again I digress) and half of your “soul” entered one body and the other half entered another and  you are on a “soul mission” as it were to find that lost part of your soul. Your “other half”. And how “amazing and fulfilling and wonderful it is to meet your twin flame! So wonderful that if you haven’t experienced it you can never know! But I found my twin flame and now I am complete (co-dependent) and can’t imagine living without this person because we BELONG together forever, and ever, and ever, and ever (said in the creepy twin [total pun] voices from the Shining).”

The desperation I see in the written word about how people NEED to find their twin flame and how much better they think their lives will be once found is saddening. Creepy, sick, and saddening. It speaks to a culture of humans that can’t survive on their own. Who feel they need another person to fill the empty spaces. It’s a therapists dream job and they won’t be going out of business any time soon.

These people also call  themselves “old souls”, like giving themselves the title means that they have some special universal “knowing” that the rest of the world does not and therefore couldn’t possibly understand. I won’t go into my belief about “old souls” here since it would be a blog in and of itself, but let’s just say I don’t believe in “old souls” either. (Hint: souls are universal energy manifested in corporal form to experience life. There is no old or young or in-between soul age. All comes from the universe and is of the same infinite age therefore one part cannot be older than the other parts since all are part of the one. Yeah, I’ll blog about that sometime soon. lol).

And, of course, it’s very easy to prop one’s self up and say “I am this or that and KNOW. Not that you could understand because it is VERY obvious you wouldn’t know what I know.” All said looking down their nose while saying it while also saying they are so enlightened and full of love…

Yeah. Okay. And yet you can’t exist without this “other half” of yourself running around somewhere that you are so DESPERATE to find to “complete” yourself.

Those in my life that I love and who love me enhance my living experience and I choose to have them in my life like they choose me every moment of every day. I am blessed to be surrounded by those who choose to stay. I am blessed by the time I have spent with those who are no longer in my current experience (for whatever reason) and I am thankful and grateful I am still here to experience this thing called life.

But I am whole, all by myself. I love myself enough to know I AM enough. I don’t need to be completed, found, joined with, or reconnected with my other half because there is no other part of me out there, other than the connection we all have to each other and in the universe (again another blog to explain more about that).

For those that feel they need the twin flame concept to make them feel complete, I recognize they are still in their spiritual infancy, needing to find something in the corporal mishmash that makes sense. I know there is a lot more growing they need to do while in a physical body to understand how ALL things are connected. I really hope some of them realize that to depend so much on that connection with another as an all encompassing NEED is more damaging to their path at this point (although I do need to concede that each person is at the point in their path they need to be [spiritual stuff can be so deep sometimes]) and they need to seek their own path, not one where someone has to be there to hold their hand.

Until they do, I will just follow my path as I know it and welcome those who cross it, regardless of their awareness. Yeah, I know, sounds kind of condescending, although truly it’s not. Just acceptance :).

There are so many articles and ideas about forgiveness. We all know the old saying "To error is human; to forgive divine". But what about forgiveness is divine? It comes to each person in its own time and way - how and why forgiveness is the path to take for whatever reason. In the spirit of finding my own forgiveness I am going to forgive also. Not just myself, but others.

Normally, forgiveness isn't a hard thing for me to do. I forgive many things and give more than my fair share of chances. But there are people in my life I have yet to forgive, and it's baggage I'm ready to set down.

These people were a staple in my life for many years. For five days a week, forty weeks out of the year, for six years straight, we were in the same place at the same time with no choice in the matter. This was high school. I went to a very small school in rural Minnesota. Junior high students and senior high students attended classes in the same building. Everyone knew everyone else. There was no chance of being invisible.

And I wasn't very popular.

Bullying isn't something new. Granted, we didn't have the internet so when you went home you got a break. But the next day you had no choice but to go back to school. And teachers didn't get involved.

From the first day in seventh grade I knew I wasn't going to fit in. I didn't attend elementary school with most of the kids so I wasn't part of any friendships or groups. And I had no idea how to fit in. I was different. I didn't have the nice clothes, the perfect hair, parents with great jobs. I wasn't athletic. I liked to read and loved music.

Kids catch on to that. Very quickly.

It's not that I didn't try. I did. And I failed miserably. And I didn't stop trying. I had no idea how the social dynamic worked but I always thought, since a young age, that everyone deserved a chance. But that's not high school.

It was pretty clear within a few months that I was an outsider. That would have been okay except in a small school that makes you a target. I was also a slightly overweight child with glasses since first grade. My parents couldn't afford contacts or braces or the best clothes or fancy hairstyles. I didn't wear makeup. I lived on a horse farm. There couldn't have been a bigger target on my back for bullies. And it seemed like everyone knew my name.

I can honestly say I hated high school. It had its moments, of course, that made it okay at times. By tenth grade I had a few friends but no one close. Just a few people that didn't take the time to make fun of me.

All that added up to an adult who also hated the people she went to school with.

That was thirty years ago now. I graduated from McGregor High School in 1986. Yes, that makes me 48 this year. And yes, I still haven't forgiven those people. I never went to a class reunion. And if it weren't for social media I wouldn't have any contact with any of them to this day.

Over the years two people I graduated with did reach out and say they were sorry. Those two I have forgiven. It touched me that they took the time to apologize. And I appreciate it.

But it's time I forgive the rest of them. Not because they are sorry. I doubt they even think about it. But because it's time I let it go. The taunts about how fat I was, how stupid I was, how I wasn't worth the time of day. All of it has affected me as an adult and I am tired of the control it still holds over me. I have carried that baggage for over thirty years and it's time I let it go.

Not for them. For me.

I have done a lot in those thirty years. I have three amazing daughters. I have met some wonderful people along the way who like me for who I am. I have run a successful personal business, am the author of six published books, and love who I have become. So it's time.

Time to forgive those who made my life miserable so long ago. And I just want to tell them all...

I forgive you. You hold my childhood hostage no longer. You don't rent space in my head any longer. I may have been a child that couldn't fit into your world, but that's okay now. I wasn't meant to be one of you. I have always been me. And that's okay too. It was okay then also, I just didn't know it.

I hope you all have had a good life. I hope you continue to do so. I have seen some of you since high school and it was evident that you still had the power to make me feel small. Power I let you have. I have taken that power back and no longer will you pull me back to a time I felt inferior to you. You were just kids, like I was. But now I'm an adult and it's time I act like it. It's time I take control back. And I have.

If we ever meet again it will be as equals. As people who have lives and struggles and joys. Not as those kids in high school struggling to just get by.

In this I am whole again. I have found my freedom and release from the cage that was high school so many years ago.

I forgive you all.

Fantasy? Or Prophetic?

World wide rage. Media misinformation. Fanatical religious zealots taking over politics. Violence everywhere. Women’s rights disappearing. Strongly held Christian beliefs infiltrating every aspect of life, whether you follow that deity or not. Mass hysteria. War.

Real life? Or just the plot of a book?

...

You decide.

“Kyriea” NOW AVAILABLE at amazon.com in paperback. Author – Lynn Salisbury

What do they really mean when they say they want the United States to be a “Christian Nation”?

  We have all heard the call of a few religious people who want the United States to be recognized as a “Christian Nation”. Besides the fact that the United States Constitution does declare the following:

  The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights. (Wikipedia)

  it seems as though the people clamoring for this country to become something the Founding Fathers did not intend have not thought out their request very thoroughly.

  But let’s, for the sake of argument, go down that rabbit hole.

  First, let’s take a look at countries that do in fact have a theocratic government. There are two countries commonly recognized to have a theocratic government. Vatican City and Iran. Theocratic government being defined as a form of government where all government functions (and decision-making) is done by the religious hierarchy.

  If we were to declare that the United States was a “Christian Nation” is this what they intend? To listen to some talk, yes. This would be a country where all governmental officials could be held to a religious test, and if they didn’t pass said test would be barred from holding office. This also could mean that any and all laws would carry a religious test also, being drafted and upheld based on religious dogma and doctrine. To hear some politicians talk, they believe that government officials and judges should be able to legislate and practice their position from a religious stand point. What that means is they can make laws and rule on cases as their religious beliefs dictate regardless of the equality and justice of the situation or the people involved.

  This also means that biblical laws that are not Constitution at the moment, could become the law of the land instead of the direction the Founding Fathers had set the country on. Forget the fight to keep the Ten Commandments off the courthouse lawn. Now you have to worry about laws dictating other aspects of your life – depending on which ones are crafted into law by the theocracy.

  Now, let’s take a look at countries with a State Religion. These include counties like Israel, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Norway, Finland, Cambodia, Thailand, and many, many others (Wikipedia). This is commonly considered a country in which a specific religion is recognized and sanctioned by the ruling government. Said religion may be the only religion allowed, or just be the preferred religion of the government, but all the government functions (and decision-making) are not specifically done by the religious hierarchy.

  This might be more like what some want the United States to be like. A recognized preference for Christianity over all other religions. Christians get favorable treatment when it comes to laws, hiring practices of companies, who companies are allow to deny services to based on religion, etc. In this scenario Christians could do as they please to deny others of a different religion anything they want, whether that be medical services, legal services, restaurants, cabs rides, housing, employment, et al. It would, in effect, legalize discrimination based on whatever the person do the discriminating wants as long as the person discriminating is Christian. There may be lip service to allowing people who believe in other faiths to co-exist, but only with the knowledge that they are not the “favorite” with special privileges. Essentially creating a class state of second class citizens.

  Have we gone far enough down the rabbit hole yet? I think not…

  So, let’s go a little bit further. Take either choice, theocracy or state religion. Doesn’t really matter which. Now the one million dollar question…

  Which denomination of Christianity gets the big nod?

  According to the 2006 Yearbook of American and Canadian Churches: there were 217 Christian denominations listed. But there may well be other groups that function as a denomination but do not regard themselves as such. The single largest religious group in the United States is the Roman Catholic Church, which had 67 million members in 2005.

  So, by this statistic, since the Roman Catholic Church is the largest religious group in the United States, should it get to set the rules in a theocracy? Then we would just be another part of Vatican City, the seat of the Catholic Church, and the Pope would be the top government official. Or should we opt for a state religion with the preferred denomination being Roman Catholic? What about all those other denominations?

  How about Lutheran? It is a denomination, but we would need to decide which sect of Lutheran within the denomination also. According to Wikipedia there are at least fifty-two denominations within the Lutheran denomination. Everything from the Association of Free Lutheran Congregations, to the Lutheran Free Church, to the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod, to the Church of the Lutheran Brethren of America, and so on. Each with their own way of interpreting what it means to be Lutheran. Each with their own way of interpreting what it means to be Christian.

  Or, how about Baptists? Presbyterians? Methodists? Mormons? Jehovah’s Witnesses? Anglicans? Calvinists? Pentecostals?  Quakers? Amish? Unitarians? Christian Scientists? Westboro Baptist Church? Reformists? Creationists? Literalists?

  Whose denomination gets preference?

  If you think that declaring the United States a Christian Nation is all it would take and then all would be right at last and God would again cast His grace over the country, then by whose rules do we govern and live by?

  It’s not as simple as it sounds, is it? Once this country would be declared a Christian Nation and acknowledged by the government as such, there would be a very brief pause…

  And then all hell would break loose.

  No longer would there be anything to protect those who are not Christian, because the rules would be different for those who are verses those who are not. And then the infighting between denominations would begin. Tests for who is a “true and correct Christian” would be created. Each denomination, and potentially each denomination within a denomination, would want their version of God’s Law used and in place.

  If history has shown anything, it’s that once a civilization reaches a certain size, it either needs to adapt or it will fail. If we were to crawl backwards in time and declare the United States as any type of theocracy or implement any type of state religion we would not only be dismantling all the ideals and laws built on those of our Founding Fathers, but would also be reducing this great country to cesspool of human against human, all based on which invisible being they prayed to.

  This country is great NOW because we allow differences. This country is great NOW because of our open arm policy for diversity. This country is great NOW because our Founding Fathers had the foresight to keep religion OUT of politics and in the home and churches where it belongs. Not in laws, legislature, the courts, public schools, businesses that serve the public, the military. You can keep your faith, your beliefs, in your heart and home and church. But in the eyes of the government we are all equal in our freedoms – or at least we should be (we still have some work to do on that but we’re learning and progressing).

  Celebrate our great nation as a nation that is inclusive, not exclusive. Recognize that the differences between us are small and that together we are strong. Honor those who have fought and died before us to keep the dream our Founding Fathers envisioned alive. A fluid, adapting, inclusive country that shows the world what it’s like to live with others that don’t believe as we do, but we care about just the same. Release your fear of the unknown and the fear of becoming obsolete. No one wants to take your religion from you. Quite to the contrary, we all want to practice, or not practice, as we feel is best for us and let you do the same without fear of persecution or discrimination. All we ask for is the same courtesy.

Kyriea would ask questions too.

  “Grandfather, how did women go from being equal to men to now being property? How did men like yourself not keep other men from making such strict rules and then enforcing them?”

  Kyriea’s grandfather had gotten a sad look on his face when she had asked those questions.

  “My dear, Kyr, there is no good answer for that, except to say that we did nothing because we kept telling ourselves that it would never get this far. The truth of the matter is that women never have been truly equal. Ever. Oh, maybe way back when, thousands and thousands of years ago, before men decided they wanted power and control, but even before the war women were paid less for the same job a man held, fewer women were in politics, owned companies, and all that. But it was more equal than it is now, obviously. But there was a growing movement of men who didn’t like that women had that much power over their own lives. It started slowly. An added law here or right revoked there. Have I ever told you there was a time that a woman could go into a clinic and terminate a pregnancy because she wanted to?”

  Kyriea shook her head in disbelief.

  “It’s true. Women could choose, not only where she lived, who she lived with, what job she wanted to do, but also whether or not she wanted to be pregnant. Birth control was widely available, so pregnancy was controlled. If you didn’t want to have children, you didn’t have to. But extreme, religious nutjobs wanted to control all that. They didn’t think women should have choices. Even over their own bodies. They bombed clinics and killed doctors. They made laws that made it difficult for women to take care of themselves. They even, once, made a husband keep his dead wife, who died while eighteen weeks pregnant, on life support in the hopes that a dead corpse would be enough to sustain a growing fetus. Women meant nothing to these people, even in death. They called it ‘pro-life’. Even though once the child was born they didn’t care what happened to it. Kind of ironic that now these same religious extremists kill baby girls all in the name of their ‘God’.”

  Andrew Volk shook his head. Kyriea could tell what he was talking about upset him still.

  “Grandfather, you don’t have to tell me any of this if you don’t want to.”

  “No, my child. You need to hear this. It started with women’s health. Laws were changed or created that made it almost impossible for women to get good health care, saying that they didn’t need all the preventative procedures. Then it was the abuse laws. There once was a time where a man could beat his wife and not get into trouble. Then laws were put into place where the husband could be charged, and convicted, of abuse. Those laws were the next to go. Now men could abuse their wives and no court would help her. Then divorce. Women could no longer ask for a divorce. Only the man could divorce a woman. Then laws about rape. Women began losing case after case in court when they tried to convict a man of rape. The defense attorneys would bring up a woman’s past and used it against her. Then housing. No apartment wanted a single women renting from them, and no community wanted a single woman owning a house in their community. It was too tempting and dangerous. They feared the women would draw to them men who wanted to do violence. And it went straight downhill from there. And the sad part is there were many women who spoke out about how these new laws would be good for the country. ‘Get back to family values’ they said. And all the while they were pounding the nails in their own coffins. Sometimes literally.”

One Simple Life [Lynn Salisbury] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. A first person account of a very simple, yet inevitably important, life. Through the words and thoughts of one simple voice comes a re-telling of a well known story told like you've never heard before. Flash through this short story and live the full life of one simple person

It's been a while since I posted here. It's been a crazy summer. But one of the things I'm so happy to share is that during all the crazy I finally published one of my books with createspace in paperback.

It's a book that still touches me deeply and profoundly. One that even now I wonder how I came to be blessed to share with everyone. One that always brings me to tears at the end. And one that I'm glad I chose to be my first to publish in paperback.

It's a story I'm still not sure I told as much as I was used as the device by which the story was told through. But I'm honored either way to have been able to bring to all of you.

If you get a chance to check it out, please do so. You can find the ebook and paperback versions at amazon.

I walk between the day and the night; the dark and the light

I maintain and uphold Universal Truth; even when it does not seem compatible with the truth of man

I am Justice. You may see my actions as harsh and unforgiving; but in truth I am unbiased and fair

I am Truth. You may not like what I have to say; but deep down you know my words ring true.

I am Balance. Without the night the day is too bright. Without the day the dark would devour all

I am Life. The reason for being

I am Death. The reason to begin again

I am Love. The gentle love of a mother’s hug; the raging passion of creation

I am the Warrior. I will do what must be done because it must be done

I am Compassion. I see into your soul and I understand; and I still love you for who you are

I am Forgiveness. For to live is to be human. To be human is to be just short of perfection

I bow to no one

I justify my actions and myself to no one

I am your best friend. I will be there when you need me

I am your worst enemy. I can destroy you if I have to

With one word I can raise you up to the highest peaks or destroy your very soul

I am to be feared. I am to be respected. I am to be given my rightful due

I am worthy of your unconditional devotion, worship and love

I don't know about anyone else but this article blew me away this early Monday morning. What a load of crap! Obviously Joe Soucheray has some issues with women. Single moms to be more specific.

Trying my hand at another blogging site. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it but I can honestly say starting new at something can definitely be confusing.

But if I can't reach people in one venue, time to look for other venues that might just have a few people interested in what I have to say.

Personal privacy.

Not something the internet allows. If it's out there - it's OUT THERE. Forever.

So why do we post and blog and tweet our entire lives for the world to see? Do we need to hear ourselves think? Do we need to find someone to sit down with us at our "pity party" so bad that we are willing to bear our self-victimized souls to the world looking for that one "misery loves company" enabler? Do we really need the "I'm ok" dysfunctional acceptance from people we don't know and would never care about besides the fact they read what we posted and commented how sorry they were?

Before the internet the only person(s) you had to avoid if you didn't want all your personal business relayed to the neighborhood was the town gossip(s). Now we are our own worst enemies. We are the town gossip talking about not just everyone else but also ourselves. Some things should stay private. Some things should remain a secret from the outside world.

I could tell you about the goofy things my kids and husband say all day long. I think some of them are funny, some are weird and some are down right disturbing. But it's MY inside joke/laugh. Not meant for the world. You wouldn't probably get it anyway and then it loses its humor. So I don't share.

I could tell you what I had for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack. Where I was when I ate said meal. What I was wearing. When I have to work, when I get off work, what I'm doing after work and with whom. I can even GPS tag where I am at every moment and tag others with me.

You could stalk me all day long because I would be ALLOWING you too. Hell! I would be encouraging you to since I just told millions of people who could see where I was if they gave a shit EXACTLY where I was. So I guess you really wouldn't be stalking me though would you........

And people do this every day. Give away what little personal information they have left of themselves out there for everyone to see and comment on. Or take advantage of.

And we seem to be fine with that!

However, if someone DOES start to stalk us, make negative comments about our personal lives, et al THEN we get upset and tell them to "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS".

Can we say hypocritical much?????

Had a bad day? Hell, just tell the world.

Pissed at someone? Go right ahead and tell the world and of course "warn" the other person they better STFU "or else" (rolling eyes at that one because we all know you are much braver hidden behind the computer than you would be face to face).

Do ALL of it! Because you already do.

But don't blame the world when you tell ALL and then someone decides to comment on it in a way you don't like. You can't have it both ways. Either deal with other people's opinions about YOU telling all or STFU in the first place and don't share every moment of your life with everyone.

Just because you can now share EVERYTHING does not mean you have to - or should. Some things are private for a reason.

I've been saying this for years. Rear view mirrors are for cars. NOT life.

When you always look behind you, instead of in front of you, you focus on the past, not the present or future. While looking back brings fond memories to mind - lets us remember moments and people that mean something to us even in the present - it is not a way to live.

Social media allows us glimpses into other people's lives. Sometimes more of a glimpse than we really want to see. But of all the glimpses that I see, the ones that disturb me the most are the posts about someone's past. And not just a momentary blip, but a constant rehash of the past.

We all carry baggage from life. Some more than others. But when you add looking backwards all the time to the baggage we carry, you might as well just sit down on your life path, facing your past, surrounded by your baggage, and just sit there. It's easier than moving forward with your head spun 180 degrees behind you dragging baggage that just weighs you down.

It's fine, and healthy, to look back once in a while - remember where you've been - what it took to get to where you are now. It's fine to carry a little baggage with you in life - to remember some things that should never be forgotten. It is NOT healthy to continue to relive the past, drag it with you wherever you go - not allowing the past wounds to heal. Once those wounds heal you can look back on the memory and it doesn't hurt as much.

I'm not saying you should forget. I'm not saying the memory won't have its stinging moments. But you need to move FORWARD. HEAL. EMBRACE THE MOMENT. You can't embrace the moment when your arms are full of past baggage and wrapped around your person holding on so tightly to the past.

MOVE ON. MOVE FORWARD.

For some forgetting is the easiest way to move forward. For others talking about it is. But there are extremes to both of these ways and both extremes are not healthy. When you try to forget, it has a way of creeping up and slapping you in the face when you least expect it - and you are not prepared to handle it. When you talk about your past over and over again you find yourself mired in your own past, like quicksand, and find at some point that you are stuck. What started out as a theraputic way to work through the pain becomes the only thing you have left to hang on to - lest you drown in it. And the pain you hold on to holds you back - consumes you.

LET GO. MOVE ON. MOVE FORWARD.

I'm not saying it's easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. But it is necessary.

Remember that loved one who passed and cherish the moments you had with them. Do not martyr yourself that you live and they do not. That's not life. Take a moment and reflect, remember, smile - but don't let it freeze you in the moment. Let it wash over you like a cool summer breeze and enjoy it. Close your eyes and remember. Then open them again and move forward.

Remember that difficult time and learn from it. Smile and be proud that you got through it - past it. No matter how many people helped you along the way YOU had to get through it yourself. Embrace that moment and realize how strong it makes you TODAY. Not how difficult it was yesterday.

Every once in a while stop on your life path and open a piece of that baggage you carry with you. Pick a memory that you find not so difficult to remember, hold it, remember it, let it wash over you and through you. Then set that piece of baggage on the side of the road and only take with you the memory - not the weight of it - as you move forward. Do this once in a while and over the course of time your baggage will be lighter, your steps easier, the path forward clearer.

REMEMBER. LET GO. MOVE ON. MOVE FORWARD.

There are so many times I want to remind people of this when I'm on a social media site. It's not an easy thing to do. But I am a walking, talking example of how this can work - how it does work. That's not to say I don't have baggage. I even look behind me once in a while. And on the rare occasion I think to myself "what if". But I don't live in that moment. I live THROUGH it. And I MOVE ON.

Just imagine the moments in life you are missing by always looking backward. Turn your head around and LIVE.

Remember the past - live in the present - hope for the future.