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An overcast hangs in the sky, yet the weather is still warm. You sweat on your way to Jaebeom’s place. He’s asked you out on another date, 3 weeks after the last one, and you still have no idea how to feel about him. In that time, you’ve met with Jimin every chance you had, going out to try food places around town, hanging out at the park, you even reconnected with his parents one day last week. They treated you like family and scolded you for not visiting them during his 3 year absence but said they understood why it was hard for you. After meeting with them and going on several… outings, you guess… with Jimin, now you don’t know what Jaebeom’s role is in all this. He is a really strong boyfriend candidate, especially compared to other men that you’ve seen, but you just can’t let Jimin go. And apparently Jimin is beginning to feel something toward you as well. 

Just as you reach your destination, a text from Jimin comes through your phone. Looking down at it before exiting your car, you nearly choke on air at what it says.

Jimin 🐥: Hey, how would you feel about going on a date with me?

Jimin 🐥: Like, a real date

You stare at the message for about a minute before another one comes through.

Jimin 🐥: You don’t have to of course!

And then the typing bubble appears, disappears, then reappears several times before going away one final time. Jimin wants to go on a date with you? A real life, romantic date with romantic intentions? The timing couldn’t be worse. Jaebeom appears in his front door, waving at you and startling you into action as you turn off your car and head to him. Today’s destination is the small fair being held in your town, and he seems really enthusiastic about it. The unanswered message in your phone taunts you as you transfer into Jaebeom’s car, beginning the drive to the fairgrounds.

“Are you okay?” He asks, noticing the shadowed look on your face. He glances over at you to double check, and you give him a brief smile.

“Yeah!” You say through a sigh. “Just worried about if it’s going to rain on us later.” To corroborate your lie you lean in toward the window to observe the sky, overcasting clouds now darkening ever so slightly. The air is humid and sticky and you can’t help but want to go home. 

“Eh, I don’t think it’ll rain on us. They aren’t calling for showers until later tonight.” Your date states confidently, dismissing your concerns. Not that it mattered, you somewhat hope it rains so you get to end the date early. You still haven’t responded to Jimin yet and you’re halfway through the drive, so you resolve to give him an answer by the time you reach the fair. 

The car ride is heavy with silence despite Jaebeom playing his “best” playlist for you and humming along occasionally. You don’t say much of anything to him and he starts to worry that something happened to you in the time since he last saw you. You seemed so bright before, relieved and free, but now you seem burdened with something that weights down your shoulders and face, making you look tired. He won’t ask if you aren’t willing to talk about it on your own, you know he’s always willing to help or lend a listening ear so he isn’t too worried. You’ll open up eventually. But when he parks his car and sees you texting someone, he becomes a bit curious.

You: I’d love to! How’s tomorrow?

And at the top of the screen is Jimin’s name. 

This wouldn’t be cause for concern except for the fact that somewhere in Jimin’s messages Jaebeom spots the word “date”. No, it’s none of his business what you do with other men, especially since he shouldn’t be looking at your phone anyway— and most importantly, he’s not your boyfriend— but he feels a pang in his heart nonetheless. He tries to remind himself that he’s the one that you’re on a date with right now, not Jimin, and gets out of the car, prepared to blow you away today. He opens your door for you and offers his hand when you get out, and at least that earns a shy smile from you. See, it will be fine. Your phone buzzes just as you reach the entrance, but both of you choose to ignore it.

The mood of this date is so much different than your last one that it makes your stomach knot up. Your attitude shift toward Jaebeom is unintentional, yet you are terrible at hiding how you feel and your inner turmoil. You went from nearly jumping his bones at the end of the last date to barely making eye contact today, and he knows it isn’t because you’re embarrassed.

Halfway through the date, he decides to confront you about it, something that shocks you. But you sorta like how head-on he is.

“Is something wrong?” He steps in a little closer to you to ask in a hushed voice, minding the people surrounding you.

“No? Why do you ask?” You try your best to keep a neutral face, feeling like you’ve been caught stealing from the cookie jar.

“No, I mean, did I do something to upset you? You’re acting weird today.” He dips his shoulder to weave through the crowd as you both walk to the next attraction. You haven’t even been paying attention to the games the two of you have been playing at the various stalls and it feels like he’s wasting his money and time. “You don’t really seem like you’re here all the way. Does this have something to do with last time?” He asks cautiously, not knowing if that was why you said yes to Jimin and have been acting distant towards him.

“No! Of course not, last time was fine.” You bite your lip as anxiety starts to bubble within you. Had he seen the texts you shared with Jimin?

“Then why are you so hesitant today? It makes me feel like I did something wrong.” He nearly pouts as he says this, frowning for a second longer before taking your hand to pull you aside. “Look, if it has something to do with whoever you were texting earlier, can you at least try to forget about it for just a little while and be here with me? I don’t want to be in your business or anything, but I do want you to enjoy today. Let me help you feel better.” 

So he does know. You feel heat crawl up your neck at the thought of him catching you texting your ex (?) while on a date with him, but he doesn’t seem too pissed about it so you resolve to let it go. You briefly think about telling him that Jimin texted you just to gage his reaction, but that would be messy and you don’t particularly want drama on the off chance he doesn’t take the news well. Jaebeom is nothing if not cool headed and you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t blow up about something like that, but you won’t take the chance. Plus, he’s offering to help you feel better after seeing how much of a “funk” thinking about Jimin has put you in. You decide to keep your mouth shut and attempt to have fun just for him.

Snapping back to reality, you look up and meet his eyes for the first time today. The sincerity in his eyes makes you relax just enough to agree. You were being kind of a bitch this whole time, you should be ashamed. He doesn’t deserve the treatment you’ve been giving him, and if you didn’t want him in your business you shouldn’t have made it his business in the first place by acting like this. He was right to confront you about it. But you can’t help acting like this because you can’t stop thinking about Jimin every 5 seconds. A swirl of emotions was building inside you, making you nervous, excited, and conflicted about the fact that he wanted to go on a date with you. Like the one you’re on right now. You try to imagine what Jimin’s reaction would be if you acted like this tomorrow, and the hurt that would likely be in his eyes is what snaps you out of it. If you wouldn’t treat Jimin like that, why would you do it to Jaebeom? Softening your face, you nod at him, allowing him to pull you away.

He takes you to the kettle corn stand first, remembering how you said that was your favorite carnival snack, and buys a big bag of it for you to share. You smile ever so slightly as he hands it to you, thanking him and taking a large handful of the kernels to stuff your face with. Gracefully, of course. He can sense your gratefulness and tries to do even better to make you smile, grabbing the bag from you and telling you to watch as he throws three pieces in the air at once, preparing to catch them in his mouth. You watch in horror and amusement as he trips on an uneven patch of pavement and stumbles almost to the ground, equilibrium off from looking up at the sky, dropping the entire bag of kettle corn on his way down in an attempt to catch himself. It spills everywhere, kernels flying in different directions on the ground, people stepping over the mess and ultimately crushing each delicious bit beneath their dirty shoes. 

He looks back up at you pitifully from his crouched position on the ground, and you nearly walk away from him in embarrassment, hiding your mouth so he doesn’t see you laughing. He stands and approaches you, apologizing for the lost popcorn, and that’s when you turn to him with that brilliant smile of yours that lights up the dreary skies. His eyes light up accordingly after having unintentionally made you smile for the first time since the date started and he looks at you with admiration as he says, “you have such a beautiful smile”. 

His words echo Jimin’s and you falter for a second, brushing him off and picking up the almost empty bag of of your snack from the ground. The accident wasn’t very helpful in making him more attractive, that’s for sure. He did, however, succeed in lightening the mood, and for that you are thankful. 

“We should buy more. I’ll pay this time.” You offer, and he declines, beginning to pull out his wallet when the sales person calls you over. They hand you a new bag of kettle corn with a smile. 

“I saw the whole thing and thought I should give you a free bag so this pretty lady doesn’t break up with you over a stunt like that.” They laugh, earning a chuckle from the both of you. “You’re a very cute couple by the way.” They say as they send you off and you don’t have the heart to tell them that Jaebeom is not your boyfriend. He seems to be relishing in the compliment, though, as he decides to let you hold the bag this time while he occupies his hand with your free one. You let him. 

The date doesn’t continue much longer before the rain starts, dark grey clouds rolling over each other in an angry waltz of thunder that sends you running for the car. And the date ends with you drenched in his car as he drops you off at your home. You don’t invite him in this time but you offer a quick peck on the lips out of sympathy. 

——

It’s still raining when you wake up. Water streaks your window in rivulets that make a pretty picture against the dark sky. You pour your usual cup of coffee, two sugars and creamer to make it taste good, and sit in silence listening to the rain knock against your home. Brush your teeth and style your hair, shower. You drag through your routine this morning. You’re going to dinner with Jimin today and don’t have any other plans, so it’s okay if you stay in your pajamas for the time being. 

It’s a lazy day of binge watching a new show and trying to get the motivation to workout. But you don’t really feel like showering again today. But you want abs. Hmmm. You do a quick workout and shower again just before you have to get ready for the date. It’s easy to get dressed because you already picked out an outfit to wear, nothing too sexy, but something that’ll catch his eye. 

You reach for your go-to date accessories: some hoop earrings, some rings, and a gold necklace that was gifted to you last year, putting them on without a thought as you daydream about Jimin. How will he look today with his hair styled and outfit meticulously fussed over? You’ve seen him dress up many times, but you can’t help but wonder if he has different taste now. Or maybe you’re overdressed and he’ll go for something more casual? Now you’re overthinking as you absentmindedly reach for more jewelry and start doing your makeup, hoping that he decided to dress nice too. No, less jewelry is better you decide, taking things off and leaving on the prettiest of the bunch, your indecisiveness even irritating yourself. He probably won’t even notice. No, knowing him, he’ll notice every detail about you and commit it to memory like he used to do. 

Looking over yourself in the mirror, you feel like you’ve done this before. Worn your makeup just like this and put on the exact same accessories, save for the necklace. You imagine that night all over again, with Jimin coming up behind you in the mirror and placing his delicate hands on your hips, complimenting you on just how stunning you look, even in the shitty lighting of your bedroom. He’d lean in as you spray on perfume, resting his chin on your shoulder, and his cologne would mix with your own flowery scent in a way that made you want to melt into him, your whole body relaxing in his hold. You can almost feel the heat of his palms on your sides, nearly smell his signature scent, but then the memory is gone and you’re left alone and wanting in your bedroom, nerves bundling up in your stomach as you think about facing the man you were just fantasizing about.

The restaurant you chose is new in the area so this will be both you and Jimin’s first time dining here. It’s nothing too fancy and you heard the prices are good for how amazing the food is, so you thought it would be the perfect place to take him in your first official date. The first first date you had with him all those years ago was at Full Moon, which has a casual atmosphere and is somewhere you would take your friends for drinks on a Friday night, but you were charmed by it nonetheless because Jimin claimed they had the best food in town. Surprisingly, you hadn’t been there until that first date, and even more surprisingly, Jimin was right about the food and that quickly became Your Spot. You doubt the same will happen at this new restaurant but you appreciate the classy atmosphere it brings.

You step through the doorway to find Jimin just taking a seat in the waiting area, his butt not even fully touching the cushion yet before he spots you and hops up.

“(Y/n)!” He greets cheerfully— almost too cheerfully. You can tell he’s nervous just from that one word and it almost brings you comfort that he’s also feeling some of the nerves you are. This is big for you. A date with Jimin means that you will possibly pursue a relationship with him if all goes well, and that is something you never thought you’d be able to do. And if that happens, what will become of your relationship with Jaebeom? You completely ignored him on your date yesterday and he still tried his absolute hardest to show you a good time. Would he easily let you go if you told him you were getting back together with your “dead” “ex”? You doubt it. Those thoughts all run through your head simultaneously in an instant before you shake them away and greet your date back. 

“Hey!” You reach him in 2 steps and suddenly you’re face to face with the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen in your life. His blonde hair is slicked back away from his face, highlighting the undercut he has and framing his beautiful facial features as if he were a living, breathing work of art. His eye makeup is smoky and shaped perfectly around he’s eyes, even on both sides and better than you could possibly do with your own makeup. He’s got on a white button down shirt and dress pants, with matching dress shoes, and you could drop dead at how good he looks right now. His glossy lips pull into a smile and you open your arms for a polite hug just to get closer to him. He hesitates but ultimately takes up your invitation and gives you a brief, and somewhat awkward, hug. His cologne invades your nostrils, not too strong but enough to have you forcing yourself not to bury your nose in his neck to smell more of the delicious scent. It’s the same scent as the one he used to use, the one you picked out for him when you were still just friends and you went out shopping as a group. The one you said would smell good on him so he bought it that day and kept buying it intentionally after that because he knew you liked it. The one that was hard to find now, so you know he must have put in at least a little effort to find it again, even though he probably didn’t remember where he got it from. You ask him about it.

“You smell nice. Where did you find that cologne?” 

“Oh, this?” He pulls at the collar of his shirt where he must have sprayed it. “It was in my room back home. I really liked it so I went searching and bought some more because it was almost out. I’m glad you like it.” He blushes, looking away from your eyes. You smile at the fact that your past actions still have an impact on him now even if he doesn’t remember them. It’s evidence that he isn’t completely gone, that everything that happened between you before this wasn’t for nothing. “You smell nice too, and you look stunning!”

Stunning. His favorite adjective to use whenever you would dress up. He said it’s because sometimes he’s literally stunned into silence over how good you look. You chuckle to yourself at the memory, all of this feeling like déjà vu.

“Thank you. I could say the same about you. You look very handsome.” He looks down bashfully, opening his mouth to say something— probably about how he doesn’t look nearly as good as you— but he’s interrupted by the hostess.

“Park, table for 2!” She sounds, and the both of you follow her into the restaurant to your table. 

Food and drinks come over casual conversation and it’s so easy to talk to him once the formalities are done with that you no longer feel nervous. He’s still reluctant to meet your eyes for very long and he keeps fussing with his hair as if worried that one stray piece of hair will change your perspective of him, and each passing second you grow more and more fond of him. This is nothing like your date with Jaebeom yesterday. This feels easy and light despite the weather outside reflecting the same gloom as it did the day before. Jimin is just as polite as the other man, pulling out your chair, letting you order first, letting you try his food when you keep staring at his dish with drool nearly dripping off your lips. The date is filled with laughter and smiles and you haven’t had to force them at all. But something seems to be bothering him the longer you talk.

Once again his eyes fall to your hand as you reach for your glass on the table. He clears his throat for the hundredth time tonight and you raise your eyebrows when it finally looks like he’s going to say something.

“So, are you engaged?” You can tell he is attempting to relax himself as he speaks to you, but you can see the tension in his shoulders. The question shocks you, unsure why he would ask such a thing, until he points to the ring on your finger and your blood runs cold.

You must have slipped on your engagement ring when you were absentmindedly throwing on jewelry, reaching for the piece out of habit when you were thrown into your old date night routine in your excitement to see him again. It’s happened before; you’ve worn your ring to work a few times on sleepy mornings where you didn’t have enough energy to pay attention to what you were doing and moved completely on autopilot, and your coworkers were just as confused as Jimin seems to be now. Embarrassment floods your system and you feel your ears turn red as you realize your mistake. He wasn’t supposed to find out this way and you’re not prepared for this. But it’s happening anyway.

“Technically, no.” Your answer only serves to confuse him more and you take a deep breath as you search for the words to explain it to him. “This is actually the ring… you… gave me, when you proposed over three years ago.” He looks at you blankly, eyes searching yours as if to ask if you were serious. “We were engaged.” You finally break it down for him and his mouth opens. After a long stretch of silence he finally finds the words to respond to you. 

“You said we dated.”

“We did date. Before we got engaged.” He doesn’t like your answer, eyebrows furrowing and lips pulling into a thin line of displeasure. 

“Well I would think that would be an important detail to share if I asked what our relationship was.” He frowns. He is being completely reasonable right now but you still feel defensive.

“I didn’t think you were ready to know. It’s a pretty heavy piece of information.”

“But I deserved to know our history. How did you think I would react? Did you think I would be disgusted if you told me?”

The noise of the restaurant drowns out your argument, but your waiter approaches mid sentence and hears the heated conversation. He walks away before he can interrupt. That’s what makes you feel embarrassed the most, knowing that everyone who hears what you are arguing about would probably think you’re dumb for making that decision. Why wouldn’t you tell the him about your past engagement? It’s in the past and shouldn’t effect how he thinks of you now, but that’s not how you felt about it. “No, but I know how you are. You’d probably beat yourself up about not knowing who I am and what we were and then it would be awkward between us. I didn’t want you to feel pressured to get to know me again, or feel like you had to rush to get back to where you were in my life just because of some past label. I wanted to start over with you.”

“But in the process of doing that you lied to me.” You can see Jimin thinking really hard about the situation, trying to keep a cool head and not feel slighted by you. It upsets you to see that you upset him. 

“It wasn’t really a lie.” You say quietly.

“A lie of omission is still a lie.” At this you lower your head, biting your lips. He’s right and you know it. You try your hardest not to tear up at his disappointment in you. And your disappointment in yourself. “It’s a beautiful ring,” he says after a minute of silence. “I just wish you would have told me about it sooner. I know it’s not really my fault but I feel like an asshole for not knowing.” Just like you knew he would.

“But you can’t control the fact that you don’t remember. Please don’t feel bad.” You plead, trying to help him not feel guilty about something that is out of his control.

“I know,” he sighs, running a hand through his neatly combed hair, and somehow it makes him look even more attractive. “I just keep thinking about how you must have felt when you were hiding it from me. Knowing your fiancée knows nothing about you and doesn’t remember anything about your entire relationship must have hurt, I’m sorry.”

“…Would you have done anything differently if you knew?” You ask, surprising even yourself with the question. He thinks long and hard about it, smiling slightly to himself as he thinks about the time he’s spent with you in the past couple of weeks. 

“I don’t think so. I might have asked you out immediately if I knew because I have the fattest crush on you and now I know you had feelings for me too.” He smiles shyly at you and now it’s your turn to look away from his gaze, turning your head to the side to look out of the window into the darkness of the night. 

“It’s only been 3 weeks since you met me, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Teasing, you smile back at him when he rubs his neck bashfully. 

“It’s funny because I felt this connection with you immediately when we started hanging out. Like my body remembered you and we just fell into a routine together, and it just made me more curious to know who I was to you before— that’s why I ask so many questions. I know it’s only been a short while, but I already feel like I’ve learned so much about you in that time. Truly, you really are an amazing person. I told you, I want to know everything about us, so please don’t hold anything back from me anymore. No more secrets.” He holds his pinky out to you, the finger adorably tiny with a small ring at its knuckle, and you melt a little at the gesture. A pinky promise, one that you’ve made before in another life, one that you’ve broken by withholding information from him. This is your second chance to stay true to it this time. 

“No more secrets.” You promise, wrapping your pinky finger around his and looking into his eyes. You stay there for a few seconds longer than necessary, eyes twinkling in the low light and small smiles pulling at your lips, and you never want to let him go. The ring on your finger was a promise too, one that you wonder if it’s still valid now that things are different. Maybe it will forever remain a promise that he was forced to break. But what if you were able to work back up to that point? Then…

“There’s something else I would like to know,” he suddenly says after your fingers unravel themselves.

“Anything.” You reply, still caught up in his gaze.

“Are you seeing anyone at the moment?” What you meant to say seconds prior was “anything but that” because now your pits are starting to sweat at the thought of telling him about Jaebeom. You haven’t thought about said man since the date began and now Jimin is forcing you to confront the issue.

“Yes.” You say slowly, as if unsure of yourself. 

“Are you dating?” Another uncomfortable question. You want to tell him that you would never have gone on a date with him if you were dating someone else, even if you two had history, but you don’t have the nerve or voice to be sassy.

“Yes. Well, no. We’re dating but we’re not dating. Exclusively, I mean.” When Jimin takes longer than a half a second to say something, you ramble on. “Like, we’ve been on dates over the past few months, but it’s nothing serious. I could drop him today if I wanted, that’s how unserious it is! I won’t do that because that would be mean, but I could! Not that his feelings are more important than yours, it’s just that he’s a really nice guy and I don’t want to hurt his feelings if I’m not sure what me and you will turn out to be,” your words begin to lose steam as you slow to a screeching halt, realizing you’re probably saying too much, “since we don’t really know each other anymore. I was just seeing him because I thought you were dead.”

Pressing your lips shut, you give Jimin the same wide eyed stare that he’s giving you, both of you mirroring each other’s expression. His eyebrows are raised practically into his hairline and he looks almost comical. But you’re sure your expression is even more outlandish as you realize what you’ve just said. And what you’ve said is far too much. 

“Oh. Okay.” Is all he has to say about it for a long moment, watching as you chug your glass of water to cleanse your brain because it must have short circuited at some point tonight for you to have said such dumb things. “I understand,” he says after a second longer. 

“I’m just… keeping my options open.” You say quietly, internally facepalming and resolving not to say anything else because what the hell were you saying?!

“Yeah, that makes sense. Well, hopefully I’m an option on the list after tonight.” Jimin smirks, trying to disperse the awkwardness, but his smile drops when he realizes the double meaning of his words. “I didn’t mean it like that!” He rushes when he sees your eyebrows shoot up. “I meant after tonight’s date, not that I was implying something else would happen tonight.” It’s his turn to be just as flustered as you are, hands flailing as he tries to explain himself, trying to stop himself from saying too much like you just did. 

An angel in an apron appears before you to save you both from yourselves. “Would you like the check?” Your waiter asks.

——

“You what?!” Mina laughs loudly as you explain what happened with Jimin a few nights prior. “How do you accidentally wear your old engagement ring after 3 years?” She cackles, much to your dissent.

“It was out of habit! Going to see him triggered an old routine and I picked it up without noticing.” Pouting, you look to Joy for help. You’re at Joy’s house for a girl’s night, which has devolved into you talking about your love life and spilling tea on your latest date. 

“It’s happened to me before. Once I was driving to a guy’s house and it was a similar route to the way I go to work, so I just went into autopilot mode when I got on that street and ended up at my job at 9 o’clock at night. Happens to the best of us.” She shrugs. 

“How is that even the same thing?” Mina rolls her eyes, claiming irrelevance.

“It is! It’s about routine and habits that are so ingrained in us that we do them without thinking. I think (Y/n) made an honest mistake.” 

“Yeah, an embarrassing one. I was put on the spot by my own actions, I can’t believe it.” You facepalm. 

“So he confessed that he has a fat crush on you right? That’s great!” Joy exclaims, wanting to know more about that part of the story. After you left the restaurant, you and Jimin walked around the area a bit more, talking casually about your time as an engaged couple. He wanted to know everything— how he proposed, how long you were engaged, what it was like living together— and his eyes sparkled as you explained it all. 

“I guess… I still don’t know if it’s right to pursue him or not yet. I told him about us living together and how we acted as a couple and he seemed really interested to know everything. But I feel like if I pursue him romantically now, he’ll just be trying to replicate what I told him about his old self and it won’t be genuine. And then there’s Jaebeom.” All three of you groan at the mention of the name. He’s what complicates things. 

“Forget Jaebeom for a minute,” Mina starts, putting her hands up. “Why do you think Jimin won’t be genuine?”

“Well for starters, he already seems to be trying to gather information about things he used to do, and I think he’s going to use that knowledge to win me over again.”

“What’s wrong with that?” This comes from Mina again.

“I don’t want him to do the things he used to do, I want him to do what feels natural to him. I don’t want him to feel like he has to be that person to woo me, he should just be himself and everything will work out. I don’t want him to try to build this relationship off of what he thinks it used to be. Whether it’s friendship or more.”

“Do you want it to be more than friendship?” Joy looks you in the eyes as if reading yours, and you’re sure she has her answer before you even say anything.

“I… I don’t know. For some reason it feels wrong to say I want to be with him since he’s nowhere near where I am, in terms of feelings and memories. Like, what if I have a savior complex and I’m only trying to date him because I think I’m the only one who can bring his memories back?”

Mina scoffs, “first of all, that’s corny as hell. Secondly, the fact that you’re aware of that possibility probably means that’s not what’s happening. I think you’re still in love with him— as you should be— and you want him back, even if things aren’t the same. He’s still the same Jimin after all.”

“I’m with Mina on this one,” Joy adds, nodding along. “You shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to get back someone you lost. He’s still Jimin, so I think there’s a chance he can grow to love you again too.”

“Yeah, but what if he doesn’t want me the way that I want him? He has a crush on me now, but what if he realizes how I feel about him and thinks it’s too much for him to handle and he starts distancing himself from me because he doesn’t feel the same? What if-“

“Hate to break it to you,” Joy interjects, “but I’m pretty sure he already knows how you feel about him. He just found out you were engaged, I’m sure he’s put together the pieces by now.” She’s right and you know it, and it only makes you worry more. 

Seeing the worry on your face, Mina joins in. “He wasn’t too upset when he found out you were engaged, right? He was more upset that you lied to him, which means it’s possible that he is okay with the fact that your relationship got that far.” When she’s met with silence from you, she continues. “Which means there’s a chance that he wants to get back to that point with you.”

“Okay, that might be a stretch. Just because he didn’t flip out about being engaged doesn’t mean that he’s thinking of proposing again.” Joy bursts her bubble immediately. “We want her to be hopeful, not delusional.” 

“I’m just saying.” Mina rolls her eyes.

“How do I know for sure that he actually wants a relationship with me though?” You press, not convinced.

“Um, he asked you on a date. That’s huge!” You reach for the popcorn as Joy enthuses, stuffing your cheeks to hide your expression. “People don’t ask people on dates if they don’t like them. Well, not usually. Jimin clearly likes you enough to want to get to know you better, that’s why you’ve been hanging out so much. All that sounds like he’s trying to see if a relationship with you would work. At the very least, he wants you around.”

“Look,” Mina begins. “My advice is to not try so hard. Don’t try to force him to love you again and just keep going as you are. He’s obviously putting in the effort to get to know you again and it seems like he’s falling for you all on his own, so stop worrying about it and go with the flow.” She says in a tone of finality. You let her words sink in for a beat. Desperation will get you nowhere in this game of love, so you suppose it makes sense to stop being so worried and let things happen as they come. But then another thought pops into your head.

“Oh god, Jaebeom. What do I do with him?” You groan, running your salty fingers over your face. Now that you’ve accepted that you want something with Jimin, that leaves him left out of the picture. “He asked if I was seeing anyone and I word vomited and confessed that I was seeing Jaebeom. But not dating him, I made that very clear.” You roll your eyes at yourself.

“Man, fuck Jaebeom.” Mina blurts, earning a laugh from Joy and a look of surprise from you. 

“What, why?”

“If it were me, I’d drop him. He’s got things going for him, sure, but he’s nothing special. He’s not Jimin and you know it. If Jimin were out of the picture I would say ‘go for it!’ but since your number 1 choice in the whole world just magically came back from the dead, I say it would be wrong of you not to go for him. All respect to him, but Jaebeom should be the least of your concerns. And if he actually had any real feelings for you, he’d understand.”

“B-but he doesn’t deserve that.” You frown, feeling so icky about it all.

“What he doesn’t deserve is you half-assing a relationship with him while thinking of another man. It’s better to break things off now before things get too serious than to let it go too far and blindside him with a breakup.”

The rest of the night and the entire day after, you think of Mina’s words. No matter how harsh they were, there was some truth to them. Jaebeom was a great guy, but you keep having to convince yourself that he’s worth it to you. He’s smart, funny, keeps you grounded, and isn’t overbearing, plus he’s possibly the most understanding person you’ve met, but Mina is right when she said he isn’t Jimin. Jimin’s heart is 10 times bigger than anyone else’s combined, he’s empathetic, goofy yet serious when he needs to be, a ball of sunshine on your cloudiest days. He’s your rock, the listening ear you always needed, the person who would never judge you for anything, always seeing the best in people and believing in them with his whole being. You need him, and you aren’t sure Jaebeom’s understanding nature would be able to fully accept that. Accept that he isn’t enough to make you suddenly be okay with losing Jimin again. Losing the person that you were engaged to for almost 7 months before he suddenly disappeared into thin air, leaving you heartbroken without the slightest bit of closure or warning. How could he possibly expect you to get over someone like that? No amount of effort Jaebeom put in would be able to surmount the hole in your heart that only Jimin can fill.

But you’ll be damned if he didn’t try.

“I’m feeling sick this week, sorry I can’t.”

“I’m piled high with work, maybe next week?”

“I already have plans!”

Week after week Jaebeom reaches out to you to schedule another date, and week after week you avoid him, coming up with excuses as not to hurt his feelings. You’ve gotten clever in the way you would ask him out on days that you knew he was too busy or that he was doing something else, just so it wouldn’t seem like you weren’t completely blowing him off and avoiding him, and it’s been working.

You: I’m free this evening if you want to catch dinner!

Jae 🤓: Ugh, I have that company dinner tonight so I can’t, sorry!

You: No worries, we’ll catch up another time 

You do feel bad, but there’s no way you can face him after the revelation you had. Too scared to break things off with him and too nervous to face him, you sit in a limbo filled with excuses and failures, feeling like the meanest person in the world. He doesn’t deserve this, but right now you don’t have the courage to do much else.

——

You wake up to the sound of your own snores, laying flat on your back, mouth gaped wide open emitting the loud sounds. You didn’t even know you snored until now. It’s the weekend finally and you were able to get some rest after a stressful week, exhausted from work and avoiding Jaebeom. But today you have something to look forward to: Jimin is coming over to hang out! 

Is it shitty of you to avoid one guy and invite another over? Probably. But are you excited as all hell to have Jimin in the home you once shared with him again? Absolutely. 

The afternoon is bright and humid, the air conditioning on full blast to combat the heat. You make a mental note to buy more creamer as you make your second cup of coffee for the day, wanting to be wide awake for when Jimin arrives later. You have energy today so you make yourself a hearty lunch, your home smelling like your favorite dish, and you sit down watching the newest episode of your show as you eat the delicious meal. Since Jimin came back, you’ve noticed your appetite getting stronger day by day, making you feel proud of yourself for eating consistently. There was a time when Mina and Joy had to come over everyday and force feed you so you’d survive, so this is definitely an improvement. Maybe it isn’t healthy that your well-being depends on one man, but grief does strange things to people.

Opting for comfortable clothes, you make sure to spray air freshener all over your house so it smells nice, and even spritz yourself a few times to add to your natural, freshly showered scent. Running around the house and cleaning like a madman, you want everything to be as presentable as possible when Jimin gets here. This is the first time he’s getting to see your house— the place he once shared with you and lived in himself, where many memories were made together, just you and him. It’s been just you for so long that you almost forgot what it feels like to have a man come over. Sure, Jaebeom was in here a few weeks ago, but he didn’t stay long after your date and it was only because you were hurt. Jimin is coming over solely to see your place of residence and to spend time with you, which feels completely different.

You attempt to calm your heart as you finish tidying up. This is only a small get together among friends, nothing more, so there’s no need to get worked up. It’s not like you’ll be cuddling and kissing at any point in the night, so there’s no reason for you to get giggly and shy over this. You promised him movies and wine and Jimin was sold, stating he’d be there by 7. Your doorbell rings at 6:57. 

“Hey!” You beam once the door is open, revealing a handsome Jimin dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He removes his shoes once he steps through the threshold. “Did you drive here yourself?” You inquire, peeping your head out of the door in search of his car.

“No, I had my brother drop me off. I sorta had to learn how to drive again.” He says sheepishly and your face dims slightly. You guess he forgot how to do that too. “But hey! It’s not as hard as learning to walk again was! I guess my body still kind of remembers how to do it because my brother took me driving earlier today and it wasn’t nearly as tough as I thought.”

“That’s good! I’m sure you’ll get it back in no time.” You nod, feeling slightly awkward for some reason.

“Yeah, I have to take the driver’s test again though, which I’m not really looking forward to.” He follows you to the living room, idly looking around your home while he speaks, and you notice the awe in his face. You have a really nice home, it has always been something you were proud of, especially since both you and Jimin found and picked it out yourselves. It isn’t huge but it’s more than spacious enough for 2 people— let alone one— and you spent hours decorating and furnishing it to make it as comfortable as possible. Jimin seems to appreciate your efforts.

“Do you like the place?” Ignoring what he was talking about prior to this, you allow him to look around better.

“It’s beautiful. I’d love to see more, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, let me give you the grand tour.” Leading him through your home, you walk slowly through every room, watching him as he admires your living space as if it were the first time he’s ever walked through it. Although he used to live here with you, you’ve changed some things around, removed memories that were too painful to live with every day. Despite this, however, his personal touch is not lost on each room, and you immediately see that his taste hasn’t changed.

“I really like how your bed frame and end tables match. It looks really elegant in here.” Jimin comments once you reach the bedroom. Having the two of you alone in your bedroom again makes your heart rate pick up so you opt to stand in the doorway. 

“It was your idea. You picked out the style and colors for them too, so him happy to see you still like them,” you tell him, noticing how he looks proud about his past decision. “I was skeptical at first because I thought it would look too fancy, but once it was all put together and I saw the vision, I have to say, you were right.”

“I sure was, this looks great.” He pats himself on the back, earning a chuckle from you. “Can you tell me more about that?”

“About what?” Your head cocks to the side.

“About us and this house. What was the process of getting it like? How did we manage to decorate everything? How did we even know where to start?” He seems eager to know what it was like owning a home together, and you search your mind for the memories you had stored away. Like the things in the corner of your closet, the memories were stored in a box and untouched, but not forgotten. You’d get a glimpse of them from time to time and take a peek inside just to reminisce, but usually you weren’t strong enough to dump out the entire box and sort through the items it contained. It takes a second for you to think of what to talk about.

“Well for starters, I was the one who found this house in the first place,” you begin, leaning against the doorframe. You tell him about how you both went to an open house on a whim, not expecting to find somewhere that was affordable and close to the town center. Since Jimin loves to socialize and wanted to be near everything, you had very limited options in the area and you worried about finding somewhere that met your needs, but Jimin was the one that stayed positive, joking the night before the open house that people usually find what they need when they stop looking. When you first entered the place it was less than pretty. The decorations from the previous owner weren’t to your taste at all and there was plenty of wear and tear throughout that needed to be fixed. You’d heard there was a family with young kids living there preciously so that made sense. You couldn’t see the vision initially when you walked through, but Jimin had squeezed your hand and painted a beautiful picture inside your mind’s eye about all the possibilities you had with this place. There was one other couple that was interested in living here, but you and Jimin were aggressive in your bid to secure this house, and your hard work paid off and you were able to move in within the month. 

He looks at you in fascination when you begin telling him about how much stuff you had to fix when you first moved in. The shower in the master bathroom barely worked and the plumber was a regular at your residence to fix that and the leaky faucet in the kitchen. There were holes in conspicuous spots on your walls, places that you couldn’t cover up easily, and Jimin had to take a crash course on YouTube of how to patch them up. You’d both spent months repainting everything, picking colors for each room and planning out what would go where and which furniture would look nice with the colors you decided on, and when it was time to place your personal belongings, you found that 70% of what went up on shelves and walls belonged to Jimin, not that you were complaining. You’d laughed when he brought in those huge boxes of things, knickknacks and clutter to make the house feel like a home. To make it feel like you as individuals lived there. You took care of the rest of the decorations and color coordinating in the places that weren’t filled with Jimin’s things, and in the end, it looked like you’d lived there for years. It wasn’t much in terms of flashiness or scale, but it was your home. The place you shared with the love of your life.

“Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed this place was a fixer upper. You did a great job.” Jimin speaks once you finish your tale.

“We did a great job. You were just as much a part of this as I was.” You correct him, leading him to the kitchen to gather snacks and wine to officially start your evening. You pop open one of the bottles, pointing him to the glasses so you could pour each of you a glass. The sound of the liquid filling it’s container makes you feel at ease.

“It must have been hard for you to live here after I disappeared. It seems like this place is full of memories for you.” You can tell he’s sympathizing, but you don’t feel bad about it anymore so he shouldn’t either. 

“It was tough for a while, but I got used to it. It helped to move your things out of sight at first, but I ended up pulling some stuff back out because it felt wrong to remove you from your own home. Like that trophy over there.” Pointing, you bring his attention to the shiny trophy perched on the bookcase. “You won that in high school at a talent show with 5 of your friends. It was a great performance too, you called yourselves-“

“-Bangtan Boys.” Jimin finishes for you, and you look at him in surprise that he remembered. He smiles proudly at the fact that he has a shared memory he can recall with you. “Yeah, I remember, Jungkook and Tae were in the band with me. It was my sophomore year and we got a couple of seniors and juniors in the group after we held auditions.”

You laugh at the memory. “You posted fliers around the hallways looking for talent, claiming to put together a killer boy band for “one night only”. The whole school was excited to see what you guys performed like, and you did not disappoint! What song did you perform again?”

“Perfect Man by Shinhwa!” He nearly jumps up at the memory, both of you singing the opening lines of the song together in harmony, his voice sounding much better than yours. He still remembers all the words and you stare at him as he continues the song, even doing a little bit of the dance to go along with it. During that time, students and even teachers came up to the boys to compliment them afterwards, and they gained temporary fame in the whole school. You recall that performance being the first time your heart truly fluttered for him, not knowing him well at the time but desperate to get to know him after he got off stage. A kid named Namjoon, who was in the group initially but had to pull out of the show at the last minute due to an injury, was in one of your classes and you resolved to get closer to him in hopes that he would introduce you to the electric dancer that took the lead in their show stopping performance. And your hopes came true. Jimin was there every time you went over to speak to Namjoon outside of classes and that was how you became close, eventually weaseling your way into their friend group. But you won’t tell him that simply because you are somewhat ashamed of your sly ways. “Man, take me back. We practically had a fan club after that, I felt like an actual celebrity.”

“You were a celebrity to everyone that saw you, we couldn’t believe how well you could dance! And your ass was definitely something to write home about.” That last part wasn’t supposed to be said out loud and you bite your lips at your mistake, looking to see Jimin’s reaction. But he only turns to look at his backside with a frown.

“Was? Is it not that great anymore?” The pout on his lips is adorable and you almost coo out loud at him.

“No, it is still amazing.” You reassure him, snorting as he continues to pat at his own butt.

“I guess it wouldn’t be as muscular as it used to be, since I don’t really dance anymore. I’ve tried to get back into exercising to build up my muscle strength again, but it’s been hard to stay consistent. My mom keeps telling me I’ve gotten so skinny since she last saw me, so my goal is to gain a little more mass and get my bubble butt back to shape.”

“If you ever need a gym partner, I’m here! I don’t usually like the gym and I might just sit there and watch you the whole time, but I could still be there for moral support.” As a friend, of course, you remind yourself. You used to follow him along to the gym often just to watch him and Jungkook flex their muscles and sweat. Well, you never paid any attention to Jungkook back then. Jimin would work on biceps, abs, and glutes to get his ideal body, but you would always assure him that he didn’t need to do anything since he already had the perfect body. Sometimes he would rent out the dance studio in the back of the gym where classes were held occasionally and he would dance his heart out, perfecting his moves and learning choreography just for the fun of it, then you would go home and he’d ask you to join him in the shower after such a sweaty workout and… 

Shaking those thoughts away, you clear your throat and focus back on the present. Being alone with him was really not good for your sanity with the way you haven’t had sex in nearly a year. You’ve had maybe one or two one night stands over the time that he was gone, but clearly your hormones are running rampant again with your past lover standing right in front of you again.

“Do you like to workout?” He asks, genuinely curious, looking so innocent.

I like to work out with you, if you know what I mean, you think, so glad that this time you kept that thought to yourself. “Ummm, not really. I workout when I feel like it, which is almost never.” You laugh sheepishly, trying desperately to ignore the dirty thoughts bouncing around your empty cranial cavity. Stop it, (Y/n), this isn’t the time to be making dirty jokes! He’s here to spend time with you and you’re going to make things awkward! You scold yourself, taking a deep gulp of your wine as if that would help.

“I feel that. I mean, your body is already perfect, I can’t imagine you needing to work on anything at the gym.” Your eyes widen. Is he flirting with you? That was definitely a compliment, but did he mean it the way you think he did? What other way could he have meant it? The way his cheeks turn a shade of pink tells you his intentions. You hide your face in your glass, finishing your wine before grabbing the bottle and uncorking it.

“Thank you. Would you like more wine?” You ask nervously, holding the bottle out to him.

It’s a little later and the wine has calmed you significantly. Jimin hasn’t tried to flirt with you again after you basically ignored his attempts earlier, and you feel bad about it. But you didn’t know how to respond! This isn’t supposed to be a date, per say, so you weren’t expecting flirting and talk about his ass, though the latter had been your fault. You’re now sitting on your couch watching a movie and eating the food you had just ordered, wine still flowing. You’ve chosen one of his favorite movies to watch, knowing this will be like he’s seeing it for the first time since he doesn’t remember the time period when it came out. It’s an action comedy, which he loves, and there is very little romance, so it won’t be awkward to watch it with him since you don’t have to sit through any sex scenes. 

“Have I seen this one before?” He asks once it starts playing.

“Yes and it was one of your favorites, so I know you’ll like it. Unless you were lying about liking it before.” You snicker. You’d love to have the opportunity to see your favorite movie for the first time all over again, and for the first time you envy his situation.

He reacts to the movie just as you thought he would, laughing at the funniest parts and sitting on the edge of his seat during the action, and you find that you’re watching him more than you’re watching the movie. He’s a movie in and of himself, each facial expression, movement, look in your direction telling a story of its own, and you feel yourself falling hard. Yep, you’re in love with him and it almost feels stronger than it did before. He catches you staring with stars in your eyes, and you force yourself to look away. You hope he doesn’t comment on it. 

Maybe you should make a move to get closer to him. Just close enough that it doesn’t seem like you’re making a move and also allows you to get slightly more intimate in distance than just friends. How receptive to that would he be? And how would you do it? Glancing to the side, you spot the blanket you always keep on your couch for lonely nights where you like to cry and watch sad movies while stuffing your face. Freshly washed and waiting to be used, you reach for the blanket, throwing it over yourself to get comfortable.

Jimin glances over at you and you catch him, watching as he readjusts himself in his spot. The air conditioner is working overtime so there’s a good chance he’s feeling the chill, but you pretend not to notice initially. It isn’t until he starts staring at the edge of the blanket that you speak up.

“Oh, would you like to share the blanket with me? I know it’s kinda cold in here, sorry I should have asked earlier.” Pretending to be an ever considerate host with no ulterior motives, you lift up the end of the blanket that’s closest to him and wait for him to take the bait. Jimin thinks about it for a second longer, looking suddenly shy about the offer, but you can see the goosebumps on his skin and know he’ll take you up on your suggestion if only not to seem rude. Biting his lower lip, he looks between you and the open end of your cover for just a second more, before he finally decides.

“Only if you’re okay with sharing with me.” He says quietly, just as polite as you remember him being. And once you give your consent, your plan falls into place.

He shimmies closer to you until your legs are almost touching, and you throw the blanket over his legs, the warmth under the cover increasing with his added body heat. It’s so simple, sharing a blanket, but this is the closest you’ve been to him in a long while and it makes your heart beat wildly.

“Are you comfortable?” You whisper in a quiet moment on screen. 

“Yeah,” whispering back to you, Jimin peeks over in your direction. He’s still tense, however. And so are you.

The movie continues to play, but you can see Jimin’s focus being divided as he tries his hardest to keep his knee from touching yours.

“You can relax your leg, you know. I don’t mind.” You speak up after a while, shifting to rest your leg against his. He relaxes, allowing his legs to fall open and rest against yours, moving just a bit closer. The skin that connects with him feels hot, and it sends sparks up your spine just to be in contact with him again, even in this small way. You never thought you’d be under the same sheet as him again, drinking wine and watching a movie, but here you are, and you have to admit that it feels pretty good. But it’s also very nerve wracking. 

Looking to the coffee table where your wine glasses sit, you think to drink a sip more of the liquid courage that has gotten you this far tonight, but Jimin must have had the same idea because both of you lean forward at the same time as you’re reaching for your glass. Your close proximity and the darkness in the room makes it hard for you to avoid the collision and you bang your heads together with a teeth-rattling shake.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry!” Jimin starts apologizing immediately before you could do the same. Before you can blink, his hands are cupping your face, inspecting your for any damage, and you freeze in shock at the action. His fingers are hot on your skin and his face is just inches from your own, using the light from the screen to see if he’s left a bruise on your temple from the hit. You aren’t really in pain, but the embarrassment of what just happened along with Jimin staring at you so intently is making your face cringe ever so slightly, so he takes your expression as one of pain. Soft fingers brush over your temple, paired with a sincere gaze as Jimin continues to apologize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were leaning forward too, I should have paid more attention. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, Jimin, I’m fine.” You try to explain, but he simply frowns.

“Are you sure? I have a notoriously hard head.” He says, knocking on his skull for effect and you can’t help but laugh.

“Says who?”

“Says you, apparently, with how you keep wincing every time I touch this spot.” To make his point, he rubs over your temple again and your eye twitches slightly, and he purses his lips at your reaction. “Let me get you some ice.”

Just as he’s about to stand up, hands pulling away from your face you grab him, holding his hand to your cheek and stopping him in his tracks. He looks at you with wide eyes, taking in how you sit there with doe eyes and reddened lips illuminated by the flashing lights on the screen in front of you, the shadows cast on your face revealing your beautiful facial structure. He settles back in his spot, waiting for you to say something.

“I’m fine.” Is all you can manage at the moment, swallowing hard to find your voice again.

“Okay.” He whispers, both of you pausing with his hand still on your face and yours cupping his own. You share a moment, nothing but dramatic music playing in the background from whatever scene is playing out in the movie, and it feels almost surreal to have him here like this. You wonder what’s going through his head and if his heart is beating as fast as yours because you can hardly breathe right now with him in front of you, touching you, just a couple inches away. You want to lean in, slam your lips against his and tell him how you feel. But you don’t know for certain if he feels the same way. All you know is that he’s staring back and forth at your eyes and lips, licking his own, and that he probably wants to kiss you. And you would let him if you hadn’t convinced yourself that his desire to claim your lips is only a product of “the heat of the moment”. Sure, Jimin asked you on a date and wanted to come over to your place to get wine drunk and potentially stay the night. But you can’t say that means he wants what you want. Because you are deeply in love with him and you don’t know if he’ll ever get to that point with you again. So you let go of his hand and pull away, cutting the moment short before he can start leaning in to kiss you to grab your glass of wine. It’s only slightly awkward after that, the tension between you two palpable, but you decide to live with it to not hurt yourself in the future.

After the movie, you’re both wine drunk and full, chatting about what you’d just watched and other things.

“That was really good! I think that’s my favorite movie I’ve ever seen.” He smiles, feeling good. His arms move up to stretch and stupidly you think he’s about to put his arm over your shoulder, and you fluster, throwing the blanket off of your lap and moving to throw away the trash you’d both accumulated. He looks surprised by your sudden move but says nothing. 

“I’m glad you liked it. Now you can talk about it with Taehyung and bond over it again.”

“Oh, has Taehyung seen this too?” Jimin stands to help you clean up, once again entering your personal space even if it’s unintentional. Your hands brush each other as you move to pick up plates and wrappers and you fight with yourself not to snatch away.

“Yeah, you guys went to see this together when it was out in theaters. You two had so many inside jokes from this one movie, it was insane.” You smile, feeling fond of the memories your statement brought up.

“Tae and I used to be really close, huh?” Looking down, Jimin lowers his tone. “I can tell he’s a really good friend just from the time I’ve spent with him so far. He’s got incredible patience and compassion. I always feel like I’m talking to another brother when I’m with him. We just click.” Happy to hear that, you smile.

“Yeah, you always said you two were soulmates. I have to admit, I was jealous of your relationship at times, you guys were thick as thieves.” You move to the sink to wash out your glasses and Jimin follows, standing shoulder to shoulder with you to wash out his own. You feel the urge to lean your head on his shoulder, but you fight it. “Has he told you about some of the things you went through together?”

“Yeah, apparently I went through a really tough time in high school and he was one of the only people there for me. He told me about some things that I’m a little glad I don’t remember. It must have been hard for him to help me through all of it, I can’t even imagine. It makes me wonder if I could ever do something like that.” Looking at him, you raise an eyebrow. How can he, of all people, doubt that he’d be able to stick by someone’s side and be a great friend after all he’s done for every person he’s ever been close with?

“Taehyung helped you through a lot of shit, yes, but you helped him through shit too. Not to mention what you’ve done for me. Bet you didn’t know that.” He shakes his head, leaning in in intrigue. His eyes say “tell me more” so you elaborate. “I can’t speak on Taehyung’s behalf because I don’t know everything that’s happened, but I can tell you what you’ve done for me. First of all, my parents are trash, absolute garbage, I haven’t spoken to either of them in years so you probably won’t meet them unless you really want to-“ you gasp at the realization that you are implying that he will be in a position to meet your parents. As if he were already your boyfriend or something. Hoping he didn’t notice, you continue. “You helped me when they were going though a divorce and blamed me for it. It really took a toll on my emotional health and psyche and I’m sure without you I wouldn’t have made it through that.”

“What did I do to help you?” He’s curious.

“You did what Taehyung did for you. It just helped that you were there when I would call you crying at 4am because I had a nightmare about them, or that you always offered to stay with me when I wasn’t feeling great. You always reassured me of how much you cared about me or how important I am and how none of it was my fault; that they were the ones in the wrong and that they’re just batshit crazy and their marriage falling apart had nothing to do with me. You were the one who told me that it’s okay to let them go. To detach myself from toxic people who were trying to ruin me because I didn’t deserve that. And that stuck with me.”

“So I’m the reason you don’t talk to your parents anymore?”

“No, they did that all on their own. You just helped me realize that I didn’t have to cling onto the hope that they’d change and force myself to be around them when it was clearly not good for me. You helped me make the decision to cut ties with them and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” And that’s why his disappearance was so crushing to you. When he disappeared you felt like you lost your reason for living, the only thing that motivated you to get up in the morning. He was the only person that knew your deepest darkest feelings and secrets, and you trusted him with your life. He took that spot of unconditional love that your parents never filled and without him you were all alone. You could lean on Joy and Mina, and occasionally Taehyung, but he was the only person that was always there when you needed him, the one constant in your life. You guess that’s kind of sad but it’s true. You wonder if it ever got tiring for him being that person for everyone. “So, don’t look up to Taehyung too much because you’re just as much of an amazing person and friend as he is.”

Bumping shoulders with him to show your encouragement, you let him think on your words in silence as you continue to clean up and turn off the tv, preparing for bed. Since it’s so late and you’re too drunk to drive him anywhere, you tell him he should just spend the night here instead of bothering his brother, and lead him to your bedroom where you hand him one of his old shirts that you like to wear and some basketball shorts of his. You kept some of his clothes out of storage because occasionally you like to wear them, like to smell his faint scent and cuddle up in them on lonely nights when you particularly miss him. He’s lost a bit of weight, but the clothes still fit, and you smile at the thought of him wearing his own clothes again in his own home. Even if he doesn’t consider this as his home anymore.

“I can sleep on the couch.” He offers, already heading back out into the living room after getting changed. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we have a king sized bed, we can both fit. We can each have our own sides and still sleep comfortably.” When he gives an unsure look, you add on. “I have extra pillows, we can make a barrier in between us if that will make you more comfortable.”

And he finally agrees, tiredness overcoming him. He always gets particularly sleepy after drinking, right when the buzz starts wearing off and things start to settle down. You can see in his eyes that this is still true, and it makes you laugh on the inside to know that you still know this side of him. Going to bed isn’t as awkward as you thought it would be, even with a pillow fort between your bodies, separating you from even seeing him, but sleep finds you quickly just from having him in the same room as you once again, his body under the same sheets as yours, and his soft snores filling the usually uncomfortable silence that used to bring you nothing but sorrow. You sleep deeply and soundly next to him and it feels like the first time you’ve slept in years when you finally wake up, feeling fully rested for the first time in recent memory. 

The morning comes and you nearly hop out of bed at the sound of your doorbell, both you and Jimin looking at each other in confusion. You hadn’t had time to check your phone yet, so you walk to the door blind as to who it could be, Jimin trailing behind you out of curiosity. And when you open the door, your heart stops.

"I'm sorry, love," Jimin hangs his head low, running frustrated hands through his hair, "I wanted this to be perfect for you but nothing has gone right from the beginning."

A nice vaca was just what you needed and Jimin did not count money as an object when he bought you two tickets to your dream getaway location. Finally, after years of imagining, you were going to go there and experience the adventure for yourself! And with your boyfriend too, which was just the cherry on top.

But now it's looking like you may never get to leave, if the flight keeps getting delayed like this.

"Let's just get something to eat. It's noon and I'm hungry."

"Alright, babe," Jimin agrees, rubbing a hand over your knee. "Sorry, you must be hungry and I'm just sitting here complaining. Let's go get some food."

There's plenty to choose from in the airport. Overpriced Chick-fil-A. Overpriced McDonald's. Overpriced Subway. Overpriced Burger King. Overpriced Panera. Overpriced Frozen Yogurt. Overpriced Asian Fusion.

Really, just take your pick.

Jimin suggests you try a newer looking restaurant that was on the way to your gate. He saw it in passing before and thought it smelled pretty good. You hadn't noticed it but you were also geeking out under the false pretense that your flight would leave on time and you'd be on the way to your vaca by now.

The restaurant is called Buffy's Big Burger Barn and, just like it's name, it's decorations are farmhouse themed and the menu is written in Southern country lingo, much of which you don't fully understand.

But you understand the word burger.

And Jimin understands the word gravy.

"Babe," he says with wide, interested eyes, "they have a gravy burger."

"Yeah, you should try it if you want."

"I wonder…"

Oh shit you know that look. That look that says he's thinking of doing something he probably shouldn't. And it's gonna involve your favorite element in the universe. Messy, sloppy gravy.

"Can I get an extra side of gravy, please?"

The waiter ignorantly says yes, of course.

Next thing you feel is Jimin's hand sliding over your thigh under the table. He leans in closer to your ear and whispers, "Where?"

"Bathroom?"

"Too echoey."

"Yeah, but there's plenty of toilet paper to clean up after words."

"How about right here then?"

You shoot him a look. Is he serious?

"We've got a napkin dispenser. No one is sitting too close to us. Come on, baby, you love my fingers."

"I like your dick more."

He smiles. "I promise to give you a proper fucking once we get off the plane and to our hotel room. Deal?"

He's not wrong, you do love his fingers. The thought of him using gravy as lube to finger you under the table in a public restaurant in a public airport is kinda exciting. As long as no one catches you.

The waiter places your meals in front of you, asks if you need anything else, and politely leaves you to enjoy your food.

Next to Jimin's plate is an extra bowl of smooth, thin, brown gravy hot out of the saucepan. Your mouth starts watering at the mere sight of it.

"Let me sit on the inside," you say and hurriedly switch places so you're between Jimin and the wall.

You bunch your skirt up at your thighs and slightly part your legs for him. He kisses your cheek and says, "Thanks, baby. I'm gonna make sure your cum mixes with this gravy, I promise. I know how much you love to growl my name but keep it to yourself for now and I'll reward you later, alright love?"

You promise with a greedy bite of your lip, feeling his fingers push your panties aside.

"You forgot the gravy, idiot."

"Gotta get you wet fir– oh, nevermind. You're plenty wet already, baby. The thought of my fingers covered in gravy really turns you on, wow."

You'd like to have a comeback for that one but Jimin is too quick. He scoops up some gravy onto two of his fingers, doing a quick sweep of the parameter before sticking his hand under your skirt again.

His fingers part your folds, rubbing the gravy up and down your slit and all over your clit. Your legs are twitching already, tempted to let your head fall back and close your eyes to enjoy the feeling more. But you can't without looking like a slut and giving away your position, so you lay your head on his shoulder and try to make it look like you're just resting.

Jimin doesn't make this easy for you either. Just as you feel the pleasure starting to build, he removes his hand to get some more gravy. This time he slips his two fingers right inside, reaching just far enough to tease your g-spot and make you want to squirm on your seat.

"No whimpering, baby," he reminds you. "Relax your facial expression. You look like you're having a wet dream."

Not a dream. This is reality. And you're fucking living for it.

You open your eyes and see a few tables around you have filled with unsuspecting guests and foodies come to try to new burger place. Jimin uses his other hand to take a bite of his food, casually chewing and mumbling about how good it is while his fingers coat your walls in hot gravy.

"I'm gonna cum," you whisper, turning your face into his neck.

"Not yet," he tells you, "the waiter is coming."

And yet he doesn't let up on his fingers at all. They reach deeper now, actively trying make you come undone while you actively try not to let the pleasure tip you over the edge.

"How is everything?" the waiter asks.

"Really good," Jimin answers. And that should be the end of it. The waiter should say okay great and then walk away so you can let yourself cum. But that wouldn't be any fun.

"Send my compliments to the chef," Jimin says, "oh, and can I ask a quick question?"

"Of course!"

Fuck this guy.

"What's in the recipe for your gravy? It's delicious!"

"Oh, yes our gravy is very popular," the waiter agrees, a cheeky smile on his face. Poor kid, he's so proud of his job and the food he's serving, not knowing how it's being used on you. "The secret is that while most gravy recipes use either chicken or beef stock, we use both to give it that deeper, richer flavor and color."

"Interesting," Jimin nods along, placing his thumb on your clit and rubbing in slow, rough circles.

"Fuck–" you can't help but start to squirm, legs closing around his wrist as your tummy aches with the need to let go.

You grip Jimin's sleeve and bite his shoulder.

"You'll have to excuse my girlfriend. She's got a bit of a tummy ache."

"Oh no, is her food okay?" the waiter asks with concern, noticing that you hadn't eaten barely any of it.

"No, it's not her food," Jimin assures him. "Our flight has been delayed several times and she sometimes gets tummy aches when she's stressed."

His fingers are swollen, they have to be. You swear they've gotten thicker since you started. Each time he thrusts them inside, he curls them into you, rubbing against that one spot and sending tremors through your body.

"I see," the waiter sighs sympathetically. "Well, I hope your flight can leave soon."

"Thanks. Have a good day." Finally, Jimin's last comment sends the waiter on his way.

He turns to you, lowering his voice with his lips by your ear. "Do you wanna cum for me now?"

You nod your head frantically, brow sweating and hand gripped around his bicep. "Please."

"Go ahead, you nasty thing. Cum all over my gravy soaked fingers."

You don't have to be told twice. Before he's even finished speaking, your orgasm snaps. Who the fuck cares who hears at this point. You let out a moan into the crook of his neck, waves of pleasure washing over you in euphoric perfection.

Jimin smiles and lovingly pets your hair. "That's my girl." His praise is short, but you appreciate it.

Once you're cleaned up you can actually finish your meal, and it is decently delicious. You wouldn't mind coming back here again for the food.

And the fact that they give generous extra servings of gravy.