My Venting Place

If it matters so much why are the people that are in the cash office talking shit about their coworkers, even when they are in earshot. Literally I went in cause I had to get a temp check two girls were talking and loudly said “I can’t stand her” both look at me and start whispering to eachother. Right I know what your thinking, hey they probably aren’t talking about you, try not to sweat it. Riiight, when you walk up and someone says that and looks you dead in the fucking eye, and starts whispering to another person, what else am I supposed to think. And I can’t report it cause I can’t even prove it was about me. I’ve been through that shit when I was a kid at my youth group, I was the only one that was homeschooled, and it truly felt like I was an outcast, hardly anyone talked to me. But with my homeschool group I had friends, and wasn’t treated like that. But I’m getting off the topic. I don’t need to deal with that shit again, I’ve already dealt with it. I don’t need it at the workplace. Really and truly the “clicks” thing ended when you graduated. But you still live by them, sorry I don’t fit in, sorry I’m not up to your standards, I’m just myself and lately I’ve been more and more quiet. I have a very small group of friends and it might stay like that.

we cant yawn, manager thinks its casue we are tired of our job and lazy. and yawning will make the customer think that..... uuum WERE NOT FUCKING ROBOTS. honestly its a dumb analogy. ive seen a cashier or a worker yawn, i dont think that they are tired and dont wanna work, i think simply maybe they are having a long day and they are drained but no tired of their job and dont wanna work. and yes they are tired but not for the reasons you think, maybe they have a kid or a pet that was sick and they were up with them all night. 

Walmart is no longer 24 hours and closes at 10, we all have a separate drawer of face masks of different kinds, schools are either limiting their capacity or they are closed al together and we have to homeschool our children. Just like way back when, around the 1800’s then school was limited. You have to make an appointment to go to the bank, not sure what it was like back then, but who knows could have been the same process. Even with social distancing it feels like we’re progressing backwards further and further, cause some people are not taking precautions. Something about a “medical condition” that makes them not wear a mask. Which I guess is fine but we have a right to refuse service, or so they say. Where I work we just have to “let them go” so we can’t even practice our rights to refuse service. In a way it’s the same with the masks. Workers have to wear a mask to go to work, but customers don’t have to. Even if the worker follows exemptions. We get yelled at for taking down our masks for a quick second to breath. All in all I hope things get better and things slowly get back to where they were. Sorry if thi doesn’t make much sense it’s kinda all over the place and my mind goes faster then I can type it out.

So fucking tired of being treated like garbage at a job I’ve been at for 7-8 years. Tired of not getting the fair chance cause I’m not “the favorite”. Tired of being trained in a department where they take me out saying “I’m not communicating” or “I’m missing stuff” IF IM MISSING SHIT FUCKING TELL ME! Or in fact fucking listen to me when I say when my availability changes. Really fucking tired of not being able to do anything else but be a cashier, or do something else, and I get fucking intarigated on as if I can handle it or not. NEWS FLASH, IF THE CASHIER THAT HAS BEEN WITH THE COMPANT WITH NO FUCKING EXPERIANCE CAN DO IT, I think I can fucking handle it. Oh wait she’s your neighbor, oh I see how it is. Fucking tired of not getting a real reason why I can’t be moved to mornings instead of anytime. But don’t fucking call me and ask why, if it’s any of your goddamn buisness. Fucking tired of people pitching a fit on wearing a mask, but get sent home if you don’t have on, or your made to wear one or you can’t work. Fucking tired of having to enforce a limit on stuff but,the manager turns around and lets them have it. WHATS THE FUCKING POINT OF A FUCKING LIMIT YOU FUCKTARDS!? I’m fucking tired of the manager not having my fucking back when something happens, but I’m the rude one and get in trouble. And while the fucktard is telling me to apologize he’s fucking standing there letting the customer sit and throw shit at me, with a fucking smirk on your face!!! but the girls in the office are rude as fuck and talk to everyone like they don’t know anything. I’m so fucking tired of it, so fucking tired of being ask “do you even wanna be here” NO I FUCKING DONT BUT I CANT GET ANOTHER FUCKING JOB! Cause of the bull shit going on. I’m tired of being 27 and looked down on cause I still live at home cause I can’t make a living wage. I’m fucking tired of it! Tired of being fucking walked on. Tired of getting in trouble for shit that was not my fault. I’m just tired of it, hopping really hopping I get out of that fucking hell hole but I feel like I can’t get out, I feel trapped and stuck and I can’t get out. Am I really doomed to work a fucking deadend job that refuses to let me go up or revive a fucking raise. I even fear that the managers are telling other jobs I’m not worth hurting cause I’m “lazy” even though he has said WITH A WITNESS, that “if I wanna be lazy I should go to Walmart or Kroger” all cause I handed someone so thing to put on their stuff. Bad enough they don’t believe a fucking word I say on my reasonings. Cause I’m “making excuses”... I’m just tired of it, I know I’m not the only one out there I know there’s someone out there that’s getting the same bullshit but....right now I feel really alone and feel like there’s no one to talk about it, or have some outlet maybe my outlet can be here. Sure why not to my knowledge my coworkers arnt on here so I should be safe. Please tell me I’m not the only one. Please I need some kinda of encouragement, something to know that I’m going to get out of there.

Just another day in paradise.

Maybe I’m wasteing my time saying all this. But getting it out helps. Don’t know if anyone is going to really read this. But it’s out there. I’ve felt like this for a while. I’m trying to make it, trying to hang in there. But honestly I’m terrified that being in this living hell now it’s going to effect me, effect me on relationships, effect me on if I have children one day, am I going to be a monster? Am I going to end up with a monster like my mom?

Human!! I need assistance