Wish I Was Athletic

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

I JUST REALIZED I HAVE AN ENTIRE TUBE OF PRINGLES OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

something just happened to half of it

Cosmic horror story about the protagonist being driven mad by having forbidden knowledge seared into their mind in which it gradually becomes clear that the protagonist is a housecat and the terrible gnosis that renders even their most familiar intimacies alien to them is the ability to do first grade math.

They have difficulty functioning in their daily life because they're constantly seeing maddening patterns beyond mundane perception, but those patterns are merely the product of being able to count higher than three. All forgetting to eat as they obsessively count the pieces of dry kibble in their bowl.

I altered time big style but I don't think it changed anything so we should be all good

I do think "literally zero evidence indicates that gatekeeping medical transition does anything to prevent regret, but the harm done by gatekeeping is extensively documented" is a much stronger argument than "regret isn't real" cause there's always going to be some anecdote that puts you in a weak-looking rhetorical position for the latter, but the former is pretty unassailable.

"i'm doing this for my wife and kids" justifications are so so so fucking funny like even ignoring the patriarchal arrogance the naked desperation to have an excuse to commit acts of heinous violence and the implications of the family unit as property to be defended and butchered like livestock it's like. if you want a hole to die in so badly grab a shovel and go outside. why are you digging the fucking trenches in our living room man.