About me:

My given name is Craig, don’t know my actual name. Nicknames or other given names are welcome and encouraged.

I'm an adult, 20. Minors may interact, but I'd prefer adults only to dm! Same goes for Instagram and Discord, both under the name "lycanfile", you're welcome to add me!

He/him in the way you’d address an unknown dog. Or it/its and the (lycan, wolf, beast, etc) pronouns work too.

The date system I use is from The Elder Scrolls. Visit this if you want to learn it. (Link to a fandom Wikipedia page.)

Keep in mind this is a personal account, for me. While I do post tips for others sometimes, my entries are for me, and for logging my own experiences. Other can interact and follow along, of course, but at the end of the day this is basically a digital notebook or diary.

I’ve either had a delusional episode or physically shifted. This was give or take four years ago now, but I still recall most of it.

It was when I was first formed as an alter. I’d dragged my new friend to the woods for the full moon. I remember the transformation being uncomfortable, but not particularly painful. I was shaking and twitching, stumbling through the very small area of trees. Growling and grunting uncontrollably.

I think I did see the changes. I usually don’t, unless only in my mind’s eye. My friend was walking ahead of me and I don’t think he looked back. That being said, I can’t say if my changes were physical or just my mind playing tricks on me in the dark.

I also remember seeing myself in third person at one point, fully shifted. Which is strange, because usually I only see memories in third person. This was in real time. That leads me to believe it was more so a delusion.

But I can’t say for sure. I’ve never had another experience like it, either, no matter how hard I’ve tried.

The signs could point either way, honestly. Third person view points towards delusion, but some physical shifters have reported their shifts not being painful.

~

Let me end this by saying that I don’t believe all physical shifter are scammers trying to sell you shifting information. Nor do I believe that they’re all mentally unwell. Do well to remember that physical identifying alterhumans and supernaturals paved the way for modern alterhumanity.

If you’re going to call me brainwashed or something for considering a physical shift as a possibility, please don’t waste your time.

I also don’t believe clinical zoanthropes are dangerous as a whole. Obviously there’s zoanthropes that haven’t gotten help if they need it, and thus are unwell mentally, but to say a whole group is “dangerous” just because of a disorder is sanist. If you believe all zoanthropes are a threat or that they should be excluded from alterhumanity or nonhumanity, stay off my page.

~

I will be bringing this up to my therapist. I currently don’t have a psychiatrist/psychologist, as mine left the practice I go to, but once I find another and feel safe enough to do so, I’ll tell them, too. Obviously I don’t want to meet them and lead with that, before I know I won’t be immediately thrown into testing or a mental facility.

“Species amplification” because I don’t consider myself transspecies. I’ve been a werewolf, I’m just making it more visible, and trying to adopt a more stereotypical werewolf lifestyle.

Will update as things are completed, or when I inevitably add on to the lists.

Edit 4/1: Gear can be just as much as a transition goal as body mods or social transitioning. Just commission artists and makers instead of buying from corporations.

X - Incomplete

✓ - Complete

O - Partially complete

? - Unsure if I’ll ever do.

I haven’t interacted with the community on there, though, so I don’t know how accepting it is of physical nonhumans.

Also, I dunno what I’d post that would be in picture format. The only pictures I take are of dogs at work lol. I could make little graphics and use the captions for writing? Perchance.

Scent Talk

Hey all, I once again took a small headspace vacation, and this time I came back to the body having covid.

As I slowly recover my senses, I wanted to talk about how not having them for a few days affected me. Specifically scent, because all I have to say about having no taste is that it’s weird and that I’m craving a steak.

Scent is really big for bio-wolves. The olfactory center is the part of the brain that processes smells, and wolves’ olfactory centers are the size of a human’s fist, whereas humans’ olfactory centers are the size of a pea. Wolves can smell the gender, health, and mood of an individual.

Obviously, I cannot do this, but scent is still important to me. My sense of smell tells me more basic, but still important things. It tells me whose belongings are whose, it tells me when there’s dog shit that has to be cleaned at work, and it tells me about the person the scent belongs to.

You can tell a lot by someone’s scent. Is it natural? Does it smell like home or is it unfamiliar? Have they used perfume or cologne? If so, what do the notes tell you about them? Is it sweet? Spicy? Woodsy? Do they have a signature scent they put off or wear, or do they take on the scent of what’s around them?

I personally enjoy both natural scents, and synthetic. Someone’s natural scent is them at their purest form. Someone’s choice of fragrance is how they like to see themself and how they want others to see them.

For example, I have a natural smell that is quite full and hearty, and is consisted of my home and my surroundings. (Not unwashed, dirty scent, rather clean and freshly washed scent.) But I like to put on spicy and woodsy smelling deodorant and cologne when I can.

What can this tell you about me? Well, my natural scent is a collection of my surroundings, things I’ve picked up from my home. And my synthetic scent tells you I want to be seen as rugged and outdoorsy. It compliments my lycanthropic nature, I think. Maybe a bit too stereotypically haha.

(This is a big reason why I love the miscecanis community, I love people picking out their scents and seeing what that says about their personality. I can imagine the specific scents of the users as I look at their posts.)

I feel like smell is an overlooked sense in the alterhuman community. Creatures always talk about taste and wanting to eat carcasses, and sight and wanting night vision. I just want to sniff everything and have my nose tell me if you’re healthy or not.

Loredas, 7th of Sun’s Dusk, 2E 24

TW for forced domestication through physical means.

New werewolf themed EP from Blitzkid!

Fredas, 29th of Sun’s Dusk, 2E 24

This job has made me so dysphoric because I can’t always understand the dogs’ body language and aggression signals. I’m always on high alert, are they snarling because they’re vocal players, or are they about to snap?

Humans are even worse, because they can hide their emotions. I can’t. My face makes expressions all on its own. I try to stop it, but my face contorts anyway. Whether it’s fear or annoyance, it will show in my mannerisms, my face, and my voice.

Neither human nor canine body language makes sense to me, probably because I’m some odd third thing. A mix of both, with my species’ own body language and mannerisms.

Not to mention the fact I can’t respond to the dogs in their language. I can’t growl to show displeasure when one jumps on me. I can’t howl to get their attention. I can’t bare my teeth when I step in between them to stop a fight. For obvious reasons, like I’d look weird and it could rile them up.

Sundas, 24th of Sun's Dusk, 2E 24

I don't believe I've talked about why I'm a physical nonhuman before. If I haven't I meant to, probably before my vacation. And if I did, there's more to say now anyway.

I know full well that this could possibly be a delusion, as the transformation part has been compared to clinical lycanthropy by my therapist in the past. (I haven't mentioned the brain part yet.) As such, I'll be tagging with #unreality.

Keep in mind I am not diagnosed with any delusion-based disorders, and that you cannot diagnose me unless you are my psychiatrist.

However, I have seen similar experiences talked about in clinical zoanthropic spaces. If you are a zoanthrope and see this as unhealthy or as warning signs, please let me know and I'll bring it up with my medical professionals ASAP.