lauren

david dobrik (no longer writing for):

1. stressed

2. stay

3. savior - part one - part two

4. bittersweet kisses

5. best friend’s best friend

6. surprise

7. innocent giggles

8. intertwined

9. high

10. hickeys

11. vegas, baby

12. punked

13. moving

14. picnic

15. die from a broken heart

16. belonging

grayson dolan (no longer writing for):

1. in love - part one - part two

shawn mendes

1. my forever

2. in wonder: nervous

tom holland

1. gross

dreamwastaken

1. hate

2. call it what you want

3. the way i loved you

4. dress

5. enchanted

6. i know places

sapnap

1. the best present

2. more then

people i will be writing for:

you stand with your hand on my waistline it's a scene and we're out here in plain sight i can hear them whisper as we pass by it's a bad sign, bad sign

dream's hand was placed firmly on y/n's waist, smiling at the cameras as they stood on the red carpet. it had been several months since the night y/n had followed him back on instagram and sent the first dm. so many months that it had been almost a year and a half, and they had been official for more than a year of that, but they had been together in all ways that mattered since that dm.

y/n watched as the paparazzi that stood behind the metal gates scream their names. it had been their first outing as a couple, one that shocked everyone. no one had even been suspicious that the two knew each other an any other way than a follow on instagram.

she had always been used to the whispered words that would follow her as she passed. it came with her job, but she was already regretting the decision to ask her handsome boyfriend to her very successful movie premiere. she had never wanted those whispers of doubt be followed into her relationship, and it didn't help that he had his own whispers that followed him too.

and as she stood there with lights flashing, she couldn't help but let those doubts plague her mind, wondering what the journalists would write tomorrow

something happens when everybody finds out see the vultures circling, dark clouds love's a fragile little flame it could burn out, it could burn out

this had happened before, dating in the public had never worked out in her favor. everyone finds out and then their relationship isn't their own, with vultures circling over their heads, dark clouds high above.

"you okay?" dream asked, leaning down to talk into her ear, making sure she is the only one to hear his words, faking a kiss to her cheek. with a shake of her head, dream guided them forward. luckily they were at the end of the carpet and dream was able to guide her out of the lights.

'cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns they are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run

baby, i know places we won't be found and they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'cause i, i, i, i know places we can hide i know places

"baby?" dream asked, moving his hands from where they had been resting on her waist to rest them on her cheeks, rubbing circles on her cheeks, "what's wrong?"

"i just..." her eyes move away from his, loosing contact.

"you can tell may anything, you know that."

"what if this was a mistake?" despite the hands on her face, y/n looked down, not able to look him in his beautiful green eyes, afraid to see the disappointment set in them.

"us?"

"no! no, no..." finally looking up, she continued, "us going public, telling everyone."

"who cares what they say?"

"they're gonna put us in boxes, tell us that we aren't gonna make it. make rumors, whisper about us like we aren't there."

"baby, i know places." when dream watches the confused look on her face, he continued, "i know places we can hide. we can leave right now and never look back, i would go anywhere with you. i'm in love with you and i don't care what anyone has to say about that it doesn't matter."

lights flash and we'll run for the fences let them say what they want, we won't hear it loose lips sink ships all the damn time not this time

just grab my hand and don't ever drop it my love they are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run

"let them say what they want, it doesn't matter." he promised, bringing her closer, hugging her tight.

"their rumors ruin relationships all the time. its happened to me before." she tried, but she buried her head in its home in his neck.

there i was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles same old tired, lonely place walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when i saw your face all i can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

y/n had been standing in the corner of the room that held the afterparty for some award show she hadn't bothered to remembered the name of. she had been tired, ready for a break and she knew that just a couple more parties like this she would be able to take a break in between this press tour and the filming of her next movie.

her hand rubbed circles over the itchy fabric that she knew cost more than the average house; looking down at her shoes, she wished that she could take them off and just go home. she was lonely, but at least when she got to the comfort of her home, she had her cat, her best friend she'd admit.

when she looked up, any thought of going home to her cat or the way the itchy fabric that had been bugging her since she put it on was eased to the back of her mind, long forgotten. everyone else in the room vanished with just one look at the man across the room and she no longer cared what the prying eyes thought.

he had grown out dark blonde locks and the way he smiled at his friends made her heart beat hard in her chest just from one look. and when they made eye contact? it was game over.

your eyes whispered, "have we met?" 'cross the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me the playful conversation starts counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy

and it was enchanting to meet you all i can say is, i was enchanted to meet you

his smile seemed to grow larger when he had glanced at her and all y/n knew was that she wanted to stare at his face for the rest of her life, completely forgetting everything she had ever known.

when he made his way over, his eyes seemed to make the connection of who she was, but when he was finally stood in front of her, he had simply introduced himself, making it seem like they weren't at an a list award show after party, just a simple meeting.

"i'm dream," he had grinned, holding out his hand for her to shake.

"y/n." both grins increased and by the end of the night, both of their jaws would hurt from the sustained smile and laughter that would occur. neither would complain though.

this night is sparkling, don't you let it go i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home i'll spend forever wondering if you knew i was enchanted to meet you

for the months to come, y/n would remember the fairytale like night, holding onto it for dear life as her own started up again, busy as ever. she couldn't help but wonder if dream had held the night in the same regards. she wasn't even embarrassed by the blush that followed her home- in fact she missed the warmth that dream had unintentionally spread across her face, hoping that she would get the chance to feel it again.

the lingering question kept me up 2 am, who do you love? i wonder 'til i'm wide awake and now i'm pacing back and forth wishing you were at my door i'd open up and you would say, "hey"

it was enchanting to meet you all I know is, i was enchanted to meet you

nights after when she met dream, she had a lot of trouble sleeping with that dreaded question, 'who does he love?'

she had no doubt that there was someone in his life... when he looked the way he did, charmed her like he did, made her feel as he did... it just wasn't possible for his heart not to be taken.

she had paced back and forth in her hotel room, where she would spend the next several months shooting her film, before she decided to just do it.

when she took out her phone, she was pleased to find the 'follow back' button on dream's profile when searching his name. maybe he had been thinking the same things she had- wondering the same things she had.

this is me praying that this was the very first page not where the story line ends my thoughts will echo your name, until i see you again these are the words i held back, as i was leaving too soon i was enchanted to meet you please don't be in love with someone else please don't have somebody waiting on you

she didn't want their story to end as quick as it has started and she knew that she wasn't going to be able to stop thinking about him.

'i haven't been able to stop thinking the night we met,' she had sent. it was quite late where she was and she hadn't been sure where dream lived, but she definitely hadn't been expecting the quick response.

'you did win quite a lot of those awards they handed out ;)' and the giggle that escaped her mouth was quickly covered with the back of her hand.

our secret moments in a crowded room they've got no idea about me and you there is an indentation in the shape of you made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

y/n wondered how her chat hadn't caught on yet. countless streams where dream shamelessly flirted with her, almost never not in call with her, teasing from their friends... all things that should have given the truth away, but y/n realized that they had acted this way for a lot longer than they had been together. inseparable since the day they first met.

even before the pair had met in real life, or even before dream showed her his face, he had left a mark on her, like the lines left on her skin from a goodnights rest, but forever there and felt, permanent on her heart like a tattoo.

all of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)

before they finally admitted their feelings (with lots of encouragement from sapnap and george), discord calls were filled with silence, tension building from late night calls where they eventually gave into the sleep they so desperately needed, and failed the desire to stay awake in hopes the other would finally say those words the other had been desperate to hear.

y/n remembered her hands shaking when they were alone in call together on more than one occasion. she was so scared what would happen if she were to blurt out those three words that seemed to live on the tip of her tongue whenever she was in the presence of her best friend.

say my name and everything just stops i don't want you like a best friend

"y/n?" he had said, in a tone that was unfamiliar to anything she had heard escape his mouth before. she had been so used to what twitter called his 'leo energy,' full of confidences and hints of cockiness, that when his tone had shifted to something so vulnerable and delicate, everything seemed to stop. she was no longer aware of the hours of sleep she was missing to stay in call, she was no longer thinking of the hate she received for simply breathing the same air as twitter's beloved dream team, she was no longer stressed about the next thing on her to-do list. she was completely entranced by dream's voice.

so when he confessed his feelings for her, she simply replied, "i don't want you like a best friend," and that would be coined at the start of a very happy relationship.

only bought this dress so you could take it off carve your name into my bedpost 'cause i don't want you like a best friend

she would proudly admit to only buying the nice dress in hopes that it would entice dream into taking it off of her after one of their dates. the dress was nice, but she wondered if dream would agree that it simply would look better pooled on the floor next to her bed.

and she didn't care about the girls before her and especially not the partners before him, she just knew that she wanted to spend forever with him, in his sweet embrace. no more notches to be added, his name simply cared into the wood of her headboard, and tattooed on her heart.

inescapable, i'm not even gonna try and if i get burned, at least we were electrified

she had always known, she guessed, that the relationship was meant to happen. meeting online and quickly falling for his sweet words and warm personality that she only seemed to receive, it had all felt inevitable.

and she knew that even if she got hurt along the way, nothing was better than the friendship turned relationship she shared with dream, and maybe she also knew that there would never be able to make her feel and blush the way the blonde boy did.

i'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about

a couple of months into their relationship, she had been staying with dream, and decided to get wine drunk in the bath. nothing was ever more stressful than dealing with constant hate online, especially when being online was your job. that day, her twitter mentions turned into a war zone after finding out that she had been staying with dream and sapnap, she couldn't help but be glad that they didn't know about her relationship with dream so that she could avoid all the comments relating to that.

she had been barely tipsy when dream came in, admiring the way she looked; bubbles up to her chin, hair pulled away from the water, and a full glass of wine spilling into the water with her.

silently, he also observed the tenseness of her shoulders and the frown on her face, "they don't know anything, you know?" he had said as he knelt by the tub next to her, leaning an elbow on the edge and using the tips of his fingers of his free hand to move a piece of hair away from her eyes, and rub some sort of relief to the furrow of her brow.

her eyes opened and she paused with a questioning expression, so he continued, "about you, about us... anything really. they don't know how happy you make me, and have made me since the minute i met you. they don't know how you always know exactly what to say to bring me back from the cliff i am about to jump off of when all i want to do is rant about how much they piss me off... they don't know how much i... love you."

it had been the first time he had said it in a form that wasn't obviously platonic (except that one time he had said it when ending a call and then apologized because he didn't mean it... well he didn't mean to say it at least, looking back now, he knows he meant it, and he was sure that he would forever mean it), "you love me?" she asked, so softly, and tears welled in her eyes, everything just piling up from the day, the confession seemed to bring so much relief to her, she couldn’t help her body’s reaction.

"please don't cry," he pouted, moving his hand to her cheek, where his thumb rubbed smooth circles.

"i love you too," the pressure of keeping such a small sentence a secret left her, and dream watched as the tension in her shoulders visually deflated. he couldn't help but grin and lean across the side of the tub to kiss her, not caring about the water that was bound to get on him. she wasn't the only one feeling drunk anymore.

flashback when you met me your buzzcut and my hair bleached even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

the day they had met had been engraved into both of their brains, dream remembered how she had looked when he looked on her stream. she had still been a small streamer, he himself barely had a name in the content world either, and her camera was grainy, and dream knew how much she hated the way she had her hair cut at that time, but dream thought she looked beautiful despite it all. but dream had later considered that it wasn't her looks at all that made he so beautiful but the way that she had made him feel so warm on the inside and it was actually her personality that made her so attractive.

flashback to my mistakes my rebounds, my earthquakes even in my worst lies, you saw the truth of me

y/n could recall the first time she knew that she had some sort of more than friend feelings for dream. it had been shortly after they’d met, an ex had torn up her heart and while she had tried to mend the pieces with hookups, dream was always one call away, no matter what.

because even when she was lying to the internet and even him about her whereabouts, embarrassed about how she had felt so insecure, he already knew without the need for her to explain.

she knew she felt something more when she noticed that while she was out ripping her heart into smaller pieces, leaving a trail of tiny pieces behind her, he was always one step behind her, picking up the broken pieces and storing them for safe keeping.

and i woke up just in time now i wake up by your side my one and only, my lifeline

when she realized the way she felt, it felt like she was finally waking up after a long nightmare, and turning to her lover in the bed next to her. and even though he wasn't actually right next to her when she woke up every morning, nor was he her lover yet, it all still felt the same.

when they got together, it felt like he was pulling her up from underneath the water where she was about to drown. like he was breathing fresh air into her lungs. and she could never be more thankful for the mornings where she felt the feeling of waking up next to someone she loved when she got the chance.

he is sensible and so incredible and all my single friends are jealous he says everything i need to hear and it's like i couldn't ask for anything better he opens up my door and i get into his car and he says, "you look beautiful tonight" and i feel perfectly fine

she knew how wrong it was.

all of her single friends wished that they had met him first. he was just that perfect. he said everything that she wanted him to, they never fought, and they had everything in common.

but she knew that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with him.

date nights came with a compliment as he opened her door, but she didn't feel anything. they had been dating for a couple months now, and she felt absolutely nothing.

she was sure that something was wrong with her. here was a perfectly fine boy who did everything right, but she realized, he wasn't and could never compare to him.

but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and it's 2:00 a.m. and i'm cursing your name so in love that you act insane and that's the way i loved you breakin' down and coming undone it's a roller coaster kinda rush and i never knew i could feel that much and that's the way i loved you

it had been two in the morning, just getting home from a date, when she realized. looking in the mirror, realizing the horrible, aching hole that dream had left in her chest, would never be able to be filled. no matter how amazing future partners would be, they would never fill his shoes.

she missed all of it. even the screaming and crying, because that always was followed by kisses and heartfelt apologies, even if it was pouring down rain. she missed everything about him- the feel of his lips on hers, the way he knew her inside and out, always able to tell her mood from one simple look, and always having the right thing to say on the tip of his tongue.

she was scared that she would never feel the rollercoaster rush of emotions that she felt from the minute she met dream. butterflies did flips in her stomach, and he made her feel something she never felt like that before. love.

He respects my space and never makes me wait And he calls exactly when he says he will He's close to my mother, talks business with my father He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable

as she looked in the mirror, she couldn't figure out why she couldn't just feel that love with him. he never pushed her when she asked for space. but... dream always pulled her closer, knowing she didn't actually want space, she just didn't want to fight anymore.

he always calls exactly when he says he will. sweet morning texts, and long calls at night, even if they spent most of it in silence. dream's schedule didn't allow him the same abilities. but, y/n thought, he was never not a phone call away, and always texting when he woke up and before he fell asleep.

the new boy already got along with her parents, though dream had no issue with that, but y/n can tell that her parent's really like him, just wanting their daughter to be happy. hoping that this is the one. tired of seeing her so sad.

but she doesn't want to be comfortable like she is now.

he can't see the smile i'm faking and my heart's not breaking 'cause i'm not feeling anything at all and you were wild and crazy just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated got away by some mistake and now

she knows she isn't being fair. he has no idea how many smiles she's faked, just to make him happy. just to not alarm him that she isn't feeling the same towards him.

worst of all she can't even feel bad. she knows it will come to an end and she will be okay.

nothing will compare to the way that dream made her feel. dream was completely different, more complicated. dream made life have a glow to it, and now, life seemed dull.

it had been two years since he met y/n. dream remembered being at maybe his lowest point in his life when she walked in, shining bright in all of his dark corners. it hadn't mattered anymore that the hate on the internet had gotten so bad that he couldn't stream anymore and it felt like a death sentence to (metaphorically, of course) show his face on the internet.

when he finally told her everything that was happening on the internet, she hadn't cared about what they were saying, just doing her best to comfort him, making sure he knew whatever they had to say wasn't true.

she had preferred to get to know him in her own time, not learning about what his fans thought they knew on the internet, not even taking a second glance at the long twitter threads slandering his name.

it was six months after they met that he knew that he would never be able to picture himself with someone else. he loved everything about her, even, maybe even especially, the things she hated about herself, he loved that she rarely listened to anything other than taylor swift, except when he put out music, then those songs were on for weeks. he loved how she accepted him for who he was and not what he was on the internet. he loved that he could tell that she loved him too, loved him so well; even when he tried to push her away, scared that the internet would find out about her and pick her apart like they had done with himself, she stayed in arms reach. always ready to listen when he needed to talk, making sure he ate and drank water. the simple things always seemed to have a lasting affect on him.

he remembered hearing her sing 'call it what you want' in the car once. how she screamed the lyrics 'i want to wear his initial on chain round my neck, not because he owns me, but because he really knows me," at the top of her lungs with a grin taking up half of her face, and he vowed in that moment that he would do anything for her to keep that smile on her face all the time, and the next thing he knew he was looking at jewelry with the familiar 'c' initial on the chain.

it didn't take long for him to find what he considered to be the perfect necklace, but the next step had been figuring out the best way to present it to her.

he had decided to wait until their anniversary, and he thought that the moment would present itself.

they had been sitting in the living room, alone with sapnap away, with his arm slung over her shoulder, when she started humming as she scrolled through instagram. "i'm glad sapnap is having fun," she had thought out loud, taking a pause and looking up at him, "i wish you could have gone." dream observed her pout painting her face and the genuine sad tone that laced her words, all because he hadn't been able to go to the uk with his friends.

"if i could have, we wouldn't be spending our anniversary together." dream smiled down at her, giving her shoulder a teasing squeeze.

"yeah, meet your best friend of ten years or spend your two year anniversary with your girlfriend cuddling... hard decision there, baby."

"you're just as important to me as sapnap and george, you know that," dream said with a roll of his eyes, and the necklace in pocket seemed to weigh ten pounds when he was reminded by it, "and you also know that i wouldn't want to be anywhere but here with you right now."

"yeah, yeah..." and with the look of adoration gracing her eyes, that he was all too familiar with, he decided to just rip off the band-aid.

"i got you something." reaching into his pocket, she placed her hand over his.

"no, we said no gifts."

"no, you said no gifts." he corrected with a grin, now ignoring the pressure of her hand over his, and revealing the necklace.

when she finally saw the 'c' pendant, she couldn't help but grin, "are you t as in troy-ing me?"

dream couldn't help the loud wheeze that escaped his throat, but he shook his head, "no... here, let me put it on?" when she nodded and turned her around, he continued, "i'm call it what you want-ing you." and with the chain clasped and a gentle kiss placed on her neck, where her hair had been pulled away, she spun around.

"really?" she grinned, placing her hands on his face.

"really." he nodded and easily accepted the kiss he supplied.

"you better not ruin that song for me." she warned, but dream noted the smile that hadn't left her face, despite her serious tone.

sapnap had thought she looked beautiful, but she wasn't his. if tonight proved anything, it was proving that. but she looked so happy and he didn't have it in him to ruin that, no matter how much it hurt to hear about some guy. some guy he knew didn't deserve her, but maybe that was selfish of him. he wasn't sure he deserved her either, but he knew that he would take care of her, and do anything in order to insure her happiness. so thats why he let her go, though now, he really regretted that choice.

she had left dream and sapnap's house around 6:30p in order to get to her 7p date on time. and it was an hour later when sapnap's screen lit up with a picture of her smiling face.

it took him a moment of admiring the picture he had seen a million times, before his brows furrowed and he realized something was wrong. he pushed the green answer button hastily before all but smacking himself with the phone, "what's wrong? are you okay?"

he was first met with silence, and he almost let out a breath of relief, it was just a misdial, but then he heard her draw in a sharp breath, "sapnap?" she asked, sounding more vulnerable than he had ever heard her before.

"y/n, what happened? are you okay?" she could tell the call had worried him out from the way he talked hastily into the phone. the familiar warm feeling in her chest she felt when he was around appeared, and she realized that he never made her feel unloved.

"yeah, yeah.. yes." she had to reassure, feeling guilty for the burden she felt she was placing on him, "just... can i come over?"

"anytime, you know that." he nodded even though she couldn't see him. sapnap sat up in his bed and glanced around the room, it was messy, but nothing he knew she wasn't used to, so he padded down the stairs, hoping dream would be in his office or his room already (and thankfully he was; sapnap wasn't sure y/n would want to see his roommate when she was obviously distraught).

he went into the kitchen and prepared a small snack since he knew she wouldn't have had time to eat dinner since she had left, and poured a glass of her favorite drink, both being things kept in the boys' house just for the y/h/c girl.

he took them up the stairs, placing them on his nightstand, and returned downstairs, placing himself in the room closest to the front door and just waited for his favorite person.

he wasn't waiting long by the time he had everything prepared for her arrival, but it seemed like a million years waiting, worried something was seriously wrong, even if she had reassured him she was okay.

she tumbled through the door when she got there, her shoes already halfway off by the time sapnap reached her. arms pulling her face to his chest, and his hands finding the back of her head and on her waist, keeping her in place.

"go upstairs?" he murmured with his lips brushing against her hair and she simply nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead the way. "what happened? do you want to talk about it?"

she shook her her head, and finally looked up, letting her best friend see her face. he wasn't expecting the stained mascara coating her under eyes, obviously she had tried to wipe it off before she came. "he just didn't show up."

sapnap's feet were moving by themselves before his brain could stop them. his hands found her face, making sure she would look at him, making sure she knew that he meant every word he was about to say. "he doesn't deserve you. i mean it. before you left here, i was kicking myself because i would do anything to make you happy, i love you so much, and i just want you to be happy. you deserve the god damn world, and i don't want this to change how you view yourself, okay? you are the most beautiful, smart, and kindest person i have ever met. you light up every fucking room you walk into and don't let some douchebag dim that light okay?" and y/n was stunned, she looked at him with wide eyes, her mouth slightly agape, she couldn't believe her ears.

noticing her shock, he removes his hands, thinking he'd cross any lines they'd once put down, and started to take a step back, "uhh... i made you something to-"

"you love me?" she asked, promptly cutting off his words, and grabbing his hands, not letting him go any further away.

"oh.. um... yeah, if that's okay?" he had never felt more unsure of himself, he felt like he had just imploded their friendship and he couldn't be more terrified as he tried to read her expression.