Always do what you are afraid of

I still wish you the best. I still hope you can find someone to dance with you to a Disney song at your wedding, and someone who likes the same college football team as you so you can raise your children in a unified household. I still hope you land your dream job and I still think your mother is a saint. I hope you’re happy wherever you are and I hope that you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted. And I hope you found someone who was a better fit for you and the direction your life was going than I was.

Whether it was a boy, a fight, or just plain old growing apart, I am sorry if you still harbor any ill will towards me. I have none for you, and I am sorry for whatever it is that causes you to still hold any towards me. We grew together, and then we grew apart, it happens, it’s sad, but it’s a part of life. You helped me continue on in the race, but you were never intended to help me across the finish line. I’m not mad, I don’t blame you, I just get a little sad when I’m full of nostalgia and can’t reach out to you and say “remember that time when..”

Everyone we meet is either supposed to serve as a lifelong bond or a lesson, and you were the latter. The lesson could have been a good one, or it could have been a heartbreaking one, but either way thank you. There is nobody else I would want to be a lesson than someone I created as many memories with. You are a lesson that I’ll never forget, just like our memories will be ones that I tell my children one day. You haven’t been erased just because you’re no longer in my life.

Thank you for the valuable advice you gave me, for the time you spent with me, and for helping me discover who I was as a person. I’m sorry that the people we became weren’t compatible but I’m not sorry about the journey that brought us to this conclusion.

My mom still asks about you, because despite the possibility that we might have gotten in a nasty fight, I never told her the dirty details. I didn’t want to taint you in her eyes in the event that we find our way back to each other down the road. The door will always be open, you have seen me ugly laugh, and held me when I ugly cry, we have been through things that there is no going back from, and this is an undeniable fact that means you will always be welcome back into my life.

I secretly hold onto the hope that one day I’ll bump into you, all will be forgiven, and we can start being friends again. I’ve accepted the reality that this isn’t going to happen, but I never want you to think you would be insulted or belittled if you did reappear.

I look forward to following your progress through this crazy beautiful life via social media, and tidbits from mutual friends. I hope one day your kids hear stories about me, and can tell you and I had a bond that endured many adventures. I hope you tell them kind things about me and use us as a lesson that while some friends are forever, some aren’t and there is nothing wrong with that.

Just know I pray for your happiness, I wish nothing but good things for you, and I hope you found some other amazing best friends like I did.

Sincerely,