luxey

Dean Di Laurentis, who had never been her boyfriend, which was a legal technicality he clung to with the same lazy confidence he seemed to apply to everything else in his life.

Dean had been a mistake with good hair and a trust fund. A mistake with a grin. A mistake that had lasted a few times longer than it should have because he was pretty and shameless and very good at looking at a girl like he had personally invented bad decisions and would be thrilled to walk her through the beginner course.

But Dean wasn't a girlfriend kind of guy. Dean was Six Flags. You rode the ride, screamed once or twice, maybe bought the photo after, and then got off.

She knew that. She had known that then, technically.

Dean had a way of appearing in her life at the least dignified possible moments looking pleased with himself, and she had a way of refusing to let him be pleased without penalty.

Like the time she found him coming out of a women’s bathroom stall at Malone’s with a girl in a denim skirt. She had been washing her hands at the sink, glanced up in the mirror, taken in his flushed face, his rumpled shirt, the girl fixing her hair behind him, and said, “Hi, whore,” with the flat calm of someone greeting a neighbour at the mailbox.

Dean, because shame had never successfully attached itself to his nervous system, had only chuckled and leaned one shoulder against the stall door. “Hey.”

That was the whole thing. Mostly joking. Mostly old bruised pride dressed up in insults because that was easier than admitting he had maybe gotten under her skin for a minute and then left muddy footprints on his way back out.

Garrett wasn't supposed to be part of that. Garrett had happened after a party, which was already a bad sign because nothing good ever began at two in the morning in a hockey house kitchen with tequila and Dean singing the wrong words to a song everybody else knew. 

It had been loud and hot and stupid, the whole house sticky with beer and laughter and bodies pressed into doorways. She had ended up outside on the back steps because the kitchen had started spinning, and Garrett had come out five minutes later with two waters and an expression that suggested he was trying very hard not to ask whether she was going to puke on his sneakers.

He had sat down beside her instead.

Garrett had looked at her sideways when she laughed at one of his jokes, and something in his face had changed. Garrett’s face was a practiced thing, mostly grin and charm and captain-boy confidence, but this had slipped underneath it. A quiet little interest. A flicker. Like he had found something he wanted to pay attention to and was already annoyed about it.

Then, later, in the upstairs hallway, she had been trying to find the bathroom and he had been trying to find Logan, because Logan had stolen his phone to send a voice note to Coach that began with “hypothetically, if a man loved hockey but hated cardio,” and somehow Garrett’s hand had ended up on her waist. Warm through her shirt. Steadying her when someone shoved past in the hall.

“Careful,” he had said, close to her ear.

She had turned her head, too drunk to be clever and too annoyed by how good he smelled to be normal. “I’m always careful.”

Garrett’s eyes had dropped to her mouth for half a second, then lifted again with that awful amused heat. “Uh huh.”

The first kiss had been an accident. His room had been closer than the bathroom. His door had shut behind them. His mouth had been warm and confident and so immediately, horribly good that she had pulled back after ten seconds just to stare at him like that might make the situation less offensive.

Garrett had grinned down at her, lips a little swollen already, one hand still at her waist. “What?”

“You kiss like you know you’re good at it.”

He’d shrugged. “I am good at it.”

“That’s a disgusting thing to say.”

“Wasn’t really a denial, though.”

She had meant to hate that. Truly. She had tried. 

The first time they almost got caught, she was riding him with her hands braced on his chest and Garrett’s mouth at her throat, and the only thought in her head was a soft, stunned, repeated oh that seemed to have lost all connection to language.

His room was too warm despite the window cracked open behind the desk, the cold night air barely managing to move through the heat they had made under the sheets. The lamp was off. Some blue-white spill from the streetlight outside cut through the blinds in thin, broken lines over the wall and across Garrett’s shoulder. 

His chain had slipped sideways against his collarbone. His hair was a wreck from her fingers. His mouth was open against her neck, kissing up under her jaw with the kind of lazy, devastating precision that made her thighs shake around him before she could stop them.

“Garrett,” she breathed, and then immediately louder, because his hands had shifted to her hips and guided her down harder. “Oh my God.”

His hand flew up before the sound had fully escaped, palm covering her mouth, his other hand tightening at her waist. “Jesus, baby,” he said, voice low and rough and entirely too amused for a man currently participating in the same crime. “You trying to get me murdered?”

She made a muffled noise against his hand that was meant to be a curse and came out humiliatingly close to a whimper. Garrett’s grin flashed in the dark, teeth catching briefly, eyes bright and smug and so pleased with himself she nearly hated him. Nearly. 

It was hard to maintain moral outrage when his thumb was pressed lightly against her cheek and his hips were still moving, slow and deep and mean in the way only a man with a scoreboard in his soul could be mean.

“There we go,” he murmured, kissing the side of her jaw while his palm stayed over her mouth. “Can’t be announcing it to the whole house, right?”

She glared down at him, or tried to. It probably lost some effect when her eyes fluttered halfway shut because he lifted his hips again and hit exactly the wrong place, which was to say exactly the right one.

Garrett laughed under his breath, quiet and filthy with satisfaction. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

She bit the inside of his palm.

His brows shot up. “Oh, we’re biting now?”

She nodded against his hand with as much dignity as a girl could manage while naked on top of him and very actively losing a fight against her own volume.

“Cool,” he whispered. “Very healthy. Super mature.”

She would have laughed if she had any air left. Instead her body gave her away again, a soft, trapped sound catching under his palm as he sat up suddenly, changing the angle and dragging her with him until she was pressed chest-to-chest with him, knees bracketing his hips, his mouth at her ear.

“Shh,” he said, but the edge of laughter in it ruined the authority. 

He was enjoying this too much. Enjoying her like this, messy and desperate and trying very hard to be quiet because if anybody found out she was in Garrett Graham’s room, in Garrett Graham’s bed, after Dean Di Laurentis had spent the better part of the semester behaving like her eventual return to his mattress was a scheduling issue rather than a question, the whole house would become unbearable overnight.

Then the hallway floor creaked. Both of them froze. Him still inside her, both still overheated, still breathing too hard into the tiny space between them. Garrett’s hand stayed clamped gently over her mouth. Her fingers dug into his shoulders. His eyes lifted toward the door, and in the blue-dark she watched every cocky line in his face vanish into immediate, sharp focus.

Outside, Logan’s voice drifted close enough to curdle the air. “Yo– Dean. Is that who I think it is in there?”

Her stomach dropped so fast it was almost physical. Garrett’s eyes snapped back to hers.

For one suspended, insane second, they only stared at each other. She could feel his heartbeat hard against her chest. Could feel where they were still joined, which her body had the absolutely perverse audacity to notice in detail despite the fact that John Logan was currently holding a one-man investigation outside the door. Garrett’s hand loosened slightly over her mouth. Her lips parted against his palm. He held his finger up to his own lips, and she had nodded quickly.

He reached blindly toward the bedside table with one hand, the motion chaotic and deeply unathletic for a man who made a living looking graceful under pressure.

His fingers knocked something over. A bottle cap, maybe. His watch. A textbook hit the floor with a soft thud. She bit down on a laugh before it could get out, which was dangerous because laughter at that moment felt like shaking a soda bottle with the cap still on.

Garrett found his phone at last, thumb flying over the screen. For half a second there was nothing. Then the speaker on his dresser exploded to life with Cherry Pie so loud the whole room seemed to jump.

She slapped both hands over her own mouth now, eyes wide, shoulders shaking immediately with silent laughter. Garrett stared at the ceiling like he could not believe this was the solution his brain had selected and was, worse, proud of himself anyway.

In the hallway, Logan went silent. Then he burst out laughing. “Oh shit– sorry, G! Guess not!”

A second later Dean’s voice, farther away and deeply suspicious, called, “What?”

“Nothin’, man,” Logan said, still laughing. “Keep walking.”

Footsteps retreated. The music kept blaring. Garrett turned it down with the ferocious speed of a man who had made his point and no longer wanted Warrant narrating his sex life. The second the volume dropped, she folded forward into Garrett’s shoulder and started laughing for real, breathless and helpless, her whole body shaking against his.

Garrett’s arms closed around her automatically. Then he started laughing too, quiet and disbelieving into her hair. “Fuck.”

She lifted her head, face hot, eyes watering, and whispered, “Cherry Pie?”

“It was the first thing that came up.”

“You panic-played Cherry Pie?”

He huffed out a laugh. “It worked.”

“That’s not the same as being good.”

“It worked,” he repeated, grinning now, smugness returning by the inch because survival had restored him. His hands slid to her hips again, warm and possessive and much too confident. “And for the record, if Logan thinks you’re in Dean’s room right now, I might throw myself out the window.”

She pressed her lips together, trying and failing not to smile. “Jealous?”

Garrett’s eyes narrowed. “Careful.”

The word landed low in her stomach. Warm and bright and stupid. She leaned down and kissed him before he could see too much of it on her face, and he kissed her back still smiling, still breathing laughter into her mouth, both of them a little shaky now for a different reason.

“Too close,” she murmured against him.

“Yeah,” Garrett said, one hand coming up to the back of her neck, holding her there. “Maybe stop trying to wake the neighbours.”

“You’re the one playing stripper music at full volume.”

“Because you’re loud.”

“Because you’re annoying.”

His grin was all teeth in the dark. “Baby, just before? That wasn't an annoyed sound.”

She shoved at his chest, and he fell back on the mattress easily, gesturing for her to come closer with two fingers. The stupid warmth of it made her go quiet in a way that was much more dangerous than the moaning had been.

The second time they almost got caught, she was drunk enough that focusing on standing upright had become a full-body project.

The house belonged to some guy from one of Dean’s classes, or maybe one of Logan’s, or maybe no one knew and they had all simply agreed to occupy it until dawn. It smelled like beer, perfume, damp coats, and the kind of carpet that had seen too much and forgiven nothing.

She stood in the upstairs hallway with one shoulder against the wall, phone in hand, trying to read the same text from Garrett for the third time.

Garrett: You good?

It was a simple question. Easy. Very Garrett, actually. Casual on the surface, but sent because he had been watching her across the room ten minutes ago with that narrowed captain look he got whenever she reached the stage of drunk where her smile became too slow and her balance became hypothetical.

She typed, yes.

Then deleted it because the letters looked suspicious.

Then typed, yed.

Then stared at that for a long time.

Beside her, a cluster of girls in tiny tops and hockey-adjacent enthusiasm had been having one of those conversations that floated around the party like perfume: who was hot, who was overrated, who was secretly huge, who had commitment issues so severe they should probably be peer-reviewed. 

She ignored it for as long as she could because she had bigger concerns, namely that if the bathroom door did not open in the next thirty seconds she was going to have to start making decisions about where else she could throw up.

Then one of them said Garrett’s name. Her eyes lifted off her phone before she could stop them.

The girl speaking was blonde, glossy in a way that seemed expensive even if nothing she was wearing necessarily was, with a little white top and the high, pleased expression of someone enjoying the sound of her own anecdote. 

“No, I’m serious,” she was saying, one hand pressed to her chest like she was giving testimony. “Last night was the best night ever. Like, Garrett knows what he’s doing. He made me come, like, three times.”

The hallway did a small, drunken tilt.

The problem wasn't even jealousy at first, not properly. The problem was logistics. Garrett had been in her room last night. Garrett had been in her bed last night, sprawled diagonally like he owned both the mattress and several surrounding counties, one arm hooked around her waist while she tried to sleep and he mumbled something into her hair about setting an alarm for practice. 

Garrett had stolen half her blanket and then looked offended when she kicked him in the shin. Garrett had kissed the back of her shoulder at five in the morning before climbing out of bed, half-dressed in the dark, whispering, “Go back to sleep, baby,” like he had any right to sound that soft before sunrise.

So unless Garrett had discovered cloning between midnight and breakfast, the blonde girl was lying.

The girl noticed her staring, because drunken staring was rarely subtle and this particular stare had been delivered with the blank intensity of a haunted doll.

The blonde’s smile faltered into something confused but still sweet, which was somehow worse. “Um… hi, babe. You okay?”

Another girl beside her leaned in slightly, brows lifting. “Did you need some water?”

She opened her mouth. Closed it. Her phone was still in her hand, Garrett’s unanswered text glowing uselessly against her palm.

“You weren’t with Garrett last night,” she said.

The sentence came out too clear. Too certain. Sober-sounding, even, which was deeply unfair given the fact that her inner ear was currently behaving like a loose shopping trolley.

The blonde blinked. “What?”

“You weren’t with Garrett last night.” She frowned, genuinely trying to make the pieces fit and failing so hard that social caution had gone missing in the wreckage. “Why are you lying?”

The air around the bathroom line shifted. A couple of girls looked over. Someone’s mouth dropped open a tiny bit. The blonde’s face did that quick, ugly thing people’s faces did when embarrassment arrived and pride immediately tried to tackle it before it spread.

“And how would you know?” she asked, voice sharpening with a laugh around the edges. “Are you, like, his secretary?”

Her drunk brain, slow but not entirely dead, caught up with the fact that she was standing in a hallway full of girls, defending Garrett Graham’s whereabouts during the exact hours he had spent in her bed, while actively participating in a secret that depended on not doing that.

Her mouth opened. Nothing came out. The blonde’s brows rose.

“I– uh.” She looked down at her phone like it might offer legal counsel. Garrett’s text still sat there, accusatory and simple. “Never mind. Actually.”

Then she stepped out of the bathroom line. There was a slight shoulder bump with the wall and a near-collision with a guy carrying two beers, but she made it away from the girls and around the corner with most of her dignity still technically attached. 

Her heart was thudding stupidly hard for a hallway interaction, heat crawling up her throat and into her cheeks. Not jealousy, she told herself. She was just offended by misinformation. Academically. On principle. People should not be allowed to lie.

Her phone buzzed again as she reached the top of the stairs.

Garrett: Seriously. Where are you?

She stared at it for a second, then typed, need bathroom.

Then, after a pause, added, girls are liars.

His response came almost immediately.

Garrett: What

She squinted at the screen.

Garrett: Baby where are you

The baby landed warm even through the alcohol, which was annoying. She looked back over her shoulder toward the hallway, where the bathroom line and the blonde and the whole stupid conversation still existed. Then she started down the stairs, one hand on the railing, the phone clutched in the other, already scanning the crowd below for Garrett’s dark curls and the broad, familiar shape of him.

She found him near the kitchen archway, and he was already looking for her. He caught sight of her halfway down the stairs, and his face shifted at once, amusement and concern colliding so fast that neither won cleanly. He moved through the crowd before she even reached the bottom, one hand lifting to her elbow as she stepped off the last stair.

“Hey,” he said, ducking close so she could hear him. “You okay?”

She looked up at him very seriously. “You were in my room last night.”

Garrett paused. His eyes moved over her face, then over the stairs behind her, then back down. “Yeah.”

“Like the whole night.”

His mouth twitched. “Most of it, yeah.”

“So that girl is a liar.”

A slow understanding dawned across his face. Then, because he was Garrett and therefore terrible, he started to smile. “What girl?”

She jabbed a finger somewhere upward. “The blonde. She said you made her come three times.”

His brows jumped. “Did I?”

“Garrett.”

“What? I feel like I’d remember.”

She crossed her arms. “She was lying.”

“Sounds like it.”

“She looked me in the face and lied.”

Garrett’s hand slid from her elbow to her waist, steadying her when she swayed half an inch in outrage. “You say anything?”

She stared at him.

His eyes narrowed, still smiling but sharper now. “What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Baby,” he whispered.

“I said she wasn’t with you last night.”

Garrett closed his eyes for one second. Just one. When he opened them again, he looked like he was fighting for his life against laughter. “Right.”

“She asked how I knew.”

“Okay.”

“And then I left.”

“Good call.”

“I almost said because you were with me.”

His grin did something helpless then, softer under the smugness, like the idea pleased him before he had time to make it a joke. “Yeah?”

She frowned at him. “Don’t look happy. I nearly compromised the mission.”

“The mission?”

“Our secrecy mission.”

“Our secrecy mission isn’t going great if you’re interrogating women in bathroom lines about my location.”

“She started it.”

“Sure.”

“She did,” she whined, dragging the second word out.

“I believe you.” He didn’t, not entirely. Or maybe he did and was simply enjoying himself too much to be decent about it. His hand squeezed once at her waist, warm and grounding. “You still need to pee?”

Her face fell. “Yes.”

Garrett’s mouth twitched again. “Come on. There’s a bathroom downstairs.”

“You know that?”

“I’m observant.”

“You’re a slut.”

“I’m helpful.” He leaned in, his lips brushing her ear, voice dropping into that low teasing register that made her stomach flip despite the fact that she was seconds away from becoming a medical emergency. “And for the record, next time I make you come three times, I’m expecting a better cover story than that.”

She turned her head slowly to glare at him. Garrett looked deeply pleased with himself.

The third time they almost got caught, she was in the hockey house kitchen at three in the morning wearing Garrett’s t-shirt with absolutely no plan.

It was after a loss, which meant the whole house had gone strange and heavy by midnight. The kind of subdued where the TV stayed on without anyone really watching it and the boys drank beer not to party but to have something to do with their hands.

Garrett had barely spoken when he came out of the locker room earlier, jaw tight, lip split, a bruise already blooming near his cheekbone, that restless, furious energy still moving under his skin like the game had not fully let go of him.

She hadn’t been supposed to come over. That was the rule. One of the rules. There were several now, apparently, all of them made by two people with a strong shared interest in pretending they had control over anything. 

No arriving together. No leaving together. No obvious texts when the guys were around. No sitting too close at parties. No looking at each other for too long in kitchens, which was quickly becoming the hardest one because Garrett Graham had a deeply inconvenient face and an even more inconvenient habit of watching her mouth when she was trying to speak.

And definitely no sneaking into his room after midnight through the window like a raccoon because he’d lost a hockey game and she wanted to crawl into bed with him.

So, naturally, she had done exactly that. Garrett’s window wasn't as easy to access as she had expected it to be. 

She had nearly died twice, scraped her knee on the siding, and whispered, “This is so stupid,” to herself with feeling before finally pushing the window up and tumbling into his room with all the grace of a bag of laundry.

Garrett had been lying on his bed in the dark, shirtless, one arm over his face. He hadn’t even startled properly. He had just shifted the arm enough to look at her, eyes bleary and bruised with exhaustion, and said, “Baby, what the fuck.”

“I’m being supportive.”

“You broke into my room.”

“I prefer… entered creatively.”

He had stared at her for another second, then lifted the edge of the blanket.

For all the jokes, all the swagger, all the please-don’t-call-this-what-it-is of him, he made room for her too easily. Like his body knew before the rest of him had finished filing objections. She crawled in beside him, careful of his ribs and the angry bruise darkening along one side of his stomach, and he rolled toward her with a wince he tried to hide and a hand that found her hip immediately under the blanket.

“Hi,” he had murmured after a while, lips brushing her hair.

She had smiled into his chest. “Hi.”

Now, hours later, she woke up with her mouth dry enough to qualify as an emergency and Garrett’s arm heavy across her middle.

The room was dark and cold around the edges, the cracked window letting in a thin stream of winter air that made the discarded clothes on the floor look like shadows. Garrett was dead asleep behind her, breathing rough through his nose, body warm and heavy and completely gone in the way only athletes after a bad game seemed capable of being. 

One of his hands was tucked under the hem of the shirt she’d stolen off his floor. She swallowed once. Painfully. Then again. Still bad.

She shifted carefully. Garrett grunted and tightened his arm, which would have been sweet if it had not also trapped her in a dehydrated prison.

“Baby,” she whispered.

Nothing.

“Garrett.”

A deeper grunt this time. His face pressed into the back of her neck.

“Baby,” she tried again, softer. “Can you get me water?”

Garrett’s answer was a long, sleep-mangled sound that might have been English in a previous life. She waited. 

“Garrett. Please. I’m really thirsty.”

“No,” he mumbled into her hair.

She turned her head as much as she could. “No?”

“M’sleep.”

“You’re talking.”

“Sleep talking.”

She groaned softly. “You’re the worst.”

“Mm.”

She lay there for another thirty seconds, hoping thirst might pass. It did not. Eventually she eased his arm off her waist inch by inch, freezing every time he made a noise, and rolled over to look at him properly.

The sight softened her irritation before she could defend against it. His face was turned toward her on the pillow, hair falling messily over his forehead, lashes low against his cheek. The split in his lip had dried dark at one corner. The bruise near his ribs looked ugly, even in the low light. Another mark curved along his stomach where he’d been slammed into the boards hard enough that the crowd had made a single collective ooooh.

He wasn't getting up. She sighed and climbed out of bed.

The floorboards were cold under her bare feet. Garrett’s t-shirt hit high on her thighs, soft and oversized and smelling like detergent and him. She paused at the door, listening. The house had finally gone mostly quiet. No TV. No shouting. No Dean wandering around half-drunk asking philosophical questions about hot girls and mortality. Only the hum of the fridge downstairs and the occasional tick of the heating.

She slipped into the hall and padded down the stairs, one hand trailing lightly along the wall because the dark made everything look unfamiliar. The kitchen waited at the bottom, dim and blue with moonlight through the window over the sink. Someone had left a pizza box open on the counter. There were three empty beer bottles near the stove and a hoodie slung over one of the chairs. The house smelled like stale chips, laundry, and the faint metallic cold of nighttime.

She found a glass in the cabinet after opening the wrong one twice, filled it at the sink, and drank half of it in one go with her eyes closed.

Then the light snapped on. She spun around so fast water sloshed over her hand.

Tucker stood in the doorway in sweatpants and a faded t-shirt, one hand still on the light switch, hair flattened on one side from sleep. He blinked at her. She blinked back.

For one full second, neither of them moved.

Then Tucker looked at the oversized shirt. Her bare legs. The glass in her hand. The stairs behind her.

“Well,” he said slowly. “Shit.”

Her stomach dropped.

“No,” she said immediately. “Please don’t–”

Tucker rubbed one hand over his face, looking more tired than scandalised. “Damn. I owe Logan ten bucks.”

That derailed her panic so thoroughly that she stared at him. “What?”

He gave her a sympathetic look that somehow made everything worse. “I can’t believe you slept with him again.”

Her mouth opened. Closed. The silence that followed wasn't her best work.

Tucker’s brows lifted. “Dean? Obviously?”

Oh.

The relief arrived so hard it nearly made her dizzy, followed immediately by the horrible understanding that she now had to let Tucker think she had climbed out of Dean’s bed at three in the morning. Her brain, which had been half-asleep and mostly water-focused three minutes ago, scrambled for purchase.

“Right,” she said, too quickly. “Yeah. Dean. Obviously.”

Tucker’s expression softened in a way that made guilt stab straight through the middle of her chest. “Oh. Uh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it weird.”

“No, it’s–” She swallowed, clutching the glass with both hands. God bless darkness. God bless Tucker being half-asleep. God bless the fact that Dean’s entire personality was plausible cover for almost any bad decision within a thirty-foot radius. “Please don’t say anything.”

Tucker frowned. “I won’t.”

“No, seriously. Please.” She made her eyes wide because she could, because she had been underestimated by men before and did occasionally enjoy the practical benefits. “It’s so embarrassing. I wasn’t going to. I don’t even know why I– God.” She looked down, shook her head, and gave a small, miserable laugh that deserved an award from whatever committee evaluated female deception in shared kitchens. “Please don’t tell Logan. Or anyone. Especially Dean. Actually, fuck, especially Dean.”

Tucker, who possessed the inconvenient decency of a man who hated watching people feel bad, visibly faltered. “Hey. No, yeah. Totally. Your secret’s safe with me.”

She nodded, still performing devastated shame with one hand wrapped around a stolen water glass. “Thank you.”

“Do you… need anything?”

The kindness almost killed her. “No. I’m good. Just water.”

“Okay.”

Another awkward beat passed. Then Tucker stepped aside from the doorway with the solemn discomfort of someone allowing a ghost to pass through. “Night.”

“Night,” she whispered, and scurried toward the stairs with the glass held carefully against her chest.

She didn’t breathe properly until Garrett’s door shut behind her.

He was still asleep when she climbed back into bed. Useless. Beautiful, bruised, useless man. She set the glass on his nightstand and stared at him for a second in the dark, still buzzing with adrenaline. Then she smacked his shoulder.

Garrett flinched awake with a strangled noise, eyes half-opening. “What– fuck– what?”

“Tucker caught me downstairs.”

That woke him a little more. “What?”

“He thinks I slept with Dean.”

Garrett went very still. Then his face did something fascinating in the dark. Sleep disappeared. Pain disappeared. Every exhausted, post-game softness sharpened into offended disbelief. “He thinks you what?”

“I had to go with it!”

“You had to?”

“Yes, Garrett, because the alternative was saying actually I’m sneaking out of Garrett’s room after cuddling with him because we’re both very normal and secretive and weird.”

He pushed himself up on one elbow, immediately winced, then tried to pretend he hadn’t. “Why the fuck would he think Dean?”

“Because of Dean!”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s kind of the whole answer.” She climbed back under the blanket, still whispering harshly. “You wouldn’t get me water.”

“I was asleep.”

“So I went downstairs and got caught and had to improvise.”

Garrett stared at her, jaw working. Even bruised and half-dead, he managed to look jealous in a way that made her want to laugh and kiss him and maybe shove him a little. “Tucker thinks you left Dean’s room wearing my shirt?”

“I don’t think he was doing t-shirt analysis at three in the morning.”

Garrett dropped back against the pillow with a quiet, pained groan, one hand dragging over his face. “Great.”

She settled beside him, taking a long, triumphant sip of water. “Your fault.”

“My fault?”

“Yes.”

“For being asleep after getting hit, like, forty times tonight,” he said, eyes wide in the dark. Then he groaned. “Fuckin’– Dean?”

She smiled despite herself. “You’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.” He was very obviously jealous. His arm came around her waist and tugged her closer with enough care not to hurt himself but enough insistence to make the point. “I just don’t love Tucker thinking you’re sneaking out of Dean’s bed.”

“Technically, he thinks I’m sneaking out of Dean’s bed and deeply ashamed.”

Garrett made a noise of disgust. “Jesus.”

She pressed her face into his shoulder to hide her smile. “Poor Tucker was very sweet.”

“I don’t want to hear about sweet Tucker right now.”

“You’re so easy.”

“I’m injured.”

“You’re possessive.”

He was quiet for half a second. Then, low against her hair, “Maybe don’t make me hear Dean’s name when you’re in my bed.”

She lifted her head. In the dark, Garrett’s expression was harder to read, but she could feel him looking at her. Could feel the tension under the joke, under the jealousy, under the secret they kept pretending was only fun because fun was easier than looking directly at whatever else had started living between them.

“Okay,” she whispered.

His hand moved under the shirt, warm at her back. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” She nudged her nose against his jaw, soft. “No Dean.”

His breath left him slowly. “Good.”

“You still should’ve gotten me water.”

“Go to sleep.”

“You’re mean.”

“You broke into my room.”

“You let me in.”

“Mm,” Garrett murmured, already pulling her closer, careful around his ribs, his mouth brushing her forehead. “I know.”

The fourth time they almost got caught, Garrett took her on a date three towns over and still somehow managed to know someone there.

It was a cute restaurant. Cute in a way that made both of them a little awkward for the first ten minutes because hooking up in secret at parties and sneaking through windows had not prepared either of them for menus with seasonal specials and candles in little glass holders. 

The place sat on a narrow street with string lights outside and fogged windows and a hostess who smiled at Garrett for two seconds too long before noticing the girl beside him and recalibrating. Garrett noticed the recalibration. His mouth twitched as they followed the hostess toward a booth in the back.

“Don’t,” she muttered.

“I didn’t say anything.”

She crossed her arms. “You were about to.”

“I was gonna say the soup smells good.”

“You were not.”

Garrett laughed, warm and low, and slid into the booth beside her instead of across from her without asking. They were far enough from Briar that no one should have known them, tucked into the back corner of a restaurant full of older couples and small groups and a table of women laughing over wine near the bar.

It made the whole thing feel suspended, like they’d stepped out of the rules for a few hours and could sit too close without having to perform distance for anyone.

His thigh pressed against hers under the table. Their shoulders brushed every time one of them moved. Garrett kept stealing fries off her plate even though he’d ordered his own, and she kept pretending to be offended while pushing the plate half an inch closer because dignity had left with the appetizer.

At some point his hand found hers on the booth seat between them. His fingers sliding over hers, playing with them idly while he told her about a freshman on the team who had tried to tape his stick with what Logan called the confidence of a man raised by wolves.

She laughed into her drink, and Garrett looked at her in a way that made the restaurant feel suddenly much smaller.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, you’re doing the face.”

His thumb moved over her knuckles. “Just like hearing you laugh.”

That shut her up immediately. Garrett’s eyes flickered over her face, and she hated him for noticing the way the words landed. Hated him more for softening instead of making a joke out of it. For a second they just sat there, fingers tangled on the seat between them, candlelight catching along the edge of his jaw and the chain at his throat, his knee warm against hers.

Then she looked down at the table because she had limits. “That was gross.”

“Yeah?”

“You should be embarrassed.”

He sucked at his teeth gently. “I’m not.”

“No. I know. That’s one of your worst qualities.”

He grinned and lifted her hand, pressing a quick kiss to the back of it. “Top five, maybe.”

She was smiling despite herself, leaning in closer, when a voice came from the side of the booth.

“Graham?”

Garrett’s hand froze around hers. A tiny, immediate stillness that went through him faster than any expression on his face could catch. His smile stayed in place when he looked up, but she felt the change in his body first. The slight tightening at his shoulder. The way his hand shifted off hers and came to rest on his own thigh. The casual posture assembling itself a second too late to be real.

A guy stood at the end of the booth, tall and broad, with the unmistakable haircut of a hockey player and a jacket with Eastwood stitched over the chest. Recognition hit Garrett’s face, then something flatter underneath it.

“Parker,” Garrett said, easy enough if you weren’t pressed against him and listening to the mechanics of the lie. “What’s up, man?”

The Eastwood player grinned and held out a hand. Garrett slid out of the booth halfway to shake it, and she sank approximately two inches lower in the seat.

Which was stupid. Very stupid. If she wanted to avoid notice, shrinking into the booth like a child hiding from a substitute teacher wasn't a subtle approach. But the whole night had gone bright and hot behind her ears. She took an intense interest in the remaining fries on her plate and prayed for invisibility.

No such luck. Parker’s eyes flicked to her with polite curiosity. The interest of someone who had stumbled into a scene and wanted to know the category. Date? Hookup? Cousin? Hostage?

Garrett, because his life was apparently a sport in all directions, stood in front of the booth with one hand settling briefly on his hip before moving up to scratch along his jaw.

Nervous.

She noticed it instantly. Garrett Graham didn’t usually look nervous. He looked cocky, amused, focused, pissed off, hungry, occasionally concussed, but not nervous. Yet there he was, smiling and doing all the tiny, useless things his body did when he wanted to seem casual too badly: thumb brushing under his nose, hand dragging through his curls, weight shifting onto one foot and then back again.

“What are you doing out here?” Parker asked.

Garrett shrugged. “Dinner.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Parker laughed, looking around. “Didn’t expect to see you this far out.”

“Had to get off campus for a minute.”

The sentence was true enough to pass. It made something soft and stupid open in her chest, because Garrett had wanted to get off campus with her. Not to hook up quickly before someone knocked. Not to drag her upstairs at a party. Dinner. A booth. His fingers playing with hers beside the cushion. The whole quiet normal shape of it.

Parker’s gaze flicked to her again. Garrett saw it and shifted half a step, not blocking her, but angling himself between the attention and her face in a way that made her want to press her forehead to the table.

“This is–” Garrett started, and then stopped.

Her heart gave one hard kick, because there was no good ending there. This is my friend sounded insane. This is the girl I’m sleeping with sounded worse. This is the girl Dean hooked up with and now I am secretly, catastrophically gone for sounded accurate but logistically challenging.

So Garrett, genius athlete, captain of the Briar men’s hockey team, man with a GPA that proved his brain did occasionally participate, did the only thing available. He smiled wider and said, “We’re just eating.”

She closed her eyes.

Parker blinked once, then, mercifully, either understood enough to leave it alone or decided he didn’t care. “Cool, cool. Good to see you, bro.” He clapped Garrett once on the shoulder. “See you on the ice.”

Garrett’s grin sharpened into something more familiar. “Looking forward to it.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

They did the aggressive male handshake thing again, all knuckles and shoulder tension and mutual threat disguised as friendliness, then Parker left toward the bar.

Garrett stood for one second after he was gone, watching him go. Then he slid back into the booth beside her, and both of them sat completely still.

She stared at the table. Garrett stared straight ahead. Then, at exactly the same time, they both exhaled.

“Jesus Christ,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Garrett said. “That was– yeah.”

She turned her head slowly. “We’re just eating?”

His jaw tightened. “I panicked. What was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know, Garrett. Fuck.”

His hand found hers again, but this time under the table, fingers lacing through hers with a little more urgency than before. “Too close?”

She looked down at their joined hands. His thumb was moving over hers, once, twice, like he was calming himself as much as her. “Way too close.”

“Yeah.”

“And you were nervous.”

He scoffed and shook his head once. “I wasn't nervous.”

“You scratched your jaw like nine times.”

“My jaw itched.”

Her eyebrows raised. “And your nose?”

“Itched too,” he shrugged. 

“And your hair?”

“Whole body’s falling apart, apparently.”

She huffed a laugh, and his hand tightened around hers. When she looked up, he was watching her with that softer thing again. The thing that kept sneaking in around the edges of their jokes and making them both go quiet.

“Hey,” he said, lower. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For making it weird.”

“It is weird.”

“Yeah.” His mouth pulled at one corner. “But I like this weird.”

The warmth hit so hard she had to look away toward the candle. “You can’t say stuff like that after calling me an eating companion.”

“I didn’t call you that.”

“You kinda did.”

Garrett laughed, then leaned in and kissed her temple because out of town meant he could do that. Could sit beside her in a booth and kiss her hair and hold her hand under the table and look at her like the secret was starting to bother him not because he wanted out of it, but because he wanted out of the hiding part.

She let herself lean into him for half a second. Just half. 

The fifth time, the time they were finally caught, she didn’t think at all, and that was probably why it happened.

Afterward, she would be able to admit there had been options. Reasonable options. Normal options. She could have waited outside the locker room like other people did. She could have texted him. She could have asked Logan if Garrett was okay, which would have been embarrassing but survivable. 

She could have done any number of things that didn’t involve slipping past the edge of the crowd after the game and walking straight into the tunnel like she had a right to be there.

But Garrett had been wrong all night. He had played well in flashes because Garrett Graham could probably play well during a natural disaster if someone gave him skates and a reason. But there had been something jagged in him from the first period. 

Too sharp on the checks. Too quick to shove back. Mouthguard hanging between his teeth while he stared down some Eastwood winger with a look on his face that made her hands go cold around the railing.

He got sent off twice. Once for roughing, once for a fight that started so fast the crowd seemed to notice it only after Garrett already had a fist tangled in someone’s jersey. The second time, even Coach looked furious in that controlled way that made grown men behave like children caught setting fires.

She watched Garrett in the box with his jaw clenched and blood bright at the corner of his mouth, his chest rising hard under the pads, eyes fixed somewhere across the ice but not really on it.

Logan skated by once and said something. Garrett didn’t smile. Didn’t chirp back. Didn’t do any of the things he usually did to make violence look like part of the game and not something older moving through him.

So after the final buzzer, after Briar won, despite Garrett trying to personally fistfight the entire opposing roster, after the crowd started spilling into the aisles and everyone around her buzzed with post-game noise, she moved.

The tunnel was colder than the stands, all concrete and rubber matting and the damp, metallic smell of hockey gear. Voices echoed from the locker room ahead, overlapping male noise and equipment hitting benches and someone laughing too loudly in that exhausted post-adrenaline way.

She slipped past a staff member who was too busy looking at a clipboard to care, turned the corner, and found Garrett standing alone near the wall.

He was still in most of his gear. Helmet off. Gloves gone. Hair damp and flattened at the sides, curls sticking up where he had run his hands through them. His head hung forward, both palms braced on his knees like he was trying to breathe the game out of himself and failing. Blood had dried at his lip again. His jaw worked once. Twice. The tendons in his neck stood out under the harsh tunnel light.

Her chest tightened so fast it hurt. “Garrett.”

His head snapped up. The second he saw her, everything in his face changed. He came back by inches, like her voice had reached into whatever ugly room he was in and opened a door.

“Hi,” he said, breathless, already straightening. Then again, rougher, like the first one had not been enough. “Hey.”

She closed the space before either of them had time to remember they weren’t supposed to do this where people could walk by. 

“Hey.” Her hands went to his face immediately, careful around the split lip, thumbs brushing at the damp edges of his cheeks. “You good? What happened?”

Garrett let out a breath, eyes closing. His hands came up to cover hers for one second, pressing them harder to his face like he needed the contact more than he wanted to admit. “M’fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

His chest was still moving hard, the pads making him look even bigger, all post-game heat and sweat and the raw leftover violence of whatever had been eating at him on the ice. She slid one hand up into his hair, fingers pushing through the damp curls at his temple. His exhale shook.

“You alright?” she asked again, softer now.

He nodded, but it was a bad nod. A nod made out of stubbornness and breath and the fact that he had no idea what to do with her looking at him like this in a tunnel. His jaw shifted. His eyes opened, finding hers, and whatever he saw there made his whole face pull tight for half a second.

“Baby,” he murmured.

That did it. Here, in the tunnel, with the locker room noise around the corner and blood on his mouth and his breathing still rough from whatever fight he had nearly brought home from the ice, the word hit somewhere deeper.

She rose onto her toes and kissed him. It was meant to be small, it really was. A check-in. A reassurance. A brief press of her mouth to his.

Garrett made a low sound the second her lips touched his, and then his arms were around her waist, pulling her in properly, pads and all, crushing the space between them like he’d been waiting the whole night for something solid enough to hold.

The kiss turned immediately. His mouth opened under hers, hungry and rough and not careful enough at first, then careful all at once when she brushed his split lip and he hissed softly into her mouth.

She pulled back half an inch. “Sorry.”

“Don’t care,” he said, and kissed her again.

Everything from the game poured into it. The hits. The fights. The awful, tight look in his eyes from the penalty box. Her hands cold on the railing. The secret they’d been carrying around like something light when it had gotten heavier every time he looked at her across a room and didn’t come closer. Garrett’s fingers dug into her waist. Hers stayed in his hair, tugging lightly. He kissed like he was trying to get back into his own body through her mouth. And she let him.

Then someone behind them said, “Ohhhh shit.”

They broke apart so fast it was almost violent. Logan stood ten feet away with a towel slung around his neck, hair wet, mouth open in the kind of delighted grin usually reserved for a successful prank or Tucker injuring himself in a deeply avoidable way. 

His eyes moved from Garrett’s arms around her waist, to her hands still caught in Garrett’s hair, to Garrett’s swollen mouth, and then back again. For one second, no one spoke.

Garrett’s arms didn’t leave her waist. She noticed that through the panic, through the sudden rush of heat to her face, through the knowledge that the entire delicate architecture of their secrecy had just been bodychecked into open air by John Logan and his shit-eating grin.

Garrett kept holding her.

Logan’s grin widened. “Was comin’ to check on the captain, but… shit.” He lifted both hands, backing away already, eyes bright with the kind of joy that meant the locker room was about to become a crime scene. “Guess he’s alright.”

“Logan,” Garrett said, low warning.

Logan only pointed at him, walking backward. “Nope. No. Don’t Logan me. You have been weird as fuck for weeks, man.”

Her stomach dropped and flipped at the same time.

Garrett’s jaw tightened. “Don’t–”

But Logan had already turned toward the locker room, voice rising with unholy glee. “You’ll never fucking guess what I just saw!”

The sound that came from the locker room was immediate. A burst of voices. Dean’s laugh cutting through first, bright and vicious. Tucker saying something too low to catch. Someone yelling, “What?” and Logan answering with, “Graham!” in the tone of a man unveiling evidence at trial.

She closed her eyes. Garrett dropped his forehead to hers.

For a second, neither of them moved. His breath was warm against her mouth, still uneven. Her hands had slipped from his hair to the sides of his neck. His gear pressed awkwardly against her chest. 

Somewhere around the corner, the locker room erupted again, Dean’s voice now unmistakable. “No fucking way!”

Garrett exhaled, eyes closing. “Fuck.”

She huffed, because there was nothing else to do. A laugh, almost. A sigh. The sound of a girl watching the secret blow up and realising, somewhere under the horror, that she wasn't as upset as she should be.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Fuck.”

His hands flexed at her waist. He didn’t move back.

This was the moment he could step away. Where he could put space between them and run a hand through his hair and say something easy, something Garrett-shaped and evasive, something that made the kiss look smaller than it was. 

He could make it a joke before anyone else did. He could hide behind Logan’s big mouth and Dean’s inevitable commentary and the whole familiar machinery of the hockey house turning one private thing into public entertainment.

Instead he stayed with his forehead against hers, breathing hard, thumbs pressing into her waist through her coat.

Then Dean appeared around the corner, because the universe couldn’t let them have more than three seconds without sending in a rich boy with terrible timing. 

He leaned one shoulder against the wall, grinning like Christmas had come early and wearing only half his gear. Logan popped up behind him, still delighted. Tucker stood a few steps back with his arms folded, looking resigned and not remotely surprised.

Dean’s eyes flicked over the two of them, still pressed together, Garrett’s hands still on her waist. His grin turned wicked. “Well, well, well.”

She groaned. “Don’t.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Dean said, hand over his heart. “I would never.”

“You absolutely would.”

“I absolutely will,” he corrected. His eyes slid to Garrett, bright with evil. “Graham. Buddy. Pal. Teammate. You’ve been sneaking around with my ex?”

“She’s not your ex,” Garrett said immediately.

Dean’s grin widened. “Oh, interesting. Strong feelings from the captain.”

“She’s not,” Garrett repeated, jaw tightening.

She shouldn’t have enjoyed that. She did anyway.

Dean’s gaze moved to her, faux-wounded. “I thought we had something beautiful.”

“You were sleeping with six other girls while sleeping with me. You’re a pig.”

Logan made a strangled sound. Tucker’s mouth twitched.

Dean pointed at her. “See? This is why I missed you.”

Garrett’s hand tightened at her waist. “Dean.”

“Oh, relax.” Dean lifted both hands, but he was still grinning. “I’m not poaching. I have respect.”

Logan leaned around Dean, eyes shining. “So how long?”

“Nope,” Garrett said.

“How long?” Logan repeated, louder.

She looked at Garrett. Garrett looked at her. For one brief, stupid second they both seemed to consider lying. It was a beautiful instinct, really. Loyal to the end. Completely useless now that Garrett’s mouth was visibly swollen from kissing her and his hands had still not left her body.

“Three weeks,” she said.

Garrett’s head snapped toward her.

“What?” she said. “He was going to keep asking.”

Logan’s mouth dropped open. Dean shouted, “Three weeks?” Tucker just closed his eyes, nodding once to himself.

“I knew something was up,” Tucker said.

Garrett looked at him sharply. “You did not.”

Tucker opened his eyes. “She came downstairs for water in your shirt and let me think she’d slept with Dean.”

Dean turned slowly. “I’m sorry, what?”

She winced. “That was strategic.”

“You were in my house,” Dean said, pointing at himself, “using me as a slutty decoy?”

“Yes.”

Dean looked moved. “Honoured.”

Garrett made a sound under his breath. “Jesus Christ.”

Logan clapped Dean on the shoulder. “Come on. Let the lovebirds emotionally process before Coach catches Garrett making out in a tunnel like a freshman.”

Garrett finally looked over. “Dude.”

“What? That was supportive.”

Dean pointed at her as Logan started dragging him backward. “We’re talking later. I have questions. Boundary-respecting questions, but questions.”

“No, we’re not,” she called back.

“We absolutely are.”

Tucker gave her a small, sympathetic nod as he turned. “Congratulations. And good luck.”

“Thanks,” she said, because honestly that seemed appropriate.

The three of them disappeared back toward the locker room, taking the noise with them in pieces. Logan already yelling something that sounded like, “Three weeks, boys!” Dean making wounded noises. Tucker telling someone to put on pants.

Garrett laughed, low and real, and the sound loosened the last tight thing still sitting under her ribs. She looked up at him, at the bruise on his cheek and the split in his mouth and the ridiculous, beautiful, inconvenient boy who had somehow gone from secret bad idea to the person she walked into tunnels for without thinking.

“So,” she said, brushing her thumb carefully under the cut at his lip. “Guess we’re blown.”

His grin came back slowly, cocky at the edges and warm all the way through. “Yeah.”

“And you still have to explain why you were trying to fight half of Eastwood tonight.”

The grin faded by a fraction, but he didn’t look away. “Later?”

She studied him for a second, then nodded. “Later.”

His arms tightened. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Then Garrett kissed her again, because being exposed to the entire hockey house hadn’t cured him of bad timing. She kissed him back anyway, smiling into it when the locker room erupted once more at whatever Logan had just announced.

This time, when Garrett’s hand slid openly to the small of her back and held her there, neither of them moved away.

Walter keeps his hand firmly on your lower back as he smiles proudly as your great aunt. Or maybe a third or fourth cousin twice removed? You’re too tired to keep track.

Your cheeks puff out as you repress a yawn. Walter slides his hand around your hip and pulls you closer.

“Pardon us, I think my wife is getting close to her limit,” he purrs.

“No, no, don’t let us keep you.” Ruth clasps your hand. “Congratulations, dear. We’re all so happy for you.” Her smile wilts. “And sorry to hear about your father.”

Despite many proclaiming this day to be the happiest of your life, you can’t agree. For every smile, there’s a looming frown. Your father was once the life of these things. He loved to drink and sing along to the outdated music. Now, he just sits there.

“Long day,” Walter intones as he leads you away. “Let’s say good night.”

“Okay,” you agree softly.

You hide another yawn in your hand. He brings you over to your mother as she wearily pets your father’s hand. He’s asleep in his chair.

“Oh, ma, you should take him to bed.” You say.

“I didn’t want to… miss anything,” she stands from the bench. “Oh, I am so happy for you. I remember our day. I slept like a log that night.”

You nod and force a smile. She hugs you.

“We’re just going to call it a night,” Walter says. “Think everyone’s ready to turn in.”

“I think you’re…. Right,” she fans herself as another yawn threatens to rise. “You two go. I’ll see everyone off.”

“Ma, you sure? It’s our wedding.” You grab onto her hand. Suddenly, you don’t want to go. Not with Walter.

“It’s your special day. Let me give you this gift.” She squeezes your hand. “Enjoy your night. Remember it. One day, you’ll want it back.”

Your heart plucks as her eyes glimmer glumly. You look at your dad as he snores. It’s nice to see him at peace.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Walter takes your hand and draws you away.

You’re stopped several times before you can escape. Your cousin Sandra says she’ll invite you to her wedding, whenever that comes. And your Aunt Ellie makes a bawdy comment about your wedding night. You try to hide behind Walter as he leads you past the stragglers.

His truck is parked behind the barn. You slow as you don’t recognise it at first. There are flowers and foliage framing the open bed and another cluster on top of the roof. It’s all dressed up like you and him.

“Wow… pretty,” you say.

“Wanted to make it special.” He shrugs as he brings you closer. “You just get in and rest your eyes, honey.”

He opens the door and helps you up into the truck. He snatches up the hem of your dress and tucks it between your ankles before he shuts you in. You shrink in the seat and stare out at the moonlight fanning over the dark fields.

His weight shifts the axle as he climbs in. He turns the engine and grips the steering wheel with one hand; his other finds yours. He clasps on as he drives around the bard and toward the long country road.

His hand is hot and heavy around yours. Sweat rises on your skin as heat simmers in your veins. This is it. The first night of the rest of your life.

Your head lolls and you watch out the window. He might let you sleep. You’re exhausted. Or maybe he’ll make it quick. You shiver and he squeezes your hand.

“You alright, sweetheart?” He asks.

“Mhmm,” you hum. “It’s late.”

“Yeah…” He drawls.

You squint through the dark as he takes a turn you don’t expect. He doesn’t head for his homestead, instead, he rolls up the large hill overlooking the forest. The outlook gives a view of half the village.

He lets you go and cranks the shifter as he stops. He gets out and you sit up. You can’t see through the dark. You hear him as he opens the back of the truck bed. You can feel him climb in and moving around.

You turn to watch floating lights appear around the vines and petals that trim the back of the truck. The axle bounces again and his footsteps crunch toward your door. He swings it open and offers his hand.

You let him help you out. You stumble in your heels and catch yourself against him. He quickly wraps you up in his thick arm and guides you around the back of the truck.

Small electric string lights glow against the foliage and light the soft cushions set within the truck bed. A mattress lines the bottom and petals litter the edges. You stare in disbelief.

“Like it?” He asks.

It’s beautiful. More than that, it shows care. It shows very deliberate planning. How much more did he plan than just this?

He moves around you and frames your hips with his large hands. He lifts you and you gasp in surprise. You catch yourself on the open door of the truck bed and crawl up onto the cushy mattress. He lets you go and hauls himself up after you.

You turn to sit and he falls down next to you. He stretches his arm behind your shoulders and sighs. You rub your elbow nervously as you look up at the sky.

“It’s nice up here…” he says.

“Yeah…” you agree weakly and squirm.

He leans in and his nose brushes your temple. He kisses your cheek. You tense.

“You’re so beautiful,” he purrs. “Especially right now.”

He dips his head down and kisses your shoulder. You shiver. He nuzzles your neck and pulls you to him. He turns you slightly in his embrace as he reclines.

He finds your mouth and you squeak. He rolls onto his side and cradles your head as he presses his lips firmly to yours. His tongue barges into your mouth as you brace his chest. Your own is thumping.

You’re trying to catch your breath. Sat on his cock, kept steady by his hands. Soohyuk’s merciful enough to let you come down from your high before fucking you again. Panting into his neck, you try to get the messages across that you’re ready, that you can take it. He seems to enjoy it, though, to hold you down, fill you so completely it’s impossible to pay attention to anything else.

Your lips close around a patch of skin on his throat. Then again, just a little higher on a spot that always makes him grab you a little tighter. You kiss around that spot, and you know he’s biting his lips because it’s a sensitive area and it’s ticklish, and then you suck right on the mark and - bingo.

“y/n,” he groans your name, head thrown back. 

You take it as an invitation. He’d never bare your neck to you if he didn’t want you to enjoy yourself. You’re careful not to make the marks too dark, though. Not the ones on his neck at least. His collarbones and chest are always hidden so you can do as you please there. To be honest, you wanna test him. Test his limits, to be precise. You kiss and nibble, and you lick and you suck. You mark him yours, paint his pretty skin pink and red and purple. Even as he draws his breaths he sounds so hot, teasing hints of his deep voice slipping into each sound he makes. It has you squirming on his lap.

“Slow down, baby,” he chuckles and the rasp in his voice makes you clench around him, “Don’t give me any ideas.”

But that’s exactly what you wanna do. You shift your weight. His hands slide lower to your ass. Experimentally you raise your hips, watching and waiting what’s he gonna do. He smirks, running his hands over your ass and up, squeezing as he does. Two can play this game, and so you clench your walls around him as you lower yourself again. He guides your hips, and as much as you want to misbehave, you don’t. Because he spoils you and so you want to spoil him too.

You follow his rhythm, hold his heated gaze as he makes you impale yourself on him again and again. You don’t hold anything back - no moan, no sound, no shiver. He grins when he hits your spot really hard and just right and your eyelids flutter as much as your sopping hole.

You will be good for him. It’s a promise you’ve made with yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it.

Your hand almost slips as you brace yourself against the fogged up window. Only now do you realize just how useless you’ve turned the car. You can only hope his pants caught most of the slick liquids running down from where you connect. The car smells like sex and you need fresh air but Soohyuk’s perfume is just as good. He guides your other hand to your shoulder and groans when you curl your nails into his skin.

You start bouncing on him for real. The sound of skin against skin and your panting, grunting, moaning, is all that can be heard in the limited space. It makes you desperate. Why couldn’t you just wait to the bedroom? Why would you tease yourself like this? There's barely any space to move and you want to make him push you down and take control. He pulls you closer, kissing you through your desperation. His teeth pull at your lip and you keen, legs almost giving up but he won’t let you. He thrusts up into you, rolling his hips against yours and helping you closer and closer to your climax with the hand that is not busy holding your body against his. You’re milking him and he only has so much patience but you will come first. And you do.

Would it be more practical to cum inside you? Yes. Does he do it? No. You whine at the loss, and you whine more when the sticky substance coats the insides of your thighs and your abdomen. He helps you through your high with his hand, not cruel enough to leave you unsatisfied.

You’re not naive enough to hope.

A part of you, one set on hurting you, wishes you could’ve met his previous wife. Joonggil never speaks of her, which is understandable, and you don’t push him, you don’t ask. Nonetheless, you’re curious. How unique that person must’ve been to capture Joonggil’s heart so? How wonderful she must've been that her death left behind a hollow shell of a man? You've only stopped doubting love is real after you've witnessed his devotion. How painful it is that you're not the object of it.

Sometimes you believe he wishes he'd have died with her. Other times you wonder whether, maybe, if you died people would believe him cursed and finally let him be alone and mourn the loss of the love of his life as he wishes. Even if that was the case, however, you could never take your life. You know that his mother would only push for another wedding. And more importantly, you could never do that to him. 

He still gets woken up by nightmares. Even tonight.

You know he can feel your eyes on him and so you get up. He's not stupid. You know he knows. But you have to keep up the charade. You're careful not to dirty your clothes as you step outside.

"y/n, go back to bed. The night is cold," he speaks without turning towards you.

Your name. Not wife like he used to call her - an information bestowed upon you by his mother. Apparently all that she does and says has to have a victim. Something to torment.

"Come back inside, Joonggil," you ignore his advice, "You're leaving tomorrow and you need strength."

He sighs.

"I'll be just a minute," he finally looks at you, giving you a slow nod. You return it, and just like that, you do as he’s told you.

Polite, short conversations, the usual. Come morning, he'll be gone before you can wake up. It hurts. Night seems to be the only time you can talk freely, without curious eyes and ears spying you. The rejection stings more for that.

Maybe it's for the best that he's leaving.

“I’m just nervous,” you admit weakly and finally meet his gaze. You seem surprised when you find no sign of frustration on his face, only a loving smile. He knows you are - truth be told, so is he, but he wants to be a comforting presence for you. He lets his hand wander to your own and gives it a gentle squeeze. He won’t let it show that he’s actually freaking out a little too.

“I’m here,” he reassures you. He wants to say more, but-

“I know,” you chuckle, only your body does not relax. Or not the one part of you that he needs to relax.

Quite the opposite and Soohyuk only barely manages to laugh a little before he rolls his lip between his teeth trying to stay still and quiet even as your walls clench on the tip of his cock.

“Love, I-” he starts and there’s a strain to his voice that he wanted to hide but can’t. He looks at you a little desperately and is met with your shy gaze and a small nod. Still he needs to make sure: “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” you smile, “Hearing you laugh helped. I’m glad it’s you. I love you.”

He shakes his head, but his lips turn up as well. He leans down as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I love you too. I’ll go slow, okay?”

You hum a yeah against his lips before you kiss him. He doesn’t hesitate at all to kiss you back, his lips gentle against yours. He takes his time before he moves his hips, waiting until you melt into the kiss.

He thrusts into you carefully, attentive to your every sound, every twitch of your muscles. He slows down almost to a stop whenever you get too tense, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and trailing kisses down your neck. He lets you twist your fingers in his hair without complaining. It feels nice, reassuring. Just before he can still fully inside you, he leans his forehead against yours. He wants to see you, wants to watch you while you take him in.

And he does just that. He takes in your blown pupils, the rise and fall of your chest, and how beautiful you look. All his. Your smile mirrors his and you squirm a little, giggling when Soohyuk groans and gives you a concerned look. He really wouldn’t hurt you, you realize, and tension melts from your body.

“Not so nervous now, huh?” his voice is teasing but the look in his eyes is too warm. Monitoring your reaction, he pulls his hips back slowly and thrusts back in. He grins when all you do is bite your lip to silence the pretty gasp it draws from you.

“It’s you,” you whisper, “I trust you.”

His heart is already beating fast, but you always have a way to make it speed up.

“long time no see, miss know it all” he smirked as you stood in front of him “i hope the road wasn’t too bumpy for your highness.” you really preferred him with his mouth shut. “long time no see, mr. perfect. the ride was not too bad, thank you.” you gave him a curt smile while thinking of 10 different ways to wipe his smug look off his face.

“(y/n) !” you looked towards the voice, and the ceo was beaming at you. “how are you, my dear? it’s been a while.” as much as you disliked his son, the father was a soft-hearted old man. “i’ve been doing well, and i’m excited to be back!” you smiled. “well, soohyuk over here truly needs some help adjusting to the changes, as he will be taking my place soon.” the taller man scoffed as his father gave him a stern look. “i hope that you two work well, and if you need anything, the future ceo is always available for help!” he beamed while soohyuk burned holes with his stare.

you were excited to be back in korea, doing new things and growing in your career, but you had a feeling a certain someone won’t make it so enjoyable.

.

.

an important meeting with potential investors was coming up tomorrow and soohyuk was reviewing his employees’ presentation. his finger stopped scrolling abruptly. an important calculation was missing. the one that will persuade the investors to even want to join hands with the company, winning them over. he was panicked yes, but he also had a devilish plan dancing on his mind.

“i will be needing this calculation on the presentation at 8 am sharp tomorrow.” he placed the papers in front of you nonchalantly. “but work hours are almost over and this part needs at least half a day’s worth of work?” you looked up at him, confused. “your point? you will either prove your worth for this position or, you will prove exactly my thoughts – a replaceable member.” he smirked. you stared at him in disbelief, anger slowly rising. he turned to walk away, “investors will be here by 8:30 am…oh and, you will be the one presenting.” his mocking voice was all that echoed in your head as you were determined to wipe it off his face.

8:30 am rolled around, as soohyuk was sitting at the center of the table, waiting expectantly. he expected every possible scenario, but not this. he did not expect you to stride in with such confidence, talk with elegance and precision, all the while staring directly at him. that was the first time he truly looked into your eyes, as he recognized the passion and determination. your calculation was flawless, the investors were eager to join hands, and he realized something terrible about himself.

he liked you. he was attracted to you. whatever had happened the first time you joined was him slowly falling for you. he was always impressed with your talent and passion, but hated the affection that came with it. and what a terrible thing it is, to fall for someone that can’t be his.

naturally, his response to this revelation is to avoid you at all costs. he wasn’t relentlessly criticizing your work anymore, kept brief conversations for work purposes, but not more than that. however, he wasn’t aware of the ticking bomb on the edge of exploding.

you were sitting at your desk, staring at the curtained office. what has gotten into him? you knew you got him back good for trying to downplay your skills and position, but you never imagined his reaction would be so extreme. and why was it bothering you so much? he was finally treating you less like a nuisance and more like a person, given how he was the last time you worked here — you almost went mad. you fell in love with him and he never saw you.

.

you had to do something about it.

.

you absentmindedly entered the elevator, not realizing that a tall, looming presence was standing at the end of it – busying himself with his phone. when the doors closed with just the two of you in it, you grabbed the opportunity. you pressed the emergency stop button midway and turned to the shocked man beside you. “what the hell?-“ he started “what the hell is wrong with you? you and i know that i did goddamn well in that presentation, just like you wanted. so what is this now? why are you avoiding me? pretending that i don’t exist? all i’m asking is for us to be civil-“

you couldn’t finish the sentence as you were slammed against the wall, hands cradling your face, lush lips on your own. your squeal was muffled as he gently nibbled on your lower lip, begging for a reaction. your eyes were wide, mind foggy with the way he was kissing you. he could sense your stillness –pulling back ready to apologize “i’m-i..” it was your turn to crash on him. you wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting to close any gaps between your bodies. you pulled at his jet black hair, earning a groan in return. unfortunately running out of air, you had to break the kiss and breathe.

you turned your face to the side, breathing softly, confusion settling in. “i’m sorry” your heart dropped, wanting to be anywhere but in this elevator. “i’m sorry for not realizing how in love i am with you, and how horrible i treated you in return.” you snapped your head so fast you swear you could’ve heard a crack. his eyes was already set on yours, glistening under the fluorescent light. “it all made sense to me during that presentation. you were confident, alluring, and when you set your eyes on me i….” he dipped his head to rest it onto your shoulder. “my feelings crashed into me like a wave, unstoppable. i couldn’t bare the thought of you looking at someone else like that…and i knew i have no right whatsoever.”

he dared to continue “do you have the slightest feelings for me? do you think that you could forgive me for being a jerk and give me a second chance?” he wrapped his arms around your waist, needing all the support he can get if you were to reject him. your heart almost leapt out of your chest from the happiness you were feeling. you almost wanted to convince yourself that this was a very good dream.

“it took you long enough, you jerk.” you nudged his shoulder “i left the first time with the determination to get over you…” soohyuk felt his heart drop. he let his arms come back to his side, standing up again. you looked at his pained expression taking over. “but it went right out the window the second time i came here — the first time i saw you again.” you sighed and reached over to caress his face, feeling his soft skin under your touch. he brought your hand towards his mouth, and kissed the palm of your hand. “you have a lot of making up to do, soohyuk.” you shivered at his touch.

“i promise to make up for all the lost time, (y/n)” he smiled as he slowly came closer, “i think maintenance will come if we don’t get this elevator moving again.” you tried to reason, giggling as his hands cupped your face. “one more kiss won’t hurt..” your giggles were muffled as he kissed you again.

her lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against my own.  I could feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath my nose, fingers running through her soft hair as we breathed each other in. in the end, it was her my heart was searching for.

“You know what I mean. Your father trusted me to protect you.”

You lift an eyebrow to that, amused. Men. “Did you…harm me in some way? Because that's not what I remember about last night.”

He groans, a long-suffering sound of exasperation. The two of you have always played this back and forth game, but this is the first time it went too far. But then…this is the first time the two of you have been holed up in a safehouse together, riding it out until a turf war resolves between the Tarasovs and the Manikyan family.

You know John is possibly the only soldier in your father’s employ who Viggo would trust with his precious little princess. (Never mind the fact that you are now, in fact, a grown ass woman.)

You'll admit it, to yourself at least. You were scared, when John intercepted you on 5th Avenue in that gorgeous black ‘69 Mustang. You just knew something was wrong. And maybe you sought comfort from one of the few men in your life who actually makes you feel safe. 

So sue you. 

You can't actually remember a time, when you weren't at the very least a little bit in love with this man. 

“Cheeky devushka,” he grumbles, and you are secretly delighted when he rolls over you in the bed, pressing his soft lips to yours. Just for a little longer, the two of you can enjoy this for what it is in the seclusion. No work obligations or family complications. Just a man and a woman…who like each other a lot. 

“John…” you sigh as he trails down your neck, lavishing generous kisses over your breasts until your nipples are aching peaks. 

“What do you need, printsessa?” he teases, and you are learning this taciturn mountain of a man has a wicked streak, once you rub him the right way. The velvety length of his hard cock is like a brand upon the tender inside of your thigh. 

“You know,” you whine, straining for him as he holds you down. You feel him smile around your nipple before flicking it with his clever tongue. Evil man. 

“I like to hear you say it.” 

“I need you.”       

The magic words to make your darkest wishes come true. With a roll of hips he is inside you, stuffing you full, and your satisfied groan would be embarrassing if you had any brain function left to your name. As it is, you are happy to press your lips to his, running your hands over his broad tattooed shoulders as he fucks you one more glorious time into the bed.