k i o ° v a n

dump side blog #2, hence, sporadic activity.

° Adult (MDNI). Cisfemale . Masc/GNC . Eng/jp .

° Unlabeled orientation - a bit of a hassle to explain .

° My posts can very well be taken (queer)platonically .

But yay! I'm first anon.

~ 💌

There's just something nonhuman about you. Maybe it's the way you plague my thoughts like a curse, and haunt my dreams like a ghost I can't exorcise. Maybe it's how red wine stains your lips, as though it was always meant to be that way, and I should offer up my own blood to sustain it. Maybe it's how your voice lulls me to drown in a depth I would never go on my own. Maybe it's how mere images of you feel like sacred paintings - one look and I'm filled with the kind of steadiness no one can explain. Maybe it's how your words stay like testaments inscribed on my soul. There's just something nonhuman about you. A secret you haven't told. A secret I discovered solely on my own.

I want to be reminded of you in the most mundane of things. I want the warmth of the sun to remind me of your touch, and the cold rain to remind me of your tears. I want the flowers to remind me of the beauty of your smile, and thorns, your anger. I want the moon to remind me of your very essence, and the stars - your eyes when they gaze at me. I want the sound of my feet hitting the ground reminiscent of how you walk by my side, while the breeze, a reminder of your wistful sighs that grazes my neck every now and then. Oh, my dear, I want the whole world to be a memory of you.

When your love language is so deeply acts of service, that it feels like the only reason you want to be in a relationship is to do stuff for your partner. Because yes, doing everything & more for you is one of the reasons I exist.

I trace your name in the stars every night.

I'm touch averse and heavily dislike skinship, but I just know it would be a different story with my partner. I can tell I'd have the constant urge to feel their skin beneath my fingers - or just the sense of oneness that comes from body contact. Sort of like a mental/physical anchor. Absent-mindedly playing around with their hands/hair, frequent cuddles, resting/laying on each other, waist hugs, etc. Not as a delibrate show of affection, but something natural, like drinking water when thirsty. Honestly, I think it'd overwhelm them; as they'll basically have to deal with all the physical contact I've bottled and deprived myself of others. Alas, I doubt I'd be able to control it.

Can we rot together. Buried in the same coffin because one cannot exist without the other; our rings still on our fingers even as flesh dissolves, leaving nothing but bones.

I just want to listen to you. I want to listen to you talk about your day, I want to listen to you go about your day. I want to listen to you eat, I want to listen to you sleep, I want to listen to you laugh, I want to listen to you cry. I want to listen to the sound of your heartbeat. The sound of your footsteps. Your breathing. I just want to listen to you. Will you let me? Pretty pls?

On the one hand, I want the world to make you happy like you deserve. On the other hand, I want the world to unfairly treat you like shit, so I can comfort you and give you happiness myself.

Sorry, I know that's bad. I'll work on it.

Sigh. I have a golden cage but no Canary.

'I miss my bf' ... ??? You don't even know who I am yet, so what are you talking about?Why is that sentence coming from you.