Lani's 𓆩♡𓆪 Diary

A question to all my Black girls

From doing our hair to managing our love life, the troubling tale of the average Black women seems to be defined by a necessary element of pain. As I was attempting to detangle my mess of curls , I pondered on how many times I would brace myself for the incoming sharp tang of pain that would occur. It seems that the simple act of washing hair was more painful than our counterparts. This thought trickled down into other issues that seep into the day to day life of most Black woman, especially those who live in predominately white spaces. Our hurt is accepted as normal whilst white woman tears can convict innocent people as guilty.

Delving into our love life, many white people view dating Black women as exotic, as if we are strange animals that ponder this world in states of anger. On top of that, to be Black seems to be synonymous with the bottom of our accepted attractive pyramid. Back handed compliments like, "You're pretty for a black girl" and "I like it when you wear your hair like that" when straightened echoes throughout our life. It seems like I am always conscious of the fact I am black and although I carry the history of my ancestors with pride, I often feel like the world around me is trying to act like its a bad thing.

This is seen most when I wear my natural hair. This summer, I chose to cut my locs off to try new hairstyles and learn to do my hair. I absolutely adored my tiny fro, and felt beautiful. This was NOT take to well by my peers. Many people would make fun of my short curly hair and said comments describing me as looking like a little boy/kid. As hurt as I was, I was more disgusted by the wave of anti-blackness I received, specifically because I live in a predominately black/latino community.

Combining racism with the pressures of being a woman created a unique intersection of existence. Who I am, the value that is placed on my forehead, the empathy that I receive from the world is entirely dependent on how submissive I choose to be to this flawed system. So again, I ask the question, why is it so painful to be a Black woman? Is it something that God intentionally burdened on his daughters, or a result of a system built against us? And if so why should we still continue to serve it?

I WANT MY F*CKING X READER

The Swan (1915)