.. ̥✿‧◌̺̺͙ ͟ ू kiku ⠀ ❀.
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊22. she/her. poc. sagittarius. lover of the arts. grad student. michael jackson only
taglist. masterlist. request info
Mike Driver

roma★

Love Begins
YOU ARE THE REASON

shark vs the universe
trying on a metaphor

ellievsbear

Andulka
taylor price
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Noah Kahan
Game of Thrones Daily

titsay
Xuebing Du
almost home
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵

PR's Tumblrdome

JVL

seen from Fiji
seen from Canada
seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Venezuela
seen from Tunisia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from Serbia
seen from Angola

seen from Türkiye
@luvingkiku
.. ̥✿‧◌̺̺͙ ͟ ू kiku ⠀ ❀.
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊22. she/her. poc. sagittarius. lover of the arts. grad student. michael jackson only
taglist. masterlist. request info

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hi!!! i absolutely adore ur writing! i was wondering if i could request an mj fic (any era) where the reader gets hurt in some way while michael is away on tour and he finds out about whatever happened to the reader (maybe car accident or something that the tabloids are reporting) and cannot reach the reader and is all worried and that. kinda just like an angsty worried and protective michael with a happy ending. thanks so much for taking the time to read this request, even if you don’t end up writing it :). i really love ur writing and can’t wait to read more. thanks again! :))
still here
synopsis — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : when michael learns you’ve been hospitalized after a serious car accident while he’s overseas on tour, he races home desperate to see you. with fear, uncertainty, and miles between you, all he can do is hope he isn’t too late.
themes — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : hurt/comfort, hospital reunion, fear of loss, happy ending
wc — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : 4,165
wanna see more? here’s my masterlist! ݁ ˖Ი𐑼ֶָ֢
request = open 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯
the encore had barely ended when michael was already scanning the backstage corridor for the nearest phone. the roar of the crowd still there, but he barely noticed it. michael was thinking only of home, of you, of the call he always made after a show.one of the dancers caught up beside him and slapped a hand lightly against his shoulder.
“good show.”
michael gave a tired smile. “you say that every night.”
“’cause every night you outdo yourself.” he shook his head, but his attention was already drifting away. “wish she could’ve seen it.”
“you’ll be home before you know it.”
he hoped so.
michael slipped into his dressing room and closed the door behind him. flowers lined one wall, gifts from fans sat stacked on a table, and costume jackets hung from a rack. michael dropped onto the couch with a tired sigh and reached for the phone. his fingers had just started dialing your number when someone knocked.
three quick taps that sounded impatient.
he frowned toward the door. “come in.”
the door opened slowly.
it was bill.
normally, michael would have expected him to step inside already talking about tomorrow’s schedule or security. instead, bill just stood there in the doorway, holding a folded newspaper in one hand. his face had gone pale. something in the room shifted the moment michael saw him.
“mike…”
michael lowered the phone at once. “what is it?”
bill didn’t answer right away. he crossed the room and placed the newspaper on the coffee table between them.
“i don’t know how accurate it is.”
michael’s eyes dropped to the front page. then the room seemed to fall away around him.
michael jackson’s longtime girlfriend hospitalized after devastating car crash!
for a second, the words refused to make sense. his mind tried and failed to arrange them into something less terrible. his throat locked, and a cold rush swept through his chest and down his arms. his fingers went numb around the phone.
he read the headline again and again.
his eyes raced down the article.
late this afternoon, multiple injuries, transported by ambulance, sources say condition unknown, hospital officials declined to comment, witnesses described the scene as catastrophic, friends reportedly gathered at the hospital. the words on the page seemed to jump and his mouth went dry so fast it hurt to swallow.
“no…”
he grabbed the paper with both hands, the pages crinkling under his grip. there had to be another line, another page, a correction. something. anything that would stop the panic from climbing higher, faster, choking him from the inside. instead, every paragraph seemed to undo the one before it.
one claimed you were stable, another said you were fighting for your life, one insisted you’d spoken to paramedics, another quoted an unnamed witness who believed you’d been unconscious the entire time.
none of it fit together, and none of it answered the only question that mattered.
were you alive?
“where did this come from?”
his voice sounded strange to him, thin and scraped raw, like it had been dragged over gravel.
“a british tabloid,” bill said carefully. “security brought it up a few minutes ago.”
“it’s wrong.” michael shook his head at once, the motion sharp and desperate. “it has to be.”
bill didn’t say anything. that silence landed heavier than the article itself. his hands were already moving before he had finished thinking. he snatched the phone back up and dialed your apartment.
no answer.
he tried again, faster this time, then your office, then hayvenhurst, his fingers slipping on the buttons as if they no longer belonged to him. each ring stretched longer than the last. each voicemail, each dead line, each unanswered call made the room feel smaller.
“try the hospital.” bill said quietly.
michael nodded, though his breathing had already gone shallow. he called the number listed in the article, then another, then the operator when he couldn’t get through. his voice broke on the first question.
“please. i just need to know if she’s there.”
“i’m sorry, sir.”
click and then the line went dead.
he stared at the receiver for a long moment before lowering it slowly. the room had gone so quiet. he looked back at the newspaper lying open across the coffee table.
the picture wasn’t even of you, it was your car. or what was left of it.
glass scattered across wet pavement. the front end crushed inward. one headlight hanging at an angle. flashing ambulance lights frozen in the photograph like a warning that had arrived too late. his chest tightened so violently it felt as if the air had been punched out of him.
all he could picture was you inside it.
alone, hurt, calling for him.
while he stood on a stage six thousand miles away beneath bright lights and applause that suddenly seemed to belong to another life.
for the first time in years, michael jackson sat frozen with the receiver still in his hand, listening to the dead hum of the line while the newspaper lay open on the table. the photograph of the wreck kept flashing behind his eyes. the crushed metal, the shattered glass, and all he could think was that somewhere inside that ruin was the only person he wanted to reach, and he could not even tell if you were alive to hear him. he had never felt so helpless.
he didn’t remember standing. one moment he was staring at the newspaper, the next, he was pacing the dressing room in sharp, restless cuts, one hand knotted in his curls, the other crushing the receiver until the plastic creaked in his grip.
“call again.”
bill looked up.
“michael—”
“call again.”
the words came out ragged.
“call every hospital in los angeles if you have to.”
bill nodded at once, already reaching for another phone. within minutes the room was alive with motion and noise. security was calling hospitals, management was trying your friends, someone was reaching for the police department. everyone was moving, talking, promising.
everyone except michael.
he couldn’t get enough air, couldn’t make his mouth form anything useful, and every awful possibility was already shouting in his head.
he stopped long enough to look at the newspaper again, but he wished he hadn’t. the photograph turned his stomach. he remembered handing you those car keys months earlier, laughing when you’d laughed about finally replacing your old one. now there was only wreckage and broken light and the sickening shape of something that had once been yours.
his grip tightened until his fingers ached.
“we found the hospital.” michael’s head snapped up. bill had one hand over the receiver.
“they won’t tell us anything.”
“give me the phone.” bill hesitated.
“michael…”
“bill.”
he crossed the room in three quick strides and took the receiver before anyone could stop him.
“please.” the word came out thin, stripped bare by fear.
“my name is michael jackson.”
the woman on the other end stayed polite, which somehow made it worse.
“i’m sorry, sir. i can’t confirm or deny whether a patient is here.”
“please.” he shut his eyes. his throat burned.
“i’m in europe.”
his breath caught.
“i… i just finished a show.” the sentence broke apart in his mouth, useless and trembling.
“i just need to know if she’s alive.”
there was silence on the line. for one impossible second, he thought she might tell him, but instead “i’m very sorry.” escaped her lips.
click.
the dial tone returned, flat and merciless.
michael slowly lowered the receiver. the room seemed to tilt around him, the floor sliding beneath his feet. bill caught his arm before his knees could fold.
“sit down.”
he didn’t argue. he sank onto the couch, elbows on his knees, both hands covering his face. his thoughts would not slow down. what if you’d been asking for him? what if you’d woken up scared and alone and kept calling his name? what if you’d been in pain and he hadn’t been there to hear it? what if you hadn’t woken up at all?
he pressed harder against his eyes until stars burst behind the lids. michael tried not to think of negatively, but the images kept coming anyway.
the dressing room door opened again. this time it was frank. he looked from bill to michael, and whatever he saw changed his face at once.
“what happened?”
bill quietly handed him the newspaper.
frank read the headline and his mouth tightened.
“…jesus.” michael looked up.
“i’m leaving.”
bill exchanged a glance with frank.
“the plane isn’t ready until tomorrow.”
“then i’ll take another one.”
“there isn’t another one.”
“charter one.”
“the weather’s grounded everything.”
the word hit harder than he expected.
grounded. he couldn’t even get on a plane. he was trapped, thousands of miles away while you were somewhere in a hospital bed and he had no way to reach you. the helplessness of it turned his stomach.
he let out a breath that shook all the way through him.
“i can’t stay here.”
his voice was barely there.
“she needs me.”
bill crouched in front of him.
“and you’ll get to her.”
“when?”
bill didn’t answer because he didn’t know. no one did.
hours passed without meaning.
the dressing room emptied. every few minutes he dialed your apartment again. your answering machine, your office, your friends. nothing. each unanswered ring scraped away another layer of patience, another layer of hope, until all that was left was raw, trembling dread.
as dawn began creeping through the hotel windows, exhaustion settled into his bones, but sleep never came. he sat with the newspaper folded beside him, unable to look at it and unable to throw it away, as if letting it go would make the whole thing real in a way he couldn’t survive.
then the phone rang.
every head in the room turned, and bill answered first.
“…hello?”
michael was already on his feet rushing over.
bill listened for several long seconds. his expression shifted. not panic, not relief, something caught between the two, as if he was afraid to hope too quickly and afraid not to hope at all.
he covered the receiver.
“it’s one of the nurses.” michael crossed the room immediately that he nearly knocked the chair over.
“is she okay?”
bill handed him the phone without another word. his pulse hammered so hard he could barely hear the line. his hand was shaking so badly the receiver felt slick and warm against his palm.
“hello?”
“mr. jackson?”
“yes.”
another pause. then the words he’d been waiting to hear all night.
“she’s alive.”
his knees nearly gave out. he grabbed the edge of the table to steady himself, fingers whitening against the wood.
alive.
the word kept striking through him, over and over, until it hurt. the nurse continued gently.
“she’s stable.”
he closed his eyes, tears spilling before he could stop them.
stable. alive. breathing. somewhere, impossibly, you were still here.
the air rushed back into his lungs all at once, sharp and almost painful after the suffocating hours before.
“can i talk to her?”
his voice came out barely above a whisper.
another pause.
“…i’m sorry.”
his chest tightened again, but this time it was different—not the blind terror from before, something softer, aching, but bearable in the way a wound is bearable only because it has not yet been touched.
“she’s still asleep.”
the nurse explained that you’d suffered a concussion, a broken wrist, several cracked ribs, and countless cuts and bruises. you’d undergone surgery overnight, and the medication was keeping you asleep. they expected a full recovery, but you wouldn’t be going home for several days. michael listened to every word without interrupting.
every injury made something in him pull tighter. every bruise felt like a blow he should have taken instead. but every sentence ended the same way.
you were going to be okay.
when the call ended, he stayed where he was, the receiver still pressed to his ear as if he could keep your voice there by refusing to let go.the room around him came back in pieces.
bill stepped closer.
“mike?”
michael looked at him through tear-filled eyes. the smallest, unsteady smile touched his mouth, fragile as glass.
“she’s alive.”
the words broke something open in him and let the air back in. for the first time in nearly twelve hours, the fear loosened its grip enough for him to stand, and beneath the tears and exhaustion there was only one thought left, fierce and certain: he was going home to her.
the flight home felt endless. michael had never hated time the way he did now. every minute the plane stayed in the air felt like punishment, like the universe had decided to stretch the distance between you and him. his knee bounced hard, and he kept staring at the seatback in front of him, then out the window, then at the tiny screen showing the flight path crawling across the map. none of it helped. he tried to read the same paragraph over and over until the words blurred. he tried to close his eyes, but all he saw was flashing lights, twisted metal, the headline he’d read with shaking hands in the airport lounge. even music couldn’t drown out the thought pounding in his skull.
you were in a hospital bed.
you were hurt.
you were alone.
the nurse’s voice from the phone call kept replaying in his head, soft and careful and far too calm for the words she was saying.
she’s stable.
stable.
he repeated it until it stopped sounding real. every so often he pulled the small piece of paper from his jacket pocket, the one with the hospital’s address written on it. he checked it like it might vanish if he didn’t. the numbers were still there, the hospital was still there, and you were still there. it was the only thing keeping him together before the plane even landed.
the second the wheels hit the runway in los angeles, he was already unbuckling his seatbelt.
security tried to keep photographers back as he hurried through the airport, head down, jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. his throat felt raw, as if he’d been swallowing panic for hours.
questions followed him everywhere.
“michael, is it true?”
“how is she doing?”
“have you spoken to her?”
“is she awake?”
he didn’t answer.
if he opened his mouth, he was afraid something broken would come out instead. the drive to the hospital passed in a blur of traffic lights and familiar streets that suddenly looked wrong. los angeles had never felt so large.
he kept looking out the window, but he wasn’t really seeing anything. billboards, palm trees, storefronts—all of it smeared together into one long stretch of distance. the car’s air conditioning blew cold against his face, but his skin still felt hot.
when the car finally pulled beneath the emergency entrance, he was out before it had fully stopped.
the smell of antiseptic hit him the moment the sliding doors opened, bright white lights, quiet voices.
everything felt painfully ordinary, as though the worst night of his life had happened inside a place that hadn’t stopped moving for a second.
he gave your name at the front desk and the receptionist recognized him immediately, but to her credit, she didn’t say anything about it. no startled gasp. no pitying look. just a gentle smile that made his chest ache even more.
“third floor.”
he thanked her so quickly the words nearly ran together.
his reflection stared back at him in the mirrored doors. he looked wrecked. his eyes were bloodshot and hollow. there was a shadow of stubble along his jaw. his shirt was wrinkled from hours of sitting still and failing to do it gracefully. he barely recognized himself.
for a second, he looked like someone who had been dragged through grief and left standing anyway.
the doors slid open.
room 318.
he stopped outside the door.
for the first time since reading the newspaper, he was afraid to go inside. before this, he had only had fragments—a headline, a phone call, a voice telling him you were alive. now there would be proof. now there would be the sight of you, and he didn’t know if that would save him or destroy him. he rested one hand against the doorframe and took a slow breath.
then he pushed the door open.
you were asleep. the room was quiet except for the steady rhythm of the heart monitor beside your bed. a cast covered your wrist. small white bandages crossed your forehead. bruises colored the side of your face and disappeared beneath the collar of the hospital gown. one of your hands rested limp against the blanket, fingers slightly curled.
you looked smaller somehow, fragile.
like the world had taken something from you and left behind only the outline. his breath caught so sharply it hurt.
the newspaper had prepared him for the worst. seeing you alive somehow hurt even more, because now he could see everything you’d been through. every bruise. every bandage. every inch of pain he hadn’t been there to stop.
he crossed the room carefully and lowered himself into the chair beside you. his fingers hovered over yours for a second before gently slipping around your uninjured hand.
his shoulders finally loosened, just enough for the tears to come. they slipped down his face without warning, silent and steady. he bowed his head over your hand, pressing it gently against his forehead like he was trying to apologize to your skin for every mile that had separated him from you.
“i’m so sorry…”
the words were barely audible.
“i should’ve been here.”
his thumb brushed lightly across your knuckles.
“they told me you were alive…”
his voice broke on the last word.
“…but i don’t think i believed it until now.”
hours seemed to pass. the light in the room shifted slowly from pale morning to a softer afternoon glow. nurses came and went quietly, checking monitors and changing medications, speaking in low voices that made the room feel even more fragile. one offered him coffee. he thanked her, but never touched it. the cup sat untouched on the side table while he stayed exactly where he was, still holding your hand like letting go would make you vanish again.
late that afternoon, you stirred.
it was small at first—a shift beneath the blanket, a faint tightening around your mouth. then your eyebrows pulled together slightly before your eyes blinked open.
“…michael?”
your voice came out rough and thin, like it had to fight its way past pain to reach him. he looked up so quickly the chair nearly tipped backward. a smile broke across his face before another wave of tears replaced it.
“hey…”
he laughed shakily, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand like he was embarrassed to be caught crying and unable to stop.
“hi.”
you frowned a little, still trying to focus.
“you’re crying.”
he let out another breathless laugh that sounded more like a sob trying to disguise itself.
“yeah.”
his voice cracked immediately.
“yeah, i am.”
you tried to squeeze his hand, but the movement made you wince. he noticed at once, every muscle in him going rigid.
“don’t.”
he leaned forward, panic flashing across his face.
“don’t move too much.”
his eyes searched every bruise, every bandage, every inch of your face as though making sure you were still there. you watched him quietly, your expression softening even through the pain.
“how long have you been here?”
“a few hours.”
“you should’ve slept.”
he smiled faintly, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“i’ll sleep later.”
there was a long silence, full of everything neither of you knew how to say yet. then you noticed the clothes he was wearing.
“you came straight from the airport.”
“straight here.”
his thumb moved in slow circles over your skin, the motion more for him than for you.
“they said…”
he swallowed hard.
“…they said the crash was bad.”
you nodded once.
“it was.”
his jaw tightened so suddenly it looked painful.
“the papers said you were…”
he couldn’t finish. the fear of it still sat too close to the surface, sharp and ugly and impossible to touch directly.
you reached over with your free hand as far as your ribs would allow. your fingertips brushed his wrist.
“i’m okay.”
that was all it took.
every bit of composure he’d managed to hold onto since leaving europe disappeared at once. he bent forward carefully until his forehead rested against the edge of the mattress beside your hand. his shoulders shook with quiet sobs.
you’d never seen him cry like this, not after award shows, not after difficult rehearsals, not after losing sleep for weeks and pretending he was fine anyway.
this was different.
this was fear finally finding somewhere to go.
you gently ran your fingers through his curls, slowly, carefully, like he might shatter if you moved too fast.
“hey.”
you whispered.
he shook his head, still pressed against the bed.
“i thought…”
another shaky breath.
“i thought i lost you.”
your chest tightened so hard it almost hurt to breathe.
“michael…”
he looked up.
his eyes were red and swollen, his lashes damp. there was something raw in his face you had never seen before, stripped bare by terror and exhaustion.
“i kept calling.”
he laughed softly through his tears, but the sound was wrecked.
“your apartment. your office. every hospital. i couldn’t get anybody to tell me anything.”
he swallowed hard.
“i have never been so scared in my life.”
you squeezed his hand again. this time he squeezed back immediately. a nurse stepped into the room, smiling when she saw you awake.
“looks like someone’s feeling better.”
you managed a small smile.
“a little.”
she checked your chart before looking at michael, then at the way he was still holding your hand like it was the only thing anchoring him to the floor.
“she’s going to be just fine.”
he nodded, unable to speak.
the nurse quietly excused herself, and after she left, michael looked back at you, his expression still tight with emotion.
“the tour can wait.”
you blinked.
“what?”
“i’m staying.”
“michael…”
“i don’t care what anybody says.”
his voice was gentle, but there was steel underneath it now, something steadier than panic and just as strong.
“i’m not leaving again until you’re home.”
you knew how much those words cost.
concerts had been scheduled for months. thousands of people were waiting. contracts. promoters. television appearances. people who would call this irresponsible, dramatic, impossible. for years, the tour had been his whole world. now he looked at you like nothing else existed. like the rest of the world could burn down and he’d still choose this room if it meant you were breathing in it.
a few days later, he helped you through the front door of your house.
one arm stayed carefully around your waist while the other carried the overnight bag the nurses had insisted you take. he moved at your pace, slow and patient, checking your face every few steps.
“you okay?”
you laughed softly, though it came out tired.
“you’ve asked me that five times.”
he smiled sheepishly, but there was still worry in his eyes.
“i know.”
“i’m okay.”
“you sure?”
you laughed again, a little more this time.
“yes.”
he unlocked the door and followed you inside. everything looked exactly the way you’d left it. your favorite blanket still draped across the couch. a half-finished book on the coffee table. a mug still sitting beside the sink.
life had paused.
but it hadn’t forgotten you.
michael stood in the doorway for a moment, taking it in like he was afraid to breathe too hard and break the spell. then he pulled the folded newspaper from his jacket pocket.
the same one that had made the world stop. he looked at it once, jaw tight, then carried it into the kitchen and dropped it into the trash.
the sound was small and final.
when he came back, you were watching him.
“i’m done letting them tell me what happened to you.” he said softly.
“from now on, i only want the truth from the person who lived it.”
you smiled, tired but real.
“deal.”
he leaned down and kissed your forehead, lingering there like he was learning the shape of home all over again.
outside, the city kept moving. reporters would keep waiting. phones would keep ringing. the tour would start again, eventually. the world would ask for pieces of him. but in the quiet of your house, none of that could reach you. tonight, the only thing that mattered was the warmth of your hand in his. for the first time in days, home was no longer something he had to find. home was the sound of you breathing beside him.
tag list — @eggywritezstuff @arood98 @antisspiderguy @osugahunnyicedtea @cunty000 @mjlover0829 @animegamerfox @living-ghostgrl @dollyvuu @cherubae111 @pupperonilover-blog @babygguk98 @mile3na @callmelyriic @queenofklonnie22 @sebbysbaby @helalokithor @unknwnbrii @ssexsellls @spiirituall @luvs4harrington @yennabow @saysaysaymjenthusiast @equityjinx @anothergoldenratio @ooooglymoooogly @artflooo @petitedollnina @pinkieghouls @michaelsgirlie @khxna @anglfac @erynnnn @ange1fce @smoothcriminalgf @watermielonnn @chocotragedy @saiyajvn @lauren7050 @tenderlyboundlessparagon @kiwimeow0-o @applehead-angelface @michaelsbabymother @raefoxiegirl @softformj @offthebrina @appleheadannie @lustfairyy @strawberryswirlsworld @marley1773
tag list part 2 — @swavydadon @nunusmoll @likewf @4ppl3h34d @softchaosdiary505 @ovohanna24 @michaelssgirll
hi!!! i absolutely adore ur writing! i was wondering if i could request an mj fic (any era) where the reader gets hurt in some way while michael is away on tour and he finds out about whatever happened to the reader (maybe car accident or something that the tabloids are reporting) and cannot reach the reader and is all worried and that. kinda just like an angsty worried and protective michael with a happy ending. thanks so much for taking the time to read this request, even if you don’t end up writing it :). i really love ur writing and can’t wait to read more. thanks again! :))
still here
synopsis — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : when michael learns you’ve been hospitalized after a serious car accident while he’s overseas on tour, he races home desperate to see you. with fear, uncertainty, and miles between you, all he can do is hope he isn’t too late.
themes — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : hurt/comfort, hospital reunion, fear of loss, happy ending
wc — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : 4,165
wanna see more? here’s my masterlist! ݁ ˖Ი𐑼ֶָ֢
request = open 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯
the encore had barely ended when michael was already scanning the backstage corridor for the nearest phone. the roar of the crowd still there, but he barely noticed it. michael was thinking only of home, of you, of the call he always made after a show.one of the dancers caught up beside him and slapped a hand lightly against his shoulder.
“good show.”
michael gave a tired smile. “you say that every night.”
“’cause every night you outdo yourself.” he shook his head, but his attention was already drifting away. “wish she could’ve seen it.”
“you’ll be home before you know it.”
he hoped so.
michael slipped into his dressing room and closed the door behind him. flowers lined one wall, gifts from fans sat stacked on a table, and costume jackets hung from a rack. michael dropped onto the couch with a tired sigh and reached for the phone. his fingers had just started dialing your number when someone knocked.
three quick taps that sounded impatient.
he frowned toward the door. “come in.”
the door opened slowly.
it was bill.
normally, michael would have expected him to step inside already talking about tomorrow’s schedule or security. instead, bill just stood there in the doorway, holding a folded newspaper in one hand. his face had gone pale. something in the room shifted the moment michael saw him.
“mike…”
michael lowered the phone at once. “what is it?”
bill didn’t answer right away. he crossed the room and placed the newspaper on the coffee table between them.
“i don’t know how accurate it is.”
michael’s eyes dropped to the front page. then the room seemed to fall away around him.
michael jackson’s longtime girlfriend hospitalized after devastating car crash!
for a second, the words refused to make sense. his mind tried and failed to arrange them into something less terrible. his throat locked, and a cold rush swept through his chest and down his arms. his fingers went numb around the phone.
he read the headline again and again.
his eyes raced down the article.
late this afternoon, multiple injuries, transported by ambulance, sources say condition unknown, hospital officials declined to comment, witnesses described the scene as catastrophic, friends reportedly gathered at the hospital. the words on the page seemed to jump and his mouth went dry so fast it hurt to swallow.
“no…”
he grabbed the paper with both hands, the pages crinkling under his grip. there had to be another line, another page, a correction. something. anything that would stop the panic from climbing higher, faster, choking him from the inside. instead, every paragraph seemed to undo the one before it.
one claimed you were stable, another said you were fighting for your life, one insisted you’d spoken to paramedics, another quoted an unnamed witness who believed you’d been unconscious the entire time.
none of it fit together, and none of it answered the only question that mattered.
were you alive?
“where did this come from?”
his voice sounded strange to him, thin and scraped raw, like it had been dragged over gravel.
“a british tabloid,” bill said carefully. “security brought it up a few minutes ago.”
“it’s wrong.” michael shook his head at once, the motion sharp and desperate. “it has to be.”
bill didn’t say anything. that silence landed heavier than the article itself. his hands were already moving before he had finished thinking. he snatched the phone back up and dialed your apartment.
no answer.
he tried again, faster this time, then your office, then hayvenhurst, his fingers slipping on the buttons as if they no longer belonged to him. each ring stretched longer than the last. each voicemail, each dead line, each unanswered call made the room feel smaller.
“try the hospital.” bill said quietly.
michael nodded, though his breathing had already gone shallow. he called the number listed in the article, then another, then the operator when he couldn’t get through. his voice broke on the first question.
“please. i just need to know if she’s there.”
“i’m sorry, sir.”
click and then the line went dead.
he stared at the receiver for a long moment before lowering it slowly. the room had gone so quiet. he looked back at the newspaper lying open across the coffee table.
the picture wasn’t even of you, it was your car. or what was left of it.
glass scattered across wet pavement. the front end crushed inward. one headlight hanging at an angle. flashing ambulance lights frozen in the photograph like a warning that had arrived too late. his chest tightened so violently it felt as if the air had been punched out of him.
all he could picture was you inside it.
alone, hurt, calling for him.
while he stood on a stage six thousand miles away beneath bright lights and applause that suddenly seemed to belong to another life.
for the first time in years, michael jackson sat frozen with the receiver still in his hand, listening to the dead hum of the line while the newspaper lay open on the table. the photograph of the wreck kept flashing behind his eyes. the crushed metal, the shattered glass, and all he could think was that somewhere inside that ruin was the only person he wanted to reach, and he could not even tell if you were alive to hear him. he had never felt so helpless.
he didn’t remember standing. one moment he was staring at the newspaper, the next, he was pacing the dressing room in sharp, restless cuts, one hand knotted in his curls, the other crushing the receiver until the plastic creaked in his grip.
“call again.”
bill looked up.
“michael—”
“call again.”
the words came out ragged.
“call every hospital in los angeles if you have to.”
bill nodded at once, already reaching for another phone. within minutes the room was alive with motion and noise. security was calling hospitals, management was trying your friends, someone was reaching for the police department. everyone was moving, talking, promising.
everyone except michael.
he couldn’t get enough air, couldn’t make his mouth form anything useful, and every awful possibility was already shouting in his head.
he stopped long enough to look at the newspaper again, but he wished he hadn’t. the photograph turned his stomach. he remembered handing you those car keys months earlier, laughing when you’d laughed about finally replacing your old one. now there was only wreckage and broken light and the sickening shape of something that had once been yours.
his grip tightened until his fingers ached.
“we found the hospital.” michael’s head snapped up. bill had one hand over the receiver.
“they won’t tell us anything.”
“give me the phone.” bill hesitated.
“michael…”
“bill.”
he crossed the room in three quick strides and took the receiver before anyone could stop him.
“please.” the word came out thin, stripped bare by fear.
“my name is michael jackson.”
the woman on the other end stayed polite, which somehow made it worse.
“i’m sorry, sir. i can’t confirm or deny whether a patient is here.”
“please.” he shut his eyes. his throat burned.
“i’m in europe.”
his breath caught.
“i… i just finished a show.” the sentence broke apart in his mouth, useless and trembling.
“i just need to know if she’s alive.”
there was silence on the line. for one impossible second, he thought she might tell him, but instead “i’m very sorry.” escaped her lips.
click.
the dial tone returned, flat and merciless.
michael slowly lowered the receiver. the room seemed to tilt around him, the floor sliding beneath his feet. bill caught his arm before his knees could fold.
“sit down.”
he didn’t argue. he sank onto the couch, elbows on his knees, both hands covering his face. his thoughts would not slow down. what if you’d been asking for him? what if you’d woken up scared and alone and kept calling his name? what if you’d been in pain and he hadn’t been there to hear it? what if you hadn’t woken up at all?
he pressed harder against his eyes until stars burst behind the lids. michael tried not to think of negatively, but the images kept coming anyway.
the dressing room door opened again. this time it was frank. he looked from bill to michael, and whatever he saw changed his face at once.
“what happened?”
bill quietly handed him the newspaper.
frank read the headline and his mouth tightened.
“…jesus.” michael looked up.
“i’m leaving.”
bill exchanged a glance with frank.
“the plane isn’t ready until tomorrow.”
“then i’ll take another one.”
“there isn’t another one.”
“charter one.”
“the weather’s grounded everything.”
the word hit harder than he expected.
grounded. he couldn’t even get on a plane. he was trapped, thousands of miles away while you were somewhere in a hospital bed and he had no way to reach you. the helplessness of it turned his stomach.
he let out a breath that shook all the way through him.
“i can’t stay here.”
his voice was barely there.
“she needs me.”
bill crouched in front of him.
“and you’ll get to her.”
“when?”
bill didn’t answer because he didn’t know. no one did.
hours passed without meaning.
the dressing room emptied. every few minutes he dialed your apartment again. your answering machine, your office, your friends. nothing. each unanswered ring scraped away another layer of patience, another layer of hope, until all that was left was raw, trembling dread.
as dawn began creeping through the hotel windows, exhaustion settled into his bones, but sleep never came. he sat with the newspaper folded beside him, unable to look at it and unable to throw it away, as if letting it go would make the whole thing real in a way he couldn’t survive.
then the phone rang.
every head in the room turned, and bill answered first.
“…hello?”
michael was already on his feet rushing over.
bill listened for several long seconds. his expression shifted. not panic, not relief, something caught between the two, as if he was afraid to hope too quickly and afraid not to hope at all.
he covered the receiver.
“it’s one of the nurses.” michael crossed the room immediately that he nearly knocked the chair over.
“is she okay?”
bill handed him the phone without another word. his pulse hammered so hard he could barely hear the line. his hand was shaking so badly the receiver felt slick and warm against his palm.
“hello?”
“mr. jackson?”
“yes.”
another pause. then the words he’d been waiting to hear all night.
“she’s alive.”
his knees nearly gave out. he grabbed the edge of the table to steady himself, fingers whitening against the wood.
alive.
the word kept striking through him, over and over, until it hurt. the nurse continued gently.
“she’s stable.”
he closed his eyes, tears spilling before he could stop them.
stable. alive. breathing. somewhere, impossibly, you were still here.
the air rushed back into his lungs all at once, sharp and almost painful after the suffocating hours before.
“can i talk to her?”
his voice came out barely above a whisper.
another pause.
“…i’m sorry.”
his chest tightened again, but this time it was different—not the blind terror from before, something softer, aching, but bearable in the way a wound is bearable only because it has not yet been touched.
“she’s still asleep.”
the nurse explained that you’d suffered a concussion, a broken wrist, several cracked ribs, and countless cuts and bruises. you’d undergone surgery overnight, and the medication was keeping you asleep. they expected a full recovery, but you wouldn’t be going home for several days. michael listened to every word without interrupting.
every injury made something in him pull tighter. every bruise felt like a blow he should have taken instead. but every sentence ended the same way.
you were going to be okay.
when the call ended, he stayed where he was, the receiver still pressed to his ear as if he could keep your voice there by refusing to let go.the room around him came back in pieces.
bill stepped closer.
“mike?”
michael looked at him through tear-filled eyes. the smallest, unsteady smile touched his mouth, fragile as glass.
“she’s alive.”
the words broke something open in him and let the air back in. for the first time in nearly twelve hours, the fear loosened its grip enough for him to stand, and beneath the tears and exhaustion there was only one thought left, fierce and certain: he was going home to her.
the flight home felt endless. michael had never hated time the way he did now. every minute the plane stayed in the air felt like punishment, like the universe had decided to stretch the distance between you and him. his knee bounced hard, and he kept staring at the seatback in front of him, then out the window, then at the tiny screen showing the flight path crawling across the map. none of it helped. he tried to read the same paragraph over and over until the words blurred. he tried to close his eyes, but all he saw was flashing lights, twisted metal, the headline he’d read with shaking hands in the airport lounge. even music couldn’t drown out the thought pounding in his skull.
you were in a hospital bed.
you were hurt.
you were alone.
the nurse’s voice from the phone call kept replaying in his head, soft and careful and far too calm for the words she was saying.
she’s stable.
stable.
he repeated it until it stopped sounding real. every so often he pulled the small piece of paper from his jacket pocket, the one with the hospital’s address written on it. he checked it like it might vanish if he didn’t. the numbers were still there, the hospital was still there, and you were still there. it was the only thing keeping him together before the plane even landed.
the second the wheels hit the runway in los angeles, he was already unbuckling his seatbelt.
security tried to keep photographers back as he hurried through the airport, head down, jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. his throat felt raw, as if he’d been swallowing panic for hours.
questions followed him everywhere.
“michael, is it true?”
“how is she doing?”
“have you spoken to her?”
“is she awake?”
he didn’t answer.
if he opened his mouth, he was afraid something broken would come out instead. the drive to the hospital passed in a blur of traffic lights and familiar streets that suddenly looked wrong. los angeles had never felt so large.
he kept looking out the window, but he wasn’t really seeing anything. billboards, palm trees, storefronts—all of it smeared together into one long stretch of distance. the car’s air conditioning blew cold against his face, but his skin still felt hot.
when the car finally pulled beneath the emergency entrance, he was out before it had fully stopped.
the smell of antiseptic hit him the moment the sliding doors opened, bright white lights, quiet voices.
everything felt painfully ordinary, as though the worst night of his life had happened inside a place that hadn’t stopped moving for a second.
he gave your name at the front desk and the receptionist recognized him immediately, but to her credit, she didn’t say anything about it. no startled gasp. no pitying look. just a gentle smile that made his chest ache even more.
“third floor.”
he thanked her so quickly the words nearly ran together.
his reflection stared back at him in the mirrored doors. he looked wrecked. his eyes were bloodshot and hollow. there was a shadow of stubble along his jaw. his shirt was wrinkled from hours of sitting still and failing to do it gracefully. he barely recognized himself.
for a second, he looked like someone who had been dragged through grief and left standing anyway.
the doors slid open.
room 318.
he stopped outside the door.
for the first time since reading the newspaper, he was afraid to go inside. before this, he had only had fragments—a headline, a phone call, a voice telling him you were alive. now there would be proof. now there would be the sight of you, and he didn’t know if that would save him or destroy him. he rested one hand against the doorframe and took a slow breath.
then he pushed the door open.
you were asleep. the room was quiet except for the steady rhythm of the heart monitor beside your bed. a cast covered your wrist. small white bandages crossed your forehead. bruises colored the side of your face and disappeared beneath the collar of the hospital gown. one of your hands rested limp against the blanket, fingers slightly curled.
you looked smaller somehow, fragile.
like the world had taken something from you and left behind only the outline. his breath caught so sharply it hurt.
the newspaper had prepared him for the worst. seeing you alive somehow hurt even more, because now he could see everything you’d been through. every bruise. every bandage. every inch of pain he hadn’t been there to stop.
he crossed the room carefully and lowered himself into the chair beside you. his fingers hovered over yours for a second before gently slipping around your uninjured hand.
his shoulders finally loosened, just enough for the tears to come. they slipped down his face without warning, silent and steady. he bowed his head over your hand, pressing it gently against his forehead like he was trying to apologize to your skin for every mile that had separated him from you.
“i’m so sorry…”
the words were barely audible.
“i should’ve been here.”
his thumb brushed lightly across your knuckles.
“they told me you were alive…”
his voice broke on the last word.
“…but i don’t think i believed it until now.”
hours seemed to pass. the light in the room shifted slowly from pale morning to a softer afternoon glow. nurses came and went quietly, checking monitors and changing medications, speaking in low voices that made the room feel even more fragile. one offered him coffee. he thanked her, but never touched it. the cup sat untouched on the side table while he stayed exactly where he was, still holding your hand like letting go would make you vanish again.
late that afternoon, you stirred.
it was small at first—a shift beneath the blanket, a faint tightening around your mouth. then your eyebrows pulled together slightly before your eyes blinked open.
“…michael?”
your voice came out rough and thin, like it had to fight its way past pain to reach him. he looked up so quickly the chair nearly tipped backward. a smile broke across his face before another wave of tears replaced it.
“hey…”
he laughed shakily, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand like he was embarrassed to be caught crying and unable to stop.
“hi.”
you frowned a little, still trying to focus.
“you’re crying.”
he let out another breathless laugh that sounded more like a sob trying to disguise itself.
“yeah.”
his voice cracked immediately.
“yeah, i am.”
you tried to squeeze his hand, but the movement made you wince. he noticed at once, every muscle in him going rigid.
“don’t.”
he leaned forward, panic flashing across his face.
“don’t move too much.”
his eyes searched every bruise, every bandage, every inch of your face as though making sure you were still there. you watched him quietly, your expression softening even through the pain.
“how long have you been here?”
“a few hours.”
“you should’ve slept.”
he smiled faintly, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“i’ll sleep later.”
there was a long silence, full of everything neither of you knew how to say yet. then you noticed the clothes he was wearing.
“you came straight from the airport.”
“straight here.”
his thumb moved in slow circles over your skin, the motion more for him than for you.
“they said…”
he swallowed hard.
“…they said the crash was bad.”
you nodded once.
“it was.”
his jaw tightened so suddenly it looked painful.
“the papers said you were…”
he couldn’t finish. the fear of it still sat too close to the surface, sharp and ugly and impossible to touch directly.
you reached over with your free hand as far as your ribs would allow. your fingertips brushed his wrist.
“i’m okay.”
that was all it took.
every bit of composure he’d managed to hold onto since leaving europe disappeared at once. he bent forward carefully until his forehead rested against the edge of the mattress beside your hand. his shoulders shook with quiet sobs.
you’d never seen him cry like this, not after award shows, not after difficult rehearsals, not after losing sleep for weeks and pretending he was fine anyway.
this was different.
this was fear finally finding somewhere to go.
you gently ran your fingers through his curls, slowly, carefully, like he might shatter if you moved too fast.
“hey.”
you whispered.
he shook his head, still pressed against the bed.
“i thought…”
another shaky breath.
“i thought i lost you.”
your chest tightened so hard it almost hurt to breathe.
“michael…”
he looked up.
his eyes were red and swollen, his lashes damp. there was something raw in his face you had never seen before, stripped bare by terror and exhaustion.
“i kept calling.”
he laughed softly through his tears, but the sound was wrecked.
“your apartment. your office. every hospital. i couldn’t get anybody to tell me anything.”
he swallowed hard.
“i have never been so scared in my life.”
you squeezed his hand again. this time he squeezed back immediately. a nurse stepped into the room, smiling when she saw you awake.
“looks like someone’s feeling better.”
you managed a small smile.
“a little.”
she checked your chart before looking at michael, then at the way he was still holding your hand like it was the only thing anchoring him to the floor.
“she’s going to be just fine.”
he nodded, unable to speak.
the nurse quietly excused herself, and after she left, michael looked back at you, his expression still tight with emotion.
“the tour can wait.”
you blinked.
“what?”
“i’m staying.”
“michael…”
“i don’t care what anybody says.”
his voice was gentle, but there was steel underneath it now, something steadier than panic and just as strong.
“i’m not leaving again until you’re home.”
you knew how much those words cost.
concerts had been scheduled for months. thousands of people were waiting. contracts. promoters. television appearances. people who would call this irresponsible, dramatic, impossible. for years, the tour had been his whole world. now he looked at you like nothing else existed. like the rest of the world could burn down and he’d still choose this room if it meant you were breathing in it.
a few days later, he helped you through the front door of your house.
one arm stayed carefully around your waist while the other carried the overnight bag the nurses had insisted you take. he moved at your pace, slow and patient, checking your face every few steps.
“you okay?”
you laughed softly, though it came out tired.
“you’ve asked me that five times.”
he smiled sheepishly, but there was still worry in his eyes.
“i know.”
“i’m okay.”
“you sure?”
you laughed again, a little more this time.
“yes.”
he unlocked the door and followed you inside. everything looked exactly the way you’d left it. your favorite blanket still draped across the couch. a half-finished book on the coffee table. a mug still sitting beside the sink.
life had paused.
but it hadn’t forgotten you.
michael stood in the doorway for a moment, taking it in like he was afraid to breathe too hard and break the spell. then he pulled the folded newspaper from his jacket pocket.
the same one that had made the world stop. he looked at it once, jaw tight, then carried it into the kitchen and dropped it into the trash.
the sound was small and final.
when he came back, you were watching him.
“i’m done letting them tell me what happened to you.” he said softly.
“from now on, i only want the truth from the person who lived it.”
you smiled, tired but real.
“deal.”
he leaned down and kissed your forehead, lingering there like he was learning the shape of home all over again.
outside, the city kept moving. reporters would keep waiting. phones would keep ringing. the tour would start again, eventually. the world would ask for pieces of him. but in the quiet of your house, none of that could reach you. tonight, the only thing that mattered was the warmth of your hand in his. for the first time in days, home was no longer something he had to find. home was the sound of you breathing beside him.
i hope i did you justice anon😔 i’m so sorry it took me a bit to write. I’ve been enjoying the hot summer weather!!
tag list — @eggywritezstuff @arood98 @antisspiderguy @osugahunnyicedtea @cunty000 @mjlover0829 @animegamerfox @living-ghostgrl @dollyvuu @cherubae111 @pupperonilover-blog @babygguk98 @mile3na @callmelyriic @queenofklonnie22 @sebbysbaby @helalokithor @unknwnbrii @ssexsellls @spiirituall @luvs4harrington @yennabow @saysaysaymjenthusiast @equityjinx @anothergoldenratio @ooooglymoooogly @artflooo @petitedollnina @pinkieghouls @michaelsgirlie @khxna @anglfac @erynnnn @ange1fce @smoothcriminalgf @watermielonnn @chocotragedy @saiyajvn @lauren7050 @tenderlyboundlessparagon @kiwimeow0-o @applehead-angelface @michaelsbabymother @raefoxiegirl @softformj @offthebrina @appleheadannie @lustfairyy @strawberryswirlsworld @marley1773 + add yourself here
birthday wish ᢉ𐭩 𝓂.jackson
18+ mdni.ᐟ ⏖ ׄ ❛ bad.era 𝑥 𝓯.rea ❜ ⧽ you share a heartfelt moment with michael as you suprise him for his birthday that turns into him showing how grateful he is for you. ꒰ model series ꒱ ⎯ 𝓌c. 3.4𝑘
content ❤︎︎ ﹕ fluffy fluff ﹐ michael gets emotional ﹐ oral : f!recieving ﹐ lots of pet name use ﹐ praising ﹐ soft dom!mike ﹐ unprotected sex (dont forget to wrap it up!!) ﹐ domestic aftercare (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) ‿◞ ྀི⊹ ׄ
it had been a long 4 months that michael had been gone touring. he had a short break before he had to leave again for the next leg of his tour. the hallway outside your apartment had never felt so unbearably quiet.
you stood just around the corner of the kitchen island, both hands carefully balancing the tiny vanilla cake you had picked up earlier that afternoon. it wasn’t elaborate by any means. just smooth white frosting, a thin red ribbon piped around the edges, and a single candle flickering softly in the dim apartment.
you checked the clock for what had to’ve been the tenth time.
11:48 p.m.
michael’s flight had landed almost an hour ago. your stomach twisted itself into impossible knots, but before you could even overthink anything else, you heard the unmistakable sound of keys jingling against the front door. your heart leapt into your throat from your off the wall nerves. the lock clicked then the door slowly pushed open.
a tired sigh escaped michael as he stepped inside the pitch dark living room, quietly shutting the door behind him before dropping his duffel bag onto the hardwood floor with a dull thud. weeks of rehearsals, interviews, airports, hotel rooms and sold-out stadiums weighed heavily on his shoulders, evident in the slow way he rubbed a hand over his face.
“…baby?” his voice echoed gently through the apartment, but he was met with silence. he frowned slightly.
“you here?”
you bit down on your smile as you lit the candle. another few careful footsteps echoed across the floor.
“hello?”
“stay there!” you called quickly, trying—and failing—to suppress the excitement in your voice.
he froze almost immediately. “…okay?” he laughed quietly, completely confused.
you took one steadying breath before carefully stepping around the corner. the tiny candle cast a warm glow across your face as you walked toward him, smiling so brightly your cheeks almost hurt.
“♪ happy birthday to you…”
michael blinked at you in disbelief. his brain currently short circuiting to the sudden surprise.
“…happy birthday to you…”
his eyes immediately fell to the little cake in your hands then back to you.
“…happy birthday, my sweet michael…”
he just stood there with a big smile on his face, suitcase forgotten by the front door, looking at you as though the entire world had stopped turning.
“…happy birthday to you.”
the final note faded into the apartment. for a moment, neither of you spoke. you suddenly became painfully aware of how small the cake looked. how lopsided the frosting had turned out after you insisted on decorating it yourself, how there was only one lonely candle sitting in the middle.
you gave him a sheepish smile. “i know it isn’t much…” before you could finish, michael crossed the room in three quick strides.
“baby…” his voice cracked. one arm wrapped carefully around your waist while the other steadied the cake in your hands, pulling both you and your little birthday surprise impossibly close. he buried his face against your shoulder.
“…hey,” you whispered, feeling him take a shaky breath. you tilted your head just enough to catch a glimpse of his face, a single tear had slipping free from his eyes. you felt your heart shatter. “michael…”
“‘m sorry.” he let out the smallest embarrassed laugh, quickly shaking his head.
“don’t apologize.” you took one of your hands free from the plate to reach up and lightly caress the back of his head.
“i didn’t wanna cry.” he admitted. you knew how strong he was and how rarely you seen him cry—he’d usually do that alone, in the bathroom while you were busy or when you were asleep.
“i know.” you held onto him, rubbing his back with your palm to comfort him.
another quiet laugh escaped him. “you.. you did all this?” he looked back down at the tiny cake, the candle still burning stubbornly between the two of you.
you nodded, “i wanted the first thing you came home to be somebody who loves you.”
his eyes squeezed shut as another tear escaped, and this time he didn’t even bother hiding it—that did it for him.
tour had been loud and stressful with the crowds, the cameras, the constant traveling and the pressure, but standing here in the doorway of your shared apartment, holding a crooked little birthday cake while the woman he loved smiled back at him, it was the quietest he’d felt in weeks.
he leaned down and pressed the gentlest kiss against your forehead. “best birthday i’ve ever had.”
you grinned, “you haven’t even made a wish yet.”
he looked into your eyes for a long moment before glancing back at the tiny flame. “…i think it already came true.”
you smiled through the tears threatening your own eyes, carefully lifting the little cake between the two of you.
“c’mon,” you laughed softly. “before the wax melts all over it.”
michael let out a watery chuckle, the sound still thick with emotion. “right…”
he looked down at the tiny candle, the flame dancing gently between you. closing his eyes for only a moment, he took a quiet breath.
you watched him carefully, “make a good wish,” you teased.
his eyes opened again, already fixed on you. “…don’t have to.”
before you could ask why, he leaned forward and blew out the candle in one gentle breath. darkness swallowed the room once more, only for a second. you reached over, flicking the light switch beside the entryway.
a warm amber glow spilled across the apartment, chasing away the shadows. when you turned back around, michael was already looking at you—really looking at you.
his eyes wandered over your face as though he were trying to memorize every little detail he’d missed while he was away.
“…what?” you asked with a bashful smile.
he shook his head. “nothin’.”
a grin tugged at your lips that michael just couldn’t help but notice. “you’re staring again.”
“’cause i missed you.” his answer came so quickly, so honestly, it made your chest ache.
weeks apart had stolen away all the little things—the lazy mornings, the dinners shared on the couch, the absentminded kisses whenever one of you passed through the room.
now that he was finally standing in front of you again, it was as if he couldn’t quite believe you were real.
you set the cake carefully on the console table beside the door before turning back to him. without another word, your hands found his face.
your thumbs brushed lightly beneath his eyes, wiping away the last traces of tears he hadn’t realized were still there.
“there’s my birthday boy,” you whispered, causing michael’s nose to scrunch as a shy laugh escaped him.
“don’t start.” he spoke with a tiny shake of his head to ignore the burning sensation of tears wanting to spill.
“what?” you nibbled slightly at your bottom lip.
“you’re gonna make me cry again.” he pouted slightly.
“maybe i like making you emotional.” you teased, he knew teasing was like your second nature but never took it seriously.
“that’s mean.” his composure cracked beneath the pull of a smile, causing a giggle to escape you.
“i’m sorry baby.” you said between giggles, your hands staying at the sides of his face.
he finally smiled—one of those bright, boyish smiles you’d been missing ever since he’d left for tour, “c’mere.”
he didn’t wait for you this time. his hands slipped around your waist, drawing you against him until there wasn’t the slightest bit of space left between your bodies.
the embrace lingered—neither of you in any hurry to let go. you rested your forehead against his, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne beneath the crisp night air that still clung to his jacket.
“home feels a lot nicer with you in it,” he murmured.
your heart fluttered. “yeah?”
“mhm.” his thumb absentmindedly traced slow circles along the small of your back. “hotel rooms are just… rooms.”
you looked up at him as he spoke, “this…” his gaze softened before continuing, “…this is home.”
emotion swelled in your chest as you leaned up, pressing the gentlest kiss to the corner of his mouth. he smiled into it.
“that’s all i get?” he asked, his voice teasing now.
you tilted your head innocently. “i dunno…”
“is that right?” one of his eyebrows cocking up.
“maybe you gotta earn the rest.” you debated.
he laughed—a full, genuine laugh this time. “on my birthday and after flyin’ halfway across the world?”
“rules are rules.” you shrugged.
“that’s cold.” shaking his head at your ridiculous rules.
“is it?”
“mhmm.”
his smile only widened before he leaned in once more. this time, he kissed you properly—slowly—like he was making up for every kiss he’d missed while he was gone.
your fingers disappeared into the soft curls at the nape of his neck as he held you close, the rest of the world fading into the background until all either of you could hear was the quiet record still spinning somewhere in the apartment. you couldn’t resist michael and with so much time apart, you were craving him to say the least.
when you finally pulled apart, neither of you moved very far. his forehead found yours again.
“…happy birthday,” you whispered. michael smiled, brushing his nose lightly against yours.
“best one yet.” he replied. “but, its not over quite yet.”
his lips found yours once again, savoring the familiar sweetness of you like he’d been deprived for far too long. a quiet sigh escaped him the moment you scratched lightly against his scalp, his shoulders visibly relaxing beneath your touch.
“god…” he breathed with a shy laugh, resting his forehead against yours for only a second before stealing another kiss. “i missed you so much.” he mumbled between your lips.
“i know.” you snuck in, fingers massaging his soft curls as your lips maneuvered in sync with his.
“no…” he smiled in between, “i don’t think you do.” his voice low. the kiss lingered, deepening little by little, leaving only the quiet sounds of shared breaths and your tongues dancing with one another.
his hands never left the small of your back as he slowly guided you toward the dining table. when the backs of your legs brushed against the table, his hands wandered lower before gently lifting you onto the edge, never once allowing the warmth between your bodies to fade.
his fingers gripped the plush of your hips while his lips lingered to your cheek, then your jaw, then right below it. it was as though he couldn’t decide where he wanted to kiss you most.
he placed a few more wet, soft kisses on sweet spot of your neck, the spot that settled right below your ear. your arms now swung over his shoulders, a breathy sigh slipping from the back of your throat.
your arms stayed wrapped around him until michael carefully took one of your hands into his own. lifting it between the two of you, his kisses wandered from the bare curve of your shoulder, drifting unhurriedly down your arm until they reached your hand. he gathered it carefully in his own, pressing kisses against your knuckles, relearning the familiar comfort of your touch that he missed so dearly.
stepping back a bit, he admired you as a whole. a beauty right before him he couldn’t let go unsatisfied. your cheeks warmed up under the gaze of his eyes scanning details of your body. your freshly blown out hair, the one-of-many satin slips you own—it was a dark crimson one you were wearing this time, the ‘M’ necklace that decorated your clavicle with a shimmering glint every time the light hit it.
his hands grazed your skin before kneeling on one knee, grabbing your silky soft thighs to rest on his shoulders and pulling you closer to him. he pressed soft kisses from your inner knee all the way to your inner thigh, savoring the way the cute noises you were making from his touch rang through his ears. his thumbs gently lifting the little bit of fabric covering your glistening core to reveal you panti-less, another surprise michael wasn’t expecting. his eyes looked up at your face, already smirking down at him as you were waiting for him to figure this specific surprise out.
“naughty little one..” he whispered, a smile glued to his lips before dipping back down to continue teasing with warm kisses on each of your thighs. though, you were undeniably patient, the build up before him actually touching you in the places you craved was just as thrilling. your elbows rested on the mahogany wood table as his tongue continued tracing kisses up to your folds, your fingers moving small strands of loose curls away from his face, sometimes even tucking them behind his ear for him.
his mouth got to work on you right away, licking a strip up your clit before swirling his muscle around the sensitive bud. your thighs slightly tensed at the feeling, squishing his head between them causing him to chuckle against your heat. the vibrations damn-near sent shivers down your spine, your head resting back as soft satisfied hums echoed through the dinging room.
“mm- mikey.. it’s your birthday i should be- hm- i should be be pleasing you, my love-” you barely made out between the hums of pleasure, but he quickly cut you off.
“shh- i wanna show you how much i appreciate you darling.” he interrupts, “for everything.” he could taste your arousal as you dripped onto his lips, creating a tightness in his slacks now.
after a few moments of michael devouring you and your sweetness, you felt the familiar tightening in your lower abdomen, “’m close baby.” you moaned out. one of your hands tugging on his curls as the other held onto the edge of the table for stability. the slurping noises from his head between your thighs had came to an halt after hearing your words.
“already, my love?” he teased, stepping back up. his hands slithered around your waist to help you from the table.
“shut up..” you murmured and took his hand in yours. he shook his head and lead you to your shared bedroom.
shutting the door behind you, he guided you to the edge of the bed. with a gentle push, he sat you down on the edge, now in eye level with belt of his slacks. your lip caught between your teeth as you watched his fingers slowly undo the buckle, then the loop, then completely pulling it off. every movement of his made you weak—whether it was on stage or in the bedroom—the slight of his unbuttoned shirt practically made you drool.
he swiftly removed his button up, kneeling over you to bring his lips to meet yours. your hands cupped his cheeks as you were now laid on the mattress with your handsome lover hovering over you. the ambient sounds of nature only enhanced the tenderness of the two of you in this moment.
you felt his strong hand feel up your thighs once again—his biggest weakness being your legs—slowly maneuvering your mini slip up more and more. his hands moved to fully pull off his slacks, all without parting his lips from yours. you pulled apart for a moment, your breathing slowed while watching him in adoration as he took his erect member, that was nearly touching his bellybutton, and lined it up with your entrance. your eyes darted from his face to the work of his hands, licking your lips hungrily.
before fully sinking into your warmth, you fully slipped off your dress, leaving your body on display while michael ogled you with desire.
“you are the most gorgeous woman ever..” he cooed in your ear, leaning down to press another kiss to your lips then to your neck, finally slowly plunging into you.
you both let out heavenly sounds as his length seeped deep into your cunt that was already lubricated with your arousal. he fully removed his cock before filling you back up again, each thrust accompanied with a little whimper from you.
“i know baby.. i know,” he caressed your face, holding it with one hand while the other fondled with your breasts. “you’re takin’ me so well.” his gaze moved down, watching how his length disappears as he thrusts.
his pace remained slow and steady, never taking his eyes off of you. “i’missed you so much.” you whined out, your fingers met with the curls on the back of his neck once again.
“yeah? i missed you too, angel,” his breath quickened as well as his penetrating movements. hearing your whiny voice confess how much you missed him unlocked something inside of him at this moment. he wanted to show you how much he really missed you.
he adjusted his position, arms to the side of you, engulfing your lips with a deeply passionate kiss before picking up his pace. the sounds of skin smacking and michael swallowing your desperate moans. his noises just as sinful, grumbling and groaning into your mouth as well. he took one of his hands and moved it down to your clit, using the pad of his thumb to rub the swollen bud. your hips pumped up slightly at the sensation, tugging at his locks.
michael’s face fell into the crook of your neck, the pleasure becoming all too overwhelming as his hips snapped against yours, his filthiest moans singing in your ear. your nails dragged along his back as you tightened around his cock, “fuck- you feel so good mama.” he whimpered along the slick skin of your neck.
you could feel him twitch inside of you, signaling that he was ready. the immense amount of adrenaline he felt caused him to move at a merciless rhythm, plummeting his full length into you—sending you into ecstasy—and leaving you a moaning mess.
“i.. i’m so close baby!” you cried out as you held onto his back with no more space left between both of your bodies. with a few more thrusts paired with his fingers working magic on your clit, you dissolved into pleasure as you fell over the edge. your eyes shut tightly and you gripped around his cock as you spilled over, leaving a mess all over him. he fell close after you with a shattered breath and sweet whine, slamming into you once or twice as he deliciously filled you with his seed which helped you ride out your orgasm perfectly.
you felt his hot breath dance on the skin on your neck before feeling his lips engulf yours, tasting the salty sweat that beaded on his upper lip. he moved easy in and out a few more times before fully pulling out, a relaxed sigh spilling from the both of you.
“i love you.” his voice rasped as he looked at you now, fully. “i love you too, mikey.” you replied back, caressing his back gently. neither of you moved for a minute before michael finally decided to get up, propping yourself up along with him. he took one of his neatly pressed shirts, guiding each of your arms through the sleeves and buttoning it for you, leaving a few open—all with an enormous grin on his face.
“look at you..” he pressed a soft kiss to your nose before getting back up from the plush bed and dressing himself in some grey sweats and a t-shirt. you felt your face transition from its original color to now a tinted pink from his words. despite the year long relationship, michael knows how to leave you smitten, especially vulnerable in your post-orgasm glow.
you watched as he disappeared out of the bedroom, curious as to what he was doing. your hand reached for the tv remote, flipping through the channels before seeing him return with his cake, two forks and two glasses of water. you jumped up to help him as he seemed to have been struggling to keep everything together.
“woahh~” you grabbed the glasses of water as he sat on the edge of the bed, “now you’re ready for your cake?” you teased with a laugh, causing him to do the same. he gently tugged at his shirt that was draped on you, sitting you down on his lap. you slightly yelped at the sudden dominant movement that undeniably gave you butterflies. you placed the glasses of water down on the night stand ensuring not to spill.
he grabbed one of the forks and took a piece out of the cake, bringing it to your mouth for you to eat. obeying, you opened and took the fork to your mouth before grabbing it from him. michael watched as you hummed in response to the delicious taste of the cake, giving yourself a proud nod, “i picked a good one!”
“yeah?” he asked before taking his own fork to try it. he also nodded at the luscious tasting cake, giving you a kiss on the cheek, “i love it!” he exclaimed.
the rest of the night was spent finishing- no devouring the cake then staying up for majority of the night, sharing stories of his first leg of the bad tour, the events you’ve attended while he was away, and potential plans for your future together. and you wouldn’t want it any other way.
hi angels!! new theme & post layout, what do we think?? anywho, here’s an idea i thought of that turned into a oneshot for the model series ♡ aka my favorite series so far. i hope yall enjoy it as much i enjoyed writing it hehe!
SPEED DEMON BTS | x

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you're such a baby
fluff skinship tender love
pairing: thriller era michael x fem!reader
summary: just michael being a total baby and craving back scratches
here's a little sweet fic for yall <3
the house is quiet, save for the soft, crackling hum of the television screen casting flickering blue light across the living room of hayvenhurst. it’s a saturday night, and for the first time in what feels like months, the house is empty. no hustle of family members, no housekeepers rushing about, no phones ringing. just you and michael.
he’s sprawled out across the velvet sofa, his long legs dangling off the edge while his head remains firmly anchored in your lap. the atmosphere is thick with a cozy, domestic lethargy. you’ve been running your fingers through his hair for a while, but he’s been restless, shifting his weight constantly, sighing with a dramatic, exaggerated flair that makes you chuckle.
"something wrong, baby?" you tease, brushing a stray lock of hair away from his forehead.
he lets out a deep, rumbling "hmm," the sound vibrating against your thighs. he doesn't open his eyes, he just tilts his chin up, his expression one of pure, unadulterated neediness. "it’s my back, angel," he murmurs, his voice a velvety, sleepy croak.
“everything feels so tight. you’ve been ignoring my back for ten whole minutes.”
you laugh softly, shifting your hand from his hair down to his shoulders, kneading the tension out of his muscles. "there, better?"
"yeah..." he lets out a contented, elongated sound, his body instantly going limp under your touch. he presses his face deeper into your lap, nuzzling against you like a kitten. "that's nice... but keep going lower.”
“right between my shoulder blades. yeah, right there."
you can’t help but burst into a soft laugh, your shoulders shaking slightly as you look down at him. the way he’s so demanding yet so sweet is honestly too much to handle.
"you are such a bossy baby," you tease, a playful glint in your eyes as you lightly run your nails down his spine. "first you’re silent, and now you’re giving me specific coordinates."
he lets out a low, muffled giggle against your stomach, his hand tightening around your waist. "i’m not being bossy," he mumbles, his voice thick with that sleepy, spoiled tone he only ever uses with you. "i’m just... guiding you to the best part."
you lean over, pressing your forehead against his hair, and whisper right into his ear, "oh, so you're a professional guide now, mr. jackson?"
he lets out a soft, breathy chuckle, his shoulders rising and falling with the sound. "only for you," he mumbles, his voice barely a murmur.
you can’t help yourself. he’s just too precious when he’s this relaxed. you start by pressing a lingering, tender kiss right to his temple, then another just above his eyebrow. he sighs, his eyes closing tighter, his entire face softening as he practically leans into the affection, his body humming with contentment.
you trail your kisses down his cheek, pressing soft, butterfly-light pecks along his jawline. he shivers under your touch, a small, involuntary movement that makes your heart swell. "mmhh, mama..." he whispers, his voice thick with a sleepy, lovesick daze.
"oh michael," you tease, pressing one last, firm kiss to the corner of his mouth, which makes him smile against your skin.
he lets out another "hmm," a soft, breathy sound of approval. he’s completely melted, his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, pulling you closer so that there isn't a single inch of space between you.
"you’re such a baby.." you whisper, watching the way his eyelashes flutter every time you apply a little more pressure.
"i'm just spoiled," he replies, his voice low and drowsy. "by you. nobody else knows how to rub my back like this. it’s like... it’s like you know exactly where the knots are."
he shifts again, wriggling deeper into your lap, his back arching just enough to invite more pressure. he’s shivering slightly under your touch, a soft, involuntary reaction to the friction. "mmhh, mama, you have the magic touch. i could stay like this for a hundred years and never get bored."
he sighs again, a long, shaky sound that seems to empty his lungs of all the stress from the week. he’s so relaxed that his hand, which was gripping your shirt, begins to loosen. he’s completely succumbed to the comfort of the night, his eyes squeezed shut, a small, blissful smile playing on his lips. he looks so peaceful, so far away from the stage and the flashing bulbs, just a man in love in his own home.
after a few more minutes of rhythmic stroking, he goes quiet, but he’s clearly not satisfied with the barrier of his shirt anymore. he reaches behind him, his fingers finding your wrist and guiding your hand down toward the hem of his clothing, his thumb stroking your skin urgently.
"under," he murmurs, his voice breathless and sweet, eyes flickering open just to lock onto yours with that familiar, boyish vulnerability. "please, ma? it’s not enough... i need to feel your skin.”
your hand is already tucked inside his shirt, your warm palm resting against the smooth, sensitive skin of his lower back. as you slowly guide your hand downward, moving from his shoulder blades toward his waist and the curve of his lower back—those spots that always seem to be his absolute undoing—he lets out a sharp, surprised gasp that quickly dissolves into a series of breathless giggles.
"yes... god, that's it," he mumbles, his voice thick with a mixture of ticklish delight and pure comfort.
he is absolutely vibrating with the sensation. as you trace circles right above his hips, his entire body jerks against you, and he buries his face even deeper into your stomach, nuzzling into the soft fabric of your clothes. he’s like a happy, lovesick kitten, rubbing his cheek and nose back and forth against you, making soft, needy sounds that make your heart melt.
"mmhh... ah, you’re trying to kill me, aren't you?" he lets out a long, shaky sigh, his breath hot against your stomach. "that feels... oh, it feels so good."
you can’t help the playful smirk that spreads across your face, seeing the most famous man on earth completely undone by something as simple as your touch. you press your fingertips into his lower back, just enough to make him arch his spine and shudder.
"you're a sensitive baby, michael," you whisper, trailing your nails lightly over his skin, teasing him. "are you enjoying that? or should i stop?"
he lets out a low, desperate-sounding moan, his grip on your waist tightening instantly as he shakes his head against your stomach. "no! don't you dare stop. i’ll never forgive you if you stop," he laughs, a bubbly, musical sound that is pure innocence. "you’re so mean, teasing me like this... you know exactly what you’re doing to me, don't you?"
he starts nuzzling harder into you, his nose and lips grazing your skin as he wiggles his hips, trying to get more of your hand against his back. he’s completely uninhibited, all his defenses down, just soaking in the attention like a sponge.
"you’re just so soft," he hums, his voice muffled and sleepy as he presses a soft, lingering kiss to your stomach through your clothes. "i could stay here forever. just you, me, and your hands on my back..”
tag list: @meowwnchild @erenstitanweave @daniaalhaid @j5rneymercies @tenderlyboundlessparagon @moonwalkarchives @heyitsconysstuff @platanita @blepblep2807
i lowk love requesting from you (even tho its my second time) bcs youre SO ACTIVE !! but i cant remember if i req this from u or a different mj writer whoops but i keep thinking ab reader like seeing mj in his infamous gold pants for the first time and catching absolute print and mj’s like his shy self like “yeah they hug me kinda tight there hehe” hol’ time this man aint wearing NUTHIN under those pants 😭😭😭😭
( ˶°ㅁ°) !! 0.7k, nsfw ) perv!michael jackson x fem reader: this concept but w perv!michael (i've been reading a lot of perv fics lately don't @ me) <3
perv!michael trying on his gold pants for the first time and knowing immediately that he's going to drive you nuts with them. he plays into his usual shyness at first, his expression sheepish as he comes out of the dressing room.
"so, what do you think?" he asks, walking over to you. he's subtly grinning, arms out to show himself off to you as if he isn't wearing the most tight, "leave nothing to the imagination" ass pants known to mankind. he's even got the audacity to start dancing, unaware of how your gaze is fixed on his clear dickprint.
"they're shiny," you manage, swallowing before forcing your eyes up towards his face. "kind of um..." you trail, gesturing vaguely towards your own pelvis.
your boyfriend glances down briefly before he looks back at you again. the smile comes out in full along his lips, although he keeps it bashful for now. "yeah, they kind of hug me there, don't they?" he murmurs, "but, it looks good otherwise, right?"
"yeah, yeah," you nod, stepping closer to examine the rest of the pants. everything else was fine, the golden material clinging to his thighs and calves in a way that made him look a wrapped present. it looked good. "they're not bad pants," you add, "just... kinda tight there."
he's got the audacity to make you stand in front of him as he dances in his pants. testing, he calls it. torture is what you would name it. "tell me if they tear, okay?" he instructs, his voice all soft and sweet before he starts his routine. after about two casual moves, perv!michael grips his crotch forcing your attention to the outline of his length as he rocks his hips and hums.
he actually calls you a pervert for staring at his crotch so much. perv!michael loves watching you grow annoyed as he continues to tease you. "you're dirty," he laughs, "you've barely looked me in the eyes since i've left the dressing room."
the gold pants shine as he walks over to you, pressing a kiss to your jawline in apology. "i'm just teasing," he coos, taking hold of both of your hands and squeezing lightly, "you know i love you. even if you are a pervert." perv!michael smirks, then brings your dominant hand to his chest so you can feel his heartbeat. he's fond of doing that, knowing how much it grounds you. you're never annoyed when you can feel his heartbeat... especially considering how you get to palm the muscle of his pec as you feel it.
perv!michael gently easing your hand down his abdomen, letting you feel him through his shirt. when you reach his waistline, your breath hitches; the sound makes his eyes light up. "want to feel it?" he asks in a whisper, urging your wrist down until your fingertips graze him through the golden fabric of his pants.
he chuckles breathlessly as your hand grows more explorative, gripping and grasping more than grazing. "easy," michael murmurs, his own breath coming out shaky as you continue on.
"are you...?" you trail, letting your index trace down his length. it feels as though the pants are the only thing between himself and your hand. he's either wearing the thinnest underwear of all time or...
he shakes his head. "nope," he admits, "you can tell?"
"i can feel it, michael," you huff. he's not wearing underwear, and yet you're the pervert. right.
your boyfriend lets a silence settle between you two before purposefully breaking it for dramatics' sake. softly, he asks, "d'you like it?" michael lets his eyes flit up to yours, his gaze filled with nothing but love and curiosity. he bites his lip for a second, then adds, "i did it for you. i figured you'd enjoy it."
do you enjoy it?... maybe, but you'd never admit that aloud. "you're the pervert, here," you mutter instead, listening to him laugh at the accusation.
and later, just when you thought he'd be done with his shenanigans concerning the gold pants, perv!michael begs you to palm him on the ride home after a long concert. "please, baby, i'm achin'," he mumbles into your ear, the privacy partition already rolled up as he climbs on top of you. "i need your touch... need you to help me..."
looking for more?
wanted to try my hand at perv!michael content and i thought this ask was perfect for it! hope you don't mind <3
ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀɪɴ
sɪɴᴏᴘsᴇ after a painful argument, a song becomes the only way to say everything left unsaid. when michael shows up at your concert for the first time, he finally hears the truth hidden between every lyric. and maybe, for the first time, the whole world does too. ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ
ᴛᴀɢs angst with happy ending, established relationship, singer!reader, hurt/comfort, jealousy, concert scene, public relationship reveal, smut. ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛ
june 2nd,
the large hotel room somehow feels claustrophobic. you let out a deep breath when an uneasy feeling washes over you. you're disconcerted; the pain in your gut is excruciating.
his prolonged silence is more than frustrating, it is devastating—because it means that he believed your words.
“mike, maybe we should end it.”
with love part 4
(part 3) (part 2) (part 1)
synopsis — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : after months apart, michael lets you go, only to discover that sometimes the hardest goodbye can become the first step toward finding each other again.
themes — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : regret, healing
wc — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : 2,601
wanna see more? here’s my masterlist! ݁ ˖Ი𐑼ֶָ֢
request = open 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯
the words left his mouth, and with them went the last thing he had been holding onto. there was nothing else to offer you. no explanation that could undo the months you’d spent waiting for him to come home. no apology capable of giving you back every dinner that had gone cold, every conversation you’d abandoned halfway through because you realized he wasn’t really listening, every night you’d stared at the ceiling wondering when loving someone had started feeling so lonely.
so he stopped talking.
for the first time since you had met him, michael wasn’t trying to find the right words. he was simply waiting.
the evening settled quietly around the two of you. the sun had almost disappeared completely now, leaving the city washed in soft blues and amber streetlights. people moved around you without a second glance, wrapped up in lives that had nothing to do with the two people standing motionless on the sidewalk.
you couldn’t speak, but it wasn’t because you wanted him to suffer. it wasn’t because you wanted to punish him. the truth was much simpler. you were terrified that if you opened your mouth, every wall that you had spent five months building would come crashing down all at once. your throat burned with words that refused to come.
michael searched your face with a desperation that made his chest ache. he looked for anything, anger, resentment, relief, hope. he would’ve taken any of it over this silence. silence gave him nothing to hold onto. for a brief moment, your eyes drifted away from his, settling somewhere over his shoulder.
his heart sank.
he thought you were already leaving.he nodded once to himself before lowering his gaze to the pavement, almost as if he were preparing for the answer before you’d even spoken it.
“okay.” the word barely reached you. you looked back at him. his voice sounded smaller than you’d ever heard it. he was not trying to make you feel guilty, but because somewhere inside himself, he had already accepted that this might be the end. he drew in a shaky breath that didn’t seem to reach his lungs.
“you… you don’t have to say anything.” his hands flexed helplessly at his sides.
they’d been reaching for you instinctively all evening, only for him to stop them every single time. he didn’t know if he still had the right.
another silence settled between you.it stretched long enough that michael felt the hope inside him begin to slip away.
he’d spent months imagining this moment. in every version, he thought that if he could just explain himself well enough, if he could finally find the words he’d been searching for, you’d understand how sorry he was. standing here now, he realized how unfair that had been.
you had spent months explaining yourself. he’d been the one who hadn’t listened. what right did he have to expect one speech to heal everything he’d broken? a sad smile found its way onto his face before disappearing almost immediately.
“i think…” he began quietly, and his voice caught.
he cleared his throat.
“i think i’ve asked enough from you.” you watched him blink rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling again. he lost the battle almost instantly. they slipped down his cheeks without him bothering to wipe them away.
“i’ve spent months asking you for another chance.” his eyes stayed fixed somewhere beyond you now.
“asking you to answer my calls. asking you to read my letters. asking you to believe me.” another shaky breath, another tear.
“and i don’t…” he stopped, swallowing hard
“…i don’t get to keep asking.”
your fingers curled tighter around themselves. he looked exhausted, not physically, but emotionally. like someone who had been carrying the same unbearable weight for months without ever putting it down.
he laughed softly to himself. it wasn’t bitter, but it was sad.
“i used to think i knew what missing someone felt like.”
his eyes lifted toward the evening sky.
“i thought it was hearing a song that reminded me of you.” he shook his head.
“or walking past somewhere we’d been together.”
“i was wrong.” his gaze found yours again.
“missing you is waking up every morning and forgetting you’re gone.” your chest tightened.
“it’s reaching across the bed before i remember.” his voice had become almost conversational now, soft, unsteady. as though he wasn’t trying to convince you anymore. he was simply telling you what his life had become.
“it’s hearing something funny and grabbing the phone because i wanna tell you…” a faint smile tugged at one corner of his mouth before disappearing. “…then realizing i don’t get to do that anymore.” he rubbed at his eyes.
“i still catch myself asking people if you’ve seen a movie i think you’d like.”
he looked embarrassed by the confession.
“i’ll be halfway through the sentence before i remember you aren’t there.” you could hear how tired he was. this was the exhaustion that came from grieving someone who was still alive.
“the house…” he whispered. “it’s so quiet.” his eyes drifted somewhere far away.
“i used to think hayvenhurst was peaceful. turns out… it was just peaceful because you were in it.” your vision blurred and he noticed your tears immediately. his expression crumpled.
“please don’t cry.” his own tears began falling again.
“i’ve done enough of that to you.”
he closed his eyes for a moment, pressing trembling fingers against them. when he looked back at you, he seemed even smaller somehow.
“i keep remembering things. little things. like the way you’d steal my sweaters even though you always complained they were too big, how you’d leave books all over the house, how every time i sat at the piano…” his smile softened.
“…you’d sit on the bench beside me even if you weren’t saying anything. i haven’t been able to play without looking over.”
your heart broke because you knew he wasn’t saying these things to make you feel guilty. if anything, he seemed ashamed to admit them. ashamed that he’d only begun noticing them after they were gone. his breathing became uneven again.
“i’ve been trying so hard to remember the last normal day we had together. before the album became… everything.” he searched his memory as though he genuinely believed he might find it if he tried hard enough. after several seconds, his shoulders fell.
“…i can’t.” the words came out broken.
“i can’t remember.” he covered his mouth with one hand. “and that’s what scares me.”another tear slipped through his fingers.
“because i know you probably can.”
he’d spent months trying to make himself the center of your forgiveness, trying to prove he’d changed, trying to convince you that loving him was still worth the risk. standing in front of you now, something inside him finally let go. if loving him meant reopening wounds you’d worked so hard to heal, then he couldn’t ask you to do it. he loved you too much.
the realization settled quietly inside him.
it hurt more than anything else had, but it also felt strangely peaceful.
he looked at you one last time. he really looked. at the woman he’d imagined marrying, the woman who had loved him long before he deserved it, the woman he’d almost lost forever. his lips parted. then closed again.
he smiled sadly.
“…i think…”
his voice was barely audible.
“…i think i’ve finally said everything i should’ve said months ago.”
“so… if this is goodbye…” his voice fractured around the last word. he forced himself to finish anyway.
“…thank you.”
your eyebrows pulled together. he smiled through fresh tears.
“for every dinner., every late-night conversation, every time you waited for me.”
his eyes glistened beneath the streetlights.
“every time you loved me…” his voice almost disappeared.
“…even when i wasn’t making it easy. i’ll spend the rest of my life wishing i’d loved you better.” another silence settled over the two of you. for the first time since you’d met him, michael turned to leave. the first step was the hardest.
you watched him take it anyway.
his shoulders were rounded in a way you’d never seen before, his head bowed toward the pavement as though every ounce of strength he’d been holding onto had finally left him. he wasn’t storming off. he wasn’t trying to make you chase him. if anything, he walked like someone who had accepted that this was the consequence he’d earned.
it hurt to watch because for the first time since you’d met him, michael wasn’t asking you to choose him. he was choosing to respect whatever you chose. he only made it a few steps before your voice found him.
“…michael.” he stopped immediately and his entire body went still. for a second, he didn’t turn around.
it was almost as though he was afraid that if he looked at you too quickly, he’d discover he’d imagined hearing his name. slowly, he looked over his shoulder, and his eyes were still red. there was no hope in them anymore, only love. the kind that had finally learned how to exist without demanding anything in return.
you stared at him. months ago, you would’ve known exactly what to say. you would’ve run to him without thinking, you would’ve accepted every apology before he even finished speaking because loving him had always come naturally. now, you understood that forgiveness wasn’t something you could force simply because you wanted to. it had to feel safe, and safety had been missing for a long time.
“come here.” the words surprised even you, and michael blinked.
“…what?”
“please.”
he hesitated. he walked back toward you slowly, stopping several feet away. he left enough space between you that you could’ve walked away without brushing against him. he’d learned that he wasn’t going to cross another boundary without being invited. for a while, neither of you spoke. the silence no longer felt sharp, it felt fragile. you looked at him, really looked at him. he’d always been beautiful, but that wasn’t what caught your attention. it was the exhaustion behind his eyes, the sleepless nights, the weight he’d been carrying. he looked older somehow.
your gaze drifted to his hands, and they were trembling. he noticed you looking and quickly tried to still them, curling them into loose fists before letting them fall back to his sides. old michael would’ve hidden it, but this michael let you see it.
“i believed you.” you said quietly.
“when?”
“when you said you’d choose me.” his eyes filled again. you looked down for a moment, gathering the courage to continue.
“because if you had said that five months ago…” your voice caught. “i don’t think i would’ve.”
the words hurt both of you, and he nodded slowly.
“i know.” there wasn’t a trace of defensiveness in his voice, only acceptance.
“five months ago…” he said softly, “i would’ve promised you everything.” a sad smile crossed his face. “and then i would’ve gone back to the studio believing my intentions were enough.” he looked at the ground.
“they weren’t.”
“no.”
“they weren’t.”
the honesty of it settled between you. he wasn’t asking you to ignore the past, he wasn’t asking you to believe it hadn’t happened, he was carrying it with him. and somehow, that made it easier for you to put yours down. you let out a slow breath.
you looked at him for a long moment before stepping closer. only one step and his breath caught. he stayed exactly where he was, waiting.
“i’ve spent five months wondering if i made the right decision because leaving hurt every single day.” he closed his eyes.
“…i know.”
“no, you don’t.”
“tell me.” the words came so naturally that they almost made you cry.
tell me, not explain it quickly, not get to the point, but tell me. and he meant it.
you saw it in the way he looked at you, the way he waited, the way he wasn’t trying to rush you.
so you did.
you told him about the first night you slept alone and woke up reaching for him, about crying in the grocery store because you saw his favorite cereal, about hearing one of his songs in a department store and leaving your shopping cart in the middle of an aisle because you couldn’t stop crying.
he listened to every word.
he never interrupted.
not once.
when you finally ran out of things to say, the only sound between you was your breathing.
michael stood perfectly still, tears streamed silently down his face.
“i’m so sorry.”
he whispered.
you stepped forward again, this time there was barely any space left between you. he looked at you with such cautious hope that it almost broke your heart.
“i’m still scared.” you admitted.
he nodded.
“i know.”
“and i’m probably going to be scared for a while.”
“that’s okay.”
“there are going to be days where i remember all of this.”
“i know.”
“and i might need reassurance.”
“you’ll have it.”
you searched his face.
“every time?” his eyes never left yours.
“every time.”
your eyes filled again and you reached for his hand. the moment your fingers brushed his, he inhaled sharply. it was such a small touch, but to him, it felt impossible.
he looked down at your joined hands as though he couldn’t quite believe they were real. carefully, almost hesitantly, his fingers closed around yours.
“does this mean…” he couldn’t finish and you smiled through your tears.
“it means… we try again.”
emotion overwhelmed him completely, he let out a broken sob and pulled you into his arms, not tightly, but carefully. as though he still couldn’t believe you were there. his face disappeared against your shoulder. you felt warm tears soaking into your jacket as his entire body shook.
“thank you.”
he whispered over and over.
“thank you for giving me another chance.”
you wrapped your arms around him. this hug felt different from every hug that had come before. it wasn’t about pretending everything was okay, it wasn’t about forgetting, it was about choosing to rebuild. one day at a time.
after a long while, he finally pulled back, his eyes were swollen.
his curls were a mess from your hands, he looked exhausted, and happier than you’d seen him in nearly a year.he lifted a hand toward your face before stopping himself halfway.
“…can i?”
the question made your chest ache because once upon a time, he would’ve assumed. now he asked.
you nodded.
his fingertips brushed your cheek so gently that you barely felt them.
“…i missed you.”
“i know.”
“every day.”
you smiled softly.
“i know.”
he laughed through another tear.
“i’m probably gonna spend the rest of my life apologizing.”
you shook your head.
“don’t.”
“why?”
“because i don’t want the rest of our life to be about what happened.”
you slipped your hand back into his.
“i want it to be about what happens next.”
his eyes filled all over again. without another word, he leaned down and kissed you.
when he rested his forehead against yours afterward, neither of you spoke. you didn’t need to.
for the first time in months, there was nothing left unsaid, and somewhere back at hayvenhurst, notebooks still covered the piano.
unfinished songs still waited to be recorded. the album would still be there tomorrow. this time, though, when michael went home, he already knew what he would do first.
he would ask you how your day had been. and this time, he would stay long enough to hear every word.
⠀ ꩜ .ᐟ : this final part has been in my drafts for a bit, but it took me so long to finally be happy with it. i originally planned for it to be a sad ending, when reader and michael go their separate ways, but i changed it last minute. the with love series is now complete, BUT- i’ll be happy to write little oneshots or side stories for them (๑>◡<๑)
tag list — @eggywritezstuff @arood98 @antisspiderguy @osugahunnyicedtea @cunty000 @mjlover0829 @animegamerfox @living-ghostgrl @dollyvuu @cherubae111 @closetedkiller @pupperonilover-blog @babygguk98 @mile3na @callmelyriic @queenofklonnie22 @sebbysbaby @helalokithor @unknwnbrii @ssexsellls @spiirituall @luvs4harrington @yennabow @saysaysaymjenthusiast @equityjinx @anothergoldenratio @ooooglymoooogly @artflooo @petitedollnina @pinkieghouls @michaelsgirlie @khxna @anglfac @erynnnn @ange1fce @smoothcriminalgf @watermielonnn @chocotragedy @saiyajvn @lauren7050 @tenderlyboundlessparagon @kiwimeow0-o @applehead-angelface @michaelsbabymother @raefoxiegirl @softformj @offthebrina @appleheadannie @lustfairyy @strawberryswirlsworld @marley1773 @swavydadon @nunusmoll @fire-in-her-veinz @invincixbutterflies @talesofanemerald @emmyyy21 @moro-maybe @jenniversity @wreneddieilysm @oidloid @sagasreads @spiirituall @exactlysizzlingdonut @kayybaereads
extended taglist!: @marley1773 @swavydadon @nunusmoll @fire-in-her-veinz @invincixbutterflies @talesofanemerald @emmyyy21 @moro-maybe @jenniversity @wreneddieilysm @oidloid @sagasreads @spiirituall @exactlysizzlingdonut @kayybaereads
i’ve been getting some insane anon comments so i turned them off! i would like that anon to be bold and now say something to me not behind a anon account ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა don’t be pussy, XOXO kiku
psa, i do NOT use ai. i have a minor in english writing as well as im a current masters student in astrophysics. please do not accuse writers of using AI if you do not have solid proof. ALSO, ai does use human written text to guess what? SOUND HUMAN. stop accusing writers of AI as it’s very harmful to do so. writing is a passion of mine, so i can stop any damn time i feel like it if u bitches wanna be annoying. LOVE KIKU

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
with love part 4
(part 3) (part 2) (part 1)
synopsis — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : after months apart, michael lets you go, only to discover that sometimes the hardest goodbye can become the first step toward finding each other again.
themes — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : regret, healing
wc — 𓍼ོ.☘︎ ݁˖༘⋆ : 2,601
wanna see more? here’s my masterlist! ݁ ˖Ი𐑼ֶָ֢
request = open 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯
the words left his mouth, and with them went the last thing he had been holding onto. there was nothing else to offer you. no explanation that could undo the months you’d spent waiting for him to come home. no apology capable of giving you back every dinner that had gone cold, every conversation you’d abandoned halfway through because you realized he wasn’t really listening, every night you’d stared at the ceiling wondering when loving someone had started feeling so lonely.
so he stopped talking.
for the first time since you had met him, michael wasn’t trying to find the right words. he was simply waiting.
the evening settled quietly around the two of you. the sun had almost disappeared completely now, leaving the city washed in soft blues and amber streetlights. people moved around you without a second glance, wrapped up in lives that had nothing to do with the two people standing motionless on the sidewalk.
you couldn’t speak, but it wasn’t because you wanted him to suffer. it wasn’t because you wanted to punish him. the truth was much simpler. you were terrified that if you opened your mouth, every wall that you had spent five months building would come crashing down all at once. your throat burned with words that refused to come.
michael searched your face with a desperation that made his chest ache. he looked for anything, anger, resentment, relief, hope. he would’ve taken any of it over this silence. silence gave him nothing to hold onto. for a brief moment, your eyes drifted away from his, settling somewhere over his shoulder.
his heart sank.
he thought you were already leaving.he nodded once to himself before lowering his gaze to the pavement, almost as if he were preparing for the answer before you’d even spoken it.
“okay.” the word barely reached you. you looked back at him. his voice sounded smaller than you’d ever heard it. he was not trying to make you feel guilty, but because somewhere inside himself, he had already accepted that this might be the end. he drew in a shaky breath that didn’t seem to reach his lungs.
“you… you don’t have to say anything.” his hands flexed helplessly at his sides.
they’d been reaching for you instinctively all evening, only for him to stop them every single time. he didn’t know if he still had the right.
another silence settled between you.it stretched long enough that michael felt the hope inside him begin to slip away.
he’d spent months imagining this moment. in every version, he thought that if he could just explain himself well enough, if he could finally find the words he’d been searching for, you’d understand how sorry he was. standing here now, he realized how unfair that had been.
you had spent months explaining yourself. he’d been the one who hadn’t listened. what right did he have to expect one speech to heal everything he’d broken? a sad smile found its way onto his face before disappearing almost immediately.
“i think…” he began quietly, and his voice caught.
he cleared his throat.
“i think i’ve asked enough from you.” you watched him blink rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling again. he lost the battle almost instantly. they slipped down his cheeks without him bothering to wipe them away.
“i’ve spent months asking you for another chance.” his eyes stayed fixed somewhere beyond you now.
“asking you to answer my calls. asking you to read my letters. asking you to believe me.” another shaky breath, another tear.
“and i don’t…” he stopped, swallowing hard
“…i don’t get to keep asking.”
your fingers curled tighter around themselves. he looked exhausted, not physically, but emotionally. like someone who had been carrying the same unbearable weight for months without ever putting it down.
he laughed softly to himself. it wasn’t bitter, but it was sad.
“i used to think i knew what missing someone felt like.”
his eyes lifted toward the evening sky.
“i thought it was hearing a song that reminded me of you.” he shook his head.
“or walking past somewhere we’d been together.”
“i was wrong.” his gaze found yours again.
“missing you is waking up every morning and forgetting you’re gone.” your chest tightened.
“it’s reaching across the bed before i remember.” his voice had become almost conversational now, soft, unsteady. as though he wasn’t trying to convince you anymore. he was simply telling you what his life had become.
“it’s hearing something funny and grabbing the phone because i wanna tell you…” a faint smile tugged at one corner of his mouth before disappearing. “…then realizing i don’t get to do that anymore.” he rubbed at his eyes.
“i still catch myself asking people if you’ve seen a movie i think you’d like.”
he looked embarrassed by the confession.
“i’ll be halfway through the sentence before i remember you aren’t there.” you could hear how tired he was. this was the exhaustion that came from grieving someone who was still alive.
“the house…” he whispered. “it’s so quiet.” his eyes drifted somewhere far away.
“i used to think hayvenhurst was peaceful. turns out… it was just peaceful because you were in it.” your vision blurred and he noticed your tears immediately. his expression crumpled.
“please don’t cry.” his own tears began falling again.
“i’ve done enough of that to you.”
he closed his eyes for a moment, pressing trembling fingers against them. when he looked back at you, he seemed even smaller somehow.
“i keep remembering things. little things. like the way you’d steal my sweaters even though you always complained they were too big, how you’d leave books all over the house, how every time i sat at the piano…” his smile softened.
“…you’d sit on the bench beside me even if you weren’t saying anything. i haven’t been able to play without looking over.”
your heart broke because you knew he wasn’t saying these things to make you feel guilty. if anything, he seemed ashamed to admit them. ashamed that he’d only begun noticing them after they were gone. his breathing became uneven again.
“i’ve been trying so hard to remember the last normal day we had together. before the album became… everything.” he searched his memory as though he genuinely believed he might find it if he tried hard enough. after several seconds, his shoulders fell.
“…i can’t.” the words came out broken.
“i can’t remember.” he covered his mouth with one hand. “and that’s what scares me.”another tear slipped through his fingers.
“because i know you probably can.”
he’d spent months trying to make himself the center of your forgiveness, trying to prove he’d changed, trying to convince you that loving him was still worth the risk. standing in front of you now, something inside him finally let go. if loving him meant reopening wounds you’d worked so hard to heal, then he couldn’t ask you to do it. he loved you too much.
the realization settled quietly inside him.
it hurt more than anything else had, but it also felt strangely peaceful.
he looked at you one last time. he really looked. at the woman he’d imagined marrying, the woman who had loved him long before he deserved it, the woman he’d almost lost forever. his lips parted. then closed again.
he smiled sadly.
“…i think…”
his voice was barely audible.
“…i think i’ve finally said everything i should’ve said months ago.”
“so… if this is goodbye…” his voice fractured around the last word. he forced himself to finish anyway.
“…thank you.”
your eyebrows pulled together. he smiled through fresh tears.
“for every dinner., every late-night conversation, every time you waited for me.”
his eyes glistened beneath the streetlights.
“every time you loved me…” his voice almost disappeared.
“…even when i wasn’t making it easy. i’ll spend the rest of my life wishing i’d loved you better.” another silence settled over the two of you. for the first time since you’d met him, michael turned to leave. the first step was the hardest.
you watched him take it anyway.
his shoulders were rounded in a way you’d never seen before, his head bowed toward the pavement as though every ounce of strength he’d been holding onto had finally left him. he wasn’t storming off. he wasn’t trying to make you chase him. if anything, he walked like someone who had accepted that this was the consequence he’d earned.
it hurt to watch because for the first time since you’d met him, michael wasn’t asking you to choose him. he was choosing to respect whatever you chose. he only made it a few steps before your voice found him.
“…michael.” he stopped immediately and his entire body went still. for a second, he didn’t turn around.
it was almost as though he was afraid that if he looked at you too quickly, he’d discover he’d imagined hearing his name. slowly, he looked over his shoulder, and his eyes were still red. there was no hope in them anymore, only love. the kind that had finally learned how to exist without demanding anything in return.
you stared at him. months ago, you would’ve known exactly what to say. you would’ve run to him without thinking, you would’ve accepted every apology before he even finished speaking because loving him had always come naturally. now, you understood that forgiveness wasn’t something you could force simply because you wanted to. it had to feel safe, and safety had been missing for a long time.
“come here.” the words surprised even you, and michael blinked.
“…what?”
“please.”
he hesitated. he walked back toward you slowly, stopping several feet away. he left enough space between you that you could’ve walked away without brushing against him. he’d learned that he wasn’t going to cross another boundary without being invited. for a while, neither of you spoke. the silence no longer felt sharp, it felt fragile. you looked at him, really looked at him. he’d always been beautiful, but that wasn’t what caught your attention. it was the exhaustion behind his eyes, the sleepless nights, the weight he’d been carrying. he looked older somehow.
your gaze drifted to his hands, and they were trembling. he noticed you looking and quickly tried to still them, curling them into loose fists before letting them fall back to his sides. old michael would’ve hidden it, but this michael let you see it.
“i believed you.” you said quietly.
“when?”
“when you said you’d choose me.” his eyes filled again. you looked down for a moment, gathering the courage to continue.
“because if you had said that five months ago…” your voice caught. “i don’t think i would’ve.”
the words hurt both of you, and he nodded slowly.
“i know.” there wasn’t a trace of defensiveness in his voice, only acceptance.
“five months ago…” he said softly, “i would’ve promised you everything.” a sad smile crossed his face. “and then i would’ve gone back to the studio believing my intentions were enough.” he looked at the ground.
“they weren’t.”
“no.”
“they weren’t.”
the honesty of it settled between you. he wasn’t asking you to ignore the past, he wasn’t asking you to believe it hadn’t happened, he was carrying it with him. and somehow, that made it easier for you to put yours down. you let out a slow breath.
you looked at him for a long moment before stepping closer. only one step and his breath caught. he stayed exactly where he was, waiting.
“i’ve spent five months wondering if i made the right decision because leaving hurt every single day.” he closed his eyes.
“…i know.”
“no, you don’t.”
“tell me.” the words came so naturally that they almost made you cry.
tell me, not explain it quickly, not get to the point, but tell me. and he meant it.
you saw it in the way he looked at you, the way he waited, the way he wasn’t trying to rush you.
so you did.
you told him about the first night you slept alone and woke up reaching for him, about crying in the grocery store because you saw his favorite cereal, about hearing one of his songs in a department store and leaving your shopping cart in the middle of an aisle because you couldn’t stop crying.
he listened to every word.
he never interrupted.
not once.
when you finally ran out of things to say, the only sound between you was your breathing.
michael stood perfectly still, tears streamed silently down his face.
“i’m so sorry.”
he whispered.
you stepped forward again, this time there was barely any space left between you. he looked at you with such cautious hope that it almost broke your heart.
“i’m still scared.” you admitted.
he nodded.
“i know.”
“and i’m probably going to be scared for a while.”
“that’s okay.”
“there are going to be days where i remember all of this.”
“i know.”
“and i might need reassurance.”
“you’ll have it.”
you searched his face.
“every time?” his eyes never left yours.
“every time.”
your eyes filled again and you reached for his hand. the moment your fingers brushed his, he inhaled sharply. it was such a small touch, but to him, it felt impossible.
he looked down at your joined hands as though he couldn’t quite believe they were real. carefully, almost hesitantly, his fingers closed around yours.
“does this mean…” he couldn’t finish and you smiled through your tears.
“it means… we try again.”
emotion overwhelmed him completely, he let out a broken sob and pulled you into his arms, not tightly, but carefully. as though he still couldn’t believe you were there. his face disappeared against your shoulder. you felt warm tears soaking into your jacket as his entire body shook.
“thank you.”
he whispered over and over.
“thank you for giving me another chance.”
you wrapped your arms around him. this hug felt different from every hug that had come before. it wasn’t about pretending everything was okay, it wasn’t about forgetting, it was about choosing to rebuild. one day at a time.
after a long while, he finally pulled back, his eyes were swollen.
his curls were a mess from your hands, he looked exhausted, and happier than you’d seen him in nearly a year.he lifted a hand toward your face before stopping himself halfway.
“…can i?”
the question made your chest ache because once upon a time, he would’ve assumed. now he asked.
you nodded.
his fingertips brushed your cheek so gently that you barely felt them.
“…i missed you.”
“i know.”
“every day.”
you smiled softly.
“i know.”
he laughed through another tear.
“i’m probably gonna spend the rest of my life apologizing.”
you shook your head.
“don’t.”
“why?”
“because i don’t want the rest of our life to be about what happened.”
you slipped your hand back into his.
“i want it to be about what happens next.”
his eyes filled all over again. without another word, he leaned down and kissed you.
when he rested his forehead against yours afterward, neither of you spoke. you didn’t need to.
for the first time in months, there was nothing left unsaid, and somewhere back at hayvenhurst, notebooks still covered the piano.
unfinished songs still waited to be recorded. the album would still be there tomorrow. this time, though, when michael went home, he already knew what he would do first.
he would ask you how your day had been. and this time, he would stay long enough to hear every word.
⠀ ꩜ .ᐟ : this final part has been in my drafts for a bit, but it took me so long to finally be happy with it. i originally planned for it to be a sad ending, when reader and michael go their separate ways, but i changed it last minute. the with love series is now complete, BUT- i’ll be happy to write little oneshots or side stories for them (๑>◡<๑)
tag list — @eggywritezstuff @arood98 @antisspiderguy @osugahunnyicedtea @cunty000 @mjlover0829 @animegamerfox @living-ghostgrl @dollyvuu @cherubae111 @closetedkiller @pupperonilover-blog @babygguk98 @mile3na @callmelyriic @queenofklonnie22 @sebbysbaby @helalokithor @unknwnbrii @ssexsellls @spiirituall @luvs4harrington @yennabow @saysaysaymjenthusiast @equityjinx @anothergoldenratio @ooooglymoooogly @artflooo @petitedollnina @pinkieghouls @michaelsgirlie @khxna @anglfac @erynnnn @ange1fce @smoothcriminalgf @watermielonnn @chocotragedy @saiyajvn @lauren7050 @tenderlyboundlessparagon @kiwimeow0-o @applehead-angelface @michaelsbabymother @raefoxiegirl @softformj @offthebrina @appleheadannie @lustfairyy @strawberryswirlsworld @marley1773 @swavydadon @nunusmoll @fire-in-her-veinz @invincixbutterflies @talesofanemerald @emmyyy21 @moro-maybe @jenniversity @wreneddieilysm @oidloid @sagasreads @spiirituall @exactlysizzlingdonut @kayybaereads
Michael Jackson THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL (1987)
Positions
Michael Jackson
Synopsis: Based off of this ask. Mike kept his word with Break of Dawn
Pairing: Mature era Michael Jackson x black fem!reader
Warnings: Smut, smut, smut and more smut. So much smut. So much filth. So much nastiness. Prepare yourself. MDNI I will find you, and when I find you...I will end you.
Drea's Note: Beneath the break lies the nastiest, filthiest, raunchiest thing I have ever adjusted my fingers to type out on a keyboard into a document. I am ashamed of myself for fulfilling this request (a lie) ENJOY. motavaation, motavaetion, motavaetion!!!
daughter!reader whos shy and kept to herself, and dad michael trying to get her out of her nervous state. so cute
Shyness
Michael x daughter! Reader
Summary: Your dad is trying to break you out of your nervous state.
Your father always said you had two volumes, silent and even more silent. You preferred to stay tucked beside whoever made you feel safest, your tiny fingers wrapped around the sleeve of Michael's shirt while the rest of the world bustled around you. At family gatherings, you'd hide behind his legs.
If someone greeted you, you'd bury your face against him. If somebody complimented your outfit? Your ears turned bright red as you tucked yourself even closer. "She's just shy," Michael would say with a warm smile, rubbing your back. "Aren't you, sweetheart?" You answered by clutching his hand a little tighter.
One afternoon, Michael had taken you with him to the recording studio. Everyone adored you. "Look who's here!" one of the engineers laughed. You ducked behind Michael's coat. Michael chuckled. He reached behind him, finding your little hand. "They're just saying hi."
You peeked out for half a second. "..." Then disappeared again. The room laughed softly. "She's gotten taller since last time." Michael smiled proudly. "I know." He gently nudged you forward just enough that your face was visible. "Can you wave, love?" Your hand lifted the tiniest bit.
A barely there wave. "So polite," someone smiled. They looked away. You hid again, Michael couldn't help laughing. "My little angel."
---------------------------------------------------------
At home, he tried everything. "Dance party?" You shook your head. "What about ice cream?" A shrug. "A movie?" Another shrug. Michael dramatically clutched his chest. "Ooh you wound me." The corners of your mouth twitched. "A smile!" he gasped dramatically. "I saw it!"
You quickly covered your face with both hands. "Nope, too late." He scooped you into his lap. "I caught it, there was definitely a smile." "There wasn't," you mumbled into his shoulder. "I think there was." "There wasn't."
"Oh so somebody else is sitting on Daddy's lap?" You finally looked up. "What?" "My daughter smiles, I don't know who this serious little lady is." You huffed. "I'm me." He gently booped your nose. "That's my girl."
---------------------------------------------------------
Your shyness became more noticeable once you started school. Every afternoon, Michael would kneel beside you while you took off your backpack. "How was your day, angel?" A tiny shrug. "Good." "What'd you do?"
"Stuff." "What kind of stuff?" "School stuff." He fought a smile. "So informative." You smiled shyly at the floor. He tilted his head to catch your eyes. "Did anyone make you laugh today?" "Maybe."
"Maybe?" You nodded. "Who?" "..." "Emily." He grinned. "I knew we'd get there."
---------------------------------------------------------
One evening, he found you curled up in the library with a book much too big for your lap. "You hiding?" "No." He raised an eyebrow. "Maybe."
He laughed softly. "I thought so." He settled beside you on the couch. Neither of you spoke and turned pages. "You know..." Michael broke the silence gently. "You don't have to be loud." You looked up. "I don't?"
He shook his head. "Nope, you don't have to be the funniest person or the most outgoing." He smiled. "You just have to be you."
Your shoulders relaxed. "What if people think I'm weird?" His expression softened. He set the book aside and opened his arms. You climbed into them, he kissed your hair. "There isn't one thing weird about you."
"I don't talk much though." "So?" "I get nervous." "So do I." Your eyes widened. "You do?" Michael laughed. "All the time." "I still get butterflies." "Before concerts?"
"Oh, definitely." "Interviews?" "Mhm." "Meeting new people?" "The worst." You blinked. "I thought only I did." He shooked his and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Being brave doesn't mean you're never scared."
"It means you do things even when you are." You leaned your head against his chest. "I don't know how." He rubbed slow circles across your back. "You don't have to do it all today."
"Maybe tomorrow, you say hello first if that's too hard..." He smiled. "You smile." He squeezed you gently. "If that's too hard you stand beside daddy until you're ready." You were quiet for a long moment. "I like when you're with me." His heart melted. "I like being with you too, sweetgirl."
"No I mean…" You looked up at him with complete sincerity. "I'm brave when you're there." Michael's eyes became glassy. He hugged you tightly. "I think you're giving yourself way too little credit." He kissed the top of your head.
"Every single day, you wake up, go to school to meet new people and keep trying. That already makes you brave." You sniffled a little. "It does?" "It absolutely does." He smiled as he wiped away one tiny tear with his thumb. "One day, you won't need Daddy standing beside you anymore." You frowned. "I don't want that." He laughed.
"I don't either." You giggled. "Until then" He bumped his forehead gently against yours. "You borrow my courage and I'll carry the extra for both of us." You wrapped your arms around his neck. "Okay." He smiled so brightly his cheeks hurt. "That's my girl." A comfortable silence settled over the room again.
Michael whispered dramatically, "I've been talking this whole time." "Mhm." "You only said about twenty words." You hid your smile against his shoulder. "I know." "I think that might be a new family record."
A tiny laugh escaped you. Michael grinned, and hugged you tight.
𝒮𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒮𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝐹𝒶𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓈𝓎
summary - imagine: you've been michael's makeup artist for years, and quickly you became best friends. after his performance at the 1995 mtv video music awards he admits that he's had a crush on you for a while. (alternate universe: michael never married lisa marie presley) (michael x you)
word count - 1.9k
content - fluff!!!!!! lots of yearning on michael's part, mention of y/n
taglist - @djotally
thank you anon for the request, i hope i did this justice!!
𝗠𝗧𝗩 𝗩𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗼 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝟭𝟵𝟵𝟱
You were touching up Michael’s makeup and hair backstage for his performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Throughout the years, your feelings for Michael grew into more than just seeing him as a friend, but you never wanted to admit it to him because you knew he didn’t feel the same. Or so you thought.
He was going insane keeping this secret from you. Every time he tried to tell you how he felt about you, the nerves took over and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He loved you. He loved everything about you. The way your smile lit up your face, the sparkle in your eye when you looked at him, the way your hair always looked so perfect even when you weren’t trying, and the way your perfume smelled.
The sound of your voice made his heart pound, because to him your voice was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. All he ever wanted to do was make you laugh when you were together because he loved hearing you laugh.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off you as you glided back and forth grabbing brushes from your bag. “Are you going to watch me perform?” He asked, his voice was low.
You let out a soft laugh, “yeah, of course. I’ll be watching from the side.”
He shook his head, “no, I mean I want you in the crowd.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Michael, I’m here to work, and I don’t even think I’ll be allowed to sit in the crowd, I’m your makeup artist not your date. Also, I’m not dressed appropriately to be out there, I’m wearing jeans.”
“Well I think you look great as usual, and I already had them save a seat for you because I want you to watch me from the crowd.” Clearly, he wasn’t giving up.
You crossed your arms and squinted your eyes at him, “oh, you’re sneaky!” You began to tickle him.
He let out a loud cackle and squirmed in his seat, “NO! STOP!” He begged.
His laugh was one of your favorite things about him, it was so contagious. You fluffed up his curls and pulled out a few more to frame his face. Michael bit his lip, his heart was racing just from looking at you. You tapped his knees so you could step in between his legs to get close enough to do his eyeliner. It was important to you that it always looked perfect. Every time you did this, it drove him absolutely crazy. He loved having you this close to him, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around your waist and pull you onto his lap.
The smell of his cologne wrapped around you, and it sent a shiver down your spine. Michael always smelled so amazing, you loved his cologne. The scent of florals mixed with vanilla and cedar enveloped you so sweetly. Your breath hitched in your chest, you stepped back on your heels, nearly falling. You were so used to being this close to him, but something came over you. Michael quickly put his hands on your waist.
“Whoa, you okay?” He asked, his brows furrowed together.
You took a deep breath, “yeah, yeah. Sorry. I - I don’t know what happened.”
His hands still rested on your waist, “are you sure?”
You nodded, “mhm, that was weird, I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, “don’t be sorry, applehead.” When he realized his hands were still on your waist he quickly rested them back on his thighs and looked down.
Andy Schuon, the producer of the awards, knocked on the dressing room door, “Michael?”
“Come in.” Michael responded.
“You ready?” Andy asked.
Michael looked back up at you.
You nodded, “he’s all set. You look great, Mike.”
He grinned, “thanks to you.” He looked over at Andy, “she’s supposed to have a seat in the crowd for my performance.”
“Ah, yes. Miss, you can follow me, I’ll walk you over.” Andy responded.
You wrapped your arms around Michael, “you’re going to do amazing as always.”
He winked at you, well... he tried to.
Andy walked you to a seat in the front row, a perfect view of the stage. There was an empty seat next to you. “Michael will join you after the performance.” Andy whispered before rushing away to get backstage.
Your heart began to race a little, Michael never said you’d be staying with him in the audience. You let out a deep sigh and tapped your foot nervously. “I’m going to smack him when he gets out here.” You muttered to yourself.
Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough started and you tried to push past being annoyed with Michael so that you could enjoy his performance. The crowd erupted in cheers, it was almost deafening. Seeing Michael come out on stage made it impossible to be annoyed with him. He was so perfect. It made you happy to see him enjoy performing.
The last song he performed was You Are Not Alone, one of your favorite songs. He kept stealing glances at you while he sang, it was as if he was singing it directly to you. During the song he even pointed at you and gave you another attempted wink.
After Michael was done singing he made his way back to the audience as quickly as possible to be next to you.
You pursed your lips as soon as he sat down.
“What?” He questioned, giving you an innocent look.
You squinted, “you didn’t tell me I would be here for the rest of the awards.”
He sighed and batted his beautiful eyelashes at you, “don’t be mad, I just really wanted my best friend here with me!”
It warmed your heart to know that Michael saw you as his best friend. All those nights you spent talking on the phone when you weren’t together were so special to you. Michael was the one person you could talk to about anything.
You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes playfully, “fine…” You couldn’t resist him.
Michael and Janet won 3 awards that night for their Scream music video, you were so happy for them. So incredibly proud of your best friend for all he’s accomplished.
After the award show, Michael pulled you backstage with him. Once you got to the dressing room, he closed the door behind him and locked it.
You were confused about why he would lock the door, he was already dressed in the outfit he was planning on leaving in. He began to pace around the room nervously, you started to worry about him.
“Mikey… Are you okay?” You questioned, your brows furrowed together.
He took a deep breath, “I have to tell you something but I’m not sure how to say it. I’ve been holding it in for a very long time.” He looked into your eyes and it gave him butterflies. You consumed his every thought, you took over his dreams every night.
You got close to him and put your hands on his shoulders to stop him from pacing around. “Okay, breathe. You know you can tell me anything, we’re best friends.” You assured him.
“Yes I know and that’s exactly why I haven’t told you.” He responded, there was a slight crack in his voice.
“What do you mean?” You took a step back.
“[Your name]...” He took another deep breath.
“Michael, just te-”
He cupped your cheeks in his warm hands and kissed you. Your eyes widened as soon as his soft lips touched yours. You immediately melted into him and kissed him back. Your heart began to pound against your chest bones, it felt like you could pass out on the spot. There was no way this was happening, it had to be a fantasy that you’d built up in your mind.
When he slowly pulled away, you let out a quiet gasp. Your breath was caught in your chest, you were left completely speechless.
He bit his lip nervously, and stepped back. “I’m sorry…” He whispered, “maybe I shouldn’t have d-”
You pulled him back into you and kissed him again as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
He let out a very quiet moan and wrapped his arms around your waist.
This wasn’t a dream. It was real.
You pulled away and nuzzled your face in his neck.
He dragged his fingers up and down the small of your back, “will you come to Neverland?” He whispered.
You nodded and smiled against his skin. Having his arms around you was such a magical feeling.
He squeezed you gently before taking your hand in his as he walked towards the door. “Let’s get out of here.”
“We can’t hold hands out there… The paparazzi..” You mumbled as you bit your lip nervously.
“Who cares… We’re seen together all the time. They’ve started rumors about us.” He responded.
“Yeah but not like this… You just said it. Those were rumors.” You spoke almost too softly.
He ran the back of his hand down your cheek and tucked your hair behind your ear, “I want them to see us like this.” He pecked your lips softly. “I want those ‘rumors’ about us to be a reality now.”
You took a deep breath and nodded.
He opened the door where Bill was right outside waiting for him.
Bill gave you both a smile when he noticed you were holding hands. “Finally.” He teased.
“Oh, be quiet…” Michael laughed softly.
As soon as you got outside, the camera flashes were insane. Everyone was shouting Michael’s name, he waved at everyone and flashed his beautiful smile.
“They’re holding hands!” Someone yelled.
“Shit.” You muttered.
“Everything’s okay. I got you.” He whispered in your ear.
That made the cameras go even crazier. This was definitely going to be front page news, there was no doubt about it. Bill pushed past the paparazzi to get you to the car safely.
As soon as you got in the car you let out a deep exhale, “well that was crazier than any other time we’ve been photographed together.”
“Ready to get called my girlfriend?” Michael asked, almost jokingly.
You looked over at him, “girlfriend?” Your heart was beating insanely fast.
He pulled you into his arms, “oh, you thought we’d just stay friends after what happened in that dressing room? [Your name,] I want you to be my girlfriend.”
Heat completely came over your whole body and face. “Well, I mean… I didn’t want to assume.” You spoke shyly.
He smiled and lightly licked his lips, “I want you to be mine and only mine. Will you?”
You nodded, you couldn’t contain your smile.
The paparazzi got close to the car and began to snap photos of you before Bill could drive away. Although you had already been through all this before, you knew that it was only going to get more intense and it was something you had to get used to.
Once you made it to Neverland Ranch everything felt much more relaxed. Michael got out of the car and held his hand out to help you.
You and Michael spent the rest of the night watching your favorite movies.
He pulled you closely into his arms as you were both laying on the couch. “I love you.” He whispered then kissed your head.
“You do?” You asked.
“I have loved you for years.” He responded.
“I love you too, Michael.” You spoke softly.
Everything was perfect. This sweet fantasy was finally a reality.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the last and final part of with love will be dropping either today or tomorrow, and it’s a tough one. go catch up with the series if you haven’t already before I drop 
hiii!!!! i have a request!!! HEAR ME OUT : making a sex tape with michael 🙈 (or jaafar, your choice) i love your fics sm!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ The tape • Michael x reader
⤷ ゛Synopsis ˎˊ˗ Going on tour is hard without you is hard, like rlly hard, but thankfully you two make something for Michael to watch while he's gone !
𑣲⋆ Contains : p in v, sex tape stuff, sloppy kissing, Michael leaving for tour.
A/n: tysm for requesting!! high key thinking bad era for this....
If there was anything Michael hated more, it was going on tour. Especially when he knew he had a sweet thing, like you waiting at home for him. Month after month, he'd go from country to country entertaining fans all over the world who'd fall to their knees, pass out, or cry as soon as his figure hit the stage. The stage's light just barely illuminated his figure, making him barely see, but the people knew Michael.
What they didn't know was the amount of time Michael spent in his hotel room, his underwear tugged down to his thighs, his fist gripping tightly on his cock as he relentlessly fisted it, his thoughts full of you and your naked figure, but to no avail. He needed to see you. The thoughts that swam through his head weren't enough to satisfy the ache that ran down to his cock, sending shivers down his spine