♡

multi-parts

── .✦ "Never Let Go" - best friends - to a fractured fallout - to lovers | Lee Heeseung

⤷ "Never Let Go: The shift" - The story of when Heeseung realized some of the things he was feeling for you

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ ♡ ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

short stories

⤷ Your Lips - Where Heeseung is absolutely, and most definitely, in love with you (and your lips).

⤷ best friend heeseung - where heeseung can't stop thinking about you more than a friend

⤷ best friend haechan - where haechan is about to lose you on his own wedding day.

Rain always makes you softer.

Heeseung realized that sometime during sophomore year, after enough movie nights with you and the friend group. All those library study sessions, and sleepy 2AM convenience store runs while spending time with everyone, for him to recognize the pattern - you loved the rain.

On rainy days, you smile easier. You laughed louder. You talked more. Your eyes shined like it held all of the good things and light in this world. They shined like nothing can ever bring them down. Like the rain peeled away every guarded little layer of you and left behind the gentlest version of you.

And maybe that was why Heeseung loved rainy days so much now. Because rainy days always gave him more of you. 

More of your voice.

More of your wandering thoughts.

More of the tiny absentminded habits that had slowly become the center of his entire world. Like the way you curled your sleeves over your hands when you were cold. Or how you always tucked your chin into your sweater whenever you laughed too hard. Or how your eyes softened every time you looked out a window while it rained, like your heart was somewhere else entirely.

Heeseung hated the rain before, back when he was younger. The rain meant he couldn't go out in peace. The rain meant he had to plan how to go and where to go without making himself wet or struggling to check which areas were flooded or which areas held cars in traffic.

Now rain means your soft breaths.

Rain means your shining eyes. Your soft voice - cute voice that never wanted to stop telling a story. 

Heeseung noticed everything.

That was the problem.

That was the dangerous part.

Because somewhere between that time Jake dragged him to meet his childhood best friend and years of existing beside you, Heeseung had stopped seeing you as simply beautiful.

Beautiful was too small.

Too shallow. Too easy.

You had become something terrifyingly essential to him. Like breathing. 

Like something put so deeply into his everyday life that he genuinely didn’t know what he would do if you disappeared from it.

And Jake knew. Of course he knew.

Jake had seen it long before Heeseung himself admitted it.

There’s a reason Jake has been your best friend for years. Because he understood you. Understood everything you do. Seen everything you do, seen every best and worst parts. Seen how people look at you, seen how people treated you.

—

It all started freshman year. Jake had become friends with his soccer team mates - Heeseung and Sunghoon - and Jay who has known Sunghoon since high school.

And you being his friend since diapers, Jake was ecstatic to let his friends in on who you are.

They became friends so naturally because of their likes, dislikes, even their sarcastic attitude. Even when sometimes Sunghoon was too snobbish and over his head with his visuals and his athletic spirit. Or even when Heeseung gets too quiet and introverted, they can’t talk to him properly because he’s just playing games all the time. Or when Jay gets too serious with his hobbies, he overbuys things and gives facts no one wants to know. 

And Jake. The ever so friendly, golden retriever Jake you know, was excited to finally, finally introduce you to his new friends. Jake knew you knew Jay, because you two were in the same courses. But he was so excited for you to meet his friends because you have always been part of his everyday life - since childhood. 

Jake had dragged him across campus after soccer practice.

“Come meet my best friend.”

Heeseung remembered being so confused because Jake was overly happy and excited. “You always talk about her like she’s a celebrity… or like some kind of VIP”

“She basically is.” Jake chuckled. “She’s VIP in my life” 

Heeseung just shrugged. 

Then he saw you.

You were sitting cross-legged on a bench outside the arts building with three iced coffees balanced beside you and a camera hanging around your neck.

Jake yelled your name.

You looked up. Smiled genuinely and softly. Like you genuinely were happy to see them. When you saw Jake, Heeseung swears he saw your aura turn lighter. Like seeing someone familiar.

And Heeseung genuinely thought, for one embarrassing second, that he forgot how breathing worked.

Your eyes met his.

Warm.

Curious.

Gentle.

Bright in a way that made everything else feel dimmer.

You stood up as soon as Jake and Heeseung arrived in front of you and gave them the warmest smile. 

“This is Y/N.” Jake had grinned proudly. His voice was happy. Very happy. If Heeseung didn’t know Jake had a girlfriend for years now, he would’ve thought something was going on between you and Jake.

But that immediately went away when Jake put his arm around your shoulder like you were one of his brothers. “This is Heeseung. The one I’ve talked to you about before. Sunghoon left early, he had something going on”

You turned your gaze to Heeseung and smiled “Hi Heeseung!” 

And Heeseung had been doomed ever since.

By sophomore year, the friend group had solidified naturally.

Jake is still with his longtime girlfriend. Sunghoon with his sarcastic commentary and athlete ego. Jay, who is somehow surviving film classes with you entirely on caffeine and delusion.

And Heeseung. Still in Music Production. Still the one who games for fun and quietness. And always somewhere near you. Always orbiting closer.

You and Jay were in the same film courses, which meant you spent most afternoons together editing projects or arguing over cinematography choices like your lives depended on it… and Heeseung pretended not to love hearing you rant passionately about movies. Pretended not to notice how your hands moved when you got excited. Pretended not to crave every second of your attention.

But everyone noticed eventually.

Especially Jake.

Which was unfortunate.

Because Jake had known you since diapers. Literally.

There were baby photos of you biting Jake’s arm while he cried.

You were basically family. Which meant Jake was terrifyingly turning on his protective side. And now in Senior Year, Jake is so sure there are things that will change. 

—

The cafeteria buzzed loudly around them that afternoon. Students waiting for their classes to start like they all weren’t mentally exhausted. Students just spending time waiting for their friends like they’re all each other’s personal line of support. 

And your friend group wasn’t any different. 

Even now in Senior year, you've all been with each other.

You sat across from Heeseung and Sunghoon, Jake on your left side, his girlfriend at a group project meeting, and Jay on the right. You and Jay were passionately rambling about some film all of them have never heard of.

“No, but you don’t understand,” you insisted, waving your fork dramatically. “The cinematography was insane.” Jay nodded aggressively. “Like actually life-changing.”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “You two say that about every black-and-white movie.”

“Because black-and-white films are ART,” Jay snapped to which you nodded intensely.

“I’m not saying they’re not art. I’m just saying they’re kinda boring.” Sunghoon followed

“They’re emotionally intelligent.” You with a pout.

“They make me sleep” Jake said. You looked at him and burst into laughter “You sleep even in colored films, Jakey” 

Heeseung chuckled without meaning to. Your head turned toward him immediately as you heard the sound from his lips.

“Okay wait,” you said excitedly, leaning closer forward to the table. “Heeseung, you’d actually like this one.”

His stomach flipped. “Oh, Yeah?”

You nodded quickly. “It’s about this musician who slowly loses his hearing, but the movie never directly tells you. They show it through sound design instead.”

Heeseung listened carefully. Not just because of the movie. Because you looked beautiful when you explained things. And because you’ve always made sure you know he likes sound and music. 

You always appreciated his opinions on music. You told him once that he has very good taste in music, and even when you heard one of his projects, you looked at him with shining eyes and told him he was a legend.

Heeseung appreciated that more than you will ever know.

Your eyes shone as you explained the things about the movie. 

Your expressions changing depending on what you were describing.

And then your lips moved animatedly.

That lip gloss. 

Fuck.

It looked different from your usual one. Shinier. Sweeter somehow. 

Heeseung can’t stop his mind. 

Your tongue darted out briefly to wet your lips while talking, it was a habit of yours when you’re talking too much and DAMN… 

Heeseung physically had to stop himself from staring. He failed. BADLY FAILED.

Because suddenly all he could focus on was your mouth.

The shape of it. The shine. The way your teeth caught your lower lip when you got excited… and Heeseung… poor Heeseung.

With years of being down bad for you, unconsciously licked his own lips. His eyes still in such a deep gaze on your lips. And he bit down his own lips.

GOD

He’s about to go insane, he quietly thinks.

How would your lips feel on mine?

Your lips looks softer than usual

Then your arms flew into the air dramatically while explaining a scene. As if it was a sign for Heeseung to wake up.

“And then the camera just spins and-” Heeseung snapped his eyes upward instantly.

Right.

Eye contact while talking to you. He should be listening to you, not looking at your god damn beautiful lips. “God Heeseung”, He thought to himself. “Please. Normal human behavior, now!” 

“....and it basically symbolizes isolation,” you finished proudly with a smile. Looking at Heeseung specifically for his comments on the music. Your eyes shined, waiting for him to respond.

Heeseung smiled. “Okay, that is actually good!”

Jay pointed at Sunghoon. “See? Heeseung’s a genius.”

You chuckled at Jay but your attention was still on Heeseung. “Thank you, Heeseung! Sunghoon and Jake just don't have that artsy creativity like us. Silly engineering students” 

Jake gave you a joking scoff and lightly shoved you, before narrowing his eyes slowly from across the table. Dangerously slowly.

After another few minutes of more film talks and Sunghoon bragging about his grades to Jay, you and Jay gathered your trays and stood up.

“We gotta go suffer through editing class” you sighed and stood up. Jay did as well, not before grabbing the straps of your bag and bringing it for you instead. Of course Heeseung noticed that. And while he knows Jay liked someone else that’s not you, he wished he could do that so naturally around you. He can, he does sometimes actually, when the whole group is together - but always? To walk with you to class every single day, every single time like Jay… he wished he could do that.

Jay saluted dramatically as he walked backwards. “If we die, tell people we were talented.”

“You weren’t,” Sunghoon said.

“Respectfully, fuck you” Jay said, rolled his eyes, and faced front to walk away. You laughed again then you smiled at them all with a wave. “See you guys later.”

And just like that, you disappeared around the cafeteria corner with Jay beside you, still arguing passionately about cinematography and whether practical lighting was “emotionally superior.”

Silence.

One second.

Two.

Then Jake dropped his spoon loudly against the cafeteria tray that made Sunghoon flinch and Heeseung to look at him. The metal item landed with a loud clang.

The entire table went quiet.

“Bro, I’m serious.”Jake leaned back in his chair slowly, rubbing both hands down his face like a man seconds away from developing stress-induced wrinkles. “You guys need to stop looking at Y/N like that.”

Sunghoon blinked innocently. “Like what?”

Jake stared at him flatly. “Like you want to eat her alive.”

Sunghoon suddenly burst out laughing, immediately knowing what Jake meant. He had the biggest grin like it was the funniest thing he’s ever heard from Jake. “Okay, forgive me if your best friend is hot as fuck but also cute. like damn? How did you get both?” He chuckled.

Heeseung didn’t react. Mostly because Jake’s eyes were already locked onto him specifically.

“You too, Heeseung.” Jake said accusingly.

Heeseung scoffed quietly, almost in denial. “I literally did nothing.”

Jake looked personally offended. “Nothing?” he repeated. “You were staring at her lips for like ten whole minutes.”

Sunghoon chuckled and looked at Heeseung instantly. “You were. C’mon everyone knows it”

“I was listening to her story.” Heeseung defended and looked at his tray instead. He didn’t need Jake to see right through him at this moment. 

“Bullshit,” Jake said immediately. “I know Y/N. I know when people stop listening to her because they’re too busy staring at her face.” Heat climbed up Heeseung’s neck.

Because yes.

Fine.

He had been staring.

But in his defense, your lips had looked unfair today. You wore a different type of gloss today. Different from the usual color too. How he knew that? Heeseung will never admit.

More glossy. Shiny. Looking soft enough to ruin entire lives. His life!

And every time you smiled while talking about that stupid movie, Heeseung genuinely forgot what planet he was on. 

Jake kept his gaze on him. “You literally licked your lips while looking at her.”

Sunghoon slapped the table laughing. Like this was the best entertainment he’s seen in years. “OH MY GOD.”

“I did not.” Heeseung sighed

“You absolutely did. Even but your own goddamn lip” Jake groaned loudly, dragging his hands through his hair now. “This is exactly why I gatekeep information.”

Sunghoon snorted. “You gatekeep information about her like she’s government classified.”

“She practically is.” Jake said hurriedly.

Heeseung frowned slightly. Jake sighed heavily.

“You think I don’t notice how men look at her?” he muttered quietly. And suddenly the teasing tone disappeared. Because Jake wasn’t joking anymore.

Not really.

Jake had known you your entire life. He knew every version of you. The stubborn little girl who once bit him because he refused to share crayons. The middle school version of you who cried secretly after bad grades even though everyone thought you were confident. The high school version who smiled through heartbreak because you hated worrying people.

Jake knew all of it. Which meant he also knew how soft you actually were underneath everything. Unfortunately, he has seen people use that to their advantage. Especially men.

“She trusts people too easily,” Jake continued quietly. “Especially people she loves.”

Something painful twisted in Heeseung’s chest.  

Because God.

He knew that too.

Heeseung shifted his gaze from his tray back to Jake. Jake pointed at both of them again. “That’s why I protect her.”

Sunghoon leaned back slightly. Jake kept talking. “She tells me everything. Or well, almost everything.” He sighed. “And I know how guys are around her.”

His expression hardened slightly but he sighed and softened a bit. “I’ve seen people try to get close to her just because she’s pretty. Or sweet. Or because they think she’ll just give them whatever they want.”

Heeseung’s jaw tightened instinctively.

Jake noticed. Of course he did. “But Y/N isn’t casual about love” Jake said softly. “That girl loves with her entire heart.”

Silence settled over the table. Jake laughed quietly to himself then. “She acts all chill and sarcastic. She looks like she can go through all things without anything bothering her. But it does brother her. And one day she’s gonna fall in love and devote her entire soul to someone.”

Heeseung physically felt something change in his face. Because the image alone nearly wrecked him. Jake noticed that too. And suddenly his eyes narrowed.

“There” Jake pointed dramatically. “That face.”

Heeseung blinked and straightened up. “What face?”

“The one where you look like the mere thought of her liking someone hurts your feelings.”

Sunghoon wheezed laughing. “Bro, you are DOWN BAD. BAAAAAD”

Jake ignored him completely. “And honestly?” Jake sighed again. “I get it.”

Sunghoon blinked. “You do?”

Jake shrugged lightly. “She’s Y/N.”

That explained absolutely nothing but also everything somehow. Jake smiled faintly now, softer. “I had feelings for her once too.”

Heeseung’s brow furrowed immediately. Sunghoon choked. “You WHAT?”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Oh please. We were like thirteen. I was a little teenager who had a crush on every damn girl I interact with”

Still, Heeseung thought. The idea alone made something turn in Heeseung’s stomach. What if Jake still likes you in a way? Or you liked Jake secretly too???

Jake noticed immediately and pointed at Heeseung’s face again. “See? THAT’S the problem. You look like you’re about to judge me too!” 

Heeseung groaned. “I’m not doing anything!”

“Your face has subtitles in it, Heeseung” Sunghoon said and chuckled

Jake laughed under his breath. “It passed eventually,” he admitted. “Because she’s my family before anything else… and because we almost threw up when I told her”

“Wait… you told her?” Sunghoon asked innocently

“Yeah, I tell her every damn thing! And when I did, we really reallyyyyy talked that night” Jake said, remembering the night all too well. “She made it very very clear that she didn’t like me more than her best friend and her family”

Heeseung physically relaxed again, and Jake noticed… but he didn’t mention it anymore. 

“And because now, I’m genuinely happy with my girl.” Jake’s face softened at the mention of his girlfriend. “But if either of you idiots actually like her seriously?” Jake shrugged. “Then just do something about it.” 

Then he looked back at Heeseung again.

Sunghoon did too.

Long.

Knowing.

Heeseung blinked slowly. “What?”

Jake leaned forward. “I’m protective, not insane.”

Sunghoon snorted. “Debatable.”

Jake kicked him under the table. “I’m not her dad,” he muttered. “I don’t own her. I just…” He sighed quietly. “I know how precious she is.”

The sincerity in his voice hit harder than expected. Jake rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “And honestly? If Y/N ends up with someone, I’d want it to be someone who actually sees her.”

His eyes landed directly on Heeseung.

Someone who remembers things about her. Someone who pays attention. Someone who doesn’t make her feel hard to love.

And suddenly Heeseung couldn’t breathe properly.

Because Jake knew.

Maybe not every detail. But enough. Enough to understand this wasn’t some shallow crush.

This wasn’t temporary. This wasn’t lust. Heeseung had memorized the shape of your existence.

Jake continued quietly. “You know what convinced me?”

Heeseung swallowed. “What?”

Jake leaned back in his chair. “The rain thing.”

Sunghoon frowned. “The what?”

Jake looked at Sunghoon. “See, you don’t even know, right?” Then pointed his head toward Heeseung again. “Every time it rains, he watches her like she’s magic.”

Heeseung froze. Sunghoon blinked between them.

Jake laughed softly to himself. “Y/N gets softer when it rains,” he explained. “More talkative. More affectionate.”

His gaze stayed on Heeseung. “And this idiot noticed.”

God.

Heat crawled all the way up Heeseung’s neck now.

But Jake definitely wasn’t done.

“You remember her coffee orders.”

Silence from Heeseung.

“You remember how she likes her eggs. And she only mentioned it once. ONCE. during our group sleepover with my girlfriend.” Heeseung looked down at the table.

“You know she switches to matcha when she’s overwhelmed.” Jake continued. Sunghoon slowly turned toward Heeseung.

Jake kept going. “You know exactly how spicy she likes her kimchi jjigae.”

Heeseung felt physically attacked now.

“You know she cooks ramen for exactly four and a half minutes.”

Jake pointed accusingly. “And don’t even get me started on the way you looked around her room when you and Jay went there for that project.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened. “Okay, that was because that was my first time seeing her place!”

Jake scoffed. “You came back to my place for our game, talking about her stupid little Pompompurin figures like they were sacred artifacts.”

Sunghoon LOST IT laughing. “OH YOU ARE GONE.”

Jake sighed dramatically. “That’s what I’m saying.”

He looked at Heeseung again then. And this time his expression softened completely. “You don’t look at her like you wanna hook up with her.”

The table quieted.

“You look at her like she’s become part of you.” Jake sighed.

That one landed directly in Heeseung’s chest.

Because yes. That was exactly it. Loving you didn’t feel separate from him anymore.

It felt stitched into him.

Jake exhaled slowly. “So if you’re serious?” he said quietly. “Like actually serious?”

Heeseung finally looked up. Jake gave him a tired little smile. “Then I’d trust you with her.”

Silence.

Heavy.

Real.

He hasn’t even admitted it to everyone straightforwardly. 

He hasn’t even asked Jake for anything.

And yet, he’s getting that best friend's approval already.

But then Sunghoon ruined it immediately.

“Damn. I have no chance” he paused. “Still crazy how you stared at her lips though.”

Heeseung groaned, dropping his face into his hands while both of them started laughing “Shut the fuck up, Sunghoon”

And somewhere underneath all the embarrassment and teasing and chaos, something warm settled in his chest. Because Jake trusted him.

Not fully.

Not recklessly.

But enough.

Enough to say yes. Enough to see the way Heeseung loved you and not fear it.

And maybe, maybe that was the moment Heeseung truly let himself admit it.

Not just that he liked you.

Not just that he wanted you.

But that loving you had already become irreversible.

—

It was late at night that day. The convenience store glowed softly against the dark street, rainwater sliding down the windows in silver streaks. It rained a few hours ago. Not in a way it was heavy and inconvenient. Just how you usually like it.

And maybe that is why Heeseung decided to take a break from his Music Production project and stood up from his table. He came up to a decision to go out and buy snacks at the convenience store.

And if there was one thing Heeseung was expecting, it was that he would see the usual bored guy behind the cashier with his book. Heeseung hadn’t expected to see you there.

And maybe that was why the sight of you nearly knocked the breath from his lungs.

You stood near the drinks aisle in oversized gray sweats and sneakers, along with very cute pajama pants, hair loosely tied up like you’d rushed out without thinking.

You looked sleepy.

Soft.

Real.

Not the usual campus-you.

Not surrounded-by-everyone-you.

Just……. You. His you.

Well.

Not his. Not yet. Heeseung thought.

But God, he wanted it so bad. He wanted in a way that terrified him sometimes. Wanted with a kind of ache that settled permanently beneath his ribs, like it was physically hurting him.  Wanted with the helpless certainty of someone already ruined.Absolutely ruined!

As if sensing a familiar gaze, you looked up and your eyes widened when you spotted him. “Heeseung?”

Your voice always sounded softer at night.and even now, softer because of the weather you loved so much. 

Heeseung smiled before he could stop himself. He walked over to you and stop beside you. “What are you doing here?”

You groaned dramatically, rubbing your face. “Editing break”

“Well, I’m on producing break too.” You blinked. Then both of you sighed simultaneously and laughed. The sound warmed him instantly.

“We should be compensated for all this mental stress college is giving us” You said and wandered beside him through the narrow aisles, bumping shoulders lightly whenever you reached for the same things.

Neither of you moved away. Rain tapped quietly against the windows. It felt strangely intimate. Like the world had narrowed down into this tiny convenience store and the sleepy warmth of your voice.

“Right? I want to throw my music equipment sometimes” Heeseung said

“Oh, me too! I want to throw my laptop so badly and let Jay do everything” You said and chuckled. 

“You and Jay are still partners for your project?” Heeseung asked and you nodded

“Always want to partner up with Jay because I know we’ll finish that project” You said and you both stopped in the ramen aisle. “Unlike if I partner up with other people”

You reached for ramen at the same time he did. Your fingers brushed.

Warm.

Soft.

Both of you paused. Then you looked up at him and smiled.Heeseung swore his heart physically stuttered. “You take it,” you murmured.

“You wanted it first. There’s a lot behind it. Don’t worry.” Heeseung said and gestured for you to get it first.

“You deserve it first, because you cook ramen better.”

He laughed softly under his breath. “You remember that?”

You looked confused. “Of course I do. Who would? You have a very specific instruction and steps to cook good ramen!”

Of course you remembered.

Of course you did.

You always remembered him too.

Not just the big things but the little things. The dangerous things.

Like how Heeseung hated crowded rooms when his anxiety got bad. How he disappeared outside during parties just to breathe. And every single time….

Every single time, you somehow followed.

Never asking questions.

Never making him explain himself.

You’d simply stand beside him under the night sky and complain about the party until he laughed again. You always knew exactly how much space he needed. Exactly how to stay without overwhelming him.

Nobody had ever understood him that naturally before. Nobody except you.

And maybe that was why when you suddenly said: “You should make ramen for me.” - Heeseung almost lost his mind.

“At my place,” you added innocently.

His brain short-circuited immediately. His body physically froze.

You looked up at him and then noticed him. You suddenly froze too. Then your eyes widened horrifically. “Oh my God.”

Seeing your face, Heeseung burst out laughing instantly.

“No wait,” you panicked, hands flying up. “I actually mean ramen.”

“You’re inviting me over for ramen.” Heeseung gave you a teasing smile. “A guy, who most definitely is physically capable of doing anything…” 

“I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. OH MY GOD” You said embarrassed, panicking. Your entire face turned pink.

And Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Holy fucking christ.

You were adorable. Heeseung could melt right this very moment. 

Heeseung laughed harder, hand over his mouth now.

“I swear to God,” you groaned. “Forget I said anything.” You tried hiding your face with your hands. But Heeseung grabbed your wrists and stopped you from doing it. 

“No,” he grinned. “This is the funniest moment of my life.”

“You’re evil!!!” You said and pulled your wrist away from him, still red in the face. Your ears,burning.

“You’re the one asking a man to come over for ramen at midnight and I’m the evil one?”

You slapped his arm immediately. “Stop saying it like that oh my god!”

He laughed so hard his chest hurt. And somewhere in between your embarrassed whining and sleepy laughter and rain tapping softly outside, something shifted.

Something warm.

Something inevitable.

Something Heeseung felt so deep, he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

—

Your apartment felt too intimate tonight. Maybe because it was quiet. Maybe because it was just the two of you. Maybe because Heeseung already knew he was dangerously in love with you and he doesn’t know if he can act normal all night. 

If we’re being honest. Heeseung was kind of nervous.

But he navigated your unit with ease and confidence - like he wasn’t dying inside. He walked inside softly, leaving his shoes by the entrance. He moved in the kitchen naturally, and you watched him. 

You hopped onto the kitchen counter while he cooked. You gave him items that was much closer to you than him, and each time. Your fingers touched. Each accidental touch felt catastrophic.

You talked softly while he cooked.

About classes. About the films. About Jay almost crashing out because of stress every single time. About Jake accidentally calling his girlfriend “bro.” About Sunghoon getting humbled by a girl in basketball.

And Heeseung found himself staring at you again when he didn’t have to look at what he’s cooking. Because you looked beautiful like this.

Not in the loud obvious way people usually noticed.

Not glamorous.

Not polished.

Just warm.

Real. Soft.

The kind of beauty that made someone want to stay. Your eyes followed him around the kitchen quietly. Fondly.

And God.

That look nearly killed him.

“This feels nice,” you murmured eventually.

He glanced back at you. He was also cooking a side dish now. Some kind of sausages you two decided to grab at the last minute before going to the store’s counter. “What does?”

You played with the sleeve over your fingers absentmindedly. “This.”

Your eyes lifted toward him again. “Having someone here.”

Something in his chest twisted painfully, but he tried to stay as normal as possible. “You have Jake.”

A tiny smile appeared on your lips. “I know.”

Your voice softened. “But Jake loves me like I’m family.”

You looked down briefly. “And I love him that way too. Always. But he has a girlfriend and sometimes when I see them together, I feel so happy! But that happiness turns into something I don’t know because…..”

Heeseung stayed silent.

Because suddenly his heart was beating too hard.

“Because when am I getting my own thing like that”. You stayed quiet for a few seconds but shook your head and laughed awkwardly. “I don’t know why I’m saying this.”

He did. He knows. Because he knew exactly how that felt. 

And he felt it too when he sees Jake and his girlfriend, and then you. 

You weren’t lonely, you weren’t exactly alone… but you were alone in the specific way people became alone and lonely when they wanted to be chosen romantically. Wanted someone who looked at them like home.

You swallowed softly.

“I think I just…” Your voice turned smaller. “I want someone who stays because they love me like that.”

Heeseung stopped breathing.

Because he loved you like that.

God.

He loved you so much it physically hurt sometimes.

Loved you in all the quiet unbearable ways.

In memorizing your coffee orders.

In walking on the outer side of sidewalks automatically.

In buying snacks you casually mentioned once three months ago.

In watching your face instead of movies during movie nights because your reactions mattered more.

In every single tiny thing.

You started rambling nervously after the silence stretched. “I mean not that I need a relationship right now or anything—I’m just saying sometimes it’d be nice to have someone who -”

When you start rambling, Heeseung has decided. 

He lowered the stove flame.

You noticed and stopped talking immediately.

Then he walked toward you.

Slowly.

Like if he moved too fast he’d scare you away and you’d hop off the counter looking at him weirdly. So he moved with care. 

He planted his hands on either side of you against the counter.

Your breath caught instantly.

And God.

The way you looked at him. Wide-eyed. Soft. shocked. Still trusting, but shocked.

Heeseung nearly lost every ounce of self-control he had left.

He could smell your shampoo.

Vanilla.

Rain.

Something entirely you.

The way you gasped had him staring at your god damn lips again.

Those lips that make him insane.

His voice came out rougher than intended. “What if I told you…”

Your lips parted slightly at his voice. Heeseung has always been soft. Always been so caring and gentle with you.  “…that I want that too?”

You blinked slowly, stuttering “W-what?”

He moved closer. Carefully slotting himself between your knees.

You inhaled sharply.

And that tiny sound…. That tiny fucking sound… It nearly destroyed him to pieces. To pieces in your arms. Distracted and totally drowning with how soft your lips looked.

“What if I told you,” he whispered, and you noticed his eyes on your lips before he gazed into your eyes. “that I know exactly what you mean?”

Your eyes searched his desperately now. Like you were trying to understand something impossible. His eyes were deep now, deep in a way you’ve never seen it as intense like this as before. And you gulped carefully.

Heeseung’s heart slammed violently against his ribs.

Because this was it.

This was the edge.

The point of no return.

One wrong move and he could lose you completely. Maybe you didn’t want him like this? 

But then your hands trembled slightly beside you.

Not scared. Just nervous. Your eyes are still on his face, and he can see something in them. Something he didn’t expect to see.

And suddenly Heeseung realized something devastatingly good for him.

You wanted this too.

His hand lifted slowly to your face. His thumb brushed softly across your cheek.

You leaned into it instinctively without knowing.

Fuck.

Fuck.

That almost ruined him completely.

His thumb them brushed your lips. 

Your lips could be his actual addiction.

“And what if I told you,” he said quietly, voice shaking now, “that it’s always been you?”

Your breathing turned uneven instantly.

Heeseung watched every tiny reaction carefully.

The widening of your eyes.

The hitch in your breath.

The way your fingers curled into the fabric of your hoodie.

“You’re the first person I look for in every room,” he admitted softly but deeply in a way his voice was starting to sound very very tempting. “Every good thing that happens to me somehow ends with me wanting to tell you first.”

Your lips trembled slightly. 

“And when something bad happens,” he continued, “you’re the only person that makes it feel survivable.”

Emotion climbed painfully into his throat. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

You looked completely breathless now. “Heeseung…”

His gaze dropped to your lips again.

That gloss.

Still shiny.

Still driving him insane. He licked his own lips again.

“I couldn’t stop staring at your mouth today,” he confessed quietly. Oh god, here we go “You used a different gloss, didn’t you?”

You nodded slightly, your cheeks flushed instantly and you unconsciously bit it. Heeseung brushed his thumb on your lips again to stop you from biting it.

“You kept talking and smiling and I swear to God I almost lost my mind right there in the cafeteria.”

Your hand slowly reached up. Rested carefully against his wrist. The contact nearly made him unravel.

“You’re the one I want,” he whispered. “It’s always been you.”

Closer now. So close your noses brushed. 

So close that you felt the tip of his lips, felt the breath coming out of him.

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed. And waited for you, but nothing came out from your mouth. Just your soft, nervous breaths. “Tell me this isn’t real.”

Still nothing.

Just those eyes.

Those impossibly soft eyes staring at him like he mattered too.

Heeseung’s composure cracked completely then. Because if you looked at him like that any longer, he genuinely might lose his mind.

“Tell me you want me too,” he whispered desperately, almost whining. 

And the second you heard him like that, that tone, only for you… your hand traveled from his wrist to behind his neck. That very short second, you pulled him in and kissed him instead for an answer.

And Heeseung…

Heeseung kissed you like he was starving.

Not rushed but needy.

Not messy but craving.

Slow.

Deep.

Achingly careful at first but also desperate in a way only you and him knew what felt… like he was terrified you’d disappear if he didn’t hold on to you even more.

Your lips parted against his softly and Heeseung nearly groaned from the sheer relief of finally finally finally having you this close.

Finally having your lips on his. His on yours.

God.

Your lips will be the death of him.

He’d wanted you for years. Since he met you that day. And now you were kissing him back like you’d been wanting him too.

His other hand traveled from the counter and slid carefully to your waist.

Your fingers tangled into his hair immediately. Tugging his hair softly… And that…. That ruined him.

Completely.

Because you touched him like you already belonged there. Like you knew him too.

The kiss deepened slowly even more.

Your breathing mixed together.

Warm.

Uneven.

Desperate.

Heeseung tilted his head, kissing you harder now, unable to hold back anymore. Every emotion he’d buried for years poured into it. Want. Devotion.

Longing so intense it bordered on painful.

You sighed softly against his mouth and he genuinely felt his knees weaken.

God.

You had no idea what you did to him. No idea how many nights he spent trying not to think about this. About you.

About how your lips would feel against his.

How your hands might touch him.

How it would feel if you ever looked at him the way he looked at you.

And now you were.

Damn. He sounded absolutely crazy. Insane. For you.

Sunghoon was right. He was down bad. SO BAD.

Your forehead pressed briefly against his between kisses, breaths shaky.

“Heeseung…” Your voice soft but almost whining. The way you whispered his name…

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Fucking Christ. 

He kissed you again immediately.

Deeper this time.

Needier.

As if he wasn’t desperate enough. As if he wasn’t needy enough.

Like he couldn’t get close enough.

One of your hands slid down from his hair to the back of his neck gently again, Heeseung made the softest, most wrecked sound into your mouth.

Because no one had ever touched him like this before.

Like he was precious.

Like he was wanted.

His thumb brushed your waist under your hoodie slightly and your breath hitched.

Heeseung almost lost control entirely.

But even then, even now, he kissed you like something fragile.

Like something sacred.

Like he was terrified of hurting you.

Because that was the truth.

You weren’t just someone he wanted. You were someone he cherished. Someone he would protect with every part of himself if given the chance.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you breathing hard, Heeseung almost chased your lips back. But instead, He rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes briefly.

He looked wrecked.

Absolutely, most definitely wrecked.

“Our ramen’s probably disgusting now,” he whispered hoarsely.

You laughed softly, still breathless. But your eyes. God. Your eyes looked full.

Warm.

Overwhelmed in the exact same way he felt.

Still feeling your breath on his lips, Heeseung took a very quick peck again. And you smiled. “As long as I eat it with you,” you whispered back, “I don’t care.”

Heeseung’s eyes searched yours desperately. “Do you mean that?”

Your fingers brushed through the hair at the back of his neck gently again. “So much.”

He stared at you like he couldn’t believe this was real. Like one wrong movement would wake him up. “I’ve liked you since freshman year” he admitted quietly.

Your eyes widened. “All those years?”

He laughed weakly. “You smiled at me once when Jake introduced you to me and I was done. Totally done. And gone.”

Your expression softened so painfully it almost hurt to look at. “Heeseung…”

“I tried not to” he admitted with a breathless laugh. “God, I tried so hard because you were Jake’s person and I didn’t want to ruin anything. If I did anything, Jake might trust me less. And that might affect our friend group, you know”

Your thumb brushed lightly beneath his eye.

“But every little thing just made it worse.” His voice turned softer. “The way you remember everyone’s coffee orders. The way you always save the last bite of food for people you love.”

You scrunched your nose. 

“The way you get excited over rain.” His eyes dropped briefly to your lips again. “The way you look at me like I matter.”

Your breathing trembled. “You noticed me… and my love for rain?”

“How could I not, baby? You looked like you were at peace every time.” Heeseung said. 

You stayed quiet and just looked into his eyes deeply. Seeing and understanding how deeply he actually felt for you.

“And every time you touch me casually,” he whispered, “I’d think about it for days.”

That confession hit you visibly.

He could see it. See your heart opening wider and wider for him.

Then you smiled shakily. “Well…….” you whispered, “good thing I’ve been in love with you too.”

Silence.

One second.

Two seconds.

Heeseung blinked. “…In love?”

Your cheeks turned pink immediately. “Well now I sound insane.”

But Heeseung looked like the world had stopped turning. “You love me?”

The vulnerability in his voice nearly shattered you. You cupped his face gently. As if the closeness of your faces wasn’t enough. 

“So much it scares me sometimes.” You whispered and he felt you breathe in his lips again.

Heeseung didn’t hesitate this time. He kissed you again immediately.

Like he couldn’t help it. Like loving you was instinct now.

And it felt as good as the first one.

Heeseung swears now that he knows the feeling of your lips on his, and the feeling of your arms around his… there’s no way he can ever let you go. 

No fucking way.

When you two pulled apart, Heeseung chuckled. “Let’s not burn your house down”

He moved away to turn off the stove completely but never letting go of your hand.

“Jake’s gonna freak out when he hears this” You said and hopped off the counter. Hands still intertwined with Heeseung. 

“You’ll tell him… right away?’ He asked and took his gaze away from the stove and back to you, turning his body in full attention to yours.

Heeseung almost melted right on the spot again when you moved forward towards his body and wrapped your arms around his waist.

Dear god. 

He did not expect this at all. 

From you.

You looked up at him with those shiny, precious eyes and he swears he could melt in your arms.

“Yeah, I tell him everything. Sorry” You smiled sheepishly and Heeseung cannot even contain the happiness he’s feeling. He wrapped his arms back around you and tilted your face up to his. 

“What are you gonna tell him then?” He asked, eyes locked on yours like you held the whole world in your hands. 

You did anyway.

Because Heeseung cannot imagine his life without you.

Not anymore now that this has happened.

Now that he can feel your heartbeat.

Now that he has you wrapped around him and him around you.

“That I have a boyfriend now and skipped all the date stuff” You said and chuckled.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Heeseung smirked, his eyes shining like he won the lottery.

And honestly, this is probably better than that. He thought. 

You pursed your lip for a second. “Unless….. you don’t want to……”

“Of course I do, baby. You have no idea, God, Y/N” Heeseung sighed and then leaned down to pull you in for a kiss again. Slow, passionate. But shorter this time. “Let me properly take you out first… Please? I want this to be good and proper”

“Okay…” you whispered. Your breath on his mouth.

“Okay.” Heeseung said, breathed in one last time and put his lips back on yours.

God, those lips.

Heeseung swears, this is the best feeling he has ever felt. 

And he’s never gonna want anything else.

Sophomore Year - High School

You and Heeseung have always made sure to go to school together. Since you were children, it has always been what you two were used to. Even your parents didn’t question it. They were very happy and pleased that you two had each other.

So when you opened your eyes that day. You were surprised.

The message came at 6:42 a.m. 

You saw it before you even got out of bed. A single sound - a tone you assigned especially for him - caught your ear as it also vibrated on your nightstand. Soft. Brief. Almost easy to ignore. You were even contemplating to ignore it. 

But you didn’t.

You never ignored messages from him… No one sent you messages this early except him. 

Still half-asleep, you reached for your phone, eyes barely open as the screen lit up your face in the dim morning, a very small amount of light passing through the very small gap of your closed curtains. 

Heeseung: go to class ahead of me

You blinked. Once. Twice. That was it.

No follow-up texts. No explanation. No “I’ll be late.” No “I’m not feeling well.” No anything... like how he usually sends texts one after the other.

Just that and nothing else.

Your brows pulled together slowly, sleep slipping away from you.

That wasn’t like him. Not even a little.

Lee Heeseung was the type to send three messages when one would’ve been enough. He’d explain things you didn’t even ask about. He’d tell you how he slept late, how he suddenly got up, what he ate, what assignment he forgot, which hero he killed last night on League. Like you were meant to know every detail of his day. And you didn’t mind.

You never did. Because you've always wanted to know small details about him. Just like how he always listen to you first, before anything else.

So this… This felt wrong in a way you couldn’t explain yet.

You stared at the message a little longer than necessary, your thumb hovering over your phone.

“Hey, are you okay?”“Why? You want to be alone today?”“Where are you?

You typed them all. But all of them sat there, unsent. You sighed, erased them and locked your phone instead as you sat up.

A quiet unease had already settled somewhere in your chest, but you decided to let it go. Knowing Heeseung, if something unexplained like this happens, he would usually go over it as soon as he sees you.

So you got up and got ready for school. 

But you were wrong.

The whole morning felt… off. It followed you. While you were brushing your teeth, while you were getting dressed. While you were walking to the station.

Like something is definitely out of place and you can’t help but wonder and worry.

Heeseung hasn’t dropped anything yet, and that was around an hour and half already. 

When you reached the school gates, your eyes moved instinctively.

Searching for him. They always did.

Because you were so used to it already. You two do always go together to school, but on the rare occasions you don’t, you look for him first. He usually waited near the entrance, leaning against the wall like he had all the time in the world. Sometimes scrolling through his phone. Sometimes just… watching people pass by. He would either be near the gates, near the vending machine a few steps inside the school gates, or just around your lockers.

Always there, always near. 

If not, at least there were texts, voice messages, a random selfie with a follow-up message.

Today was different. It felt so different.

He wasn’t there. 

Your steps slowed, just slightly.

Your eyes scanned the area again, as if he might suddenly appear if you looked hard enough.

He didn’t. He just wasn't there. 

So you pulled out your phone one last time, and nothing. Still nothing from Lee Heeseung. 

—

“Wow.”

The voice came from your left, dragging you out of your thoughts.

You turned your head to see Beomgyu walking beside you, hands tucked into his pockets, eyes already on you with that familiar teasing glint.

“That’s the third time you’ve looked at the gate,” he said casually. “Are you expecting someone important?”

You rolled your eyes, though it didn’t quite land the way it usually did. “I always look.”

“Not like that. Where's the lover boy?”

You locked your phone and slid it inside your bag with a sigh “I honestly don’t know. He just said to go ahead without him” 

“Oh…. that’s not like him at all” Beomgyu said and you two continued to walk to class

You sighed again quietly and just shrugged.

—

The first period started. The seat beside yours felt emptier than usual.

Physically but also not physically. It’s as if his presence was actually missing. Like there were times he wasn’t there, but you still felt him. Still have him blasting your phones with updates or funny one liner jokes. 

You kept glancing to the side. At the chair beside yours. Empty.

You tried to focus. You really, really did.

You wrote the date at the top of your notebook. Underlined the topic. Even copied down the first few lines from the board. But your pen slowed and you sighed.

Because your mind kept circling back to one thing.

Why wasn’t he here?

All along you thought it was just about going to school together. But now that classes were going, he still wasn’t there. And if everyone could just see how you were freaking out inside, they’d they’ll you you’re overreacting. 

And by second period, you had already checked your phone five times.

Still nothing.

No messages. No calls. No explanation.

“You’re distracted.”

You looked up to see Ryujin turning slightly in her seat, her voice low but certain.

You blinked. “I’m not.”

She raised a brow. “You wrote the same word three times.”

You looked down and you groaned. You did write it three times.

You quickly crossed it out, heat creeping up your neck. “I’m just tired.”

Ryujin didn’t say anything for a moment. She just looked at you. Like she knew. Then she turned back to the front. “…where is he anyway?”

Your chest tightened. Sometimes it’s funny to you that they always assume it’s because of Heeseung. Maybe you two best-friended so hard, everyone really thinks everything is about you two. Everything is about each other. 

But this time, you were glad they know. Because you really didn’t want to explain anything right now. 

“I don’t know…...” A pause. Ryujin took a peak at you then back at the teacher in front. Then she asked, softer this time.  “Did he say why?”

You shook your head.

And as if it hasn't bothed you since morning, the unease sharpened. As if your worry wasn’t enough yet… it doubled the more you think about it. 

—

Lunch felt longer than it should’ve.

The noise of the cafeteria felt distant. Muted in your ears.

Your tray sat in front of you, untouched. Across from you, Minjeong leaned forward slightly, resting her chin on her hand as she watched you. “You’ve been staring at that rice for five minutes.”

You let out a small breath. “I’m just not hungry.”

Minjeong tilted her head. “Well, that’s concerning.”

Beomgyu, sitting beside her, snorted. “Yeah, that’s how we know something’s seriously wrong.”

You frowned slightly. “Nothing’s wrong, Beomgyu”

“It’s him, isn’t it? Lover boy Heeseung” Beomgyu cut in, not unkindly. Your grip tightened around your spoon. Hearing someone actually say his name worried you even more.

“No. It’s not”

“Y/N.” Ryujin said with a worried tone but you didn’t answer.

And that was answer enough for them

Everyone knew you and Heeseung were a package deal.

Best friends.

You have been attached to the hip since the early days of daycare - being classmates and living in the same neighborhood - bonded over the same games at childhood. You were always together during middle school, and now even in high school, everyone already knew how close you were. 

Even teachers knew. Even his basketball coach. His team mates. His relatives, you relatives. Everyone.

And even though they always tease you two about being a couple or being together, they all know too well just how much you two value each other. How much you care for each other.

—

By the time basketball practice started after classes, you couldn’t sit still anymore.

If there was one place he had to be. One place you know he will never miss unless it was an emergency - It was there. It was this. Basketball practice.

You walked faster than usual toward the gym, your steps echoing against the floor as you pushed the doors open. The familiar sound of sneakers against polished wood filled the space and welcomed you.

The squeak of shoes. The bounce of basketballs. Voices calling out each other as they pass the ball. 

But none of the eyes you know very well. None of his. 

Your eyes scanned the court again. Searched the faces one by one as if you missed anything.

Searching. Waiting. But….. He wasn’t there.

Not on the bench. Not on the court. Not anywhere. And something in your chest dropped.

There’s something so wrong. Was there an emergency at his home? Is he okay? Are his parents okay? You were so sure if it was his parents, you could’ve gotten a text from your own parents,.

But there was nothing. Nothing at all. 

So you didn’t stay. You couldn’t. Your worry was getting heavy, heavier than this morning. And it was impossible to ignore.

—

The walk to his house felt longer than it ever had before. You’ve always been into this part of the neighborhood… of course with how much time you two have spent with each other. 

Your steps were quicker. Sharper.

Like if you slowed down, something worse might be waiting for you at the end.

When you arrived, you immediately rushed to the door. You didn’t knock gently. No, you didn't have time for that. You knocked like you needed an answer RIGHT NOW. 

The door opened. And there was his mother. Her expression softened the moment she saw you - you looked like you ran just to get here. Looked like your head was full of thoughts. 

“Hi Mrs. Lee” You said, breathing hard.

“He’s upstairs,” she said gently. “He has a fever.”

Your chest tightened so suddenly it almost hurt. “Oh?”

“He’s been coughing since yesterday afternoon. He said it was nothing” Mrs. Lee said and sighed

You just nodded. You didn’t even hesitate, so used to his mother, his home… this house. In just a second after you gave Ms. Lee as nod and excused yourself, you were already moving. Up the stairs.

Your hand brushing against the railing as you turn the corner. Your heartbeat is loud.

You reached his door. Knocked once, then pushed it open without waiting for his response.

The room was dim as usual. With his black out curtains covering the windows, his neon colored led lighting in his PC table only turned on partially - letting the shadows move softly against his walls .

Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Too still. 

Even his body, lying down on his bed, was too still. 

You sighed and walked over quietly. You stepped inside slowly, closing the door behind you with a soft click. You took off your bag from your shoulder and placed it softly on the ground next to his bed.

You walked close to the side of his bed and softly sat down. Your chest ached.

For something as simple as a fever, he was too still. His face was pale, and his breathing slow and uneven.

“Hey…” Your voice came out quieter than you expected. Like the room itself demanded it.

For a moment, there was Nothing. But you whispered his name quieter and his brows furrowed slightly.

A small shift of his body. His head turned slightly towards where he could hear your voice and his eyes opened. They were unfocused at first. Heavy with sleep. But then they found you and his pupils immediately focused, but there was still pain in his eyes. 

“…you’re here?”

There was something in his voice. Something soft. Almost disbelieving. Like he hadn’t expected you to be real.

Your throat tightened. “Where else would I be?”

He blinked. Slowly. His body, tho aching, moved slightly to face towards you. His face, close to your thighs, you can feel the heat of his breath. 

Heeseung let out a quiet breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “You’re supposed to be in class.”

“Idiot. It's almost night. it'’s done. You were supposed to be there too.”

A pause settled between you.

Gentle. But full.

You moved and shifted your body a bit, the mattress dipping slightly under your weight. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off him and his breath to reach your thighs near his pillow. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” you said, slowly. Softly. Brushing his hair out of his face.

“I did,” he murmured and closed his eyes again. “I told you to go to class.”

You turned your head toward him, brows knitting. “That’s not telling me, Heeseung.”

Another pause. He opened his eyes again and looked at you. Really looked.

Even like this, even exhausted, his gaze still held that quiet intensity that always made you feel like he was seeing more than what you show.

“I didn’t want you to worry.” He said weakly and your chest tightened.

“Well, too late Mr. Lee Heeseung” You said, and rested your hand on his sheets. “You not yapping early in the morning was enough for me to worry” 

You didn’t say it out loud. But he saw it anyway. The way your expression softened. The way your shoulders dropped just slightly in surrender, like you finally got the answer you were waiting for. 

And then you reached out without thinking again. Your fingers brushing against his forehead like before. like always.

And the moment you did, you gasped. He was burning.

“God Heeseung… you’re really sick!” You said, worry and panic evident in your voice. 

He closed his eyes briefly at your touch. Like it was something he didn’t want to lose. He adjusted his head a little and that made your hands linger just a second longer than it should have.

Then you pulled back. “You should be resting.”

“I was.”

“And now?”

His lips curved faintly. “Now I’m not because you’re here, nagging.”

You rolled your eyes and was about to speak but he cut you off

“And I like to hear that more than how quiet my room is”. He said and sighed “I actually wanted to tell you but I know you’d run here as fast as you could and miss school”

You pursed your lips “Of course I would, silly!” 

“I know… and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you” Heeseung looked into your eyes and smiled “It gave me chills just remembering how angry your dad was when I made you miss school, all because we lined up for my silly newly released mario game”

You chuckled with a full smile on your face “God, you’re right. He would be angry!” 

“And your mom will be our guardian angel” Heeseung chuckled

You shook your head at his silliness. Heeseung smiled, although weak and obviously very sick, the worry you felt lessened a bit all because you see him smiling and being silly with you.

After a while, you reached for the notebook in your bag, placing it on his bed.

“You missed a lot.” 

“I’ll catch up.” Heeseung said and shrugged

“I know.” You said and you flipped the notebook open anyway. “I wrote everything down. Took little notes at the sides too so you can see explanations”

He looked at the pages, then at you. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know.” A pause. “I wanted to. As always” 

That made something shift in his expression. Something quieter. Deeper. Something that’s been slowly eating him. But he didn’t say anything. Of course he won’t. 

The silence that followed wasn’t empty.

It wasn’t awkward.

It was comfortable. It was home. Something you and him had always treasured between you two. Something you’re used to. Change is inevitable, they said… but you know you and Heeseung will never change. 

“…why are you really here?” The question came out soft. Careful.

You froze slightly, looking at him with wonder. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t have to come, you know,” he said. “A text would have been enough” 

You looked at him. “Really? You haven’t texted all day, Hee.” there you go, using his nickname that he loves so much when you use it. He doesn’t even let anyone call him that. “And you expect me to not be worried? You expect me to believe you’ll message me back if I did?” 

Heeseung shrugged. Of course you were right again. 

You looked down at the notebook, then back at him and sighed quietly  “…you weren’t there, Hee.” Your voice was quieter now. More honest than you meant it to be.

And something in his chest shifted.

“We’ve always been together, you know that” You whispered. “And you sent that one liner message… no follow-ups, no silly selfies, no corny jokes. It was so different. So different it really made me worry a lot. Even Beomgyu, who always teases me, became serious because I wasn’t responding to them at all.” 

He didn’t respond right away. Heeseung just looked at you. 

“We’ve always been together you know, and if there’s something wrong, you know you can always tell me, right?” You said and sighed, turned your body even more towards him. Almost putting your legs up to his bed. “I don’t care if my father gets angry or something.”

“That’s not-” Heeseung started but you cut him off

“It doesn’t matter, Hee. What’s important for me is to know you’re okay.” 

You looked into his eyes softly and he looked back. The way you said it was so certain, so sure. It made the air in his lungs feel heavier in the best way. As if someone was just telling Heeseung he won the best prize he could ever get. His throat tightened slightly - it was too honest and too sure, but he still smiled. You were gonna be the death of him. 

“Really?”

“Of course, Hee” You said. Voice softer than anything else Heeseung has ever heard from you. Like if he could feel it, it was the softest, most gentle hug he could ever experience. He didn’t say anything. Just looked into your eyes, so deep, so full of worry and care.

You swallowed and looked away. “Besides…” you started. “Dad needs to get used to it. What if we go to college and we move away, right?” You said and chuckled.

Heeseung looked away from you and just chuckled “Right”.

—

On the 3rd day, Heeseung was nagging you about going back to his house.

Of course he was happy you’re there with him. But what if you get sick? Because you’re spending too much time with him and his fever. Or what if you get sick because you’re exhausted from school and still going over to his house just to explain to him what he missed. 

“I told you, Y/N, it's fine! I don’t want you getting sick because of me:” Heeseung groaned as you closed the door of his bedroom and walked over to his bed. You set your things down again after getting your notebook and plopped onto his bed beside him. 

“You missed a quiz in second period” you said, your voice soft, but naturally lowered, like the room itself asked for it. Heeseung shifted slightly against his pillow, still watching you with firm eyes - as if telling you you really didn’t have to be here. 

You didn’t miss a beat and looked back at him with an equal force and strong will. Like saying “I told you, I don’t care”. 

At some point, Heeseung rolled his eyes and sighed. “Was it hard?”

Your shoulders relaxed and you chuckled at your win. “It was but I think you’ll kill it when they make you take it”. You explained. 

Like the first few days, you started talking and telling him what happened in school that day. Which girl confessed to who, how Beomgyu embarrassed himself, and how packed the cafeteria was. At some point, you started explaining to him all the lessons he missed and took care of him by asking him if he’s alright, if he needed water, if he wanted to sit up.

At some point, Heeseung did want to sit up, so you helped him and you two sat side by side. Back resting on his headboard. The led lighting on his PC table and the small lamp beside you on the side table the only one illuminating the room. 

At some point, you felt Heeseung’s gaze on you and not on the notebook or the things you’re explaining. His hands stopped playing with the ends of his pillow or his blanket. 

You took a peak at him and paused, he really was looking at you and he wasn’t looking away. You coughed and drifted your eyes back to the notebook, but your focus wasn’t there anymore.

Not fully.

Because you could feel it… The way his gaze hadn’t left you. The way the room felt smaller. Closer. Warmer.

You flipped a page, even though you didn’t need to. Just to do something.

“…you really stayed awake in class?” he asked after a moment.

“Obviously.” You said, your usual teasing tone present in your voice. 

“You look like you didn’t.” You glanced at him, unimpressed. Then he pointed out something in the notebook. “Look at this… that’s not how you usually write, Y/N”

And you sighed. You hated it because he was right. So obviously right. Sometimes you forget you two have been friends for so long, he knows almost everything about you. If not every single detail. 

“I was worried.” you sighed. The words slipped out before you could filter them.

Too honest. Too direct.

“…about me? still?” he asked, softer now.

You blinked.

“Of course,” you said, like it was obvious. “You still weren’t there, and you’re still not well”

“That doesn’t mean you have to worry so much, Y/N” Heeseung said, brushing one of you bangs out of your eyes.

“It does. Why do you keep saying I don’t have to worry, Hee? Of course I will! I always will!” You didn’t mean to interrupt. But you did. And the firmness in your voice surprised even you. Silence followed immediately after. Full of something that felt like it was starting to surface. 

Heeseung sighed, turned his body straight and looked at the ceiling “You always do that, you know?’ 

“What?”

“Show up”

“It’s normal, Heeseung. You're my best friend” You said. Firm. Decided. Like no one’s ever gonna change your mind.

Heeseung chuckled. He knows you too well. And he knows you’re never gonna back down on this… and he likes that. He likes knowing you’ll always be there for him just like how he’s always gonna be there for you. 

“You know I’d do the same for you, right?” Heeseung said, turning his head to the side to look at you. 

You blinked. Your gaze softening, your shoulder relaxing. “Of course, Hee.”

“Good” 

—

It was a weekend now and while Heeseung was definitely getting better, he still wasn’t in the best condition. So you took it upon yourself to get up early - on a saturday! And do something you’ll ever do for the first time. 

The kitchen smelled faintly of coffee.

Your mother stood by the counter, slicing vegetables, while your father sat at the table with a mug in hand, reading something on his phone. Both looked up when you entered.

“You’re up early?” your mom asked.

You nodded and proceeded to get a bottle of water before speaking up “I’m going out in a bit” 

Your father frowned slightly. “To Heeseung’s?”

You nodded, already reaching for the cabinet. “He’s getting better but still not in the best condition. He’s so stubborn” you added and looked over to your mom “Can you help me cook that jjigae he likes, mom? I think he hasn’t been eating well” 

Your mother paused. “…his mom can handle that, you know.”

“I know.” You pulled out a pot, setting it on the counter. “I just want to help.”

Your father let out a quiet sigh, setting his mug down. “Honey,” he said, gentler this time, “Heeseung’s parents can take care of him just fine. You’re already there every afternoon after class.”

You turned to him. “I’m still doing well in school,” you said softly, but firmly. “I’m not falling behind. And I’m not even getting sick.”

A small pause. “…I just… he missed a lot already and I want to help him catch up. You know, best friend stuff” Silence settled briefly.

Your mother glanced at your father. Sending signals to each other like they actually believe what you’re saying. You rolled your eyes. You know how supportive they are of you and Heeseung’s friendship, but once in a while, they also tease you two.

“It’s not like that, mom!” You said with a sigh.

“Sure, honey” Your dad said in a teasing voice.

You groaned. “Dad! You’re supposed to be angry at me, remember? Please do that instead of teasing me!” 

Your parents chuckled. “You’re only getting away with this because it’s him,” she said with a small sigh.

Your lips curved just slightly. “Thank you?????”

Your father shook his head, but there was no real resistance left. “Just be careful,” he muttered. “If you get sick too, don’t expect sympathy.”

You smiled faintly. “I won’t.”

Your hands moved before your thoughts could catch up.

Grabbing ingredients. Filling the pot. Measuring things you’d watched your mother do a hundred times but never actually tried yourself.

“Wait! No, not like that” your mom said, stepping closer. “You’ll burn it.”

You frowned. “I’m following what you do.”

“You’re following it wrong, baby” She said and you sighed. “No, I’m not. That’s literally how you did it”

“Yes, you are. Move.” You huffed quietly but stepped aside, watching closely this time.

“…why this jjigae? You know you could make him anything else, right? He has his other fabvorites” your father asked from behind you. You hesitated but then shrugged lightly.

“It’s his favorite-favorite." Another pause. Longer this time, but you chuckled. “He has different reactions to it than his other favorites"

“Well honey, I’m sure whatever you make, he’ll appreciate. We’re talking about your lover boy” Your dad said and you gasped. “Dad! Heeseung’s my best friend!!!”

He chuckled. “Sorry, can’t help it”

By the time you were done, the kitchen was warmer. The smell is richer. Familiar. You packed everything carefully, making sure it wouldn’t spill. Your hands moved with more care than necessary. Like this mattered more than just any food.

—

When you got to his house, you greeted his mother like usual. You brought your hands up and showed her what you did. His mother smiled when she saw what you were holding.

“You really didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. I’m sure you make prettier, even more delicious ones for Heeseung… but I just… wanted to do something for him” 

“I’m happy Heeseung has you, Y/N” She said with a soft smile. The smile that has always been there ever since you’ve known them. “I’m happy you two met each other that day in daycare. At least I know someone takes care of him the way you do” 

“He does the same to me, so-”

“I know, honey. I know," she said and smiled. “Go up there, I’m sure he’ll love that” 

—

You knocked once before entering his room again without waiting for his response. You were so used to this already, you really didn’t have to second guess. 

Heeseung looked up immediately. Like he had been waiting. “You’re back.” He said, but he gave you a stern look “You really need to start waiting for me to respond to your knock before coming in… because what if I was naked”

“Heeseung, it’s 10am. You’re never awake at 10am” You told him and shook your head.

“Yeah well, I’m awake right now! I knew you’d come”. There was something in the way he said it. Something quiet. Like he was telling you he was already awake and waiting for you. 

The room felt warmer this time. Or maybe something inside you just felt warmer. 

“What’s that?” he asked, pushing himself up slightly.

“Food.”

“Where’d you buy it?”

“I made it.”

Heeseung raised his brows and looked at you with wonder. “Made it?”

“With help from mom” You said and rolled your eyes. 

“Really?” Heeseung teased

“God. Don’t question it” You said and groaned, but pouted a little bit.

A faint laugh left him. Soft. Real. And it made something in your chest loosen. Just a little. You sat beside him again, closer this time without thinking.

Carefully opening the container.

The smell filled the room.

Heeseung blinked with surprise “…you made….. My favorite jjigae?”

You avoided his gaze, focusing on the spoon. “Yeah.”

A pause.

“…you remembered.” Your hand stilled. Just for a second. Then continued. “Of course I did. Why would I forget?” But your voice was quieter now.

You held the spoon out to him. “Eat.”

He looked at you. Then at the spoon. Then back at you. Like you grew ten more heads looking over at him.

“I can eat on my own, Y/N”

“You can barely sit properly, Hee.” 

“I can, actually. I just did” Heeseung said, fighting the urge to give in. Something inside him was getting bigger and bigger. Something he wasn’t supposed to feel. Something he’s been thinking of for days.. And if you keep this up, he doesn’t know how to stop them. 

“You’ll spill it.”

“I will not!” Heeseung fought back. 

You sighed, but there was no real annoyance in it. “Just eat, Heeseung.” Your voice was firm and commanding. You looked at him with real care but also telling him you’re not joking at all.

He hesitated. Just for a moment. Then sighed. Heeseung leaned forward slightly. Took the bite.

And something about that, about how natural it felt, made his heart beat even faster than how it already did. 

“Another bite.” Your voice was softer this time. Not firm like earlier. Not teasing. Just… gentle… and Heeseung didn’t argue anymore. He leaned forward again, guiding the spoon carefully, your fingers brushed his cheeks by accident. Just barely.

Neither of you said anything for a while after that.

You just stayed. Fed him slowly. Patiently. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Best friends do this, of course they do. Heeseung thought.

His mind was filled with so many different thoughts. He keeps telling himself this was normal. You two have always been so close, so natural with each other. Always showing up, always caring, always there for each other. 

But something about this felt different to Heeseung. 

Every small moment.

Every brush of your fingers.

Every quiet glance.

Every pause.

The way you always have him in his mind and you in his. 

The way you came, to be here. Every single day. 

The way you looked at him with honest care. Gentle worry. 

Something was building up inside Heeseung for so long and he’s tried to ignore them. He really did. But this.

This time was different. 

He wouldn’t tell you this but the night before, when you left, he imagined what it would be like if you didn’t come. If you didn’t show up. 

He imagined what he would be like if you weren't there taking care of him. Nagging about not drinking water enough. Telling him stories about the talks you’ve heard about his basketball practice. No one to tell him about being a baby for not taking his meds. 

He imagined you not being there and it broke him. To pieces. 

He might be telling you to stop coming, but he can’t imagine life without you. 

And he also wouldn’t tell you the truth… but he wasn’t up early.

No.

He actually didn’t sleep.

Thinking about you.

Thinking about you two.

Thinking about your situation.

You were his best friend, for gods sake! 

But why was he up late thinking about this?

Thinking about every interaction.

Thinking every single time you two have spent together. 

You’ve always been there for him, the way he has always been there for you. He’d do anything for you. That’s how precious you were to him. 

And he stayed up all night, thanking the heavens he has you in his life.

And he hopes you never let him go.

He hopes you never get tired of this.

Never get tired of him.

He’d always be there for you. 

He was yours.

Dear god. 

He exhaled and sighed so heavily last night. He really just thought of that? He was yours…......

“Earth to Heeseung, Hello?” You said.

Heeseung blinked and his gaze shifted back to you. Spoon mid-air, aimed towards him. 

God, he really went back to his thoughts again. 

“Sorry” Heeseung said and opened his mouth so you could feed him.

“You okay? Are you tired?” You asked softly, voice full of worry and gentleness. 

Heeseung honestly could’ve melted right there. “I’m fine. Just maybe a little sleepy”

“Why are you even up so early, Hee?” You chuckled while shaking your head. 

“Maybe all those days of me just sleeping was enough” Heeseung said and just chuckled. 

“Yeah? Well, you need to be all good by Monday so we can hang out at school again. I’m so tired of Beomgyu” You said, joking and softly laughing

“You miss me too much?” Heeseung teased and smirked but it faltered when you answered him honestly.

“Of course I do” You said, now softly arranging the food container and setting it aside. 

Heeseung was once again consumed by his thoughts and feelings for you. God, was it wrong for him to feel this way? for his best friend?

“Y/N.”

You looked up immediately. You were so used to Heeseung calling you softly, gently. Like you were everything that mattered to him. Because you do the same. But something about his tone right now was different, and you can’t pinpoint what it was.

Softer? Definitely. Like it meant something more.

“…yeah?”

Heeseung swallowed lightly. Like he was choosing his next words carefully. “…thank you.”

Simple. But, not really. You know each other too much. You know something in his tone was different. Because it didn’t sound like it was just for the food. Or the notes. Or staying. It sounded deeper than that. And you felt it.

But you chose not to overthink it. 

Chose not to question Heeseung. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” you said, quieter now.

“I do.”

“For what?”

He didn’t answer right away. His eyes stayed on you. Steady. Unwavering. “…for being here… always”

Your breath caught. Just slightly. Because that felt like more. Different. Everything felt like more at this moment and you didn’t know why.

“You know I’ll always be here for you…” you said quietly but with a small smile this time. “Because you’ve always been there for me too, Hee… nothing’s ever gonna change that” 

And Heeseung felt every inch of his body relax.

Nothing’s ever gonna change that.

And something in him just snapped into confirmation. Like all of the things he has been thinking about the night before were confirmed. All of his feelings, all of the doubt - gone.

He knew he was yours. In any way.

It doesn’t matter in what way.

All he knows is that he can never imagine living life without you. 

That's when the shift happened.