HOT SHIT

Where would you like to start, pet? Th’ time in year ten I was shaggin’ a bird in the library durin’ third period? When I lost my virginity to a uni bird? Somethin’ decidedly more kinky? Choice is yours.

Definitely more kinky. You gotta give me the big stuff, all that is childish.

I can’t remember the last time I had sex.

What’s it like havin’ sex with a messed up leg?

What’s sex? 

I want everyone to know…..I hate you!

…if havin’ sex in the workplace is the freakiest thing you prudes get up to, ‘s probably best I keep my tales to m’self, hmm?

Spending my Friday night at home bustin’ ass on Madden. Who trying to get smoked?

I’ll make you eat those words.

Not really. It just is what it is, you know?

I feel, I feel. Well if you ever need someone to talk to, hit me up and I’ll give you advice as less shitty as I can give you.

Just seeing Candice imply that she’s interested in Tyson stung.

Ah, shit. I’m sorry, know how much that sucks. Anything I can do?

Just learned some things that suck. It’s all good.

You wanna talk about? I’m kind of a good listener.

You all good, Mr. Wrestling?

I knew it.

Fake fan alert.

Am I really a fake fan if I don’t pretend to like it?

Eh, some might say but at least you’re honest about it.

Fake fan alert.