Thank you for your patience
Dear Readers,
Please excuse my absence from food writing while I recover from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
Ta,
Lunchosaurus

JBB: An Artblog!
I'd rather be in outer space đž

#extradirty
trying on a metaphor
art blog(derogatory)
Not today Justin
Cosmic Funnies

shark vs the universe
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Kiana Khansmith

Kaledo Art

tannertan36

blake kathryn

Discoholic đȘ©

titsay

if i look back, i am lost
occasionally subtle
taylor price
KIROKAZE
Misplaced Lens Cap

seen from China

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Poland

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Venezuela

seen from Sweden
seen from Venezuela

seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@lunchosaurus
Thank you for your patience
Dear Readers,
Please excuse my absence from food writing while I recover from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
Ta,
Lunchosaurus

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Let Me Be Frank, South Melbourne
Where: 217-239 Montague St, South Melbourne
When: Weekdays: 7am-4pm, Weekends 8am-4pm
Contact:Â 0433 419 683
Vego friendly
Vegan friendly
GF friendly
Kid friendly
 How does a sunny spot in a leafy pebbled courtyard with a Nutella-latte sound? Add to that the ability to literally lock your kids up in the fenced-off sandpit and a delicious food menu to drool over. If this gets you all excited inside then get down to South Melbourne right now and soak up the first golden rays of spring sunshine at Let Me Be Frankâs expansive outdoor table area.
If youâre more of an indoorsy type there are voluptuous couches and a display of books to flip through in the very homeley front room. Previously a beautiful old Primary School, LMBF is now a very cool eatery run by the folks behind Wild Timor Coffee which means youâll get first class fair-trade caffeine, stunning raw cakes and warm service all beneath the beautiful high ceilings of a heritage building. Thatâs a win for your tummy and a loss for education, but one of the two, yes TWO Nutella-coffees available might sweeten your guilt as you sun yourself in the courtyard.
With an extensive range of brunch options as well as the odd curry, steak sandy and salad, the menu has it all covered. My favourites being the specialty coffee menu and the decent kids section including kiddie milk-shakes.
Dining Partner and myself indulged in the Bean and Cheese Quesadilla with pebre, fried eggs, guacamole, sour cream and coriander ($17) and the Mary had a Little Salad; cooked lamb, roasted cauliflower, hummus, dukkah, cucumber, coriander and mint ($16). The quesadilla was bordering on perfection with fresh, zesty and creamy all in a delicious marriage. Just make sure you tuck into it fast as it went cold very quickly on the plate.
Bean and cheese quesadilla, pebre, fried eggs, guacamole, sour cream, coriander ($17)
The lamb salad had a subtle oily dressing and a tasty sweet-salty tease of dukkah sprinkled on top, it was a definite MUST to smear the hummus over as much as you can. Unfortunately the serve was very small and the lamb quite fatty. A side of toast wouldâve greatly improved User-satisfaction here.
Mary had a Little Salad; cooked lamb, roasted cauliflower, hummus, dukkah, cucumber, coriander and mint ($16)
Being still hungry after our little lunches we ordered the Buttermilk Pancakes; poached rhubarb, gooseberries and maple syrup ($13) to share. The pancakes were satisfyingly dense and the tartness of the gooseberries balanced wonderfully with the maple syrup. The scoop of terrible vanilla icecream on the side was bafflingly unnecessary, but I guess it could appease a child locked in the sandpit. The Marocchino; melted Nutella, coffee and silky babyccino froth ($3.50) was every bit as fantastic as you would expect it be. Just get it and see.
Buttermilk Pancakes; poached rhubarb, gooseberries and maple syrup ($13)
Let me be frank here, the meals were expensive and the waiters quite slow to get out to the tables. But the food itself was decent and service very friendly once you got the staffâs attention. Unfortunately for you, the toilets arenât very different to the ones you probably used in school, with missing soap too. But it all balances out really once you add Nutella, a sandpit and a big stash of kids toys into the mix. The open air spaces and high ceilings also disperse noise quite well, making for a relaxing experience.
 Marocchino; melted Nutella, coffee and silky babycino froth served in a demitasse ($3.50)
Food: 3.5/5
Service: 4/5
Ambiance: 3.5/5
Sori Cafe, Kensington
Where: 174 Bellair Street Kensington
When: Mon-Sat: 11.30am-10pm, Sun: 5pm-10pm
Contact: (03) 9372 2025
Vego :)
Vegan :)
Gluten-free :)
Licensed
Kid Friendly
 Gyoza ($6.90 for 8) & complimentary accompaniments
While everyone is losing their minds about the new Korean in Kensington (Frying Colours) it is easy to overlook the long-established Sori CafĂ© mere metres away on Bellair Street. And while Iâm yet to enjoy what Frying Colours has to offer, I can happily vouch for Sori for all your Korean cuisine needs.
Not only is the food great there but the service is a warm hug and big bowl of piping-hot old-fashioned comfort.
Literally speaking now, Sori is a wonderful winter warmer with juicy pan-fried gyoza, sizzling hot plates and warm sake. Hedonists can indulge their bellies with fried chicken or pork options while those seeking something fresh and vibrant can enjoy a hotpot with at least three more colours in it than the fried chicken plate. Japanese fiends will be happy with the fresh sushi and sashimi options too.
 Bibimbab with beef ($15.50)
On our visit we enjoyed the Bibimbab; a rice hotpot of egg, mushrooms, pickled carrot, beanshoots and beef which we ordered with the chilli sauce option, although Iâd be so bold as to bring on the flavour sensation of chilli AND soy next time. This delightful sizzling dish is served following a creamy serve of miso soup which wasnât overly yeasty and salty as they can sometimes be.
We also ate up the Tonkatsu; a crumbed and fried pork loin with a sweet dark âtonkatsuâ sauce and salad ($16.50). Yes, it was as good as youâd imagine, and no, it wasnât oily or sickly by the last bite either. The salad however; a glorified garnish, was not nearly as impressive as its crunchy neighbouring pork morsels.
 Tonkatsu, deep fried crumbed pork loin with tonkatsu sauce and salad ($16.50)
There were extra little details which made our visit pleasurable, like the complimentary snacks (a bowl of delicious moreish crispy pieces which are yet to be indentified) and plate of kimchi, omelette and green beans as well as the little chocolate pancakes which followed our meals. The waiter was also fantastically adept at ensuring allergies were known and even organising custom gyoza numbers rather than ordering only plates of eight at a time. At the end our group order was even tallied up for each individual so that we didnât have work it out ourselves.
I canât wait to visit again, and next time Iâll even bring the baby.
 Complimentary chocolate pancake
Food: 4.5/5
Service: 5/5
Ambiance: 3/5
Wild Timor Coffee Co., Coburg
Where: 282 Sydney Rd, Coburg
When:7am-4pm 7 Days
Contact: (03) 9386 2315
Vegetarian friendly
Vegan friendly
Gluten-free option
Pram accessible
Kid friendly
Haloumi Burger with avocado, ajvar relish, baby spinach and slaw on whole grain ($10)
You canât get much more different than from the outer reaches of Sydney Rd to the jungles of East Timor, but a new cafĂ© in Coburg is impressing the locals with itâs point of difference.
Wild Timor Coffee was established by four ex-soldiers who were part of the peace-keeping mission in East Timor in 2012. While they were there they discovered that the coffee grown by the locals was being traded unfairly by middlemen taking a huge cut of the profits. The soldiers set up Wild Timor Coffee Co. and raised enough money to begin trading the coffee to Australia and paying the farmers a fair and equitable price for their product. So now you and I can enjoy the incredibly fresh and powerful Timorese coffee along with traditional flavours of the region like Portuguese custard tarts (choc, berry or original), spicy avjar relish-licked burgers and a range of Timorese cakes. Plus you can feel all nice and good about yourself for helping such a great cause simply by stuffing your face.
The coffee, as you would expect from all this hype is truly excellent and in the hands of very skilled baristas. The flavours are quite acidic, almost fruity and stand up really well to the strength of almond milk (available for an extra 0.50). Donât freak out though, they have cow and soy milks as well. You can even get pots of interesting teas like rose and double mint. Or exotic smoothie concoctions, including green ones if that's your thing.
 Toastie with Avocado, cheese, ham, relish and spinach ($7)
As well as incredible coffee beans for sale for you to brew at home, Wild Timor Coffee Co. offers an impressive range of raw sweeties with exciting ingredients that most people are too lazy to shop for let alone squish into something fantastically delicious. There are raw cakes like the Purple Haze made with lavender essence and the Banana Rama which apparently tastes just like a chocolate cake. I opted for the Peppermint Twist which had a wholesome, lightly sweetened biscuit base topped with a pillowy layer of mint and raw cacao nibs. The mint layer was so delicate, almost foamy, but had an invigorating kick to it. Also devoured was a traditional custard tart ($3.50) which had that caramelised finish they're famous for and quite a sweet filling.
If for some reason, you require more than caffeine and dessert in your daily diet, Wild Timor offers toast or muesli jars for breakfast and a range of quiches for lunch. They will also do you a toastie with three things in it for $5 or four or more things in it for $7. Options include cheese, ham, tomato, avocado, baby spinach and relish.
The big-ticket item on the menu is the Haloumi burger with avocado, ajvar relish, baby spinach and slaw on a nice little wholegrain bun. I shared a toastie with the lot (sans tomato) and the burger with a lucky volunteer and we were both really pleased with the freshness and uniqueness of both. The winning factor all round was surely the ajvar relish; a fiery orange sambal with a creamy base which gave a very savoury, sophisticated edge to both meals. The toastie certainly could have been hotter and on better bread but it boasted plenty of filling. The side of juicy yellow pickled chillies with the burger were especially appreciated.
 Original Portuguese Custard Tart ($3.50)
Ambiance-wise the place has a homely style with chortling blues and photographs of East Timorese and the troops on the walls. However there arenât any comfortable seats, only metal stools (high and low) with the exception of a wooden bench with a throw over it, which didnât look much better. There is a highchair and a couple of kidsâ activities as well as plenty of space to park a pram, but you likely wonât want to be sitting around for too long. For now, Wild Timor Coffee Co. feels more like a take-away/ eat-and-run sorta place.
 So with lovely service, competitive prices and products which taste as good as they make you feel, the only thing left to do is see how many times a week you can have a toastie for lunch. I'm betting...lots.
 Peppermint Twist Raw Cake ($5.50)
Food: 4/5
Service: 4/5
Ambiance: 2/5
Tomboy, Collingwood
Where: 356 Smith St, Collingwood
When: Weekdays: 7.30am-4pm, Sat: 8am-4pm, Sun: 9am-4pm
Licensed
Vego friendly
Gluten free friendly
Outdoor seating
 Industry chic meets cosy and homey at Tomboy in Collingwood. Almost every furniture and dĂ©cor item has been rescued from workshops, Milk-bars and possibly factories, yet the restrained interiors wonât make you feel as though youâre sitting in a junk shop. Everything has been spaciously and generously designed to provide an open, calm atmosphere. Unlike some establishments with blaring music or squawks of laughter from the staff, Tomboy has a peaceful ambiance which manages laid-back without being sloppy.
 The menu offers an unpretentious, simple selection of brunch options with a star selection of suppliers including Dench Bakers and Seven Seeds coffee.
I ordered the Reuben Bagel (corned beef, cheddar, pickles and hot English mustard) and a chai latte to keep it all company. The toasted poppyseed bagel warmly housed a bitey mayo and red cabbage combo, was that horseradish I could feel in my nostrils? As well as a mellow melted cheddar and decent slopping of pickles. It would have been an extra treat to have this Reuben served with potato chips, as per tradition. Small and scrumptious, it was fun to eat but a little over-priced at $13.
Reuben Bagel with corned beef, cheddar, pickles and hot English mustard ($13.00)
The Chai latte ticked all the boxes; frothy and unsweetened with a hint of spiced sugar sprinkled over.
The waiters were really personable, like seriously, exchange a few words and before you know it youâll be thinking of asking them to move in with you. So while the food is expensive for what you get, Tomboyâs ambiance and service will likely invite you back time and time again.
 Food: 3/5
Service: 5/5
Ambiance: 4.5/5

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
SNAPSHOT REVIEW: The Premises, Kensington
Hibiscus poached fruits with orange creme anglaise and cocoa granola ($12.50)
And you thought fruit was supposed to be healthy...
Order the Hibiscus poached fruits with orange creme anglaise and cocoa granola ($12.50) and you'll get more indulgence than you bargained for. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; my taste-buds are still urging me to eat MORE MORE MORE, but I finished the bowl hours ago.
Rhubarb and crimson-stained pear are coddled in the frothy creme anglaise, sorry I meant to say, magic fairy soup. And just in case you forgot that this was supposed to be breakfast, scattered atop are deeply chocolatey granola clusters which add a a hearty crunch and carbs for your tummy.
For a fruit slash dessert slash mocktail that keeps your tongue in an extended state of longing, The Hibiscus Poached Fruit at The Premises is your guy.
Pair with a perfectly crafted Seven Seeds coffee for maximum daytime rush.
Latte ($3.80)
Noisette, Port Melbourne
Where: 84 Bay Street, Port Melbourne
When: 7 Days, 6:30am-6pm
Contact: (03) 9646 9555
CC and ETPOS
Vego Friendly
Kid Friendly
 Monte Cristo ($6.90)
You may have tried their loaves, you may have even delighted in one of their sumptuous sticky fruit buns, but Noisette has even more to offer at their retail home in Port Melbourne. Simple filled baguettes, perfect pastries and very impressive Petits GĂąteaux can be casually ordered from the very-low key cafĂ© which does a seven-day trade and a tireless 6:30am-6pm roster. Perfect for a quick lunch but lacking any sort of pompous glamour you mightâve hoped for from the French Patisserie, Noisette offer more of a cafeteria sort of experience without table service and a pretty dismal bathroom too. But the bread and pastries really are good, and the coffee is to standard, although the beans themselves werenât as good as the barista's skills.
 I ordered a latte and a prosciutto, avocado, cheese and semi-dried tomato baguette ($9.90). This seemed like a dud choice compared to the experiences of my Dining companions as unlike the other sandwiches, it was more bread than anything. Of course, this isnât a terrible thing when the baguettes are excellent, but to say that mine had half the filling which would be required is actually an understatement. So my prosciutto baguette suffered terribly from stingey filling; just a few shavings of prosciutto and cheese sliced so thin, it was translucent. While the ingredients were all nice enough, I could barely detect them at all.
Convinced Iâd just been unlucky, I followed lunch up with a chocolate and raspberry mousse Petits GĂąteaux; the Monte Cristo ($6.90). As suspected, it blew me away with all of its pillowy aerated chocolate and tart raspberry goodness. Unlike other chocolate mousses, it was not heavy on the cream so it didnât leave your stomach with any sickly regrets half-way through. Very enjoyable.
Noisette know how to bake and their prices are pretty reasonable too, but while the service isnât bad, it wonât add anything to your experience. The brilliant munchables are probably going to be much more enchanting as take-aways. Just make sure you pick one of the âfullâ baguette sandwiches.
 Prosciutto, avocado, cheese and semi-dried tomato baguette ($9.90)
Food: 4/5
Service: 2.5/5
Ambiance: 2/5
<a href="http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/71/1440146/restaurant/Melbourne/NoIsette-Port-Melbourne"><img alt="NoĂźsette on Urbanspoon" src="http://www.urbanspoon.com/b/link/1440146/minilink.gif" style="border:none;width:130px;height:36px" /></a>
Gingerboy, Melbourne
Where: 27-29 Crossley St, Melbourne
When: Mon-Fri 12pm-2:30pm, Mon-Sat 5.30pm-late
Contact: (03) 9662 4200
Vego :)
Licensed
Glittery Interior
Nestled in a quintessential cobbled alley, Gingerboy is a glittery, high-end Melbourne favourite serving âmodern south-east Asian street-foodâ. The venue has an exciting bar-vibe; low lights, dark smooth furnishings and bar-staff whoâs drink knowledge is rivalled only by their personability. If youâre after a special night out, this is a good place to start.
On the drinks menu are some exciting cocktails as well as several crisp beers, including a mango beer (a little like a cider), to compliment the spicy food. The menu itself is designed for sharing and it is handy to know that sizes can be modified to suit the number of guests, for example: a plate of three dumplings can be changed to four or five if required. There is an entirely separate vegetarian menu, which is provided upon request.
 Prawn and Ginger Dumplings, Peanut Chili Soy ($15)
Son in Law eggs ($13.50)
To start we ordered the Prawn and Ginger Dumplings, Peanut Chilli Soy ($15) and the Son in Law eggs ($13.50). The dumplings were just incredible; luscious and fresh and had a surprise hint of chilli in addition to the spicy soy. Â Son in Law eggs, notoriously tricky to pull off due to being soft boiled inside and carefully fried on the outside, were not good simply because they were barely warm. They hadnât been on the plate very long but still the insides were tepid, which is a real game changer for runny yolks. The accompanying chilli jam was fantastic, just make sure it doesnât get left behind on the plate when you excitedly snatch your egg away.
Following the entrĂ©es we indulged in one of the specials; pieces of deep-fried crab with a zesty, very savoury salad of fennel, red onion and herbs. The crabâs buttery flesh melted in mouths, although some thought the batter was a little heavy. Servings were quite small, with only really a little finger of meat per person.
Also eaten were the Fried Sticky Rice Balls, Chilli and Coconut Caramel ($13) which werenât nearly as fantastic as their mouth-watering description. The balls were flavourless and stuck in teeth while the sauce couldnât easily be mopped up by them so it didnât come together very well.
Next up was the Fried Silken Tofu, Blackbean Chilli Soy, Crisp Asian Coleslaw ($32) which was very sweet and very delightful. Silken tofu takes on an entirely new feel when deep fried, with a crispy outside and a warm creamy explosion inside.
Surprisingly the humble Wok Greens ($8.50) we had on the side was my favourite dish. Theyâd been infused by a smoky wok and perfectly accented by a touch of oil and fresh bean shoots.
 Fried Silken Tofu, Blackbean Chilli Soy, Crisp Asian Coleslaw ($32)
Deep-fried Crab Special
Fried Sticky Rice Balls, Chilli and Coconut Caramel $13
To finish, we indulged in dessert share plate ($39.50) which contained all of the following: south eastern mess of strawberries, passionfruit, mandarin sorbet, chilled toasted coconut pudding with black sesame and chocolate soil, cinnamon sugared banana fritters with pandan ice cream, chilli peanut parfait and choc coated freeze dried fruit, vanilla and rhubarb compote with cashew crumble. All this felt like more of a visual performance than anything. All the flavours were surprisingly subtle, particularly the ice-creams. Even the chocolate dessert didnât have a lot of depth to it. The exception to this was the rhubarb and custard which managed a perfect marriage of sweet, tart and creamy.
 Gingerboy does feel like a special experience both in atmosphere and food creativity but some of the dishes lacked the real intensity of flavour from the traditional cuisines which inspired them. It is also important to consider the price tier Gingerboy are playing in, which has brought the food rating down slightly. The staff is professional and attentive although very serious and really could have been warmer.
 Dessert Share Plate ($39.50)
Food: 3/5
Service: 4/5
Ambiance: 5/5
Best value for money high tea in Melbourne for a 50th birthday
Hi there,
Thanks for your question. It's an interesting one actually because High Tea is not typically synonymous with good value, as the point of one really is indulgence. It's really tricky though because while you can definitely find cheaper High Teas (from as little as about $30 and probably not very good), even the larger hotels can be a bit disappointing despite the fatter price tag.
I would hands-down suggest The Grand Hyatt's 'Afternoon Tea' which is $65 per person on the weekend and includes a gorgeous dessert buffet. I've never been disappointed with food or coffee at The Hyatt, and their Afternoon Tea is no exception. It certainly isn't the cheapest option but it IS much better than even it's similarly-priced peers at The Westin and The Windsor.
There are cheaper options available all over Melbourne at smaller restaurants and cafes, although I personally think a High Tea is best eaten somewhere grand and beautiful.
I hope the 50th goes well!
x Lunchosaurus
Union Food and Wine, Ascot Vale
Where: 169 Union Road, Ascot Vale When: Wed to Fri- lunch, dinner, Sat- breakfast, lunch, dinner, Sun- breakfast, lunch Contact: (03) 9372 7566 Licensed Vego :( Ascot Valeâs rather drab Union Road shopping strip is brightened by Union Food and Wine; a light-filled cafĂ© with a short, beautiful menu and a relaxed vibe. The reasonable prices and casual setting make the rather fancy menu options feel even more special. After just a few minutes you get the feeling that this is a cafĂ© that offers a little more; an extensive wine list and dinner in the later half of the week. The waiters are very personable, and seem to really care a great deal about what they do. Dining Partner and I ordered coffee, the heirloom carrot salad with sultanas, mint, oregano and parsley dressing ($10) and the warm ciabatta roll with pulled beef short rib, celeriac remoulade and onion rings ($15). Although our coffees had all the potential in craftsmanship and beans, they were far too milky for our liking. The saladâs generous and indulgent dressing played up the sweetness of the tender carrots without overpowering and the sultanas provided a nice accent too. It was very garlicky and oily (perhaps too oily) but still felt very fresh. Heirloom carrot salad with sultanas, mint, oregano and parsley dressing ($10) The pulled beef ciabatta was unapologetically stodgy; in all its shades of beige and brown. The meat had a delicate sweetness but was so incredibly oily that it soaked through the bun and took away any freshness the celeriac remoulade could have offered. The onion rings were flawless; piping hot and crispy, with a sweet, juicy flesh. If not for the excess of oil, its flavour so strong, then it would have been a delicious meal. Warm ciabatta roll with pulled beef short rib, celeriac remoulade and onion rings ($15) The star of our meal was the dessert; soft chocolate with spiced quince, gingerbread and honeycomb ($13). The gorgeous lick of dark chocolate cream matched the exciting gingerbread pieces and honeycomb beautifully. I was not a fan of the accompanying sultana and vanilla ice-cream but it wasnât too bad. This felt like the sort of dessert youâd have with a nice wine and a whole lot of special-occasion. Soft chocolate with spiced quince, gingerbread and honeycomb ($13) Union Food and Wine is an impressive and friendly little place that ticks a number of boxes; communal dining, casual coffee, romantic meal. Apart from the standard lunch menu neglecting to cater to vegetarians, the cafĂ© appears to have something for everyone. Food: 3/5 Service: 5/5 Ambiance: 4/5

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Happy River Café, Footscray
Where: 45 Moreland St Footscray When: Tues-Sun 8am-6pm Contact: (03) 9689 3244 Licensed Vego :) Vegan :) Gluten-free :) Pram Accessible Kid Friendly Parents of young children will delight in this cafĂ© nestled in a surprisingly green pocket in Footscray. With a huge green lawn littered with toys of all kinds (including the occasional ride-on) Happy River CafĂ© offers a peaceful home-away-from-home vibe with a simple brunch menu and a few mainly Asian-inspired wraps and sandwiches. Today I visited for a coffee and felt privileged to enjoy a sunny Melbourne day on one of the outdoor mats under a tree. Thatâs right, table service extends out onto the mats, which are dotted by coloured astro-turf-covered cubes sporting their own âtable numberâ. There is regular old-fashioned seating outdoors too, shaded by umbrellas. For those who prefer to be out of the elements there are a few inside tables to choose from also. It is unfortunate however that smoking is allowed in the courtyard in what is predominantly a childrenâs area. Latte ($3.70) Waiters are attentive and quick to take your order, with the kitchen responding just as promptly. My latte was perfectly put together and had good flavour. Those who like it strong should specify. For a spot of greenery and a relaxed vibe in the inner city, Happy River CafĂ© is one to visit. Coffee: 4/5 Service: 4/5 Ambiance: 3.5/5
The European, Melbourne
Where: 161 Spring Street, Melbourne When: Mon-Thurs: 7am-11pm (bar till 12am), Fr 7.30am-12am (bar till 1am), Sun 7.30am-11pm (bar till 12am) Contact: (03) 96510811 Vego :) Gluten Free :) Bookings accepted (except before 12pm weekends) Seasonal mushroom risotto with truffle oil ($28) Glamorous Melbourne establishment The European is what many might imagine to be a typical âdate restaurantâ. Housed in a gorgeous old building, with possibly the loveliest front door in Melbourne, it seems to offer plenty in the way of romance with high-brow wait-staff, mood lighting and a rich decadent menu. Although claiming influences from rural France, Italy and Spain, the food felt predominantly French to me. Dining Partner and I ordered a seasonal mushroom risotto with truffle oil ($28) and a chicken, leek and heirloom carrot pie with truffle and mustard ($36.50). Both were indulgent and flavourful, the risotto being particularly strong and aromatic. The pie balanced delicate flavours in a creamy, white sauce. Its presentation was as beautiful as youâd expect for the price tag; as pretty as a picture. It was a nice little surprise to find the almost-caramelised baby vegetables hidden beneath the pie. We followed with coffee that was excellent, yes, even the decaffeinated one. Chicken, leek and heirloom carrot pie with truffle and mustard ($36.50) While the staff was polite and ticked all the boxes, they didnât seem particularly passionate. That said, it is hard to be passionate when youâre working the weekend. However they seemed to reflect the tiredness of the building itself, which felt like it had seen far better days. The stunning front door had been haphazardly labelled with a roughly painted âPULLâ, as if someone had written it in great haste with no time to acquire a proper sign. However, as a repeat customer, I know that it has been written there for years. The toilets were similarly disappointing; stuffy and cramped like something youâd find out the back of a cheap Chinese restaurant. Thereâs nothing very wrong with cheap toilets in a low-cost restaurant, but The Europeanâs prices do set up the expectations of a certain level of ambiance. While the quality of the food is excellent the whole experience of The European feels like it is crying out for some love. Perhaps the very extended opening hours donât leave much room for maintenance, but it is a shame to see such a beautiful establishment fall behind its former glory. Food: 5/5 Service: 3/5 Ambiance: 1/5
Its obvious that anyone can call themselves a blogger these days and 'blog' anonymously. I have eaten at a number of the places you have criticised on your 'blog'. do you actually own a restaurant or cafe? or cook or make coffee professionally? or have a trained palate?. I'll stick to the notable food critic reviewers not 'bloggers' who have no credentials whatsoever. I'll keep trying new places just like you, however..I wont be 'blogging' all about it. I'll just enjoy them for what they are.
Hello!
It's clear that I've struck a nerve here and nothing I can say will likely sway your hatred of food Bloggers.
However I will say that Blogs, by definition are completely subjective. It's unlikely that you'll find one which echoes your own opinions exactly. You may be right to stick with the critic reviews as they are usually positive and unlikely to cause offence.
Honestly yours,
Lunchosaurus
Small Victories, Carlton North
Where: 617 Rathdowne Street, Carlton North When: Mon-Sat: 8am-5pm, Sun: 9am-5pm Contact: (03) 9347 4064 Vego :) CC and EFTPOS available Korean BBQ wagyu, spring onion, house made kimchi, Korean mayo ($15) After seeing it had featured in âThe Age Good Food Under $30â list I checked out Small Victories in leafy Rathdowne Street. In the past I hadnât found this cafĂ© strip to be particularly good. As is the case in many wealthy neighbourhoods, the cafes can make money off the location alone, regardless of their quality. Small Victories impressed me with its delicious-sounding menu and the promise of âhouse-made pastaâ. Although when I arrived I was instead won over by the rather exciting-looking âKorean BBQâ sandwich. It promised wagyu, spring onion, house-made kimchi and Korean mayo. First up I ordered a cappuccino which showed up quickly. It certainly looked the part although disappointed with a very-weak, milky flavour. Although it was decaffeinated and not their normal single origin blend, I still expected a little more flavour than what I got. Lunch arrived shortly after from a dead-pan waiter who was void of any enthusiasm. The Korean BBQ sandwich had quality ingredients; great beef, good ciabatta and pretty authentic kimchi (pickled vegetables). The issue was that the flavour palette was incomplete. It was all hot sauce and sour pickle and nothing else. Perhaps if the creamy flavours had been more of a feature it wouldâve been okay, but the sandwich got really tedious after a couple of bites and I didnât finish it. Regardless of the food, Small Victories was a nice place to sit with shady footpath tables and a fairly quiet interior, complete with ambient glowing Edison bulbs and blonde wooden finishes. I fixed up the bill with the same awkward, unenthusiastic waiter who just couldnât return a smile. Sorry Rathdowne Street, another fail. Decaffeinated cappuccino ($4) Food: 2/5 Service: 2/5 Ambiance: 4/5
Code Black, Brunswick
Where: 15-17 Weston St Brunswick When: 7am-5pm, 7 days Contact: (03) 9381 2330 Payment: CC available Vego :) Vegan :) Gluten :) Kids :) Prams :) Brunswick, the birth place of the grunge-chic cafĂ© brings you another renovated warehouse number with restaurant-tier food and thankfully, no milk carton seats. The beautifully designed coffee roaster/cafĂ© merges industry with hospitality in a truly Brunswick fashion. While the exteriorâs façade looks unfriendly and certainly not that easy to figure out how to get into, the staff is personable and lovely. Even in the busiest hours of the weekend theyâll make sure you feel looked after, plus they know all about their food and coffee, in case you have any questions. Latte ($3.80) I ordered a latte with their house blend (equal parts Costa Rican and Ethiopian) which had tart fruity top notes settling down to a warm, smooth finish. It wasnât as strong as Iâd like but was still very good. For the meal I enjoyed their Moroccan Spiced Sprouted Lentil Salad with Goatsâ Cheese ($15.90). Unfamiliar with sprouted lentils, I really enjoyed their juicy mung-bean-like freshness. As with any salad, great cheese changes everything and this goaty number brought the dish up to the next level for me. The lightly pickled, sweet carrot and raisins were a stunning contrast to the sharp radish and goat cheese. I was happy with the size too. It is worth mentioning however that the day after this meal I returned and ordered the breakfast couscous. It was beautiful but incredibly small, so I wasnât impressed with handing over $13.90 for it. Inconsistencies in the size of the dishes really should be improved. Moroccan Spiced Sprouted Lentil Salad with Goatsâ Cheese ($15.90) And the ambiance? Although Code Black gets rightly busy, the acoustics are good for such a large space and the music always has a simple beat pulsing away in the background that doesnât crowd the aural space. Children are most welcome with highchairs available and easy pram access. Iâve now got a soft spot for this place. The innovative menu has some very chefy options (coffee Croque Madame anyone?), but still manages to be grounded and friendly, which is refreshing. Code Black exudes inclusivity; it can feed both the adventurous and the bacon&egger, and accommodates singles, groups and children comfortably. Food: 4/5 Service: 5/5 Ambiance: 4/5

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
LBSS, Abbotsford
Where: 385 Victoria St, Abbotsford When: Breakfast and Lunch, 7 Days Contact: (03) 9427 8818 Vego :) Vegan :) Gluten Free :) Pram accessible Victoria St, Abbotsford is unusual sort of place to find a hip cafĂ©, but isnât that the point of these things anyway? Operating incognito in a building previously housing a Vietnamese Migration Agent, LBSS (Little Big Sugar Salt) has left all the old signage up, perhaps out of laziness but more likely out of artistic juxtaposition. In fact LBSS has a thing for art; not only is the menu one giant, graphic riddle, but mounted on the walls (and menus too actually) are hand-drawn sketches of meat. A little weird yes, but strangely beautiful. It is all a disorienting, artistic experience but thankfully the staff is the type to make you feel at home, not you know, all confused and stupid. The small menu is organised on a dual axis of salt/sugar and big/little so you can learn more about your meal depending on its plot point. Take this with a grain of salt though (mind the pun) as meals donât really differ too much in size and saltiness. If you can decipher the menu youâll notice there are a several beverage options including regular old coffee, bottomless filter coffee, juices and soft drinks.And while they donât do decaf, vegans and dairy-avoiders will rejoice at the house-made almond milk. But thereâs always Bonsoy if you prefer. We made ourselves comfortable in the backroom down the hallway. Freshly painted and thoughtfully decorated, it felt visiting the home of a very stylish friend, a friend who seemed to have it all together. For my lunch I decided on the âMurica; cornbread, braised ham hock, apple and celeriac remouladeâ($18) and Dining Partner went for the âMrs. Croque; ham, cheese, friend egg, bĂ©chamel, pickled onion and mustard ($14). Both dishes arrived together without much delay. The first thing I noticed was that mine looked very casual and quite small for the $18 price tag. However the ham hock was rich and tasty and the cornbread a comforting accompaniment. The apple and celeriac remoulade was alright but a little bland. Overall; nice but it felt really steep for the price. The Mrs. Croque or Croque Madame managed to pull itself off very well, even avoiding that over-richness which can happen when bĂ©chamel over-dominates. The balance was great, very simple but perfect. Dining Partner insisted it was a fair size but then bought some dumplings at the street party outside, mere minutes later. So both dishes could very likely leave you peckish. We finished with a coffee which I cannot fault; beautifully constructed and full-flavoured. Murica- Cornbread, braised ham hock, apple and celeriac remoulade. ($18) Although leaving wanting a little more to eat, we were pretty happy with the experience. The room had been a wonderful place to sit and chat and the staff had been lovely. The bathroom was fantastic and the dining furniture was generally good although the benches against the wall were a little high. They also split bills, which I find to be a good judge of cafĂ©-character. LBSS is a tasty little find, do check it out. Mrs. Croque- Ham, cheese, friend egg, bĂ©chamel, pickled onion and mustard. ($14) Food: 3.5/5 Service: 5/5 Ambiance: 4.5/5
Café Di Stasio (Seasonal Lunch Menu)
Where: 31 Fitzroy St, St Kilda When: 7 Days, Lunch and Dinner Contact: (03) 9525 399 Vego unfriendly (For the Seasonal Lunch Menu) CC and EFTPOS When Melbourne gets Italian food right, it really gets it right. And St Kilda institution CafĂ© Di Stasio is no exception. Celebrating its 25th year in operation, the classic restaurant treats diners to an elegant, serene experience. The dĂ©cor, unlike anything youâve seen in Melbourne, takes you somewhere far away and calms you right down. While the menu is at a high price tier, Di Stasio offers a seasonal two course lunch with wine and coffee for just $35. With three options to choose from per course, and a choice between two for dessert, itâs a very diner-friendly deal. However it is a good idea to purchase a side to fill out your meal as servings are small. We opted for the Patatine Fritte; chips with lemon and rock salt ($9.50). Baked rigatoni with Napoli sauce, mozzarella and parmesan To start we had a Baked rigatoni with Napoli sauce, mozzarella and parmesan and the Goats cheese, caramelised prosciutto and roquette salad. The pasta was a perfectly executed, typical Napoli. Soft and gentle but not in any way bland. Its quintessential Italian flavours were delightful. The salad, a more innovative dish, was truly exciting with smoky, charred Goatâs cheese and prosciutto; more candied than caramelised, not that we were complaining. The charcoal-licked toast was an ideal vessel to transport the decadent salad to your taste-buds. Goats cheese, caramelised prosciutto and roquette salad For the mains we ordered the Braised pork and apple ragout and the Yearling beef roulade with Taleggio cheese and prosciutto. The pork was very tender, falling apart in the mouth with a delicate, barely salted sauce. It seemed a shame however that the apple flavours werenât more present. The roulade had a surprise stalk of asparagus in its centre which resulted in a bit of crunch. The overall experience felt like biting into a sausage with the beef flavours dominating the dish; more of an exciting visual than anything. Braised pork and apple ragout Yearling beef roulade with Taleggio cheese and prosciutto The Merlot (Yarra Valley Airlie Bank Cabernet Merlot 2008) was a real stand-out with mild tannins and cinnamon notes, it was very smooth and warming. Our side of chips was also good, although the lemon was undetectable. Finishing it all with a feisty Lavazza coffee; a bitter chocolate taste, was satisfying. The composition of our lattes however didnât meet that silky, mousse-like Melbourne standard. Patatine Fritte; chips with lemon and rock salt ($9.50) Overall CafĂ© Di Stasioâs $35 Lunch was incredible value and felt like a really accessible treat. The wines were perfectly matched and the service five-star. The food came out almost immediately, so it is advisable to take your time so that your meal isnât over in twenty minutes, but it would be a great working-day lunch if you had to get back in a hurry. The ambiance was that of a romantic holiday dinner, truly relaxing. Food: 4/5 Service: 5/5 Ambiance: 5/5