Floozies In The Lobby

Hello followers,

I’ve decided to withdraw as much as I can from the internet world. Speaking about this in detail would probably amount to some implicit vanity on my part, but I still want to offer words for those who might be interested. I’m hoping not only to avert myself from all the racist, sexist, and pornographic stuff I inevitably see, but also from exposure to the neurosis that is embedded in the way so much communication takes place online. There really is no way to be around it and not have it affect you in some negative way. Looking back on my life, I realize it has done some great harm even when I considered myself to be above it. If you’re groaning because you’ve heard this a million times, then you’re probably justified in doing so; I’m not trying to be parochial. It seems to me that a lot of people operate on websites like tumblr and facebook in a perfectly healthy way, and I’m not really interested in coming up with some argument that could claim to point out all the covert ways the internet inhibits human potential.

As for myself, I basically developed the addictive mania associated with constantly checking your twitter feed and scrolling for hours on instagram. To be sure, I’m not a special case; you can read plenty of articles that purport to explain the science behind the phenomenon. The gist is that in times of boredom our mind has a craving for social contact, and seeing a picture of your friend or even a group of strangers will satisfy that craving, albeit in a superficial way.

The thing is, I never felt like a junkie, and if I did it was only rarely. For me, at least consciously, it was all about novelty. I loved having new things just pop up with no effort on my part. It felt as though they were presented to me for evaluation. Sometimes the content didn’t matter so long as it gave me some opportunity for edification. If there wasn’t anything interesting, it was just a matter of waiting. Maybe you can imagine how much time this wastes. Not only is it impossible to glamorize this type of addiction, it’s also extremely lame. It’s like the introverted version of neophilia.

That said, I think it is slightly elusive why this can be harmful (barring the obvious). It’s standard in traditional moral theology to speak of vices with their corresponding virtues (gluttony : temperance, lust : chastity etc.), and while this type of lame-o novelty seeking I’ve been speaking of isn’t strictly a sin, it can undermine something related and more perfect: awe. Maybe these two things don’t actually contradict one another in theory, but I’m inclined to think that if your mind is unconsciously attuned to picking up a phone vibration, it’ll be less informed about the surrounding awe that is eternal and dynamic.

The social media “feed,” gave me an illusion of that eternity, because if I waited long enough it would eventually throw me something I could chew on for a while. And the content was dynamic because any topic was fair game. But most of the things that get churned out of it are cheap and auto-erotic. Even the things that I consider truly beautiful, like my religion, somehow managed to trap me just by being in a certain format. Never underestimate the evil one, for these are the cunning methods by which he intends to deceive you. True eternity is invisible, and true dynamism is silent. If I will be able to appreciate their sensible analogs, I have to first do something radical (by today’s standards I guess).

If you are a member of “Catholic tumblr” and are reading this, I would like to thank you just for having such a great community that has provided me with much insight to the kinds of challenges and issues that modern Catholics face. I’ve learned countless bits of wisdom from you guys and I am truly grateful. This is the only reason I feel like I need to leave some explanation. I’m leaving my blog up for now because I was thinking of looking through it and my likes just to see what kind of links of photos I could glean for personal use, but I’ve unfollowed everyone, so feel free to do the same.

八八六

St. Josemaria Escriva: To defend his purity, St. Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow, St. Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush, St. Bernard plunged into an icy pond. . . . You . . . what have you done?

St. Clement: Filthy talk makes us feel comfortable with filthy action. But the one who knows how to control the tongue is prepared to resist the attacks of lust.

St. Josemaria Escriva: Temptation is necessary to make us realize that we are nothing in ourselves.

St. Alphonsus Liguori: In temptations against chastity, the spiritual masters advise us, not so much to contend with the bad thought, as to turn the mind to some spiritual, or, at least, indifferent object. It is useful to combat other bad thoughts face to face, but not thoughts of impurity.